The first snowfall of the season had begun. One flake, two, then a torrent, gliding gracefully downwards from the blanket of thick white clouds above. Sora followed them with his eyes, gazing out the window at the slow gathering sheet of white that blanketed the street.

"Sora?"

Pulled from his reverie, he turned his attention to Aerith.

"It's good to have you back. I feel like we haven't really had a chance to talk since…"

"Yeah," Sora muttered, staring at his feet.

"I was very sorry to hear what happened."

"Yeah."

"It's hard…when a child loses a parent."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly."

"Okay. That's fine…is there anything you do want to discuss?"

Sora straightened his posture and breathed in deeply. "Not really."

Aerith looked on intently, her stare direct and unwavering. Sora felt like he was being interrogated.

Finally, she relented. "If you ever feel like you need to talk please don't hesitate to come see me."

"Got it," he said, and left the office.

"I'm going out," he called, pulling on his jacket and tightening the hood around his head. Sora waited at the door for a response. None was forthcoming.

"Okay then," he murmured to himself, letting himself out of his apartment and descending to the streets below. The load had lessened, the volley of snow becoming a light shower of flurries; the thin accumulation crunched beneath his sneakers as he pushed himself through the neighborhood.

He arrived at the docks in short order. Demyx was waiting, as he always did. This time he had a guest.

"Ah, Sora," Axel's lips broke into a wide smile. "Snow give you trouble?"

"No, I'm fine," Sora replied. "What do you got for me?"

"Nothing," he said, shooting a hard glance at Demyx. "There was a little trouble with the shipment today."

"Trouble?"

"Don't you worry about it," Axel took a pouch of munny from his pocket and tossed it to him. "For your troubles. We'll be on schedule next week. Got it memorized?"

"Um…" Sora scratched his head. "Okay."

He stood there, unsure of what to do, the words that had just been spoken irking him for some unfathomable reason. Axel looked at him strangely.

"You alright there kid?"

"Uh, yeah," he said, turning around to leave. He stuck the munny in his coat pocket and trudged back the way he came.

Sora opened the door to his apartment and was met with the sounds of sniffling. He strained his ears and listened. He didn't have to. Roxas's door burst open and he stumbled out, leaning against the wall and righting himself before continuing into the living room. He was pale and sweat glistened on his forehead.

"Whaddaya doing home?" he grumbled. Sora stared.

"Are you alright?" Sora asked, reaching out to feel his forehead.

Roxas pulled back. "'m fine."

"You don't look fine," Sora said pointedly. "Are you sick?"

"I said I'm fine," Roxas repeated. He moved towards the door.

Sora stepped in his way. "Where are you going?"

"Out," he said, pushing past Sora and leaving the apartment.

Sora watched him go, and he was reminded of earlier, not better, times.

The night had come. The night of the party, or ball, whatever. Sora shook his head as he buttoned up his shirt, dusted off his black jeans, which were kind of tight, now that he was wearing them. His eyes caught the scar on his chest; it had grown more noticeable, the white line that stretched over his heart brighter and deeper. He fixed the last button and checked himself in the mirror, making sure his hair was in order (as much as it could be anyway) and willed the familiar nerves to disappear.

It was crazy. The whole idea, the very notion that he was about to attend a party, first of all, even worse when the name of its host blared in his brain. He must have been insane to agree to this. He glanced at the vase placed carefully on his window sill, the pink rose leaning out into open air. She had asked of him, and he had answered.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out.

Be there in 5.

Five. Five was doable. Just enough time to gather himself up and pretend to be calm. Pretending was the easiest thing in the world. He figured he'd be doing a lot of that tonight.

Five minutes felt more like five seconds, because she was knocking on his door not long after that and he steeled himself for what was sure to be a series of very unfortunate events.

When he opened the door his breath caught in his throat and he felt he couldn't move, lest he disturb the heavenly sight that stood before him. Kairi, her hair (was it auburn now?) flowing down in perfect synchronicity and coming to rest on her shoulders, her lips a rosy red (he could almost taste the cherry lipstick), and a light blue mascara that just managed to accentuate her almond shaped eyes. Her beautiful scarlet dress traced her body and clung to her curves. That winning smile, her perfect, shining white teeth on full display, with just a touch of blush marking her cheeks. He felt so very conscious of his own lackluster appearance.

"Hey," she greeted, "looking sharp."

"I could say the same of you."

"Shall we?" she asked, reaching for his hand and lacing her fingers through his.

So that's how she was going to play it. "By all means," he gestured towards the stairs and together they entered her now familiar limousine. This time there would be no shortage of conversation, as the worries that pressed on Sora's mind began to spill forth.

"So this is big, right? You said it's a big party."

"Yeah," Kairi nodded, giving him a curious look. "Why?"

"Just wondering," Sora shook his head and stared out the window. "Everyone there…they're all people from school?"

"Yes," she confirmed. There was a heavy silence.

Sora struggled with himself for a moment, but was unable to resist. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Maybe cause I'm going to the party of the guy who broke my arm in front of the entire school?" he said, fidgeting in his seat.

Kairi sighed and rested a hand on his arm. "Just try to relax, okay?"

"Oh," Sora laughed, "that's easy for you to say. He obviously wouldn't want me there, so why is this even happening right now?"

"Sora," Kairi put her hands on his cheeks and turned his head to her, "you said you trusted me, remember?"

Sora nodded weakly.

"So trust me."

Sora leaned back in his seat. There was no other choice.

When they pulled into Carroll Gardens and began cruised down the street, Sora could only watch with a sort of detached interest as houses, actual houses, began to pass them by. Big, white, they all looked so similar, yet it was something entirely unlike what he had seen before. The only comparable point of reference was his excursion to Kairi's house, but that had been months ago, and now old feelings were flooding back. He was finding that there were more and more cars parked on either side of the street, there was a booming in the distance that was steadily closing in.

The limo drifted to the right and at the end of the street, facing him, was the largest home Sora had ever laid eyes upon.

"Is that-?"

"Yep."

If Kairi's house was a mansion, then Riku's was a palace. The thing looked so very similar to a living, breathing castle that Sora had to do a double take to insure that what he was seeing was indeed right in front of him. Big windows and gleaming white and blue spires that stretched into sky, water fountains and a garden presented the front entrance with the aura of class and respectability. Sora understood at that very moment that he was way out of his element.

The limo rolled on through the gated entrance and parked in front of the marble steps which led up to the huge double doors that presumably marked the official entry point into Riku's castle.

"Kairi, I don't know about-"

"It's fine, Sora," she interrupted. "Come on."

He exited the limo, somewhat reluctantly and stared up at the magnificent spectacle; the party that was raging inside may as well have been occurring outside, for the excited chatter and laughter and music radiated out and touched the low-hanging Brooklyn skyline with its own sickening beat.

Sickening indeed. Sora felt like he might throw up, but Kairi pulled him along, as she so often did, and he climbed the marble steps, feeling not like a knight about to hold court with the king, but like a lowly peasant, praying to the merciful Lord that his head would not be removed from his shoulders.

Kairi pushed open the doors without even bothering to knock and Sora followed her inside. As he stepped across the threshold he felt a sudden feeling of familiarity course through him and the scar on his chest pounded so hard he was almost forced to stop, but it passed as quickly as it appeared and he found himself inside.

The sounds and smells and sights overwhelmed him almost immediately. A sensory smorgasbord, every possible input receiving every possible stimulus all at once. There were easily a hundred people that filled the great hall, long tables with all sorts of food lined the room, smaller and rounder tables for people to sit and talk dotted the crowded landscape, there was an enormous fireplace that lit the room and chandeliers that hung over them. The sea of people did not stop there, but continued on into other rooms and even up the velvet carpeted staircase.

They inched forward, Sora following Kairi closely as they pushed through the masses of people. Nobody seemed to pay much attention to him, but a few people called out to Kairi and she responded in kind. He kept his head down.

They reached a table whose seats were only, miraculously, half filled. At the table sat Selphie and the blue haired girl he had seen around, but whose name escaped him.

Kairi took a seat next to Selphie and Sora made sure to sit next to her, doing his very best to avoid eye contact. Kairi, for her part, seemed unperturbed.

The two girls were quiet for a moment and Sora knew they were looking at him, feeling the pressure and understanding there was to be no backing down if he was going to survive the night, he lifted his head and faced them.

"Sora, you know Selphie," Kairi introduced. "And this is Aqua," she gestured towards the girl with blue hair.

He did his best to smile at them and Aqua gave him a real bright one in return. Selphie merely lifted her chin and looked away.

"Hi," he said, his voice coming out surprisingly stronger than intended.

The girls got to talking and Sora listened, content to simply sit and let the party play out around him. Not so bad, if he could just do this for the rest of the night. Hardly anyone had noticed he was there. The world was too big and he was too small. He let his eyes roam the lavish room, hardly able to comprehend that he was even there. Riku's winter ball.

He felt his chest tighten and an unfamiliar emotion swept through him. Something about this was all wrong. All so very wrong. Yet he could not pinpoint the source of this imbalance and all he could do was clench his fist and feel the sweat trickle down the nape of his neck. He had been caught in houses before, locked away in places he had no business being in, but this was something else.

Sora felt someone tapping his shoulder and he turned to the girls, who were looking at him with expectant and curious eyes.

"Huh?"

"Aqua wanted to how your arm was doing," Kairi relayed. Her expression gave no indication that she wished for him to answer one way or another. He was on his own.

"Oh," he said, and he felt a disappointment at the question. Was that all he was remembered for? "It's fine," he lifted his elbow up and down, "no harm done."

"Good," Aqua smiled at him again. Either she was very friendly, or she was just making fun of him. Sora settled on the likeliest possibility. He supposed it was better than not being remembered at all.

"So did Kairi ask you to come here?" Selphie inquired. Sora's eyes widened. He looked to Kairi.

"Yes, I did," she said smoothly. The table was quiet and nothing more was said.

Suddenly the lights went out and the fireplace cooled, replaced instead by neon lights that flashed wildly across the room and the steady hum of the prior music was supplanted by a more frenetic beat. People began to get up and join those already dancing and the room finally became a party. A real party. The kind of party that Sora envisioned, the kind one would find at nightly block parties or drunken nighttime raves in an apartment complex. Past and present, the ideal and the real, together they melded here on the floor of a grand castle by the riverfront.

"Let's dance!" Selphie cheered and grabbed Kairi by the arm, dragging her into the crowd of swaying bodies. Sora watched her go. He turned to Aqua and their eyes locked for a brief moment before she too was lost.

Sora wondered where Riku was. Somewhere in this vast and terrible conundrum that Sora had found himself inexplicably attached to was the man of the hour. Yet he was nowhere to be seen. Not for the little people to see, he supposed.

"Having fun?" a voice called to him over the noise. Tidus took a seat next to Sora and smirked at him.

"About as much as you'd expect," Sora answered bluntly, if not honestly.

"Yeah, the party scene is not really my thing. Or ball, whatever," Tidus shrugged.

Sora looked at him disbelievingly. "Seriously?"

Tidus did a double take. "What?"

"You're here, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but something tells me we might be here for the same reasons."

"Oh yeah?" Sora grabbed a glass of water and took a sip. "How's that?"

The music rose in pitch and the people threw their hands up and screamed in delight.

"You and me are gunning for the same guy."

"What guy?"

Bodies rocked against each other, etiquette discarded in the throes of passion.

"Who do you think?"

Sora was silent, refusing to meet his eyes.

Heat. The boys hugged their girls and the girls wrapped their arms around their boys. Hands fumbled in the dark.

"You let Kairi drag you to this thing, huh? How much do you even know about her, anyway?"

Sora turned his head and looked Tidus in the eye. "What do you want from me, Tidus?"

"I need you," Tidus said, "and you need me."

Red hair bounced gleefully in the simmering vortex of humanity.

"And why would I need you?" Sora asked. It was almost too funny.

"That's why," Tidus pointed into the crowd and Sora saw him, Riku, descending the stairs as if he were truly a king come to grace his subjects with his presence. Sora felt it again. That feeling that something was wrong. That this was all so

(unfair)

wrong. There was no hint of the bruises that marked his body at school. Riku, in all of his glory, actualizing the very potential of his being. Here he was dominant.

"Grinds you too, doesn't it?" Tidus noted.

Sora said nothing, watching as Riku thrust himself into the crowd of dancing teens and they parted willingly for him, just as they did in school. Just as they did everywhere.

"They want him gone, you know."

Sora swiveled to Tidus. "Who?"

"You know who."

Riku approached Kairi and grey eyes met violet, she smiled at him and they began to dance, the people around them cheering them on and moving to the groove of the beat.

"There's nothing I can do," Sora said, his eyes downcast.

"There is," Tidus insisted. "You can help me do it."

Sora gave him an incredulous look and downed some more water. "I can't do that."

Tidus leaned back in his chair and watched the partygoers on the floor, tapping his foot to the music. "Then you wouldn't have come, if you really believed that," he stated grimly.

Riku took Kairi's hands in his own and spun her around. Sora could see, even from a distance, how her cheeks flushed and her chest heaved. Was she happy? Was she enjoying this? What was the point of all this? He felt his fingers clench around his glass.

"You know it's the right thing," Tidus said, and his voice seemed to float above all the noise, tailor made for Sora's ears only. "We both benefit."

Sora said nothing. Why did she look so happy? Why was she at goddamned ease?

"Fine," he heard himself speak at last. Tidus gave him a surprised look, but a content smile soon spread across his face.

"What's your number?" Tidus asked, pulling out his phone. They exchanged numbers and Tidus stood and patted him on the shoulder.

"Don't let it get you down, buddy," he said, looking to Riku and Kairi's majestic movements. He stalked off into the crowd and Sora was left seated, feeling somewhat dazed and ill at the exchange that had just occurred. He shook himself from his thoughts and pushed his way onto the floor, working his way through the tightness of the crowd and ascending the staircase. He was there, may as well make the most of it. There may never be another chance to explore such a fine place.

The dazzling sight that greets any casual passerby on the outside and the opulence of Riku's grand hall faded into a mundane retread the further he traveled. Big halls, many doors, expensive ornaments and the like. The occasional human being that loitered about or the couple left to carry out their hormone fueled affair in the shadows. In a way, it was more like those apartment parties and street festivals than Sora had given it credit for.

He wandered into one particular bedroom that was surprisingly messy, given the impeccable state of the rest of the house, with clothes strewn about the room and over the bed. Sora didn't even want to know what had taken place here. He walked over to a pair of sliding glass doors and stepped out onto a balcony. Below, the East River calmly lapped at the shore. He felt at ease.

Sora wasn't sure how long he stood there, staring out across the expanse of the river at the city skyline. It was different now. He had been to that shining city. He had walked its streets. And it was all because of her. All because of-

He looked back at the room. Something was making noise. Cautiously, he stepped back from the balcony and into the room, taking another look at the clothes tossed carelessly onto the floor. thump thump. It was coming from the closet. thump thump. He approached and put his hand on the knob. The door rattled, something was being forced against it. He pulled open the door and a blur of humanity spilled out onto the floor. Sora jumped back and saw the familiar blue hair spread across the floor.

Aqua. And there was someone on top of her, struggling with her, he looked up, narrowing his golden eyes in confusion and anger. Sora's eyes caught Aqua's and he saw the pools of tears gathering in their corners and the wetness on her cheeks and the red rings marking her wrist and he understood instantly.

He grabbed the boy by his black spiky hair and dragged him off the girl. He tumbled to the floor and Aqua shot up, her hand clasped over her mouth.

"Sora, wait-!"

The black haired boy growled and stood. His height matched Sora's and they stood even.

"Vanitas, please, stop-"

"You know this jerk-off?" Vanitas growled, stepping towards Sora.

"H-He's Kairi's friend, just – just…"

Vanitas was so close that their noses were almost touching. Sora did not back away, did not flinch. All he saw was this boy, and all he could think was how much he wanted to see him erased from existence.

Vanitas breathed heavily, his face was red and Sora watched a trickle of sweat roll down his temple. Finally, he broke eye contact and looked over Sora's shoulder at Aqua. He smirked and jabbed a finger into Sora's chest.

"You better watch it, kid," he said, and sauntered off. Sora watched after him, unable to move. The anger he had tried so hard to tamp down building to unimaginable heights. It was one thing after another. Mistake, he thought through the red haze that was filtering into his every thought. This whole night was a mistake.

"Sora," he heard a voice behind him, and he felt a hand grab his. Soft. It reminded him of-

"You're shaking," Aqua noted. Sora looked down and saw that his hands were, indeed, shaking. He shook his head and pulled his hand from hers.

"What was that?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck and sitting down on the bed. He felt like he had just run a marathon.

"It was nothing," Aqua said dismissively, looking away and rubbing her wrist.

"Didn't look like nothing," Sora said. Aqua squirmed uncomfortably.

"It was nothing," she repeated. Sora was getting tired of repetition.

"Does that happen often around here?" he asked, unable to keep the harsh edge from entering his voice.

Aqua looked at him sadly. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, I know," he said, nodding furiously, "I don't know a damn thing about anything that goes on around here," he stood in front of her and she flinched away from his hard gaze. "I don't know anything about any of this. This fucking house and this fucking party and all of you people. I don't even know why I'm here," he kicked the wall angrily and dented it.

Aqua watched him warily and Sora turned away, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Why are you so sad?" she asked.

Sora looked up at her, startled. "What?"

"I see you all the time," she continued, "in school. I just…you always look so sad. I always wanted to ask you-" she stopped.

Sora said nothing. He sat on the bed again.

"Whatever," he sighed, staring down at the floor, "just…whatever."

Aqua stood still for several long moments and Sora thought she would never leave, until he heard her footsteps move towards the door. A thought suddenly crossed Sora's mind and his head shot up.

"Who hurt Kairi?" he asked.

Aqua stopped short, but didn't turn around. "Who do you think?"

She left and Sora was left alone. The sounds of the party downstairs may as well have been across the East River, for there was nothing there but the stillness of the night and the faint glow of the bedside lamp.

"You're welcome," he murmured.

Sora dozed, splayed out on the bed, head nestled comfortably on the pillow. Nobody intruded. He drifted in and out of sleep, lifted from his physical body and then set back down again, listening to the vibrations the music downstairs made on the hardwood floor and cabinets of the bedroom.

It had been so long, and the sounds so familiar that they no longer registered, that he did not hear her approaching the room until she was already leaning against the doorframe.

"Sorrrraaa," Kairi whined, "I've been looking everywhere for you."

Sora sat up and looked at her, drinking in her appearance. Her hair was mussed and her mascara was smudged. Her dress seemed a bit wrinkled.

"Kairi?" he asked, perhaps stupidly.

She stumbled over to him, almost tripping over herself in the process and fell back onto the bed, giggling madly to herself.

"Are you alright?" he questioned, waving a hand in front of her face.

"I'm perfect," she slurred, "more perfect than I ever was."

"Uh huh," he hummed, lifting her by the shoulders so that she was sitting up. Kairi looked at him through half lidded eyes and stroked his cheek.

"You're so cute Sora," she remarked. The smell of alcohol filled his nose and he knew quite well what was occurring.

"You're drunk," he observed. Kairi giggled again.

"You're drunk," she slapped his shoulder.

"Okay," he chuckled. "What time are we supposed to leave?" he asked.

"Leave?" she asked, and she seemed genuinely confused, "why would we ever leave?"

"I think we have to go home eventually, Kairi," he said.

"Nah," she waved a hand at him dismissively, "we can stay forever," she spread her arms wide and fell back down on the bed.

"Right," Sora said. She was likely going to be out for the next few hours, and he really didn't wish to stay any longer than necessary.

"Aren't you having fun?" Kairi asked, as if the idea that he wasn't was an astounding proposition.

"Sure," he nodded. "I'm having fun."

"Good," Kairi smiled pleasantly, "you never have any fun."

He looked at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on Sora, you hate fun."

"I do not."

"You do toooooo."

"It's hard to have fun in a place like this," he admitted honestly. What did it matter, when she wouldn't remember anything in the morning?

"This is where all the fun happens," Kairi said, but she sounded solemn.

Sora said nothing for a long moment. "Kairi, can I ask you something?"

"Ask awaaay," she sang, lifting an arm into the air.

"Did Riku hurt you?"

"Riku loooooves me," she grinned. "He said so. He can't hurt me, ever ever."

"Right."

"Do you love me?" she quested, and suddenly she sounded very serious.

"What?" Sora asked, startled.

Kairi struggled to sit up, but eventually managed. She crawled up between Sora's legs, until she was stretched over him, their bodies almost touching, and she looked him in the eyes.

"I see the way you look at me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do," Kairi whispered, and her eyes were almost closed shut. "I know you do."

It happened in an instant, her head swooped down and captured his lips with hers and Sora found his resistance melting away so very quickly. Their mouths moved in tandem, a beautiful rhythm, and despite the taste of alcohol, Sora loved the way she felt. He pulled her closer and their bodies pressed against each other and Kairi whimpered in his mouth. All the heat in his body was rushing to his groin and she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt in her hands and pulled him even closer. She straddled him and he reached around, gripping and squeezing her and he couldn't help the groan that escaped him.

When they could finally do no more, they broke away for air. Kairi remained close, panting heavily in his ear. It was enough to drive Sora close to the brink, to the point of no return. He was going to lose control.

"Kairi," he hissed as she suckled on his neck, planting kisses as she worked her way downwards, "we have to stop."

"I don't wanna," she protested, continuing her efforts, her hands snaking their way under his shirt.

"We have to," he said, just barely able to get the words out, the physical sensations she was imparting on him threatening to overwhelm him.

"I can't," he said again, pushing her hands away. "Not when you're like this."

Kairi stared at him, trying to comprehend the words he was speaking. "You don't want me," she mumbled, looking downright devastated.

"That's…that's not true," he said, still trying to recover from what had just taken place. "Just…not like this."

Her shoulders slumped and she sat back. Sora saw a tear fall and hit the bedsheet and he felt like a monster.

"Nobody wants me," she whispered.

"Hey," he said forcefully, placing his hands on her shoulders. "That's not true. That's not true at all."

Kairi sniffled and didn't respond.

"Come on, Kairi. I…you're drunk out of your mind. Do you understand that? Drunk. We can't…I can't…"

He wasn't sure if she understood, but she clambered over to the other side of the bed and fell down on the pillow. Sora waited a minute before shaking her. She didn't move. Her breathing was soft and steady. She was sound asleep.

Sora sat there, trying to wrap his head around the night's events, and finding himself to be utterly exhausted in the process. He got up and shut the door to the rest of the house, leaving the two of them, at least for the time being, alone.

He was just thankful she had found him before anyone else had found her. He wondered to himself if she had a habit of doing this, he wondered about the words she had spoken, wondered about the all too frequent private departure from the public confidence that she liked to project. If anything, she was a babe in the woods. She liked to pretend.

Sora laid down next to her, making sure to cover them both with the bedsheets. It was stupid. They were in someone else's house, at a party, no less. Kairi's lovely limo was probably waiting on a call from her. Anyone could walk in at any moment. But it was all okay.

He liked to pretend too.