A/N:- Here we are then, a little glimpse into Bella's head xx AAP

Bella

I was both excited but scared, my mind was not somewhere I ever expected to allow other people into, especially since I knew it was shielded by me for exactly that reason. Charlie laughingly told me to embrace my inner Renee, that I had to be open to the possibility that anything could happen if I wanted it too. So it was decided that Jasper would put me to sleep rather than me being drugged and then the ritual would be performed by Old Quill, allowing both him and Seth as his wolf to enter my dream state. I was told to think about a safe place that I would allow them to be in and try to hold on to it, but also to envision my own mind, how I would store my memories and information, as I was being put asleep by Jasper.

The desert scene before me was most definitely Arizona, the colours and hues that could only be found there soothed me as I sat staring out at the vista, around me were boxes of all shapes and sizes, each labelled with either a name or a place and some were even emotions. Directly behind me was the largest box, which I was leaning against, then they ranged out getting smaller and smaller, nothing was directly in front of me and I could see on the horizon two figures approaching, one man and one wolf. As I waited for them to arrive I glanced left and then right to see three more largish boxes, two on the left, one on the right, labelled Garrett, Charlie and Renee.

The boxes glowed and pulsed, Garrett's sparkled, Charlie's was the colour of his uniform, but Renee's it changed constantly, never settling for a moment just like her. But it was the shapes that amused me, Charlie's was his Cruiser, Garrett's was a soldier's kitbag, Renee's a Rubix cube, that confused me momentarily until I realised it was meant to represent the many permutations that made my mother who she was. I could see Carlisle's doctor's bag, Phil's baseball catcher's mitt, Alice's crystal ball, Edward's thought bubble and they all represented the owner well. I peeked in a few as my two visitors came closer.

I saw a little mud pie off to one side and knew this had been Jake the boy I once saw as a good friend. As I stood I realised the box I was leaning on was actually clear, but it was around me, I wasn't leaning on it I was in it, this had to be my shield. As the two reached me the wolf rubbed up against me, but rather than enter my box it just adjusted its self to fit closer to my body, becoming fluid. Old Quill nodded and bid me sit once more, he asked about several of the boxes and I explained who they represented, pointing to one way in the back that was a little Shaman hut I'd seen in a movie once, he nodded understanding this was him.

He said he could see my shield around me and that it was the only thing that appeared to not have a box of its own and he suggested I shape one for it, I told him I was originally in it and it was box shaped. "Let it go, Isabella, you control it not it controlling you, put it in its box and free your mind," he told me, I thought hard and an old fashioned shield flickered in front of me but disappeared quickly. We talked for some time about irrelevant things before he once again told me to put away the shield. "It is not a solid object like the box Isabella, it is liquid, therefore pour it into your new box!" This time, the box stayed before me and I saw the shimmer as it poured from around me into the box, I felt naked for a moment, then realised that a tiny veil like object was around the upper part of my head.

Old Quill laughed quietly, but nodded saying "You will not allow yourself to ever be unprotected and that's alright, now put your hand in the box, feel the shield, manipulate it" I felt almost silly as I pulled and stretched my shield, then squeezed it into a tiny ball, it was like playing with a soap bubble that couldn't burst. "Now I want you to cover the box that represents your father, Seth will tell us if those watching over us see or feel a difference!" the shaman told me and I scooped it out of the box throwing over Charlie's cruiser, moments later Seth lifted his head and nodded, "Try another!" so I covered Garrett's kitbag and again Seth nodded.

I did this over and over, then in two's and three's, "Okay Isabella, it's time for me and Seth to leave you, but before I do, you need to look around you and find those boxes that you are shielding from yourself, these are your personal demons! You will have to address them if you ever want to be fully in charge of your own mind, but they are not for other to see, this you must do alone!" Old Quill said as he got to his feet, "Do you wish to do that now?" I shook my head no, "Then I will tell the warrior to awaken you on my return" and they walked away back to the horizon as I looked around me, seeing and taking note of the small handful of shielded boxes.

Edward

This had to be the strangest thing I've ever done, I relayed everything that Seth saw and heard for everyone but Sam, he was in his wolf form being directly linked to Seth. Everyone laughed at the descriptions of their boxes and it eased the palpable tension that was around the bonfire. For a matter of seconds I saw into her mind, then she was gone again and Old Quill's laughing explanation told me why no matter what she would hide her mind. Then the testing of her shield began and it was amazing, I could no longer hear Charlie nor could Jasper feel him or Alice see his future, with every try it became stronger and more noticeable even to us, the shimmer around the shielded person or persons, when she shielded Leah all the wolves disappeared, their link was that strong.

When it was over and Old Quill mentioned her personal demons I was so ashamed, many of them were my fault, exacerbating small feelings she had had about herself self-worth, into large demons, I hated myself for this, I wished I could take them away, but I wished more than anything I could have been a better man and never given them to her at all. When I look back now on our relationship, I can't believe the arrogance and self-righteous attitude I had treated her with, I was cruel and demeaned her all the time and in the name of what? My own fear! Nothing but my own cowardice and she took the brunt of it. I can't understand why I did it, rather than look inward I struck out at those I loved because I do love her, I just was never in love with her.

Garrett

My god that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, not only allowing Jasper to knock Little Swan out but then to let two males enter my mate's mind. I kept a hand on her ankle the whole time and watched the shaman closely as Edward relayed what was happening, mostly I was swinging back and forward between fear and being so proud of her, she managed to work with her shield quickly and better with each try. We knew it might be harder when she was awake but we hoped not, the mention of her inner demons had me lowly growling at Edward, I knew they weren't all because of him but some were. I now needed her awake to see that she was unharmed and to just lavish her with my love, Jasper said we would start her training immediately after she awoke and I growled loudly at him and he had the decency to be embarrassed.

We would definitely be having a break, do they forget my angel's human and I would think even though she'd been asleep she'll be mentally exhausted. She needs to eat, to rest and to be lavished with love by me and only me. Then that idiot Carlisle said she would rest at their house under his supervision, as he documented all that had happened, he even attempted to take her from me and I damn near lost it. He looked confused as to my behaviour until his mate reminded him who I was too Little Swan and he paled, realising he had overstepped his bounds, not by an inch but a mile. I had gathered her to me, holding her tightly to my chest as it reverberated with my growls. Charlie just nodded to me and said "Take good care of our girl Garrett, tell her I love her and we'll catch up later" that put an end to all further discussion, I turned to Jasper saying "Wake her now!" We all heard Alice's warning just a little too late.

Bella

I was just between waking and unconsciousness when I felt Garrett holding me to him, I was happy until I realised he was growling deep in his chest and he felt way to tense, so I automatically flung out my shield to protect us, strengthening it with the thought, 'not just his mind but his body too'. I was inching it out to make sure nothing was close to him. I felt several things bouncing away and was glad, I had to protect my mate at all costs. There was shouting all around and then screaming, I was confused as I came to, why were they always screaming, why can't they shut up, god damn it the Cullens were so fucking noisy.

I opened my eyes to see Garrett and I were surrounded by fire, my shield had pushed into the bonfire and thrown in up over us, well that accounts for the screaming, but why were they not putting it out, I moved my hand to lift Garrett's head, his eyes were black and he seemed totally out of it. "Soldier? baby, look at me? I'm safe. I'm here! Now you have to stand up and move us out of the fire, I'm shielding you Garrett, but I can't hold it forever please baby we have to move!" I was a little panicked that it would fail and he could die, this time, our roles were reversed, I would get burnt but survive, but my love would die.

I keep stroking and rubbing his arms, slowly the growling subsided and he focused on me and then the fire "Shit! Fucking Carlisle! god damn him!" was all he said as he stood with me in his arms and walked forward. I looked around and there was chaos, the shield had knocked everyone back on all sides. The whole pack had phased and were growling and snapping at the Cullens, they were crouched and spitting and hissing back at the pack, but to the side, I could see my father lying, unmoving on the ground and no one but Leah's wolf was there to help him. I pulled in the shield tightly around us and told Garrett to take me to my father, encompassing them as well when we reached them.

"He's breathing angel, I think he's just knocked out, looks like his left arm is broken, though!" Garrett says as he runs his hands over my father's still form, "What have I done? Daddy, I'm so sorry! I'm a danger to everyone, I can never use this accursed shield again look what I've done!" I sob uncontrollably. Leah has phased back and is uncaring that she is naked, as she strokes my father's face and checks his body for other wounds, Garrett removes his shirt and hands it to her, "Sorry about the smell!" he says grinning as Leah grimaced, but she put it on anyway. "Leah?" I say tentatively, "Bella this was not your fucking fault! Doctor Fang caused all this shit, do no harm my ass! What the fuck is wrong with him?" she ranted.

I turned to look at the Cullens, Jasper was on the ground, hands gripping his head, pain etched his face, with Alice draped across him trying to protect her mate. Everyone else was still growling and snarling at the pack, except Carlisle who was sitting with his head in his hands, he looked up as if he felt my gaze and I knew right away what was wrong. "Garrett you've got to stop this, look at poor Jasper, everyone's out of control!" I shouted and he leapt up and grabbed Emmett who was making the most noise, shaking him until he snapped out of it. Then he did the same to Edward, as Emmett quieten Rose, Edward stopped Esme, but Garrett couldn't drag Alice off of Jasper to check him over, she was also in full mate mode, but unintentionally feeding Jasper's rage, Esme and Rose rushed to her side making all the right soothing noises to bring her down enough for Jasper to recover.

Garrett

Edward was now trying to calm the wolves, explaining to Sam that they were all feeding Jasper's projection, that once overloaded he had begun throwing it back and they just kept feeding it, a vicious cycle of anger and pain for Jasper. Sam calmed enough to Alpha command everyone to stop, phase human and return home. I looked at Little Swan who along with Sue and Leah had gotten Charlie into the back of Paul's pickup truck and he was now awake with his arm splinted. He was hugging Bella, shushing her and saying none of this was her fault, I needed to get her away soon. I rounded on Carlisle, demanding what the fuck he thought he was playing at, how dare he try to come between me and my mate. But he just sat there saying nothing, Little Swan had walked up to us by then.

She spoke loudly "Garrett, everyone! We're leaving! I cannot stay with the family under these conditions, Damn you, Carlisle! I almost killed my own father today because of you! You're selfishness nearly cost Charlie his life and that's unforgivable! How could you?" She started to walk away when Esme called after her "What do you mean Bella?" I rushed to catch her up, she glared over her shoulder at the family, "You of all people Esme should have seen! Look at your husband's eyes, then you'll have your answer" she spat out and everyone gasped. Gone was the dark eyes of one who needs to feed and back was the bright gold of a non-predator animal drinker.