A/N: Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I anticipate wrapping this one up soon with a twist. Also wanting to start on another idea running around in my head and another in my Series of Mr. and Mrs. Specter. Hope you enjoy and I thank the Aaron Korsh for allowing me and others to play with is character and how we want things to be...Carebearmaxi. Remember R&R

You Know I Love You

Chapter 12 - Scottie and Soul Searching

So, Donna returned to Harvey as just his Girl Friday for the moment. In the coming weeks each almost tried to avoid each other in the midst of finding some evidence which could cause doubt in the jury's mind and proclaim Mike innocent. This everyone knew would be a hard line to tow considering that the charges of fraud were actually justifiable.

Mike worked just as diligently in his own defense as everyone else. Anita Gibbs did her best to divide and conquer even drumming up a false extrapolated charge on Donna's father for bank fraud. Luckily Harvey was able to extricate Donna's father from that situation knowing the history behind why Donna's father would be tempted to turn the route of bank fraud. He had to sacrifice the right of having Mike's charges being throw out to do it, but it was worth it. Besides it was what Mike wanted. Mike felt bad enough having involved his firm family but to involve anyone else increased Mike's unhappiness and misery.

Looking back on that brief conversation with Donna's father regarding how the investment Donna had requested on behalf of her father and the words Harvey had said to the broken man: "People who love other people don't put them in situations where they can break the law", Harvey felt he had become a hypocrite of his own doing having made Donna an accessory after the fact in his and Mike's crime of committing fraud.

Donna came to him the day she heard the good news that her father's charges were dropped.

"Thank you, Harvey."

"You're welcome. I should never have put you in this position," Harvey stated.

Donna who was walking out of his office returned and said, "Well if I wanted out of it I should have walked out many years ago. I didn't, so we're in this together." Donna walked up to Harvey's desk and put a hand over his.

At Anita Gibbs audacity to divide Mike from his family, Mike had had enough after how close Donna came to have to decide between her father and Harvey and now Rachel had been accosted and wooed to change her mind and cut a deal with Gibbs if she gave up Harvey. Rachel who could be more easilys swayed than Donna was almost trapped by the Gibbs' enticements of saying that she could arrange for Mike to attend law school as well and then they could be both be "real" lawyers. Luckily Rachel stood by her baser instincts and said that Gibbs could not persuade her to do the unthinkable.

"You have to get Scottie to investigate Anita Gibbs' sister. There has to be some way we can get her..."

"Whoa, you are not bringing Scottie into this!" Harvey said immediately standing and putting up a restraining hand.

"I know you don't want to bring her into this, but she's the only outside counsel who could help..."

"No!" Harvey stated emphatically.

Donna intervened at that point after Harvey harshly dismissed Mike and said, "You of all people should understand. She threatened the woman he loves."

"Well, now he's harrassing someone that I love," Harvey said and followed Mike out of the office.

Donna was stunned. How foolish was I to think that I alone possessed Harvey's heart? First he has a one night stand with Esther and now, of course, he still loves Scottie. How does he love her? Does he love her like he says loves me?

A couple of days later Donna thought she had her answer. It was late and she had been visiting the filing room for the umpteenth time that day looking for anything they could have missed in discovery. As she came down the wide corridor and approached her cubicle, she heard Harvey's voice.

"I just wanted to let you know that I've been seeing someone and I thought that maybe I could call you after all this is over." Harvey's voice was a bit skittish but clear.

The other voice, a woman's voice, whom Donna realized was Scottie said to him in return, "I've been seeing someone, too, after all we went through so I don't know where I'll be when I'm through. But it's always ok to call me."

I knew Scottie still had not forgotten him. I know I wanted them to be together at one time and if he still prefers her and it makes him happy then so be it, but he has to make a decision because I am not playing nursemaid again or come in second because she dumps all over him once again.

Donna turned back toward the file room and ran to hide so upon exiting no one would know she had overheard.

Two days before the end of short lived trial, Harvey decided that Mike had better defend himself. It was a bit late in the game to be changing lawyers but as Mike had so eloquently pointed out to the judge: "I've been here the whole time, Your Honor, acting in my own defense."

The judge had to allow it since it was not against the law to be your own lawyer. It was just odd because Mike and Harvey had fought so hard for Harvey to be the lawyer of record.

Mike had brought to the stand the mother of one of the people that Mike had helped during his time has a false attorney. Mrs. Banks was the mother of Clifford Banks whom Harvey had incarcerated falsely many years before while still an ADA. Harvey had found loopholes and evidence that allowed for Clifford's case to be reopened. Unfortunately, the only job the man could find upon exoneration was to be a dishwasher in a two bit restaurant on the bad side of town.

Mike had not known that the young man had been killed until he went to his house where he had still lived with his mother. Upon knowing what Mike needed, Mrs. Banks had willingly testified of Mike's character and what he had accomplished while an attorney.

Although she was eloquent and genuine in her testimony about how great and real Mike was as their attorney, Harvey and Mike had both retained some doubt themselves at the sympathy of the jury. After court was dismissed, Mike went home with Rachel thinking this may be one of the only nights they might still be together while Harvey did some soul searching of his own and found his way to Donna's apartment.

Luckily Donna had been spending much time alone lately. Between her relationship with Mitchell ending and Harvey wanting to take things slowly where their personal relationship was concerned, Donna spent much time catching up on her TV shows and checking Variety (New York version) for auditions and shows. At the moment with all hands on deck defending Mike, Donna's mind was on nothing but Mike plus its focus sometimes straying to the conversation she had witnessed between Harvey and Scottie.

Just as Donna was heading to bed, her doorbell rang. She looked at the clock on her bookshelf and it blared 11:30 pm. There was only one person who would rouse her this time of night. So she was not surprised when she saw a disheveled Harvey at her door.

"Harvey, it's late. What are you doing here?" Donna asked. I know what he's doing here. He wants to give himself up and let Mike go free. He's wanted to do that since the beginning. That can happen. I can't be without him. I empathize with Rachel. She doesn't want to lose her guy any more than I want to lose mine...if he is still mine. I know this is the last thing we should discuss but if it comes up I need to know where I stand.

"I know you said I couldn't do this anymore, but I had to talk to you," Harvey said dressed in only his overcoat and suit with no tie and a pained expression of doubt and indecision in his beautiful dark brown eyes.

I can never say no to him. No matter what may be in his heart concerning Scottie.

She stood aside and let him enter.

"Do you want a drink?"

"Sure," Harvey said running a hand through his already mussed hair. He had removed his coat and place it on a chair and then proceeded to take a seat at her dining room table.

She's so beautiful. I don't know why I came here except I know she is the only one to hand me shit when I'm doing something stupid. She's also the only one I trust to tell her this from my heart. Well, here goes...

Donna hands Harvey a tumbler full of Scotch. She strove to always have his favorite Macallan 18 on hand. She had poured a tumbler for herself figuring she would need the extra liquid courage to listen to what Harvey had to confess although she knew what it was before he even began speaking.

"Donna..."

"Before you even start, you don't have to do it. I think you should wait for the jury to come back with a verdict. Do you think that the verdict won't find Mike innocent?"

"I don't know, Donna. I can't take that chance."

"Answer me this, Harvey. Why are you coming to me? Last time you had a hard decision to make you went to Dr. Agard and not to me?"

"How do you know about her?" Harvey's head whipped around in her direction as they sat at the dining room table. He was shocked but should not have been that she had discovered his ongoing therapy sessions with the very pretty, competent female psychiatrist.

Donna sat on the chair at the opposite of the table with her knees curled up. One knee was curled under her and the other upwards which she held against her chest with clasped hands. An expression of worry and curiousity exuded from her dark green eyes.

"Is that important? I just do," Donna said.

"Because that was business and this is personal," Harvey explained huffily.

"No you came to me because she wouldn't try to talk you out of what you want to do, and you knew I would."

"Donna..." Harvey said confirming his thoughts that she knew every reason why he had come to her apartment at this late hour.

"Harvey, don't do what I know you want to do. You don't have to fall on sword. You don't have to be the hero again." Donna said with tears in her eyes.

Harvey stood up wondering why she thought he was trying to be a hero. He just wanted to do what he thought was right.

"I'm not doing it to be a hero. We may not win."

"Then why are you doing it!"

"Because it's my goddamn fault!" Harvey barely exclaimed. He could feel the burning of tears in his eyes. He would sacrifice himself for Mike because that was the right thing to do. What was I thinking all those years ago? I should have known better. I should have offered to send him to law school instead of hiring him as a fraud. Then all this would have been moot. Who knows, though, maybe I would still be that free wheeling, non commital, unfeeling lawyer of which I have been accused. Would I have Donna? Could I find the courage to make her my lover and may be my wife one day? I have to do this. Mike should not have to pay for my mistake.

"It's not your fault, Harvey. Mike is just as much to blame as you are. Now you can go down to the court house in the morning and turn yourself in. But I don't want you to do that."

Harvey who had stood up and leaned over the chair in which he had sat raised his bowed head and asked, "Why not?"

"Because you and Mike are worthy of being found innocent and... I don't want to lose you," Donna said softly

Harvey turned to leave. He slowly picked up his coat and turned toward the door. Donna rose from her chair and accompanied him to the door.

As he turned back to look at her with those soulful dark eyes, Donna said, "I want you to go the courthouse in the morning and wait for that jury to come back. Let Mike know you have faith in him...like I have faith in you." Donna's last words came in a choke and she bowed her head.

Harvey turned around and thumbed the tear away. He came closer and put a hand experimentally on the side of her face. He bent down and kissed her on her tear salty lips.

I have missed you, Harvey. Missed your kiss.

"Harvey..." Donna said putting a hand up on his writst to prevent him from touching her further down.

"What? I love you, Donna. I need you," Harvey said holding her face in both hands and putting his forehead against hers.

"I love you, too, Harvey. So, so much, but my heart..." Donna said and pulling on his arm silently pulled him back inside. As the door of the apartment shut tightly, Harvey pulled her to him and kissed her again deeply.

Suddenly, Harvey's heart spilled its emotion aloud and he said between kisses and squeezes alighting the fire in Donna's body once again, "I have missed you, too, Donna. I miss you next to me in the night. I miss the banter and your smile when you think I'm being too egotistical. The way you put me in my place like no other. Mostly the way you love me without me realizing it. I am a stupid man when it comes to you but that is because I know you could do better than me for a lover, husband, boyfriend, lifelong mate...whatever you want me to be!"

In the middle of the kiss that both wanted to go deeper and their hands wanting to explore and rekindle the spots of love that were just beginning to be known to one another, Donna pulled out and opened her eyes.

"Harvey! We have to talk!"

"Donna. Not now. I have missed you so much..." Harvey said kissing her again and finding her pliant. However when his hands locked around her waist and kissed her ear and collarbone and then moved her cowl neck sweater away from her neck and Donna pulled away he knew that she needed to talk before they went much further.

"Harvey. I thought you wanted to focus on Mike." Donna said avoiding the real reason she stopped the wonderful tingly feeling Harvey's kiss and wondering hands had given life to again. She wanted nothing more than to make love to him but that one nagging thought remained in her head.

"What about Scottie?"

Harvey released her and took a step back looking rather perplexed at why Donna would broach the subject of his ex-girlfriend at that moment.

"Scottie? What about her?"

"How do you feel about her? You said the other day when Mike wanted to use her to get to Anita Gibbs you stated that now he was using someone that you loved. Do you still love her? Is our relationship based on what I hoped it was not based? Convenience and proximity? I had my rule and I wanted to be separated from you for just this reason."

"What? A test? A test to see if I could be faithful and loyal in the midst of my ex-girlfriend? Donna, are you jealous?"

"Maybe I am. First you sleep with Esther and then you a few weeks later you tell your ex that you wanted to call her after all this shit was over. What was I to you then? A commodity? Trying to keep your options open in the event that I don't let you fuck me when you were in the mood."

"Donna! No, that's not it! I don't know why I said that to Scottie. I'm done with taking you for granted."

A minute's pause while they looked at one another and the emotional upheaval that still had both their hearts beating faster. It dawned on Harvey that he still did not know if Donna was still available.

"What about Mitchell? Are you still with him? Did you not sleep with him? We were on a break!" Harvey's voice became definitively more sharp and loud as he fought with all his might that this night he did not lose the woman he loved above all others as well has his best friend.

"Yes, I slept with him. I tell you because I want no secrets between us if you want me to be with you again. Mitchell and I broke up because I love you too much to hurt him. Harvey, I hate to do this to you right before the jury's verdict comes in but do you love me like you loved Scottie or do you just want me to be convenient for you. Because I...play...second fiddle...to...no...one!" Donna punctuated the last sentence with long pauses between words before she bowed her head and hid the tears from Harvey while he stood there looking lost.

Harvey rolled his head and then pursed his mouth. How do I make her see? That she is my sun in the morning and moon at night. That she is second fiddle to no one. I make love to her. I don't fuck her as she puts it. That's what I did to Esther. I would never take her for granted. I threw her away and that emptiness taught me that I would never do that again.

Suddenly, seeing her sit on the couch with her eyes streaming and her hands not quite still Harvey kneeled in front of her and seized her face with her hands and looking swiftly into her dark green depths he slammed his lips onto hers and suddenly nothing mattered anymore.

Harvey quickly removed his outer coat as Donna tugged at his clothing. Harvey managed to pull Donna's cowl neck over her head and discard it on the floor while they hurriedly kissed and touched thirstily drinking in what they had not had for a while with each other. They paused for only a second as Harvey shirtless with his trousers unzipped lifted Donna in his arms and carried her newlywed style into Donna's bedroom.

He could smell the scent of the lone vanilla candle burning on the top of her chest of drawers. The scent only increased his memories of her as he lay her down on the bed: the first time he met her, the first time she had made his coffee; the first time they had lain together in this very bed; all the years they had worked together and how grateful he had been only the year before that he saved her from prison. He kissed her and felt her tears at this reunion too long in coming and now, perhaps, too short in length as Harvey was still determined to do what Donna did not want him to do.

Donna in return followed Harvey down that path of memories as he kissed and touched her burning skin with his lips. Her breasts had never felt so large as when Harvey massaged them and administered to every part of her body. She, in turn, had never touched another man as she had touched him. Her hands were everywhere as she ran her hand between them under his boxers feeling his warmth and his readiness. She never wanted to touch a man like this either. She had but not with the same love and want that she did with Harvey. When he lay on top of her they turned over on her bed so as to have Harvey lay under her. She noticed the tiny flushed color of his skin and the swell of his lips.

"Listen, Specter, I love you. If you decide to leave me tomorrow, I will never forgive you." She punctuated her short sentence with a final tug on his trousers and then a quick stripping of his boxers where her reward stood erect, pulsating and waiting for her.

Breathlessly, Harvey beckoned for Donna to come to him and give him some release.

As Donna came to him and motioned to stride him, he turned the corners again and quickly removed her panties. He had situated himself between her widely open legs. He gave her a devilish grin and a kiss on her sex.

"I won't forgive myself," he responded and began to lubricate her already wet vaginal lips as she tugged on his hair and moaned.

They both were spiraling on this their physical reunion. Harvey finished licking her wet labia and rose to love her thoroughly and kissed away a tear that had landed between her considerable breasts.

"Ah..." Donna moaned writhing beneath Harvey positioning her hips anticipating his next move.

"Oooo," she breathed in as Harvey entered her. She grabbed the sheets tightly and gripped Harvey's hips between her thighs.

"Ah...," Harvey moaned as he almost came thrusting gently and swiftly looking into her eyes momentarily.

"Donna...uh...honey...," Harvey said. "Ah..." He eyes squeezed shut temporarily with his pleasure and he breathed in and eventually their rhythm caused Harvey to cum spectaularly spilling his seed into her.

Donna had cried his name aloud as she could no longer hold on herself and her body felt so flushed, warmed, and loved as it had not since the last time they had made love many months ago.

This feeling was what was missing when I slept with other men even when I had sex with Mitchell. This overflowing tide feeling of what heaven must be like.

Harvey collapsed finally coming to lay on top of Donna partially. He was still partially inside her warmth and was reluctant to leave. He lay his head beside hers and forced her eyes to look at him. When she turned her head slightly to look at him, Harvey saw a look of such sublime love that Harvey could not help kiss her again. He felt a few tears himself. He knew he was home

I love you, Donna. Please know this. I never felt like this with any other woman. Only you.

"Only you," Harvey whispered into Donna's neck as he held her tightly.

Donna smiled through happy tears feeling euphoric pulling Harvey on top of her again and feeling his member start to harden again. However, the little nag in the back of her mind whispering Scottie's name had still not disappeared even with the fierceness and thoroughness of their lovemaking. She quickly dismissed her feeling of insecurity as she felt again Harvey's desire began to make him move ever so slightly within her. She could feel him grip her more swiftly and tightly whispering those words over and over again.

Her answer was to speak into his hair and say "Only you, too."