Elizabeth was barely aware she'd arrived on the Daedalus. She missed John already, the thought of the days stretching between them was brutally unpleasant.
"Elizabeth. Are you all right?"
Blinking her eyes rapidly, she finally focused on the room before her. "Steven?"
"Good to see you. I understand you took a little unscheduled leave." Caldwell's face morphed into an awkward smile at his joke.
She nodded and offered a reluctant grin in return. "Genius, right? It didn't even cost me a full day of PTO."
Steven's smiled stretched wide now, she'd never realized he had so many teeth. He nodded towards the corridor and they began walking in the direction of the board room.
"So what's next, Colonel? Briefing and one way ticket to the Milky Way?"
They reached the door and he motioned her inside. She headed directly towards the coffee, delighted to find a fresh pot.
"They'll have some food here in a minute, but I remembered you were fond of coffee."
She inhaled deeply, savoring the aroma. "Fond may be an understatement."
She bypassed the conference table and settled into a deep chair near the window. Taking a sip, she peered over the cup watching Steven settle into the chair adjacent to her. It occurred to her that if she needed a litmus test to taking her relationship with John public, Steven would be ideal. She bit her lip in consideration. On the other hand, he'd made no qualms about his desire for John's posting, she could be hand delivering the info that would make that a possibility.
Caldwell crossed a leg and settled back against the chair. "You look deep in thought. Anything you care to share?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "No, just enjoying the coffee. Too much probably."
A comfortable silence fell and Elizabeth used it to savor each sip of the rich dark roast coffee.
Caldwell softly cleared his throat. "Elizabeth, you were gone a long time. I know the trip to Earth is the last thing you want."
Her eyes rolled. "You think right. I know it was just hours for them, but I feel like I abandoned my team on Atlantis."
"I can't begin to imagine, I only know how I'd feel in your position." Caldwell shifted forward, propping his elbows on his knees. "I'd be looking for any possible excuse to get out of this briefing on Earth."
She smiled wryly. "I've tried that before. It didn't go so well for me. The IOA can be…very insistent. I thought it best to push through and get back as soon as possible."
Steven nodded. "From what I've read in mission reports, the Ancients don't tend to be very forthcoming. Has that changed? Did they share any technology with you, any intel making that briefing necessary?"
"No, it was almost more of a test than anything else." Elizabeth was thoughtful. "For whatever its worth, I believe we passed."
Steven abruptly stood up. "Good enough for me. We'll arrive at Atlantis within the hour, you'll be free to return to your team and resume command."
"Wait. What?" She jumped up and grabbed his arm, her questioning eyes locking onto his.
He smiled easily now. "You can hardly return to Earth with the technical issues we're having with our systems."
Bewildered, she faltered. This was radically unlike Caldwell's by the books mentality.
"What did you do?" She finally asked.
"Beyond my control. Systems malfunctions of indeterminate origin." He shrugged, failing miserably to portray innocence.
Elizabeth surprised them both when she threw her arms around him, gifting him with a brief, giddy hug of delight. He awkwardly patted her back and boasted a proud, endearing smile when she drew away.
"Thank you, Steven."
A small crew swept into the room, setting up a small array of food. Elizabeth's eyes remained on Caldwell. She couldn't think of any ulterior motive he'd have in helping her. Something Andara said popped into her mind and she couldn't help but wonder if they'd been somehow responsible for influencing this change of heart.
"Dinner?" Caldwell nodded toward the spread.
Elizabeth's stomach growled loudly at the sight. Simple, comfort foods from Earth. Nothing had ever looked better.
"You don't have to ask me twice."
Later that night, Atlantis…
Elizabeth's return to Atlantis was surreal. She'd been gone for six months, yet most of the crew probably had no idea what she'd experienced, if they'd even been aware she was gone in the first place. She curbed her urge to hug them all and snagged her laptop, ready to retreat to her room.
"Where's Colonel Sheppard?" She was more than a little surprised he hadn't been around to greet her.
"We tried to reach him and let him know you were returning, but we haven't been able to contact him." Chuck answered. "Carson and Major Lorne have requested a word, but they're at the mainland now. We weren't expecting you back for weeks. They should return within the hour."
"Ok, let me know when they're back." She headed towards the stairs. "And let me know if you see Sheppard."
John was probably busy burning his old, worn uniform or had busted into his hidden stash of beer. Quite possibly, he was in the shower taking advantage of the convenience of modern plumbing. The thought was enticing and she doubled her footsteps back to her quarters.
After indulging for far too long in the luxury of a proper shower, she bypassed the uncomfortable uniform in favor of soft black yoga pants and tank top. Pausing before the mirror, she was temporarily at a loss as to handle her lengthy locks. She bundled her hair loosely atop her head, curls spilling out haphazardly as she secured it with a hairband. She shrugged and moved on. She kind of liked it.
John didn't answer her on the radio. It wasn't like him to fall off the radar and her nerves bristled with an all too familiar sense of concern. It was the same twisting sensation that normally only coiled within her before she found out something had gone terribly wrong. John wasn't off world, he wasn't on a mission. She'd just been in the control room, everything was fine. She took a deep breath and tried to shake off the foreboding premonition. Things would be different between them here on Atlantis, she just needed to adjust to him not being at her side all the time.
She slowly blew out the deep breath she'd been holding and opened up her laptop. After a quick glance through email, she began sorting through mission reports that had been filed in her absence. She opened the Entara mission report and scrolled down the page reading carefully. There was an update to the original report, entered by Lorne just a few hours ago. Her heart stopped cold as she read. She pushed away from the desk and jumped to her feet. She had to find John.
His quarters were empty. Moving as fast as her flip flops allowed, she descended a tier, heading towards a wing of empty offices and unassigned staff quarters. John's team had recently appropriated one of the rooms there and had cobbled together a rec room of sorts, with an odd assortment of furniture and the all-important TV/DVD combo. She entered the corridor where the rec room was and almost collided with Lorne.
Lorne heaved a sigh of relief. He'd been looking for Elizabeth everywhere, a task that would have been easier had she remembered her radio. He had to cut her some slack, though. After six months away, he'd probably forget more than the radio. Taking advantage of her surprise, he steered her out of the hallway and back around the corner.
"Major?" Elizabeth's eyes seemed incredulous at his audacity. "Chuck said you wanted to speak, can it wait? I need to find Colonel Sheppard."
"That's why Carson and I wanted to talk to you. After you disappeared on Entara, we went back and found-"
"I know what you found. I read the mission report." She was looking behind him, anxious to get on her way.
Lorne probably shouldn't have been surprised Elizabeth had already caught up on the mission reports.
"It's just that Colonel Sheppard didn't take it well." Lorne eyed her carefully. "Carson was relieved to find out the Daedalus was bringing you back."
"What did John do?" Elizabeth's eyebrow had arched painfully high.
Lorne was taken by surprise. "I didn't say-"
"You didn't have to. Evan." Elizabeth reached forward and put her hand on his arm. "Will you just take me to him?"
Something familiar glinted in her eyes. A sense of urgency and desperate concern that he'd only seen before when John's team was in danger or overdue. He was missing something here.
"Come on." He took a step back and stretched his arm out, inviting Elizabeth back into the hall way. "They don't know you're back, I had just gotten back to them when I heard you coming."
They were just a few steps away to the rec room when the door swished open. Ronon exited the room to the opposite direction, his hands clasping behind his head, his face tight with frustration.
Teyla emerged behind Ronon her hand falling gently on his lower back. "Come back inside. Stay with us."
When he didn't answer, Teyla moved around to face him. She spotted Elizabeth as she turned and her eyes stretched wide with surprise. Ronon turned around, following Teyla's stare, and his eyes fixed on Elizabeth. He gave a slight nod and his shoulders seemed to relax as his arms fell back to his sides.
Evan stayed by Elizabeth's side as she walked towards them.
"I'm sorry, Teyla." Elizabeth reached out and squeezed Teyla's shoulder.
"Thank you." Teyla's eyes were filled with sorrow. "It is good you are here."
Lorne had been on Atlantis long enough to get that John and Elizabeth were close, but he was still puzzled by everyone's excessive relief at her return. He'd come to fill her in and suddenly, he was feeling more and more like he was the one in the dark. It was a little bit like deva vu, now that he thought about it. The last time John had crushed a glass panel in anger was when he'd been infected with the Iratus virus. Elizabeth was the only one he'd allowed to visit, maybe the only one trusting enough to visit him in return.
Elizabeth peered into the rec room. "Where is he?"
"In here." Teyla's hand went to Elizabeth's shoulder and guided her into the room.
Lorne trailed behind them as they entered the room. The room was split into two areas, the space to the right held three couches and a TV. McKay was still slumped against the couch on the right, same as where Lorne left him minutes before. His tablet uncharacteristically laid untouched at his side. Lorne had never seen the man stay so quiet for so long and while there had been many, many times he'd wished for such a blissful silence from McKay, now he could only call it disturbing.
He watched Elizabeth's eyes pan the room. She flinched when she spotted McKay looking pale and despondent. She turned past the bank of floor to ceiling windows and past the TV before spotting John perched rigidly at the edge of the couch towards the back of the room. His elbows were propped on his knees, his head in hands. Elizabeth's eyes narrowed, undoubtedly zeroing in on the white bandage wrapped securely about John's right hand.
Elizabeth glanced over her shoulder, her eyes settling questioningly upon Evan. He didn't know why, but he was starting to feel like he was intruding. He shifted uncomfortably as her steely eyes evaluated him as though trying to come to some sort of decision. Just as he was considering bolting, Elizabeth gave a slight nod as though somehow satisfied. She turned, quickly crossing the room to reach John's side. She reached out, her fingers threading through his hair before trailing her hand down to his shoulder.
"Elizabeth." John breathed.
John's head still hung heavy in his hands, his eyes had never left the floor. But they must have, Evan considered, how else would John have known who it was?
"Ford came in on his own. They said he felt guilty about what happened on Entara."
He could hardly make out John's words. Ronon pushed past him, moving closer to Teyla. Evan shifted deeper into the room giving them more space. From here, he couldn't miss the agony in Elizabeth's eyes as she looked at John.
Evan sucked in a gasp of surprise as she descended onto John's lap, settling onto his knee. One hand cupped the back of his neck as she tucked her head down and pressed a kiss just beside his ear.
"I'm so sorry, John." Elizabeth's voice was soft and tender.
Her other hand palmed his cheek and their noses brushed as she drew his face around to hers. John's eyes pressed shut and he leaned into her, tucking his forehead against hers.
Evan felt something akin to a sucker punch to his gut and instinctively turned his eyes away. He shouldn't be seeing them together. Even more, he shouldn't be seeing them while they were like this. Raw, but somehow, not vulnerable.
"Ford appeared to be much better when we left on the mission. Carson had hoped…" Teyla's voice trailed away.
"You couldn't have known. Carson did everything in his power." Evan interrupted. He hated to see them shouldering this guilt. There was nothing they could have done. "Ford had been taking more and more of the enzyme, his body had grown tolerant. He'd reached a point that he couldn't keep a consistent supply to sustain him and the detox was just too much."
John shifted, his arms extending behind Elizabeth's back and under her legs.
"Get over here." His voice a whisper as he pulled Elizabeth with him while he leaned back against the couch. He resettled them with Elizabeth still firmly within his arms and her legs draped across his lap. Her hands threaded through his hair and their heads tucked closely together.
Evan was blatantly staring at them now. They were almost unrecognizable, a pile of tangled limbs drawn together like magnets on the couch. Elizabeth looked like a college student in her yoga clothes with her hair piled loosely on top of her head.
"He was just a kid." McKay's eyes were cast downward. "I should have stayed, worked with Carson-"
"There's nothing you could have done." Ronon started to pace.
There was an edge to Ronon's voice and Lorne suddenly understood his frustration. Ronan didn't like watching them beat themselves up any more than he did. It wasn't easy to witness.
"I would have liked to have held the ritual prayer." Teyla's teeth pressed into her lips. "He shouldn't have been alone."
Elizabeth tilted her head away from John and directed her eyes towards Teyla. "Aiden knew how much you all cared for him, he would never have returned otherwise."
"Elizabeth." McKay seemed to notice her for the first time. He sat up and his eyes swept across the room, finding her nestled into John's tight hold.
Evan would have expected horror on his face, he'd always wondered if McKay cared for Elizabeth more than he'd let on. Instead, he seemed strangely satisfied to find her with John. He nodded and a tiny smile flickered across his face as he resettled back against the couch.
Evan's head fell heavily towards the floor as he finally pieced it all together. It was no wonder they'd seemed so relieved at Elizabeth's return. They'd all known. A hundred random innocuous moments sprang into his mind, all suddenly tinged with new meaning. Images of John and Elizabeth together flitted through his memory while he wondered how and when. The more he reflected, the more he wondered how he'd even missed all the signs in the first place. His face tightened, remembering how often he'd given Elizabeth a hard time when she'd worried because Sheppard's team was overdue. Evan wasn't sure what he'd done to earn her letting that pass, because Sheppard certainly would have killed him by now had she told him.
He looked up and found John eyeing him. "Sorry about the mess earlier." John's eyes darted to his bandaged hand and then back to Evan.
Evan shrugged. "I didn't have to clean it up."
"There's a fridge on the other side, some beer inside."
Evan's feet were moving before John even finished. He grabbed the first six pack within reach and returned, passing them around. McKay didn't look enthusiastic, but took a bottle anyway. Elizabeth sat hers in the floor, she didn't really have a hand to spare with one hooked around John's shoulder. Her free hand returned to John's chest, her palm resting right over his heart.
"To Ford." John raised his bottle.
"May the ancestors watch over him." Teyla said, before turning expectantly towards McKay.
"What?" McKay turned, finding all eyes on him, and cleared his throat. "Oh. Yes. To Ford. He was a good friend…when he wasn't lacing our food with drugs."
"Rodney!" Teyla admonished.
"Or trying to shoot you while you were unarmed, upside down in a tree?"
"Ronon." Teyla sighed in exasperation.
"You got to admit, he certainly kept things interesting." John smiled sadly.
"He will be missed." Rodney said quietly.
The sound of bottles clinking filled the room. John turned his bottle up briefly before passing it to Elizabeth. While she took a sip, John's hands trailed from her knees down to her feet. He frowned and tugged the flip flops from her feet, one at a time, flinging them in the floor. Seeming satisfied, his hand closed around her feet, squeezing them softly.
"No, no, no, no, no." McKay turned away, looking slightly green.
"What is wrong, Rodney?" Teyla asked, her eyes stretched wide with concern.
"He's touching…her…feet." McKay set his beer down and jumped up, his hand scrubbing down his face as if to wash away the horror.
Evan almost snorted his sip of beer. "Her feet? McKay, his other hand is probably grabbing her-"
Teyla elbowed him and Evan wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or grateful that she cut him off. He glanced down at his beer. Almost empty. He was leaning towards the latter.
"But it's her feet! Who knows where they have been. It's just…ewe." McKay's voice squeaked. "Ford would have understood this. Ronon, help me out here."
Ronon's hands went up, begging off, but the corner of his lips twitched with amusement.
"Teyla!" Rodney sounded indignant as her soft laughter rolled through the room.
Elizabeth's back shook while she tried to suppress her own laughter. An unabashed smile stretched wide across John's face.
"Ford would have laughed his ass off at you and you know it." John managed, before pulling up one of Elizabeth's feet and kissing the top of it.
"Ewe, stop." Rodney sputtered and headed towards the door. "Sheppard you are unbelievable."
Elizabeth threw John a look that screamed behave. "Rodney, wait." She called.
The room grew silent as they waited. Finally McKay turned slowly back around. A sheepish look graced his face and he finally shrugged. Their collective laughter filled the room.
John released Elizabeth's foot, accepting the beer she pressed back into his hands. "Ford did this." She whispered.
Lorne didn't understand, she didn't seem upset about whatever Ford had done. Then he looked around the room. They were mourning their friend and in the process, knitting the fabric of their friendship closer together, pulling him and Ronon into the fold… and they'd barely known Ford.
John nodded at Elizabeth and their noses brushed before he pressed a kiss to her cheek. His eyes then swept around the room and he smiled. "Ford did this."
TBC…. Next chapter is complete. I just need fresh eyes so I can try to proof it one last time. Thank you for reading and for the reviews. I hope you enjoyed!