MAY 2011

MAY 5th

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Today Happy made me write out a page long paper on the holiday as part of my 'final'. Jane emailed me a twenty-dollar Amazon gift card as an early birthday present. She said those weird weather activity things are acting up. I told her to keep me updated. Dad's been busy in the Lab for the past few weeks. That's all I really have at the moment, we're not due to return to the Expo for a few more weeks. I'm going to go and try and finish Smallville. I know, it's really cheesy but I made it through season six, so I guess that means I can make it through anything right?

MAY 8th

According to the state of California, I have officially graduated from elementary school! Dad said he was so proud of me! He made me dress up in a robe and cap and he took several pictures outside of my old elementary school, you know to make it look official. He actually found Ms. Lewis and made her take pictures of us together. Dad asked if she wanted to get for a picture and she told him to F off and I giggled.

We went out for lunch. I had a salad, which surprised Dad, mainly because he knows how hard it is to get me to eat vegetables. I told him I wanted to try something new. He said now that I'm in middle school; I should look into making friends my age, not just him and Happy. I told him he was my best friend and he said he wouldn't be around forever. He's been saying a lot of stuff like that.

Ugh, adults.

Oh! My boxing lessons with Happy have been going real great, so much so that now Dad is having Happy teach him. We practice at least once a day, save for Sundays, because that's Happy's day off. Happy says I need to be careful because of my previous wrist injury but I'm doing better!

I haven't seen Pepper in forever but Dad said it was because she was taking this running the company very serious. Dad said he was going to take me to Paris this summer; he couldn't wait for me to be sixteen. He's actually talking about expanding it to all of Europe, because as he puts it, 'your mother took away Paris but not the rest of Europe."

MAY 11th

Jane texted me and told me she's recently contacted her mentor to come look at the sky in New Mexico with her. She wants to figure out the factors in the weather activity. I think she might be onto something!

Also there was another bust of activity in Brazil. I tried to show it to Dad but he was on the phone the entire day to... I don't know. I tried to show it to Happy but Happy had to drive Dad to the store, but I wasn't allowed to go with them. Something interesting, I relooked over the footage and it seemed like they were American soldiers. Rhody told me that there had been chatter within 'his channels' that Thaddeus Ross was intent on tracking something down.

I asked if it had to with Bruce Banner and he told me that he didn't know, but that Ross was always considered 'slightly off' since Banner's accident. Rhody said I shouldn't worry about it, that I'm a kid and I should worry about other stuff. I tried watching some Smallville to take my mind off of it but I couldn't. What was Banner doing around Gamma Rays to begin with?

MAY 16th

Today's my birthday! I am now eleven years old. Dad woke me up around nine and made me orange juice and an omlette. It reminded me of when I was in the hospital when I was little, he used to sneak me in burgers and fries and lay it out like it was a proper meal and speak in a French accent. He was trying to distract me from how seriously sick I was, now that I think about it.

I asked Dad if he wanted to tell me anything and he got real quiet again and just said his arc reactor had been acting up but he was really fine and perfect again and he had it under control. I told him he wasn't perfect and he said he knew, but that I was.

We had another driving lesson today. I drove him down to the liquor store that's about a mile from the house. I couldn't really see over the steering wheel but he said I'd one day be able too.

Happy said it was reckless of him to do that but then Dad had to go off and do something Iron Man related. Happy's taking me to see Rio, the movie about the talking birds. It's really the only thing worth seeing at the moment. I tried calling Pepper because I wanted to see the movie with her but she said she was really busy. Happy says it's time to get ready, so I'm off.

MAY 20th

So get this: for fun I googled Bruce Banner and Jarvis pulled up a couple imagines of him walking around Rio (cute movie but really cheesy. Happy liked it), like near the areas where those Hulk-activities have happened. I think he's been there in Rio for some time I'm not sure how long he was there. I wanted to look more at it, but I had to stop because Pepper came over.

Yes, the elusive Pepper stopped by to drop off some paperwork for Dad; she got me a really nice Stark Industries sweatshirt. It's a size too big but she says I'll grow into it. Okay Pepper ;)

Dad came downstairs and talked with Pepper says his present is taking me to Monaco! He used to go often but we haven't gone since I was eight. We have a car that races in the Grand Prix out there. I don't really know why but Dad likes cars so I guess it makes sense. Oh well, I need to start packing then.

MAY 22nd

Okay so today after my lesson with Happy, Dad came out of his lab and decided to train, which surprised Happy because dad hasn't had any lesson's in like a week, because he's been working in his lab. So Dad and Happy were training and Pepper walked in with this very pretty lady. She's apparently dad's new assistant named Natalie Rushman, which sounds fake, but okay let's go with it. Pepper told me to keep an eye on her, because 'I'm afraid your dad will try to charm her.' Happy uses a different word when he's referring to women Dad wants to sleep with, but it's the F word, and I'm not allowed to say that.

You know the sad part, is I sort of wish Pepper and Dad would get together, because I think they would be perfect.

But anyway so this girl, Natalie, she has the bluest eyes and perfect teeth and this very nicely styled red hair and I told Dad I wanted to have red hair and he said maybe. She was super nice, she said we would be best friends. Dad pulled up some pictures of her where she's in her underwear and Pepper saw me looking at them and told me it wasn't appropriate but then Natalie apparently did this really cool move where she pulled her legs around Happy's shoulders and pulled him to the ground. Happy says that could of broken his neck but it didn't. It just shows you don't mess with her. As soon as she left Dad turned to Pepper and said 'I want one' and Pepper was like 'no.'

Dad's back in the lab. I texted him and asked if he wanted any food but he hasn't responded. I left him a smoothie by the door of his lab. Phil apparently sent me a Amazon gift card as well. I guess I'm getting to that age where no one knows what to get me so they get me gift cards instead. I actually wanted socks. Unicorn socks.

MAY 23rd

We flew to Monaco today. Dad and Pepper were having serious talks about the future of the company (Pepper wanted to know why did he transfer it over and Dad was being his usual self), Happy was busy sleeping and so it was just me, sitting in the back of the plane watching Smallville on the little DVD player Dad had put in for me. Well until Nat came over and sat next to me. At first she said that it was because Dad wanted to know 'if I was watching porn'. She looked over my screen and she went, 'Ah.' ( I think she assumed that I had a crush on Tom Welling. Never. Oliver Queen for life) Nat got quiet for a moment before telling me Pepper had approached her before going on the trip. Something about Pepper being worried I was getting depressed due to her not being around and Dad not being around either.

If this is Pepper's attempt at getting me to make friends outside of Happy and Dad it's not a great attempt but okay, I'll go along with it.

. Nat was very quiet but I managed to learn a few facts:

· -She speaks several languages like Russian, Latin (!), French, among others. She said she would be willing to teach me any of these.

· Apparently my attempts at speaking German were, according to Nat, 'cute'.

· I told her I only knew German because where The Farm is, despite living in the states, it's touch and go in terms of speaking English. Opa is terrible at speaking it so he doesn't but Oma prefers German.

· She says that explains a lot of stuff about me.

· -She refers to her modeling years as 'lost years'

· She was born overseas but won't say where. I asked if she was born in Budapest and she quickly changed the subject.

· -She knows a guy name Clint who would be willing to teach me archery because "you seem like you would be perfect at archery.'

· She reminds me of Phil in a way. She told me she knew him! I asked how and she said 'through her old boss' and that Phil apparently talks very highly of me. He said I was very bright for a ten year old.

· She sang me 'happy birthday' in Russian and I told her she was very good at it. S

The way she reminds me of Phil is that she seems so relatable and even though I have only know her for a few days, it felt like she had always been there like Dad.

Speaking of, Mom's forgotten. Again. I tried to call her, but only got her voicemail. Nat looked up her twitter feed and apparently Mom hasn't moved to Tokyo but rather London because she wants to restart her recording career.

Nat told me I'm very lucky to have an attentive father.

We're now in Monaco. It's late. Dad's on his computer, I can see the light coming from the crack in the door. He's busying typing onto his laptop. I stood at the door and cleared my throat a few times but he's really focused.

Time for bed.

MAY 26th

OH

MY

GOD!

Okay to start off, I woke up around six, and I went and found Dad. He had fallen asleep in his clothes. I crawled next to him to shake him as to wake him up and he moaned and then i saw his arc. His neck veins, they've gotten this dark blue, it's really scary looking. I don't think he's doing okay. I heard him start to stir and I pretended to have fallen asleep next to him, despite it being really warm in the room he went and put on the robe, like to cover up his neck. I'm not sure why. Is he sick and he's trying to hide it from me? Dad 'woke' me up and was like, 'why are you in my bed instead of yours.'

I lied. Probably for the first time in my life I lied and I told him I had a nightmare that he died and left me all alone and Dad just hugged me. "You're never going to be alone" was his exact words. Room service came and suddenly Dad was Tony Stark, who makes snarky comments and tips really good. Neither of us were really hungry, it's probably the first time I've ever looked at pancakes and didn't want to eat them. Dad attempted to draw a smiley face on it like he does at home but even then I could only muster a few bites. Happy came in to inform us it was time to get ready and even when I went into my room to change.

Natalie apparently picked out a really nice dress for me. It was a nice black short sleeve dress that ended just above my knees. Happy brought in 'kitty heels or whatever Pepper calls 'em' for me to wear, so I wore those. I shaved under my arms for the first time today as well. I felt naked. Dad said I looked very grown up, and even Pepper said I looked like a "Stark in the making." Which is a weird thing to say.

So then, we go to a really nice restaurant, the Hotel de Paris, to watch the race, because Pepper said so. Dad and Pepper were just bickering at each other, even when they went to go get drinks. I went with them because Dad almost always gets me a Shirley Temple, and Shirley Temples HURT my stomach. I go to tell dad and JUSTIN HAMMER SHOWS UP

Oh and apparently he's dating Vanity Fair lady now, who knew?

Justin remembered me and said I looked really grown up and asked if I was sixteen. Dad was like...super chill and it didn't look like it bothered him even though it should have, according to Pepper later. It was really awkward standing there, because they were all making like passive aggressive comments to each other. Like they were being really mean but they were smiling and laughing when they said the comments.

Ugh, adults.

So then, we get the notice that the race is about to start and so Pepper and I go to the table where Nat is sitting. Pepper was attempting to explain to me why we're here, and we finally get our drinks (I had to make due with Coke, they don't serve Doctor Pepper overseas, apparently) and Dad disappears. I think he has to go use the restroom. I'm sort of zoning out when suddenly DAD'S IN THE RACE

I asked Pepper if that was legal and she said she didn't know. We keep watching, because that's all you can do. I notice even Justin Hammer is, impressed? Well then this guy walks onto the track, and he starts uses

So that went for a while and suddenly this guy like appears and he slashes dad's car and like a couple of other cars open with these whips, that are basically electromagnetic pulses. The only way he was able to use them was by wearing this exoskeleton which he wore under an orange jumpsuit, the top part burnt off like instantly. He's basically a walking comic book villain ha-ha.

That's when Happy and Pepper pull me out and we run out to the car that we had waiting for us (apparently when you make as much as dad, there's always a car waiting for you) and Happy just punches it. I didn't realize Dad made him handcuff a briefcase that's Iron Man colored to his hand. I'm in the front seat and I had to help Happy dig for the key to the briefcase, because Pepper was having a freak out. That's the only way I can describe it.

Also, did I mention that the grand prix is going on, or at least attempting to go on, and this is being broadcast ACROSS THE WORLD.

Well so we get onto the track and we hit the guy with the whips. He's very ugly looking and I noticed…he was wearing a Arc. The arc was powering up the whips! Of course, I don't get a chance to say it, because Happy keeps attempting to run over the guy. Pepper and Happy are yelling at Dad to get into the car, and Dad almost does, and just when he does, the one time Happy wasn't busy running over the guy, THE GUY USES THE WHIP TO SLICE THE BACKDOOR IN HALF. At which point he starts yelling at Pepper to throw him the suitcase and Pepper is freaking out, because the whips.

And dad put it on and he FOUGHT HIM AND WON BY TEARING OUT THE ARC REACTOR FROM THE GUY'S EXOSKELTON. The police came and pulled Ivan away, not before he spit blood towards Dad and laughed. Dad and I had to be treated for minor injuries, mine because at one point Happy hit the guy so hard that the airbags went off and Pepper was worried my 'dazed' look. Also I got a small cut on my forehead. The EMT said it wasn't deep enough for stitches or skin glue, so I'm going to have a little scar now. Dad didn't get to hear that, he went to talk with the guy who attacked us.

Apparently his name is Ivan. His dad used to work for Grandpa. Something went down between them and Grandpa basically kicked him back to Russia. That's all Dad will tell me about the meeting between the two of them. I asked Happy if I was crazy that something else might have happen during the meeting and Happy told me I shouldn't worry about that kind of stuff.

Dad and Pepper had a big really talk on the plane ride back, from what I gathered it was about the meeting between Dad and Ivan. When I woke up I approached dad and I asked about the arc and Dad...Dad yelled at me. He was like "I had a stressful day and I don't need your questions now!"

I went back to my seat and I turned on my headphones and turned on Gladiator. It's about a guy who is left for dead and becomes a gladiator and kicks those who betrayed him ass. It's basically dad, but in ancient Rome. Dad basically sat in his chair, thinking. At one point he got up and he almost walked over to where I was, but then he went and poured a drink instead.

I broke my record of not speaking to him. As soon as we got home I went straight to my room and when I got up the next day he was already in his lab. We haven't spoken since. The news is only talking about Iron Man. That stupid senator keeps being interviewed. I had to turn it off because it was depressing. No word on Banner, I hope he's okay.

MAY 28TH

Dad spoke with Rhody about the suits. Rhody wanted him to turn it over but dad said no. Dad and I looked at each other, but I left the room before I gave him a chance to speak with me. I'm catching up on Smallville, just reached season nine.

MAY 29th

So Dad's throwing a badass birthday party. Or at least attempting too, but all he's really doing is hitting on people. It's just starting I'll join it in a little while. We'll see how it goes.

Oh Mom called. She said Dad called and told her I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SEE HER THIS SUMMER. She said Oma and Opa are really happy to see me. But I told her that was impossible, Dad was going to take me through Europe and she said he said he told her I would be more than happy to stay with her FOR A MONTH OR MORE. She even mentioned something about perhaps me living with her on a full time basis. Here in Malibu of course, but still.

NO JUST...UGH NO!

MAY 30th

So here's what happened:

After writing in you I walked downstairs and I pulled Dad over I did pull Dad over and I asked him about living with Mom. He told me I should be lucky to have a mother and that he would always love me but that perhaps I should consider the possibility of living with her. I was confused. What about Pepper or Rhody?

Dad said Pepper was too busy and Rhody, being Rhody, would feel like he would have to retire in order to care for me, and that besides, it was Mom getting really excited to see me. "You see that shows your Mom does love you!" he patted me on the head and told me he loved me, because I was his "baby girl," and…I guess I was still mad about everything at this point, so I told him it didn't seem like that and I stormed off. I went and I made myself a drink, like the type Dad usually drinks.

It's called scotch, and it burned. Pepper found me in my coughing fit and she was like, "Didn't last summer teach you anything?" and somehow she found a soda for me and then she got distracted and left for a few moments. That's when I saw them. I saw Natalie and Dad playing with his iron man equipment. and for a second, I thought 'this is why he wants to get rid of me. So that he can be a happy go lucky single dude. He doesn't want a annoying little kid around.' '

I got distracted for a while, but then Rhody showed up in a different Iron man suit and yelled at everyone to leave, because he probably thought dad was drunk (he was) and that he was making a fool of himself in front of everyone (very). He and Dad started fighting and Pepper confronted Natalie, apparently she's thinking Natalie is only here to seduce Dad and she started yelling at Natalie but then the fight came back up to the first floor and Happy got Pepper out of the way and somehow Natalie pulled me out of the way. We made our way downstairs, until we found Dad's lab. She asked me if I could open it and part of me felt really bad breaking into it (dad hasn't changed his password in forever) but at the same time I was still really mad at him so I didn't care. Nat said, 'good girl,' when she asked if I could access the databases. While accessing the databases (note: the folder labeled 'Tax Returns 2008-2009 is not database related material. The folder labeled 'BISEXUAL BUSTY BLONDES" is) Natasha's phone was ringing and IT'S NICK FURY. Remember how she knew Phil? I thought she meant from like, Spin class.

So yes, she's been working with Nick the entire time she said she was working for Dad. Her name isn't even Natalie, it's Natasha. I didn't tell her I thought Natalie Rushman was fake. I mean, I know I'm only eleven but I can tell when something's BS.

I did ask her upfront if she liked Dad in a romantic way.

Natasha just looked at me and quietly explained she is in no way trying to 'do' Dad, she's trying to help me. She was giving me a chance to help me help my Dad, but if I didn't want too, she could handle on her own. "But you do want to help your Dad, no?" I said yes and she said, "good girl" and told me to get to work. After I found the databases for her she asked me to pull up the arc reactor, and that's when we discovered why Dad's been in his lab the entire time. There's this material in the Arc reactor, known as Palladium, right? Well it's just one of the many things that

So apparently there's this material in the arc reactor known as Palladium. It's one of the many things that keeps the Arc going. There's a tiny side effect where too long exposure to said Palladium can cause toxicity in the blood. .

I saw all of it. All the testing (he's been testing his blood every few hours for months!) all the tests he's run, all the possible solutions in order to stop the toxicity. He ran a sample a few hours before the party and I just needed to know.

"Jarvis, how long could someone survive with this much in the blood stream?" I asked.

"According to my calculations, Mister Stark would only last a few more days before the toxicity levels in his blood reached critical level and his organs will completely shut down."

I don't remember what happened next. Natalie said I began crying, which is normal, but then she had to sedate me once the hypervenating started. When I came too, Nick was looking at me. First, Nick gave me a banana, because he said my blood level was too low and that's probably why I started crying. I asked him if he was going to help Dad, and he said he was going to try, but first, he needed to know where Dad had gone and I apparently had a better idea than either Happy or Pepper (who were both too busy dealing with the PR disaster than was Dad's 41st birthday)

Sometimes when Dad gets upset or hung-over or both, he goes to Randy's Donuts. It's a LA landmark, but it takes like FOREVER to get there, so that's why Dad likes it. If he's angry, the drive to and from gives him enough time to sober up/cool off.

Nick drove, Natasha telling us that she would meet us there. We didn't really talk on the way.

Sure enough, we pulled up, and there's Dad, sitting in the donut, clearly hung-over, eating donuts. I'm not sure if he's paid for them or they just gave it to him because he's Iron Man.

Nick and I walked out, and Nick yelled at Dad to get out of the donut, while I waved to him and said hi and he looked down at us and he sort of…cursed when he realized I was with Nick.

We went inside and got a table, Nick got some coffee for him and Dad and handed me an orange juice. I asked if I owed him anything and he said, "never bring this up again." After like five minutes Dad came lumbering in with a really bad hangover. Basically what happened was Nick was lecturing Dad about his behavior and Dad was being dad in that regard. He called the Avengers Initiative "a super secret boy band." He then looked at me and was like,

Natalie showed up in this black leather jumpsuit, which seems like it takes forever to get into. Dad said she was fired but she said it wasn't up to him.

Nick asked about the Palladium and Dad was very snappy, like a crab. Had I given the responses like he did, I would have been grounded for a month. I said this aloud and Nick chuckled under his breath. Natasha didn't laugh, but I think she's been trained not too.

Dad said he had tried everything but then Natalie gave him a shot of something, which would relive the symptoms. I think SHIELD developed it but Nick attributed to me. Dad like pulled his sunglasses all the way down to the edge of his nose and was like 'really?' And I just looked at him like 'yes.' Nick made a comment how if I was able to figure out how to delay the symptoms, maybe there would be some hope left for him for curing himself. Nick then had Natasha escort Dad to a van that was waiting for him. I asked Nick why he lied about the serum. He said sometimes people need a little push. The ends justify the means, apparently.

Now, Dad's in his lab, working. He's under basic house arrest. I managed to find the picture of him and me from my class's Christmas party last year and I put it down there in his lab to help 'motivate' him. Oh! I even saw Phil today. He came by when Natasha and Nick dropped off a briefcase that belonged to Grandpa. He handed me a pair of those knee-high unicorn socks I've been wanting!

I called Pepper and Happy; let them know I was okay. They asked about Dad and I told him he had had just a massive hangover but that SHEILD was now taking care of things. I made up a lie and said that a Captain America related thing was found by a partygoer and that it could lead to Captain America's body actually being found, and the worst part was they bought it? Happy was ready to escort me 'anywhere' and I told him I didn't need protection, that I just needed to be with Dad. Mom called and I didn't want to speak with her so I just handed the phone to Phil and just said, 'it's my Mom.' Helping Dad look for some tools distracted me and after like five minutes Phil handed the phone back to me, smiled, and went on his way.

Dad and I also finally talked. I told him I was a willing to help out, and that I had forgiven him for attempting to push me away like he did.

We're currently going through the stuff Nick left Dad. Apparently Grandpa, through working through Shield (apparently Dad was surprised that I already knew this) had left Nick plans for like a new element? Like whaaatt?

Getting sleepy. Going to help dad with setting up a projector. Then who knows what the night will bring.

Bo: I'm watching outtakes of my Dad's introduction for the 1974 Expo. I've never seen this footage before.

Bo- 'you are my greatest creation.'- Howard Stark aka my old man.

I didn't have the greatest Dad, so this being a Dad thing is a work in progress for me. In hindsight, not telling you about my illness was my weird ass attempt trying to shield you from being hurt. I know this last year has been rough, for both of us. Thanks for having my back.

Love you Bo,

Dad 3

MAY 31st

Flying to New York right now as we speak. Here's what happen so far today:

· Dad went and visited Pepper. He accidently brought her strawberries; because he's seen her buy them so many times but it turns out she's allergic. She's only bought them for me, because she knows how much I love them.

· Justin Hammer of all people is going to present at the Stark Expo tonight.

· Dad's working in his lab, trying to figure out Grandpa's notes.

Pepper is more stressed then usual. She's made like eighty calls within the last two hours. Phil called; he says he's being reassigned to New Mexico. Something about Jane Foster. I hope she's okay, she hasn't responded to any of my texts.

Apparently one of the reasons why I'm going to this expo instead of Dad is because Pepper signed me up for this STEM type program. It's supposed to get girls my age interested in math and sciences. I told her I would do it on the condition of if I got to interview her and Dad. 'Together?'

'Maybe.'

I said it doesn't have to be together but I wanted to at least interview Dad. I told her because I know I have been protected from the press for a long time, like every time Dad got interviewed for a magazine or something they couldn't describe my face or that time Oprah came to the house, Happy had to physically keep me out of the house for like six hours. It's only been in the last year that I've been in the spotlight. Like that interview I gave last August? Pepper said Dad would have normally thrown a fit had I been allowed on TV without his permission. But because of him being kidnapped and being held captive, he didn't really have a choice in the matter. We're about to land. Talk soon :)