~~~Chapter 9: All Fixed?~~~
(AN: Why must Lucy ask so many why's? You know the expression the calm before the storm? Well, the slow going of last chapter should get you hyped up for this baby, so stop readin' me and get to the chapter already! :D ~Dragon)
"Is it really just us six that sit together in the future or are there new members with us?" Levy questioned the duo of Gray and Juvia.
"There is Lily, Happy, and a plus one, but just us for the most part. Unless Lisanna or Erza or Wendy and Carla join us," Gray answered. "It was never made clear, but I think we set up a new team of us six. Not too sure what happened to Wendy and Carla if we actually did split up our team with Erza."
"What about Team Shadowgear?" Lily asked.
"Probably Jet and Droy stayed together, just Levy joined us," Gray replied, unsure himself.
Gajeel then inquired, "Why'd we get paired up, then? Since you obviously broke your teams to become one."
Juvia returned, sensing Gray's hesitance of the probably unknown information, "Well, Juvia wanted to be on Gray-sama's team. Natsu-san and Lucy-chan wouldn't break up their team and Erza-san wanted to partner up with someone else. Juvia wanted Gajeel-kun to join her, and Lucy-chan didn't want him to join unless Levy-san did. Juvia guesses that Wendy-san thought it best to go solo or partner up with Romeo-san. So that leaves us six left together."
Levy nodded, "Sounds about right."
"Lucy…" Natsu finally said something, making me jump as he was looking at me with those cold eyes.
"Yeah?" the table went quiet as I answered him.
"Can we talk?" he asked, getting up from his seat.
"Yeah," was all that I could say, getting up myself to get ready to follow him to talk alone.
Natsu ordered Happy to stay put and the cat did as told, plopping his butt down on the table and crossing his arms. As we passed to go into the library like before to talk in private, I noticed Gray and Juvia mouth a 'Good lucy'. Levy gave a thumbs up, trying to encourage me so that I could stop shaking in nervousness. It didn't work so well.
The door to the library slammed shut with a loud 'Boom' compared to the silence that followed. Neither of us knew how to start, let alone what to say. We both looked to the floor, but seemed to stand our ground equally. He was just as tensed up as before, but I guess I could say that I was no better. The anxiety was killing me as to what he would say.
"I'm not good at this kinda thing, Luce," he said, his voice rough. After a deep breath, he continued, "Gray and I had a chat on the job 'bout this. He said that I couldn't call off our partnership because of one thing. Well, let's just say that he said alotta things. But he's right that we gotta talk 'bout it."
I took in his words and responded, "I never wanted to hurt you, Natsu. You're my partner, my best friend. I would never try to hurt you."
He sighed, still avoiding eye contact, "But you did."
I gulped but continued, "I didn't know that a kiss meant so much to you, Natsu. I didn't know anything about that beforehand. You could have told me the night before."
"And you could have told me that you never had your first kiss," he returned.
"Yeah, I guess. It wasn't good communication on either side," I sighed.
Maybe we could call it truce? I didn't want to fight with him anymore about this. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already did. I just wanted him to be my best friend again… My Natsu again.
His voice came small and quiet but it stressed, "Maybe we can be partners again, but I don't wanna deal with that again."
It broke my heart hearing that come from him, towards me. How could someone always full of joy and enthusiasm sound so… Broken? How could I cause that? I felt my lips tremble and tears fight to spill, but I wouldn't let them.
"Of course we can, Natsu," I nearly begged with a quaking voice myself. "I don't want to fight with you. I don't want to hurt you."
"Sorry about not talking to you before getting mad," he replied.
"Hey, it's fine. I'm sorry for being so defensive about it. My first kiss or not, I should have told you," I responded.
His face changed to confusion as he asked, "So, why didn't you?"
I blinked, "I just, don't want to kiss someone. I wouldn't have kissed Gray, or anyone…"
I screwed up again. Me and my big mouth. Why did I bring Gray into this? If Juvia hears about this, she'll kick my ass for sure. I couldn't tell him even though he asked me… Why do I keep doing this?
There was a flicker of anger in his eyes as he shouted, "Well, I'm not Gray!"
I returned, "I never said you were!"
"Am I not good enough for Lucy Heartfilia?!" Natsu sneered with so much venom in his voice saying my last name that it sent chills go down my spine.
"I never said that," I replied, too shocked that he'd say such a thing to meet his tone.
"Then why won't you 'waste' a kiss on me?!" he demanded.
I retorted, "Well maybe I don't want to be like everyone else! How many girls have you kissed now?!"
Natsu snorted back, "That doesn't matter, Lucy! Who cares about them?!"
He was taking this so far. Inching his face in mine as he stood over me. Leering over me, making me back up a step and lose most of my ground. I was left in defense, scared of what he could do to me if I pushed him in the wrong direction. He wasn't on fire, but his blazing eyes that bore into mine were intimidating enough as it was.
I had to tell him. I knew that since Juvia asked me… But… Words are weird and don't work for me. I can't come out and say what I want to say. It's why I don't like it when people read my story because I don't trust that I wrote what I was trying to get down on paper. This is Natsu, for God's sake. He isn't good with words either!
So what if he wasn't perfect. Nobody was. Who cares that every girl I know kissed him? Okay, I do care, but that doesn't mean that it should get in the way of anything. Natsu had never failed to make me smile, so how could I do nothing but the opposite to him? I brought trouble after trouble, fight after fight, and the least I could do was give him something he wants in return for all he does for me.
Adrenaline rushed through me as I regained my stance with new determination. I couldn't hurt him, not ever again. As if reacting on impulse, I stepped back forward which sent him backing up a step. One hand grabbed his shoulder as the other pulled at the back of his head, shoving him forward so our faces could meet. My lips found his to share my first kiss. It didn't last long before I pulled back away.
Actions speak louder than words, right? To say what I want to say without really saying it. To tell him that I care about him so much, but just can't tell him. How I've been scared about what would happen if I let myself care for him in such a way. Now, Lucy Heartfilia shared her first kiss with Natsu Dragneel.
Natsu stood in shock with wide eyes; his mouth gaping like a fish as he couldn't form words. I began instead by saying, "It wasn't just because it was my first kiss, I'll admit that. I just, didn't want anything between us to change because of it. I didn't want to kiss someone unless they liked me in the same way that I liked them. I truly didn't want to hurt you, Natsu. And, I shouldn't have said what I said back then. I should have told you sooner."
"Lucy…" he gawked, but nothing followed. I didn't dare look him in the face any longer.
"It's fine if you don't want to be a team anymore, but I don't want us to part on bad terms like that," I continued.
"Lucy…" he called again.
"Just, please forgive me!" I whinned.
"Lucy," his voice sounded more sharp and my eyes raised to realize that he had a firmer look on his face, though a tear stream on one of his cheeks said otherwise.
I muttered, looking back down ashamed, "I hurt you again, didn't I?"
He took my shoulders securely in his strong hands and I looked back at him as he said, "No, that's not true at all. Just, why'd ya do it?"
I looked puzzled and asked, "What do you mean?"
He clarified, "Why'd ya kiss me?"
"You're my best friend, Natsu," I replied, a tear or two streamed down my face. "You were hurt because I didn't kiss you, so I did. I care about you, Natsu."
I did it. I actually confessed to him. Gods, am I embarrassed?! But, I did the right thing. Things between us were already changing, I see that now. If he took me seriously or just wants to be friends, that's his decision to make and I had to respect it. Change is inevitable, I guess. Though it's the one thing that is the most terrifying.
His hands slid down my arms lightly as he had loosened his grip. His eyes softened so much compared to before that it was almost like he was a new person. We were both shaking, crying at what just transpired between us. His hands tightened around my arms again and I feared that he didn't want a confession out of me. I closed my eyes in fear of the worst, waiting for his could have prepared me for when our lips met again. That time, my eyes grew wide in surprise.
He was about to pull back away, but my hands found his hair on the back of his head and pulled him back to me. My eyes shut to reciprocate the kiss. It wasn't magical. It wasn't much special like one would believe. There were no fireworks in the background or some kind of explosion of romantic items. But the contact felt good. His lips warm against mine. It was nice.
"Sorry," Natsu sighed after we released.
"For what?" I asked.
"Making such a big deal outta it. I'm sorry. I hurt you in return, and that wasn't right of me," he answered.
"We're cool now, right?" I replied.
He smiled and returned, "Yeah."
I smiled back, "Then that's all that matters."
(AN: Thanks to the following people: TheDorkyCelestialFlame, xXYuseiXAkikoXx, Crimsonlink301, MarSofTheGalaxies, OgaxHilda, San280590, mketcham3.)