A/N: So this is the final chapter of this set of ficlets! I hadn't originally intended on finishing it around Christmas, despite this chapter's setting (I had actually hoped to finish it month ago, whoops), but here it is!
Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey.
"I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape." –Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
They had left during the singing again, the voices caroling joyfully in the background as they made their way to the stairwell. Anna had given John a look and a nod; it was time to head home, and time for her to get to bed.
He gathered their coats for them, helping Anna into hers, and then leaned down for a kiss.
"What a difference a year makes," he muttered as they broke apart.
She smiled, eyes glistening. "Indeed," she whispered back. She took his hand and laced it with hers, pressing them on her expanded belly. She was due in slightly less than two weeks, the anticipation mounting, especially in these private moments.
Anna had never been one to complain, especially with viewing this as a blessing she that wasn't ever going to take for granted, but John knew she was exhausted. She however still saw it fit to try to go about her daily business, as she always did. Lady Mary had tried to get her to rest more at home, and Anna was officially supposed to be on leave. But she still preferred to come to work with John everyday. In part because of duty, but John felt it was mostly because she didn't want to be alone, especially if something were to happen. The cottage did not have a telephone, and John relented that it was probably better for her to be where people could keep an eye on her, even if he wanted her to rest. Work also served as a distraction from letting her mind dream up the worst happening anyway, and being with him let her be more excited than worried.
She did have magnificent spurts of energy, and had cleaned the cottage from top to bottom before they had started setting up the nursery. Anna had had to take a short break when Dr Ryder had come to remove the stitch, him recommending full rest for a few days and then to take it easy until the day came.
John was afraid that his wife's definition of that was just to move a little slower, which she joked was the only speed she could go at this point anyway. Dr Ryder's visit also served as the last check up before her due date, putting some things into perspective. Anna had been so worried to buy anything for the baby too "early." John wasn't sure he agreed with her definition there either, but understood unfortunately why. The previous heartbreak did ebb with time, as their baby grew steadily and surely within her. He knew that she still chanted bad harvest daily, often simply under her breath. The superstition comforted her, and she deserved to be as comfortable as can be, both mentally and physically.
At this point though, she seemed more confident, and now the cottage was filled with baby paraphernalia. As they padded around for getting ready for the night, both their gaits now affected, Anna peaked into their small second bedroom, lit only by the moon. She traced her finger up and down edge of the little crib, her other hand pressed against the side of her bump, smiling as she could feel their child tumble within her.
"Happy Christmas, little one," Anna said softly, looking down, cradling her stomach. "Next year, you can help us celebrate." Part of her worried she was taking things for granted, but she pushed those thoughts down, the light seeping through into the dark of the night.
She heard John shuffling behind her, lamp in hand. They met each other with smiles.
"Just checking everything is in order," she said, and then a yawn escaped.
"I think what is in order now is for you to get to bed," he chided, but with a grin. He gave her arm a reassuring squeeze, ushering her back into their room, sleep beckoning.
John was worried about the trek up to the house the next morning but Anna insisted. They exchanged their gifts before they set off, but the best present they could ever receive was soon arriving in a matter of weeks.
Christmas Day at the abbey was a little less formal than in the days before the war. While the servants did arrive to receive their gifts from the family in the Great Hall, the atmosphere was much friendlier. They did still have to wait to hear their names called, but they didn't have to stand stiffly in line, and were allowed to mingle.
Since they had been given the morning off, John and Anna had of course missed breakfast with the others, and only caught up with them as they filed up the stairs. They made up the rear, which fit their slower pace.
"Please do sit, Anna," Lady Mary insisted, pointing to a cushioned chair that had been dragged close to the tree.
"Oh, I couldn't—" she started to protest, but didn't have much choice as Mrs Hughes took her arm to guide to her it. John followed, grinning. His wife and child came before propriety and of course he had no qualms.
Anna glanced at Mr Carson, but luckily the butler was preoccupied with speaking to Lord Grantham. Good, she didn't need him making it more awkward with his disapproving eyes. His wife assured her that he was happy for them, but she knew that he'd be happier for them if she had left service.
The chair was indeed comfy, although Anna didn't dare sit all the way back. Corsets were a thing of the past but she wasn't going to take any more chances to look a fool.
Anna looked up at John, standing by her side as her protector. She caught him gazing at her, with his loving smile, and she couldn't help but smile in return, the happiness drowning out the awkwardness. The baby gave a swift kick, and her hand flew to that spot. She tried not to constantly touch her belly at work or in public, but she decided that she didn't really care right now, convention be damned. It was already damned enough at the moment.
Lady Mary reappeared from the group, with several boxes. Her ladyship had always been generous to Anna in the past, but this was certainly more than usual.
"This is for you," she said, handing her the smallest box, "and these are for the baby." She set down the other pile of boxes by her feet. Anna was glad she didn't attempt to place in her lap for she did not really have one at the moment, but she felt odd seeing her ladyship bend down before her, if only for a second.
Inside the smallest box was a silver oval locket on a thin chain. Just the perfect size for putting in a photograph in. Anna glanced up at John first, smiling as more emotions bubbled, knowing at exactly what she'd like to put inside of it.
Someone else handed her one of the bigger boxes. Opening it, she found baby clothing, ranging from newborn rompers, to some outfits she immediately recognized as Master George's old sailor suits and Miss Sybbie's pinafores.
"Since we won't know if it's a boy or a girl until they get here, we decided to give you some of both," Lady Mary explained with a grin.
Mr Talbot stood behind, watching. He wasn't quite Mr Matthew, so Anna did not have the same rapport with him, but he was kind to her. She probably was just "Mary's maid" to him, or even "Mary's pregnant maid," given the time in which they had known each other, but he never made her feel like she was unneeded or had a superfluous job. It was when she saw that Mr Branson had joined him she suddenly realized that all eyes were on her. The former chauffeur gave her a nod and a smile.
Most people would not want to dress their first born in hand-me-downs, but the clothing was still impeccable. The family wouldn't keep it for any future children that surely were to come—not that baby fashions had changed all that much in the last five years—but this gesture was immense to their servants. Not that the Bateses didn't have enough savings, and not that Lady Mary wasn't aware of this. But what it showed was how much she cared, and that touched Anna deeply.
The rest of the boxes contained more baby things, including some toys and rattles, and also a very handsome stuffed bear.
"This is really too much, thank you," Anna said sheepishly, too overwhelmed to say much more. Her ladyship had already done so much, ensuring that the dream of a child could indeed come true.
"Nonsense," Lady Mary replied in her typical manner.
John looked up from his wife and caught the eye of Lord Grantham, who had joined the circle at some point. Upon hearing the news that they were expecting, the earl had been regularly providing fatherly advice to his valet, who seemed very keen that soon the two men would have parenthood in common.
But looking just more at everyone gathered, it meant so much that they were excited for them and their joy.
Anna and John stayed for the servants' luncheon. John of course knew Anna fully intended on staying the rest of the day. Thankfully, she seemed content to stay sitting. Mr Molesley and Mr Mason came over for the meal, and everyone had a festive and fun time.
As things were winding down, Mrs Hughes handed Anna a package.
"Not quite as impressive as the gifts from upstairs," the housekeeper commented as Anna tore into the wrapping.
Inside there were two pairs of hand-knitted booties, one set yellow and the other white.
"I've afraid I'm not that skilled at this these days—"
"No, no, these are wonderful," exclaimed Anna in admiration. Once more her heart felt overwhelmed. "Thank you, so very, very much."
She gave Mrs Hughes a pat on the arm, hoped that she knew just how much she did thank her for.
"I have been thinking."
John looked over the top of his book, watching as his wife ambled into their bedroom, the waddle becoming more pronounced each day, one hand securely on her bump, the other one her back. He smiled at the sight. "Yes…?"
"Perhaps we were wrong to stall on the hotel. Maybe we should have followed your idea, so that all three of us could be together." Anna climbed carefully into bed next to him, but adjusted the pillows so that she was sitting up.
He bookmarked his page and closed the book, looking intently at her. While they had restarted looking at advertisements and he had spoken with a man in Thirsk, nothing had seemed like exactly what they were looking for. When nothing at cropped up by the time Anna was six months gone, they had discussed putting the idea on hold. She didn't want to rush into anything, and he knew that he'd never get her to ever rest if she were busy fixing up the place.
"I know we decided to wait until after but…" she trailed off. "I'm sorry, I just was thinking about it again."
"No, it's quite all right. I know I'd rather have you taking it easy then packing up and moving right when you're due. "
She smirked a little. "I'm fine, John. It will be easier when I can get around a little better, though."
"I did realize that was always that flaw in my plan. But we'll have to buy a bigger house at some point. We've only two bedrooms. We'll end up putting the children in drawers." He grinned.
Anna looked down and rubbed her belly, thinking that there still could be more little ones to come, something she hadn't dared to dream too much about, just anxious to make sure that this baby made safely it into the world.
"We don't have to change everything now. My dream is really just to be with you, to be with my family." John joined his hand with hers on her stomach. "When I was young we moved around a lot. And although my mother in the end liked to think that London was home, I did not have as much of a connection to it. But then I came here… and Downton is the first place I felt where I belonged. Because I was with you. You're my home, whether that's Downton, a hotel, wherever."
Moved, she leaned over and kissed him, placing her hand now on top of his, and the other on his face. "I almost feel a bit silly."
"Again, it's quite all right, darling." John took the book from his lap and placed in on his bedside table. She adjusted herself onto her side, placing an extra pillow between her knees. He leaned over to turn off the lamp, but then Anna spoke again as the room went dark, her voice now closer to a whisper.
"Ought I go back to work after the baby is born? We do need money to buy the hotel, whenever we do find one..."
The baby kicked as John replaced his hand on the swell, sliding to feel it against his palm.
"You know that you don't have to. We have our savings," he answered, ghosting her massive bump in small circles. With her background, his wife was never going to get used to having a little spending money. But he also realized that this was her work ethic in general speaking, as well as her main coping mechanism. He knew that she did not underestimate how much it took to care for a baby, but he felt like she was planning to do it all at once, so used to working hard, no matter the circumstances.
"For all I know, this was going to be the easy way out of her letting me go… she's had less need for a lady's maid and well... times have changed…" she trailed off.
"I think Lady Mary likes you too much to do that to you. If anything, she pays you for your company and advice."
"Ah, so I am a lady companion now?" She raised an eyebrow and then giggled, breaking up the seriousness of the conversation.
His voice was soft. "All in all though, Anna. I just don't want you to strain yourself. I do want you to take a break and not go back immediately, it that's what you decide. You can always change your mind. And we'll still look for the hotel, but I think we ought to still pause on that for a few months. Get used to being parents first." He grinned in the dark. "And by then the move will be easier, and then we can choose the perfect place for all three of us."
She nodded, and rejoined her hand with her husband's on the swell of her abdomen, feeling again together the movements of the life growing within in her that they created together. "This though… this is what I always really wanted. Us finally—" the words caught in her throat a little "—having a child."
The baby gave another strong kick, perhaps knowing that he was being discussed. Anna smiled, feeling tears well up in her eyes. "I almost feel like I didn't plan enough ahead of time simply because I wouldn't allow myself too, in case things went wrong. I only now just let us buy a cradle…"
"Don't worry about that darling, you did all right. And we have everything we need, just in time." He reached up and tucked a loose section of hair back behind her hair, and then returned it to the baby. "A few weeks' time, and we will have everything."
She smiled again, a little brighter, and John now leaned over to kiss her forehead goodnight.
They were quiet for a few moments but then Anna spoke again, her imagination not letting her drift off despite her tiredness. "I do wonder though," she said, her hands stroking the bump up and down, "if he will take after you. I do hope he has your height."
John grinned in the dark. "Well maybe she will take after you, with your golden locks."
They laughed a little, continuing their game of her claiming it was a boy, and he a girl. Whichever, this baby was the physical symbol of their love, one that for which they had yearned for so long.
"Are we decided then, on the names?"
"Well, I think when they arrive that will help narrow it down a bit," she continued to joke.
"Of course. But I know you are quite settled on 'John' being somewhere in there, but again I prefer that for the second name. I do think it goes well with your father's name though."
"William John Bates," she said profoundly. "I do like the ring of it. And I will concede to your name being second, as long as it's in there."
"Well, my last name is in there too."
"Well of course, Mr Bates," she teased, "but it's also my last name, and I am very proud of that."
"Indeed it is, Mrs Bates." They chuckled some more. "But I do think it's good to have a nod to the Smith side too."
Anna sighed a little bit. She tried not to dwell too much on her childhood, of what it would have been like if her father hadn't have died so young. But in those brief years together, she knew that he had loved her so much.
"You know, it's also a nice honor to William Mason, even if it's secondary," she added, after some more thought of all the people she knew with that name.
"Agreed, he was a good lad." He skipped a beat, lost in his memories for a bit. "Now, for a girl—"
"It's down to Margaret or Emma, and I think we'll know which when she presents herself, but I do think this is a boy," she said.
"Well, is that's the case, then we'll save those for later."
Again, Anna felt almost overwhelmed with the possibilities that could lie ahead, but then even more so with the future that was right before them. "It's hard to believe that they are almost here though. After all this time."
She had tried to keep her tone light, even though there was weight to her words. It was a dream first uttered nine years ago when times somehow were simpler despite the war. But she was lucky, she had John, and it was his love and support that saw her through the horrible struggles that had stood in their way. While she was strong, she didn't feel like she would have made it alone without him.
"Even now, considering how big I am," she added with a giggle. It really hadn't been the most uncomfortable of pregnancies. "I don't mind though, I'd get as big as a house if I had too. And all this wiggling—" she gestured to her swollen belly, "—yes I do wish they'd sleep when I needed to, but… it's a sign. It's proof."
They joined their hands together again to feel the movements. It still amazed John, and truthfully he had a feeling that it was all going to seem so surreal once the baby actually arrived. Whenever he contrasted his current life with what it was when he first came to Downton, he realized how blessed he was to have met Anna and be loved by her. And it wasn't until he knew her that he ever could love as much as he did now. And that love was growing everyday as their family grew.
Anna and John's lives had changed so many times, and now this was going to be one of the greatest, in both senses of the word. He had once said that they had been "thin and thin" together, but now they were sharing in something most joyful. He had meant it that Anna was enough for him, but now that it was happening for them, he was immensely proud. He was always proud to call Anna his wife, but now he could call her the mother of child. And he was proud that that child was a product of their love.
Her eyes were starting to droop, and he smiled at that. "Good-night, darling, I love you."
"I love you too," she responded drowsily.
She snuggled back down under the covers, and he kissed her forehead.
"Happy Christmas," John muttered.
"A very, very happy Christmas…" Anna replied, as she drifted off.
A/N: Even though Anna's a modern woman, I thought her lines in S6CS about going to back to work a little too out of the blue (mostly because I thought they were looking for the hotel off-screen, whoops). My headcanon's that she just said it when she did because she was embarrassed that she gave birth in her employer's bed, so she was assuring her employer she'd be back, ever the obedient servant. As in my other fics (and fics to come), I think she'd only come back in a limited capacity and they'd still look for a hotel, in time, which ultimately allows Anna to be working mum on her own terms.
If you've enjoyed the fic, please review if you can. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you for reading!