"Aw man, this is gonna be so good!"
Mantis rolled with his signature laughter as his simian bestie snickered along with a devious grin. The two masters sat up on the top shelf in the student barrack's kitchen, on either side of Monkey's special cookie jar, as the ape shook a more than generous amount of Sichuan peppercorn powder all over the freshly baked almond cookies he'd just refilled it with.
Monkey said, "I'll teach that greedy bear to steal my food!"
Mantis and Monkey continued setting up their little prank and giggling between themselves; it was indeed a great one. So great, in fact, that neither of them even noticed the quiet footsteps of two more certain warriors joining in on the scene. That is, until it was too late.
Shortly, a familiar cough interrupted them.
The pranksters froze.
And turned their heads to see none other than Masters Crane and Tigress, now stood just past the kitchen entranceway. For a good moment, no one moved a muscle. Not even a swish of Tigress' tail broke the stillness. The grins Monkey and Mantis once held were now wiped clean off their faces; and the peppercorn powder rested just above the cookie jar, tightly locked in its wielder's dirty grasp. They'd been caught red-handed.
Finally, Crane spoke.
"Um...okay," he paused, awkwardly enough. "What are you doing to Po's cookies?"
Monkey could have choked.
"THEY'RE MY COOKIES!" he retorted loudly, without a single thought towards the fact that he'd fully exposed the long-kept secret. So lost he was in the passionate little revelation that the peppercorn powder slipped right from his hand in one swift motion. He blinked. "Uh-oh."
And there it flew across the room, sprinkling all over the kitchen and plummeting down to bounce lightly on the floor before rolling to a stop, right by Tigress' foot. She looked up from the little mess to cock an eyebrow in question. Mantis stifled a humored snort.
"Care to elaborate?" she asked, with more doubt than curiosity.
Monkey sighed and hung his head in annoyance at the whole situation. A moment later, he raised up to get Mantis back on his shoulder before jumping down from the top shelf and landing nimbly on the table below, then again to the floor.
He answered, "They're not Po's cookies, he just found them and helped himself! I've been hiding them up there for years. I guess you caught him eating them too?"
"Oh," Crane said. "...Yeah."
Tigress only softened ever so slightly at the question, before she confirmed with a quiet "hmm". When she seemed satisfied with the explanation, Mantis took the liberty of continuing it further.
"Yeah, so we - well, Monkey came up with this genius prank to get him back for stealing them! It's gonna be hilarious!" he chuckled with the words.
The cat then lowered her gaze to the container of peppercorn powder that rested by her feet again. She reached down to pick it up, studying the label for a second and then looked up to Monkey and Mantis again.
"Sichuan peppercorn," she said. She gave a small smile before tossing the powder back across the room to Monkey, who caught it effortlessly. "Nice."
He grinned back. "Thanks!"
He then proceeded to return the powder back to its rightful place in the spice cupboard. The prank was complete, and now it was just a matter of waiting for Po to come cookie-snatching again. Which, knowing him, wouldn't be very long at all.
And indeed, before the sun went down, the painful and piercing shrieks of a peppercorn-afflicted panda echoed throughout the halls of the student barracks, followed closely behind by the hysterics of the ones behind said affliction.
It was a glorious day for Master Monkey...but little did he know...that it was only just beginning.
"When he finally stopped crying, Monkey knew he had no choice but to accept his defeat!"
As the Dragon Warrior prepared the ending to the final story of his first kung fu lesson, his students sat wide-eyed in pure amazement.
The young bunnies had come to their introductory class that day expecting ferocious butt-kicking galore, so of course, what they'd gotten instead had surprised them greatly; but with each story their teacher told, they'd edged closer and closer to the edges of their fluffy little seats. And now, they fervently anticipated the last of the five secrets of kung fu - the secret of Master Monkey!
Po continued with passion, "He stood back up, and hung his head in shame. Then he said to Master Oogway, 'You win. I will leave.' ...But!" The bunnies gasped in unison. "Just as he turned to go, the old master touched his shoulder gently, and said to him, 'Stay. Use your skills for good, young warrior. Find the one thing that you were denied so long ago!'
"Monkey thought about it pretty hard for a minute as he turned back around. Then he looked to Oogway, and asked, 'My pants?'" A quiet chorus of giggles erupted amongst Po's students. He could barely stifle his own, as well as a very satisfied grin before he went on.
"Oogway," he chuckled out. "only laughed softly. And replied... 'Compassion.' "
The Furious Five plodded their way along to everyone's most adored, cherished and long-time favorite event - the Jade Palace's Introduction to Kung Fu class. Or rather, the meet and greet that always took place at the end of it. As per usual...they were all super excited to be attending!
...Not.
Of course, it wasn't that they didn't see the value behind it, or didn't want to meet the kids; they just...weren't usually very mentally prepared to meet...so many kids...all at once.
Alas, it was part of the package, and it was only for an hour at the most.
The longest hour of our lives... thought Tigress, as always.
As they neared the end of the little journey, Viper broke the silence. "Isn't Po teaching today? Do you think he's doing alright?"
Crane smirked. "Oh, I'm sure!"
"Heh! He's probably rollin' around with all those little tykes, knowing him. Shifu shoulda renamed it 'Introduction to Panda Playtime'," added Mantis, earning a second, stronger laugh from the avian master.
Monkey giggled along with them as Tigress and Viper remained unamused by the faithless assumption. Shortly, they reached the door that led to where the classes were always held, and for a moment, they all stood hesitant, unsure of what exactly to expect. The simian looked to his serpentine comrade.
"What do you think, then?" he asked.
She blinked in slight surprise, returning the gaze before averting it forward again, as confidently as possible. "I think he's doing fine. And he's learned a lot since joining us." She paused. "We should try to be supportive."
"Agreed," said Tigress. Crane rolled his eyes, but knew better than to argue, despite his teammates' painfully obvious inability to take a joke.
They entered the scene, and braced themselves.
"Hey guys!"
Po, of course, wasted no time waving enthusiastically to his five best friends from across the palace grounds. Five soft groans rumbled quietly between the masters in response, as they all knew well what was coming now that their presence had been so thoughtfully announced.
Without a second to spare, the whole class of bunnies turned to look in their direction. Big eyes brightened, gasps chorused as the children's smiles grew wide with the utmost excited delight. And in a flash, they were up, bounding and bouncing straight over to their beloved kung fu heroes as fast as their little feet could take them.
The Five braced themselves for the second time. It wouldn't be so bad once the initial chaos was over, but for now, they summoned every ounce of chi they could muster to put towards their bravest faces yet. And then it began.
"Master Tigress, Master Tigress!" the first bunny squealed with glee.
"Master Mantis, show us your Staying Still For A Really Long Time technique!"
"Can you dance for us, Master Viper!?"
It didn't take very long at all, though, before the children's boundless admiration and ecstatic praise softened each master's heart considerably, despite how unprepared they might've been for the little ceremony.
Viper blushed and giggled softly. "Oh! Well, it's been a while, but, I suppose so!"
Mantis, though rather unsure which technique exactly the bunnies were referring to, happily accepted the recognition. "Sure, we'll show ya some moves!"
"C'mon, let's all go back over with the Dragon Warrior, then we can have loads of fun," said Crane as he spread his wings out to usher the crowd across the grounds again. Tigress and Monkey went ahead and gently gestured to help lead them all back towards Po.
The bunnies happily complied as they continued on with their excited chatter.
One of them exclaimed, "Po told us all about you guys! You're so cool!"
"Oh yeah?" Crane chuckled.
Viper chimed back in sweetly, "What all did he tell you, bunnies?"
"He told us how you were born without fangs! But then you became the best ribbon dancer of all time and totally kicked butt!" another of them answered. The serpent stifled a bashful laugh at the compliment, unable to keep her blush from resurfacing. She bowed her head gracefully.
The children then continued honoring the kung fu masters with their own passionate little retellings of Po's lesson; though it was quite clear in some cases that Master Panda had taken a few...creative liberties...to say the least. But for the most part, everything was true enough to its meaning, and the Furious Five were more than humbled by the appreciation.
That is...until Monkey's story was put back into the limelight.
"Can you still beat the pants off your enemies, Master Monkey!?" asked a bunny with a big, delighted grin.
"Yeah!" a second bunny chimed in with a giggle.
Monkey blinked, a bit taken aback at the unexpected question, but mostly just confused. He shifted his gaze around before directing his attention solely to the bunnies again, and even leaning in a bit closer. Awkwardly, he gave a chuckle. "Ahh, what?"
A third bunny answered, "You know! Back when you were bad! None of the mighty warriors the village sent after you ever stood a chance! Cus you beat their pants off!"
"Literally!" the second bunny added with a giddy bounce.
"Until Master Oogway came and defeated you!"
"For he wore no pants," said another bunny in a soft, dramatic voice.
For a moment, no one else made a sound. The ape's jaw only hung open a moment, his brow still furrowed in complete confusion; until finally, a stifled snicker broke the silence. Monkey looked up from the bunnies and back to Tigress, Crane, Viper, and Mantis, who each shared the confused expression, but were also trying their bests not to laugh. Po, on the other side of the scene, took a deep breath and bit his lip as tightly as he could.
"Uhm, what are they talking about?" Mantis asked through a snort.
Monkey shook his head, lifting his shoulders in a dumbfounded shrug. When he turned back to the bunnies, a few of them looked a bit more concerned than excited now. Then one stepped forward to place a gentle hand on the simian's arm.
She said, "It's okay, Master Monkey. Even after all those mean kids laughed at you for losing your pants, you found compassion! Now you don't have to cry anymore! Or beat anyone's pants off, if you don't want to. Your past is behind you."
"Uhh," Monkey blushed, and squeaked ever so awkwardly. "Th...Thanks?"
The Dragon Warrior was nearly in tears from holding his breath at this point, and even to save his own life, he simply could not keep himself composed any longer. He wheezed, choking on his laughter as he stumbled to his hands and knees. His five teammates instantly looked over to him in surprise.
After the short-lived episode, Po swallowed his hysterics and fought to stand back up as quickly as he could (which, honestly, wasn't very quickly). He coughed, "I-I gotta go...now."
As he turned to escape, he stumbled again, still struggling to stifle his laughter. It was then that Crane's eyes widened in revelation.
"Oh!" he exclaimed. "Oh, he didn't!"
The bird cackled along with his words for a second, but quickly came to an abrupt stop upon remembering that Monkey was barely a few feet from him. Monkey, however, didn't move; he only stood in shock at the same realization that he'd been...pranked. Nevermind creative liberties, that silly panda had taken a glorious opportunity to have some serious, albeit harmless story-telling fun.
Viper asked him, "Wait, that stuff didn't actually happen, did it? ...Is this about the cookies!?"
"Aw man! I didn't even think he was serious about getting you back!" Mantis joined in.
Even Tigress was trying her utmost to hide the smile that was now growing on her face.
None the wiser, the young bunnies looked amongst themselves in curiosity and confusion. One of them asking, "Cookies!? What cookies?"
It was certainly a surprising ordeal, for everyone.
Finally, after a good minute, Master Monkey snapped himself out of his mild embarrassment and the shock that he'd been bested at his own art, by the very one he'd never expected would fight back. Let alone actually succeed. Though unfortunately for his new opponent...he did not play games. This was war.
He hesitated no more. "It is on, Panda!"
And with a bold laugh of his own, he leapt up to chase after the retreating prankster.
Notes:
Pre-KFP2.
After seeing Secrets of the Scroll, the thought of Monkey's first backstory being some silly prank of Po's came to me, so I decided to do it. :) Not the shippiest of shorts, but seeing Monkey & Po prank each other all the time in Legends of Awesomeness always melts my gay little heart!
Enjoy!