Belle waited patiently as Archie wrote on his notepad. She couldn't imagine what he was writing since they hadn't even begun her session, but she continue to wait. Five seconds later he stopped writing and looked up at her. She smiled, sitting up straight. He smiled back.

"You seem happy." He said. "Did something good happen?"

She didn't respond but he could have sworn he saw a light blush on her cheeks. "Um, kind of."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Archie raised an eyebrow.

She chuckled. "It's okay. We can continue on with the session."

"Okay. Gold tells me you had lunch with your father. How did that go?"

She nodded. "It…it went better than I thought. He did imply a few things that I didn't like."

"Like what?"

"Well, he kind of implied that Rumple wanted to hurt the baby. But I realized I couldn't blame him too much. I had done the same thing."

"Did you talk about him refusing to wake you up?"

"A little. He said he was doing it to protect me. He said he didn't want me with Rumple and asked if we were still together."

"What was your answer?" Archie asked. He was curious to know. Her answer to a question like that could determine where her and Gold's future stood.

"I told him it was complicated."

Archie blinked, staring at her and thinking.

"I even told him we were doing marriage counseling."

"How did he respond?"

"Not much. He didn't really comment on it. I think maybe he liked knowing we were having trouble but hated hearing how we were trying to fix it."

"Your father really doesn't seem to want you with Gold. Even after all this time."

Belle didn't say anything. It was clear that her father not accepting her choice hurt her.

"How do you feel about that?"

She sighed. "I hate it. Growing up he's always thought he knew what was best for me. Looking back I could probably understand it because…I was a child. A parent is suppose to protect the child. But he didn't seem to…approve."

"Approve of what?"

"Well, me reading mainly. He wanted me to be with the other girls and ladies. I know my father loves me but I think he was always disappointed in how I turned out."

"And how is that?"

"Too independent. Thinking too much. Even though we live in a new land with new ideas, he's one of those few who still wants the old ways. He continues to try and hold me back. I mean, I know he thinks he's protecting me, but…"

"Gold said your father tried to erase your memories."

Belle looked down at her feet, trying not to recall that day.

"Why?"

She sighed. "After the curse broke he tried to find me. He thought Rumple was holding me prisoner the whole time when it was really Regina. So he hired someone to kidnap me. What kind of father does that? What kind of father kidnaps their own child?"

Archie didn't respond. He wasn't sure if Belle was aware of how close her question applied to her situation with Rumple, or if she knew and chose to not mention it?

"What happened afterwards?"

"He asked me if I was finally free of the beast."

"You didn't like that."

She shook her head. "No. It was…well, it was shocking! I told him what I thought at the time. That Rumple wasn't a beast and he didn't keep me prisoner. I told him that I chose to stay with him. He asked me if I fell in love with him and I told him yes. He clearly didn't like that." She scoffed, recalling her father's face falling to complete shock and distaste.

"And that's when he tried to wipe your memories?" Archie asked.

Belle nodded. "He had me chained to one of the mining carts and watched as the man he hired pulled the lever and I began to move down the tracks."

She was shaking her head, tasting venom in her mouth. "He just stood there." She whispered.

Archie waited for a moment before continuing. "What happened? I assume you were saved?"

"Yes. Rumple, David, and Ruby found us and Rumple, with his magic, pulled the cart back before it reached the line. So I still had my memories. But I was already upset at him at the time that…I didn't care."

"You didn't care that he saved you?"

"Oh, no! I did thank him for that, it's just…" Well, she didn't really know. "I was mad at him for not talking to me earlier that day. The night, before all of that, I found him in the basement doing magic. When I asked him about it the next morning he said it was just a few spells and it was nothing for me to worry about. I told him he needed to let me in, but he refused. So after he saved me, I told both of my father and Rumple that I didn't want to talk to them. That unless he was willing to be open with me…I needed my space."

After she finished Archie stared at her. He was about to speak up before she continued.

"The next day I was surprised with the keys to the library. I went inside and there was Rumple. I told him that if handing me the keys was a way of apologizing, of making it up to me, that it wasn't going to work. He said they weren't and that he had simply heard of my interest and wanted me to have it. After that he did finally talk. He told me about his son."

"Neal."

She nodded. "I already knew he had a son. He told me back at the Dark Castle. All he said was that he lost him like he lost the mother. But he told me how he created the curse to find him and since we couldn't leave the town line without losing our memories, he was working on a memory portion that would keep his memories and still allow him to leave. I understood that. I accepted it."

"But you still wanted your space."

"I need Rumple to be open with me. I need him to talk to me."

Archie shifted in his chair. "I understand, and I agree. However…telling him isn't going to work." He looked at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Belle, the way you're speaking is as if Gold has no choice but to talk to you for the relationship to work. And I do agree that you both need to be open and talk to each other at how you are feeling. However, there also needs to be a trust among you. And sometimes," He quickly added when Belle opened her mouth, "That trust needs to be blind. We all have scars that we don't want to talk about. I'm sure Gold has more than others. And for some those scars are too deep for anyone to heal. They are too painful to bring up and we shouldn't have to. What you are implying is that he has to tell you everything that he's doing and why he's doing it. That's controlling."

He quickly raised his hand at Belle's shocked face, which he understood. "I'm not saying you are controlling or that you need to be in charge of everything, but considering how long Gold has lived, I'm not sure if everything needs to be told. Marriage is a partnership on trust and as I said, sometimes that trust is blind. It's called faith. If you truly believe in Rumple and truly have faith that he does love you and wants to protect you and Gideon, then does it really matter what he's doing?"

"If he's hurting others it does!" She nearly yelled.

"You're right. And maybe in the next session we can get him to include you."

"I am not going to help him hurt others."

"I didn't say that, and I am sorry for not being clear. What I meant was that maybe you two could work together on a plan for whatever needs to be done. Maybe together you could come up with a plan that won't involve hurting others."

"Maybe if he didn't use dark magic." She said sitting back in the couch.

"What is it exactly about dark magic that makes you so…passionate?"

She blinked, confused. "What?"

"You seem very passionate about not using dark magic and only using light."

"I've seen what dark magic does to people."

"In our first session Gold said that you can't turn the darkness into light. That it can only be used for light purposes. Do you believe that?"

"Merlin could see the future. He said he foresaw someone using the darkness for light."

"Just now you said 'using', rather than turning. So you do think it can be used for light purposes?"

She sighed. "Maybe. But doesn't that mean it can also be turned to light?"

"Personally?"

She nodded.

"No. Like Gold said, there has to be a balance. And as we have already discussed, while he did use dark magic, he did so without causing anymore trouble or lives hurt or lost when he got Hades to tear up the contract. In my view, that was him using dark magic for light purposes. To save his family."

Belle let out a heavy breath. He was right, sort of. "But it did cost a life. Gaston's. He was thrown…" Belle paused. Archie could see the gears in her head working, figuring something out. Suddenly she let out a big huff and leaned back into the couch. "Dammit." She cursed.

"What is it?" He asked, curious to what made her so upset.

She scoffed. She didn't want it to connect, but it did. "I'm realizing how exactly that happened."

"Gaston falling into the River of Souls?"

"Me and Rumple started to argue because I wouldn't use dark magic. I had told him that to save our child we were going to do things my way, or he could…he could forget it." She frowned. "But that argument led to me walking away…again. And we walked straight into Gaston and so it began. Hades' deal and Rumple and Gaston trying to kill each other and then me pushing Gaston into the river. If I had just stayed and tried to work something out-"

"But you two would have run into Gaston either way. I'm not sure how that connects."

Belle sighed. "It connects because I wasn't willing to try and work with Rumple. I literally told him it was my way or nothing at all. I practically refused to let him do anything unless I approved of it. I mean, I still don't approve of him throwing Gaston into the river. Surely there could have been another way."

Archie didn't remind her how it was her who pushed Gaston into the river. He didn't want to upset her right now. Instead he said, "At the time it was the only way to tear up the contract."

"Actually, it wasn't. Not when we came across Gaston. Hades didn't make the deal with me until after so there was still a chance to find another way."

"Wait," Archie interrupted. "I just realized. If I'm remembering correctly, the deal was that if Gaston or Rumple was thrown into the River, the contract would be torn up."

Belle nodded. "But that was only if one of them did it to the other. But since it was I who pushed him, Hades called the deal null and void."

Archie nodded, telling her to continue.

"Anyways, when we met Gaston he kept shooting arrows at us. So Rumple teleported him and me away. I was mad again because I had just learned that he killed Gaston." She scoffed. "He said it was an arranged marriage and he was doing me a favor. So I told him that I was right and it was mistake trying to get his help."

"What was Gaston like?" Archie asked. Belle looked at him, slightly confused at the subject change.

She smirked. "Dull."

Archie raised his eyebrows. That wasn't what he was expecting.

"My father wanted to set us up to help our kingdom. I told him I didn't want to meet him. From what I heard Gaston was very arrogant and boorish, fancied himself the hunter of all animals. Even women."

"Not your type?"

They laughed. "No." She said. "Of course, when he was trying to win me over he was very charming and polite. Definitely the type of man any girl would swoon over. But I could see through it. However…"

"What is it?"

Belle sat up. "On our first, and only date, we went for a walk. However, it soon became hunt. There was a baby ogre in the forest."

Archie's eyes went wide. Everyone remembered the ogres.

"Soon, Gaston and my father wanted to go hunting to find the baby ogre and kill it. I disagreed. Just because it was an ogre didn't mean it had to died. Besides, it was a baby. What did it ever do? Gaston tried to argue that it was nothing more than an animal and needed to die. I knew he wasn't a good man, but I didn't think he was evil. And I didn't really believe it until I saw it."

"How so?"

"While father and Gaston were trying to trap the ogre and kill it, I went out to find a mirror. It could show you the true nature of a person, whether they were truly good or truly evil. However, I saw something else. Gaston. His eyes were glowing red and after what I read about the mirror, it meant he was evil. I remembered that down in the Underworld."

"But you still tried to save him?"

Belle nodded. "Of course. There's always hope to save someone. But as soon as I realized that even after I saved him from Rumple and he was still going to try and kill him, he wouldn't change. I asked him why he was down there. Only those who have unfinished business go down to the Underworld. I thought it was because of me. In truth, it was because he never got to kill his beast." She said sadly.

She glanced down at her hands, taking a few moments to remember what she experienced in that redden place. "He told me I made him weak."

"How?"

"I told him what I thought a hero was but he said otherwise. He said a hero wasn't someone who showed compassion or mercy. It was someone who showed strength and did whatever it took to defeat their enemies."

"Did you ever love him?" Archie asked.

Belle laughed. "Love Gaston? Never. I could never give my heart to him. He was too…I once told Rumple in the Dark Castle that to me, love was layered. It was a mystery to be uncovered. Gaston, well, I already knew everything about him. But Rumple" She looked off in the distance, a small smile appearing on her face. "He was a mystery. I could never understand him, and while I didn't always agree with him, he was…" She shrugged her shoulders. "He just was. I don't think I could ever understand him."

Archie smiled. "Love is layered. That's a great way to think about it. Maybe you can apply that."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe everything you've been through is just one step in your marriage. There's still so much more to be explored. Even more so now with Gideon. As you said, you don't fully understand him."

"But I would like to. I would like to help him-"

"But remember what I said. Marriage at times has blind trust. It has faith. And Gold has lived for hundred of years as we already know. I don't think you will ever be able to fully understand him or even fully know him. And perhaps there are parts of him that aren't meant to be understood. But that shouldn't stop you. Just because he won't always tell you everything. Just because he doesn't always open up shouldn't cause you to walk away. I think it just means you should be more patient. Whatever scars Gold has, as I said, might be too deep for anyone, you or me, to heal. But you should trust him that he does want to change and do better. That he does love you more than anything and wants to be a part of this family."

Belle sighed. It made sense. "But how can I trust him after everything that's happened?"

"You can't erase the past. You can't forget everything that's happened. But you can forgive. You can forgive each other's mistakes and hurts and help each other move on. Gold is never going to be perfect."

"But I don't want him to. I told him that. I told him that I didn't want him to be perfect. I just wanted him to try."

"To try what, exactly?"

"What?" She asked.

"You're asking Rumple to try but you're not saying exactly what you want him to do. Is it just to be honest? Because from what I hear he has been honest before. But because you didn't like it you walked away. So what else is it you're wanting him to do?"

Belle thought about the question. Yes, she wanted him to talk to her and be truthful. No more lies. But was there something more?

"I…I want to know that…that I'm first."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want it to be a contest between me or power."

"You want to win."

"What? No, I…" She sat back. Did she?

"Why do you think he loves his magic so much?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I can't understand it. In the Underworld he told me that magic was the one thing that never left him."

Archie nodded. "That makes sense."

"But he doesn't need it." Belle emphasized. "He doesn't need magic to be a hero. He doesn't need magic for me to love him."

"Do you hate magic?" Archie asked.

Belle sat back. Did she hate magic? That was actually a difficult question. "Magic...it hurts people."

Archie nodded. "But it has also helped people."

Belle agreed. "But whatever problems we have, whether it's Rumple and I or the town, magic is the cause of it. No matter what it has been, it has always come back to magic. Yes, I agree magic can help people and can save them, but it also hurts people and it's the magic that kills them."

Archie tilted his head. "I don't think it's the magic that actually kills people."

"Okay, right. But the people who use it does. Rumple has killed people before. I'm not ignorant to that and I don't want him to do it."

"Well, of course. He shouldn't and I don't agree with it either."

"So why does he?"

Archie sighed. It was a good question, but one better asked in their next session. He looked at the clock. It was a little over an hour since they began. "How about we talk about that next time."

"You mean, together?"

He nodded. "Is that still okay?"

She frowned. "Sure."

"Okay. I will see you and Rumple in two days."

"Two days?"

"Yes. I think you both need a break and that way you can work on applying what all we've talked and learned about. That includes Gold. Besides, there are a few things I need to do before we see each other again."

"Okay." Belle said, wondering what all Archie needed to do. Did it involve their sessions? But she didn't ask. It wasn't important. So she gave him a smile and said goodbye.

When Belle left she decided to head over to the library. Rumple was at the shop with Gideon and while she would love to see her son, she felt like spending some time alone. Or rather, time away from Rumple at the moment. Talking about magic had gotten her a little...upset, and she didn't want another argument happening or anything. When she entered she was happy to see the library was filled with people. Ten wasn't that big of a number but it was the most she ever got. After the curse no one but her seemed interested in the library and it hurt her, but she also never seemed to have the time to get it up and going either. But now with the arrival of the residents from the Land of Untold Stories, there were more people day after day. Unlike the people of Storybrooke, they actually seemed happy to have a library, learning all they could about this new land. It filled Belle's heart with joy and she was more than happy to help them out.

She walked over to the circulation desk and began putting books on the carts, her mind still thinking about what all she had learned. Magic wasn't the problem. It was Rumple and how he used it. Whenever she used magic it was only to help someone else. Never to harm them. If Rumple could just tell her what he was doing maybe she would understand and find a way to help him. She knows she has asked him before but he always said there was no need.

She sighed, placing the last book on the cart. She headed to the shelves to stack them all up. As she was doing so one of the books caught her attention. It was dark blue with constellations on the cover. She didn't understand why it bothered her until she realized what it reminded her of.

The Sorcerer's hat. The object she was looking for in the Snow Queen's cave and the hat Rumple was using to...Belle sighed again. She didn't know. She never learned what he was trying to do that night. And she never asked him. At the time she never cared. All she could think about was how she found him about to crush Killian's heart. She saw the dagger and grabbed it without thinking. To this day she still didn't regret saving the pirate's life. No matter what he did or what Rumple's reasons were she honestly believed that there was no reason to kill Hook.

Belle put up the book hating what it reminded her of. Half an hour later everyone was gone and it was just her. She didn't mind. She liked the quiet and though everyone already left, she was still happy to know they were using the library whenever they needed it. So she sat at the desk reading over some notes. Apparently some of the new residents left notes asking for some books. She didn't know why they didn't just ask her. Were they nervous to talk to her? Did her husband torment those people as well and they knew her connection with him? She shook her head. No. It wouldn't be right to accuse her husband without knowing. She guessed it didn't matter why they didn't talk to her, just that they were using the library.

As Belle sat writing down the books that were needed the door opened. She looked up and saw Snow. Belle froze. She remembered her sessions and what Rumple and Archie had said. Perhaps she had spent too much time with the Charmings and not enough time with her husband. But all she ever wanted to do was help and she would never regret that. She would never regret offering her help when she could if they truly needed her. And they did. Right?

"Snow, what are you doing here?" She asked the teacher.

"Belle," She smiled. "I was wondering if you were busy."

Belle gave a hesitant smile. "Um, no. Not really. Did you need something?"

She knew it wasn't a book. The Charmings and Regina never came in the library to look for a book. They always simply told her what they needed and she went to research.

They are not that incompetent. It was what Rumple had said and it had Belle thinking. She knew she was good at research and she loved to do it, but she wondered now if that was all they needed her for? Sure she didn't really know how to use magic like Rumple, or Regina, or even Emma. She couldn't swing a sword like Charming and Hook or shoot an arrow like Snow. In fact, she had absolutely no combat skills. All she had was her brains, but why was that wrong? What was so wrong about being smart?

She knew Rumple didn't mean what he said to be like that, but she also knew the Charmings weren't that stupid. They were actually pretty clever when they needed to be. So why did they always call on her help?

"We tried calling you but you didn't answer."

"We?"

"David and I. We were hoping if you would be free to watch over Neal?" She asked, looking somewhat ashamed. But somewhere deep inside her Belle knew Snow wasn't.

Before Belle agreed, she asked, "Um, what for?"

"Well, it's been awhile since me and David really did anything for ourselves and we thought we would go out on a date or something. But we need someone to watch over Neal. Is that okay?" Snow asked.

Belle blinked, her mind working around what Snow was saying. And before she realized it she was asking, "Can Emma not watch him?"

"Her and Hook had plans. And Henry I don't is really old enough to watch over Neal. Besides, I think he was going to do something with Violet."

Belle began to feel sick. Not physically, but the realization of what Snow was actually saying hit her hard. Belle took a deep breath, trying to compose the anger she was beginning to feel. Was Rumple really right, again? Were they really just using her whenever they needed her? She didn't mind watching over baby Neal and helping with research if they needed it, but was that all she was to them? In fact, she couldn't even recall a moment where any of them asked her to simply hang out. It was always some sort of crisis.

"Belle?" Snow asked, pulling the brunette out of her thoughts.

"Oh, I'm...um, I'm sorry. I can't."

"Oh." Snow said. She actually looked really disappointed and before Belle would have felt really bad, but now…

"I actually have my own plans. In fact," She took a another deep breath, "I need to spend more time with my own family. With Rumple and Gideon. I'm sorry. I can't help you guys for awhile."

Belle turned around. She didn't need to do anything but she didn't want to look at Snow either. So she kept herself busy meddling with more books that needed to be shelved still. She could still feel Snow still standing behind her.

"Belle, are you okay?" The princess asked.

Belle looked back. She forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? If there's anything you need you know we can help."

Belle froze. It felt like that was the last straw and she didn't even know it. She searched her mind to figure out why she would be so angry, and then she remembered.

"You have never helped me before." She said as a matter of fact.

"What do you mean?" Snow was completely shocked by Belle's statement. She couldn't understand why the librarian seemed so angry. "Belle, you're our friend."

She paused and said, "I don't feel like it right now." There was more she wanted to say but Belle held them back. She didn't want to be angry right now.

"What does that mean?"

"Just...go. Please." Belle begged. She continued to stare at Snow until she left, still confused by Belle's reaction.

When the library door closed and Belle was once again alone, she sat back in her chair and cried. She felt stupid for many reasons. After several minutes passed she wiped her tears, making sure she didn't look like she was crying, and left to the pawnshop. She needed to see her son.

Belle opened the door and immediately saw Rumple and her son. Rumple was gently rocking Gideon's chair on top of the counter.

"Belle," Rumple smiled, but it quickly left. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She knew Rumple could tell she had been crying. She had hoped that she cleared up all the evidence before she left but Rumple didn't need to see anything. He could just simply tell if something was wrong. She could do the same with him. The difference was, she would quickly let it go. Rumple didn't.

"No, you're not." He stepped out from behind the counter. "What happened?"

Belle gave a sad smile. He was always protective of her and while she did love it, at times, she hated how that protectiveness included trying kill the people who hurt her. She never wanted him to hurt others. Especially not for her sake.

"It's fine Rumple."

He sighed. He was about to make a remark about how she blamed him for not talking, but he knew that would upset her. So he watched her as she smiled even bigger at her son, picking him up in her arms. He always hoped she would be the mother of his child, but he never knew how much he would love actually seeing it.

"What?" Belle asked him after she noticed he was staring at her.

He shook his head, continuing to smile.

"Are you ready to go home?" Belle asked Gideon in a sweet song voice.

As Belle got everything together Rumple noticed the soft redness in her eyes and the glint of a tear stain on her cheek. He wanted assurance that she was okay, that no one had hurt her, but he remembered the last time he pushed. And he reminded himself that he didn't like being pushed himself and so he wouldn't do it again to Belle. If she wanted to talk, she would.

Okay, so I had actually written this chapter once and didn't like it, so I rewrote it and now I feel much better about it. It's not my favorite chapter but it's far better than the first copy. But I hope you like it.

Sorry about the lack of update yesterday. I had gotten all upset because I found myself arguing against a closed minded person who just wasn't willing to try and understand, or at least accept, my viewpoint. So I got all mad again and just wasn't in the mood to write or update. Sorry. But I feel better now. :)

Let me know what you think, please.

Also, when I started this fic and knew each chapter was going to be somewhat long, I didn't imagine for the whole fic to be long. I first quickly envisioned like eight chapters, but now I know that's just ridiculous and isn't going to happen. I don't really plan on it being up to 30 chapters or anything either, but if it does it does.