Yabai Koi Series
A/N: Finally, this is the third and last part of this AU. I'm surprised myself that I was able to update as fast as I did. And now I'm dreading it.
#12
"I like you."
She only realized she had said that out loud when she saw the change in his expression. Surprised eyes looked back at her widened ones, and she could feel her mouth dry up as panic settled in.
"Eh?"
'He heard me. Oh gosh.'
"I-I um… U-Um… that is… about you I…"
She was twisting her fingers, already made numb from holding onto the heavy bag with the ridiculous stuff she just bought. Her brain told her to stop herself before she embarrassed herself more, stop while she could still backpedal. But she couldn't, just couldn't stop her mouth from blabbering away.
"I like you, yes you. I mean, I-I know I'm a teacher and I'm supposed to only be teaching you, b-but I went ahead and fell in love with you." His mouth was hanging open at her confession and she could feel her soul escaping her as she went on and on. "I-It wasn't intentional, I wasn't even planning to like you! But you're v-very charming and kind and I can't help myself from liking the way you smile and laugh… oh my god, I'm so sorry if I'm being disgusting, you have every right to hate me." Hitoka felt that knot in the pit of her stomach finally unfurling as she clenched her fists and finished quietly, "You make me feel like I'm a girl, because no one has ever looked at me, but you do. I just… you just… make me feel special." She finished quietly, her voice was barely above a whisper, and she was already on the verge of tears. From a few feet behind her she could hear a high school couple whisper about them.
"Oh my god, she's confessing! Like seriously!"
"Wow, what if she gets rejected?"
"SHHH! She can hear you!"
Yes, she could hear them loud and clear. There wasn't even a point to their whisper-shouting.
Blood rushed to her face, burning her with undue embarrassment. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, trying to articulate words that her brain couldn't find enough speed to process. When she finally could think for herself, she finished with a meek, "I'm so sorry, just… just forget about what I said."
Her hands trembled as she tied the plastic bag, not knowing what else to do but to ask him forget whatever she said. She could feel him coming closer to her, his shadow from the streetlamp overlapped with hers as he stopped a few inches from her. "Sensei, what did you mean by that?" His voice was an octave lower than what she was used to hearing, and she knew she was in serious trouble.
Hitoka bit her bottom lip, too scared to look up into his face. She was too scared to look at his face, afraid of the disgust that she was sure marring his otherwise perfect face. Letting out a shaky breath, she stepped back a few, distancing herself from him. The big plastic bag was shoved between them to act as a barrier. A barrier to what, she wasn't entirely sure of herself. It was probably more for his sake than hers. She might just lunge at him and kiss him while she still could, and that fleeting thought made her tremble all the more.
She was staring at her toes when she felt something wet drop onto her nape. The sudden coolness of the moisture made her forget all about her previous embarrassment, and that was when she spotted the same droplets wetting the pavement they were standing on. She looked up into his face just in time for the sudden downpour. She jumped at the onslaught of cold rain and promptly forgot about Oikawa who was standing before her, his face a mixture of surprise and confusion.
Using her bag as an umbrella, she swerved around and gasped when she finally remembered he was there. "U-Um… Oikawa-kun!"
He blinked, once, twice, and that was when the rain registered to him. He shook his head, and swept the wet hair covering his forehead. But he still stood there, looking at her. His wavy hair was washed down and he looked like a lost kid, she didn't have the heart to leave him there. Through the sound of heavy rain, she told him to follow her to her apartment. That seemed to really wake him up.
She blushed and cleared her throat when his eyebrows rose and disappeared into his wet hair. "Y-You can't go home like this!" She gave him the plastic bag to hold onto, and he took it without any qualms, still in a somewhat daze at hearing her burst of confession and the sudden cold rain thrown at him. He started a little when she looped her now free arm around his, leading him into the lobby and up the three flights of stairs to her home.
Oikawa was silent all the way, but she could feel his eyes watching her as she unhooked her arm around his and unlocked the door. She called her mom, and remembered that her mother was going to be late again. Instead, a small peculiar-looking malamute puppy came bouncing towards her. He was appraising her slim bare ankles when the puppy excitedly bounced around her in circles. "Oh, um, please come in. And pardon my puppy, she gets excited all the time."
He waited for her to lead the little creature further inside and proceeded to step out of his soaked shoes. "Cute thing." He commented as he joined her in the kitchen.
Hitoka was still in her wet clothes, and had shrugged off the jersey. He lifted a brow when he saw her black inner t-shirt stick onto her body like a second skin, and was a bit disappointed that it wasn't white instead.
He was a male. And he was still growing. So he had been wondering, just like anyone else.
But black was still good, it was a nice contrast to her fair skin.
She was waiting for the water to boil, and for a moment he stood looking at her wondering if she had just forgotten what happened just minutes ago. "Sensei,"
Hitoka turned around, and upon realizing he was still wet, she quickly went into a room. She came out with a pair of grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt a few seconds later, a fluffy towel neatly folded topped the pile of clothing in her hands. "Here, you can change into this while I put your clothes into the dryer. They're my dad's, but he only comes back once in a while." He took the clothing from her, and before she could pull her hands back he caught one in his. "Are you deliberately trying to make me forget? After what you said to me just now?"
The flush in her cheeks returned, "C-Can't you just forget it? I wasn't thinking wh-when I said all those stuff." He was still holding onto her hand, and didn't seem to want to let go of her anytime soon so she tried again. "Why don't you change first, and then we'll… we'll continue." She had to say something for him to let her go, and he did. Just as he stepped into the guest bathroom, Hitoka finally breathed out.
She massaged her temples with both her hands as she walked into the en suite bathroom of the master bedroom, trying to come up with a way to get herself out of the mess. She let her puppy hop onto the bed, playing with the squeaky toy she'd bought just recently, and tiredly stepped under the shower. By the time she came back to the kitchen to make some tea, she had already decided to just go out with it. She had slipped and she just couldn't brush it under the rug, especially after he had heard her loud and clear.
Hitoka cursed her luck. If only the rain had come earlier, then she wouldn't have had blurted out her confession. Her cheeks burned again, so with a sigh, she stood in front of her opened fridge. "Stupid me."
She could hear his footsteps as he entered the kitchen, and turned around to see him leaning against the kitchen counter just a few feet next to her, his palms planted firmly on the cool top and legs crossed at the ankle. "So what you said just now, what was that about?"
She sighed, and leaned against the fridge as she closed it. Her hair covered her face as she looked down onto the toes of her indoor slippers. "Are you going to make me go through the same embarrassment, Oikawa-kun?"
"I didn't hear you just now." He definitely heard her, and he was just teasing her. She looked up into him, trying to glare at him. Only that the fierceness was outweighed by her red cheeks and the little pout on her lips. He nearly grinned, but he refrained. "Come on, you can't leave me hanging like this." He pushed himself off the counter and stalked towards her.
He stopped in front of the visibly annoyed and embarrassed young teacher, just near enough for her to smell the rain on him and the lingering scent of his washed-down deodorant, enough for her to stare back at his chest.
Such a wide chest for a boy his age.
She looked away to cover her burning cheeks. They just didn't seem to want to cool down. "I hate it when you do this to me." His fingers found her chin, and gently he pulled on it until he could see her eyes looking back at him. "Do what?"
"Th-This. Teasing m-me. D-Do you find it funny, hm?" She was trying to appear intimidating, but god help him he found her to be the complete opposite. "But I thought you liked me, Yacchan-sensei." She pushed him away, but he didn't budge that far, if moving a few centimeters counted as a budge at all. "You heard me, didn't you. So p-please… stop making me repeat myself. You hear things like that all the time so you must think it's easy, but it's my first time confessing."
Hitoka turned around, and quickly went to put the two cups of tea onto the table in the middle of the kitchen. "Your clothes need a few more minutes in the dryer, so can you please drink this and go home?" She was pulling out a chair, when he grabbed at her wrist. She collided into his frame when he whirled her around to look at him. His dark gaze that looked down upon hers killed off whatever things she wanted to say then.
"Why do you think I haven't gone out with anyone since you came, sensei?" She blinked, and he sighed as he rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry, okay. I didn't mean to make you embarrassed or anything." He loosened his hold on her wrist, and pulled back to look into her face. "I just want to hear you say it again, because unlike you, who's brave enough to say those things, there this loser here who's too much of a coward to tell you how much he feels the same way."
That moment it was her turn gape at him. He cleared his throat, uncomfortable at her pair of big eyes looking at him. "Against popular belief, I do feel embarrassed too, you know. So can you stop looking at me like that, sensei."
Hearing that, Hitoka couldn't help the little burst of giggle. He was looking at her funnily, and her giggles turned to laughter. She had always seen him as that guy who found pleasure in teasing others, that seeing him feeling embarrassed was a breath of fresh air and made her insides all warm. "You… You are really…"
He didn't know what tickled her, but he decided it was better to see her laughing freely rather than see her angry self. But she was still kind of cute when she was angry. She finally finished laughing, but her smile, her big smile was still there when she dried the tears forming on the corners of her eyes. He was about to reach out a hand to feel her pink cheeks with the back of his hand when she surprised him by holding his face in her small hands instead and tiptoed just enough so she could gently kiss him on the lips. It lasted only a second, but he swore his heart stopped just then.
She pulled back just as fast as she kissed him, and he knew she really was special when she looked up at him. She really was different than his previous relationships. "I really do love you after all, Oikawa-kun."
It had been a little over a week since she confessed to him, since she kissed him.
Kyoko would have called it a gentle bump of the lips, but to Hitoka it was still a kiss. It was her first time kissing someone other than her parents and grandparents.
She had a boyfriend, and the thought of being by Oikawa's side brought a silly smile onto her lips as she stared at the empty computer screen.
"What'cha grinning about, Yachi-sensei." Hitoka jumped in her chair at the sudden intrusion as Oikawa's homeroom teacher walked to her desk. She nearly fell off the swiveling chair, and after clumsily knocking down her pen container twice, she finally composed herself. "O-Oh, I was just thinking about how exciting it is that the spring tournament's gonna be next week." The older teacher nodded, feeling himself smiling as well as she brought up the coming event.
"As Oikawa-kun's homeroom teacher, I'm very happy to see him actually going out to play in an official match. In fact, I'm glad that all of the third years are going. Although I do feel sorry for them to be going to the training camp everyday right after school hours." Hitoka nodded, feeling herself relax a little after her embarrassing fiasco minutes ago. "Yes, I feel so too. But whenever they think that this is going to be their first and last match in high school, I feel that that's what motivates them."
Ever since that night, she hadn't been able to talk privately with Oikawa since the boys had gone off to the training camp on Sunday. The only time she could openly look at him were during her classes, and even then he would be busy talking with his classmates. He had wanted to go to her house after practices that he even called her, but by then it was already dark and she wanted him to rest well. Whenever she told him that, he'd just stay quiet for a few seconds before saying 'Okay, goodnight then.' The way he said it felt like he was upset at her.
The euphoria she had just minutes ago suddenly crashed down, and she frowned when she thought of how upset he might have been. Maybe she was the only one being happy.
"Well being active in sports is good and all, but I hope they don't neglect their studies as well." Hitoka looked up from glaring at the floor, her frown smoothing out a little. Seeing that he had her attention, the middle-aged teacher smiled a little at her. "Oikawa-kun, particularly. He's one of the top students this year has, and I see that his grades have improved since you came here."
Hitoka blinked, "Oh, that's good." She knew it was brilliant that he wasn't falling behind in his academics. Her initial worry about him being upset with her was replaced with confusion. "Um… Is there anything wrong, Sensei?" She asked tentatively, trying to gouge what the older man was trying to get across.
"Well, I am glad that my students, especially Oikawa-kun, are able to keep up their excellent grades even with busy club schedules," he started, and paused as he took a seat next to her using the P.E teacher's chair who had her desk next to Hitoka's. The subtle way he was looking around to make sure no one was near them and busy doing their work confused her, but she decided to wait for a little bit before jumping to conclusions. When he was sure no one was near earshot, he hunched a little bit and continued, his voice a little above a whisper. "But Oikawa-kun's doing a little too good. Even his friends and the other third year regulars haven't improved that much over twelve weeks."
When he saw that Hitoka looking back at him, confusion written all over her face, he decided to push a little more. "Have you been helping him? I mean, meeting up with him to discuss about questions?"
Realization dawned upon her then, and she could feel her heart rate kick up several notches. With a little push of effort on her side, she managed a little smile. "Of course, I'm his teacher after all." She hoped she didn't sound too nervous, but the way he was looking at her as if he knew what was actually going on between those two, she became even more nervous. She could feel her hands start to feel clammy.
"I've heard rumors, Yachi-sensei," She swallowed, and could feel the blood drain from her lips. Hitoka looked down into her clenched hands as her fingers curled a little against her lap. "About him taking you to the infirmary that one time you collapsed."
She nodded. "Ah, that. Yes, he did. Mizoguchi-san offered to carry me too, but he had to keep the other students in line." She hoped he was convinced with that. Even from an outsider's view, one couldn't just think that there was something between them just from that moment alone, now would he?
She hoped so.
"Some students were saying that the both of you talk to each other quite a lot. And you two seem to have a lively relationship. To put it straight, some people think that the both of you seem to be flirting at times." She bit her lower lip. Hitoka couldn't deny that, but flirting? That was probably them seeing her getting all flustered whenever Oikawa would find it funny to tease her.
She tried wracking her brain for something to say about that. She had to. She wouldn't let others say whatever they want. "Well, that's because he's the Captain and I'm the club advisor. We meet up with Coach as well, so…" She was telling the truth. She didn't think people would have said things about them if they had known that. She looked up at him again, and she could feel her body temperature dropping a little at that perpetual little smile on his face.
"You are an excellent teacher, Yachi-sensei, I have no doubt about that. The changes you brought for the volleyball club is nothing less than astounding, but I should remind you that you are still an educator. Your duty is to keep the students in line and be that helping hand for them in situations where they struggle in their life." He sighed a little when he saw her head drop and her shoulders sag.
It wasn't that he hated the student teacher, it was the total opposite. She was almost like a daughter to him even. In the end he only wanted her to pass the training without complications. But in doing that, she had to commit herself wholly to teaching. Everything else should be secondary. Gently, fatherly, he held her shoulder with his warm hand. "Yachi-sensei, you are still young yet you are already doing well as a teacher. But because you're young that you should be more careful. So please, tell me, is there anything going on between you and Oikawa-kun?"
The lunch bell rang, and she waited for the staff room to be empty but the two of them when she looked up into his face, her lips turned up in a little smile. "There's nothing like that, sensei. He's just a student, nothing more. He's just a fast learner compared to the others." For a moment, he considered asking her to confirm what she just said, but he decided against it. He nodded at her, and stood up from his seat. "Alright then, I trust you, Yachi-sensei."
She watched him walk to his desk to place the folders in his hands and pick up his wallet, before walking out of the staff room. Just as he closed the door, her head dropped onto her desk. She could feel tears prickling the corners of her eyes, but she quelled them down. Now was not the time.
That day, she didn't join the boys during practice.
Kyoko could feel her lower jaw unhinge from her skull. It was fortunate that she hadn't wrapped her fingers around the wineglass or else the stem would have snapped in two.
"You what?! Hitoka-chan, please tell me you're kidding." She knew her former underclassman was telling the absolute truth, Hitoka was horrible at lying. And she would never joke about kissing a student. The young woman was too much of a goody-two-shoes for that sort of scandalous act.
At the moment, Hitoka was sitting opposite from her in the middle of the living room. The moment she saw the student teacher at her door step looking like she had cried a river, Kyoko had promptly sat her down at the low table and popped open the cheap red wine she had stocked up for the coming weekend. To hell with weekdays.
"I'm not. I-it just came out, okay. My confession and everything. And I was so happy he felt the same way that I just…" her soft cheeks bled red at the memory before she squeaked out, "kissed him."
Moments after she got around the initial shock, Kyoko gulped down her wine. "How long?" She suppressed her smirk when Hitoka turned even redder than was possible. "Like… a second… I guess."
God, that woman. Seeing Hitoka being so innocent tugged her heartstrings and yet irritated her at the same time. "You could've gone a little longer than that. I mean, you've been fantasizing about him for so long and all you did was peck him on the lips? And you waited for more than a week to tell me this?"
The woman twiddled her thumbs, her eyes staring at her glass of barley tea. "That… well that was enough for me, Kyoko-senpai." Said name sighed, and reached out a hand to hold one of Hitoka's trembling ones in hers. When she had her friend look up at her, she let herself smile softly. "I know." The little smile she was replied with made her smile a little more before she tilted her head to the side and started asking. "So? What's got your eyes all puffy now?"
Hearing that, the small smile dropped and Kyoko saw the tears threatening to fall again. But Hitoka, being who she was, forced them down. She wondered how long had it been since the last the young teacher cried. The last she saw Hitoka in tears was during her and the other third year regulars' high school graduation. Azumane had been too flustered when he saw little Hitoka crying and he almost passed out from trying to think of a way to make her smile again.
"Oikawa-kun's homeroom teacher almost caught us. I mean, even before that, there were rumors about us. I just…" she took a shaky breath before continuing, "I didn't realize people have been talking about us. I feel like such a failure for not noticing that."
She reached for her glass and gulped down half of the contents. Kyoko rested her chin in her palm as she watched Hitoka silently. If she was honest, the situation her friend got herself into was not the older teacher's fault. The whole problem was actually a little of Hitoka's fault for being too focused on one thing and the boy's fault for leading people on. If this Oikawa was anything like Hitoka described him to be, Kyoko could probably guess he was too used to teasing people around him and that this time he had made a mistake and thought that teasing her was just something he usually did to other girls before her.
Falling in love with whoever her heart called out to wasn't wrong in the least. Nor was it wrong for her to fall for her student. But what made things as complicated as they were, was how Hitoka should have acted. Another thing that she was concerned about was how Oikawa said he also liked his teacher. She didn't want to speculate things, but the boy might have mistaken his interest towards his teacher as something deeper when it might have been just a crush. Not a lot of student teachers came in and out of Seijoh, especially young women.
For all it was, Hitoka's presence might have been a breath of fresh air. It wasn't uncommon for teenagers to have a crush on their teachers until they come across someone their age who they would later find even more attractive.
So she told Hitoka that, and it broke her heart seeing the look her friend gave her, but she knew the young woman understood why she said those things. It took quite a while for everything to sink, and when it did, she finally let out a sigh. "But I love him."
"I know, Hitoka-chan," She scooted over to Hitoka's side and pulled her into a hug. "And believe me when I say it's not wrong for you to pursue this relationship, but he's still in school and if everyone finds out about you two then you'd be jeopardizing both of your positions." She felt bad that she was using that card on Hitoka, since she could see how much her friend cared about the boy and that she knew the teacher would do what was best for her student. But seeing a tear roll out of her otherwise bright eyes didn't mean it didn't hurt Kyoko.
"It's unfair, senpai."
She knew. Kyoko knew it was.
It was Saturday. The boys had just finished their last practice before their big match for the next day, and had been excused early. Mizoguchi had wanted them to rest well before the first game. By twelve, everyone had filed out of the school gym. The girls were not using it, so the place was empty. It should be empty, but there stood two people in one corner where Hitoka was used to sitting at during the practices.
She swallowed when he looked at her with his dark gaze. What scared her was not the fact that he'd probably retaliate, but it was the way his eyes looked at her. As if she was deliberately getting his hopes up and then do nothing but to bring it crashing down. It was cold, the way she told him that they should stop seeing each other as other than a student and his teacher. The way he was quiet for a long minute only to ask her "Why."
Hitoka took a step back when he approached her. "People have been talking, Oikawa-kun." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, the bag on his shoulder listing sideways as he shifted his weight to his left foot. "They can say whatever they want. I don't care." She bit her lower lip and lowered her eyes. "If the rumors get out of hand, it's certain that I'll be suspended for a year. I might not be able to continue being a teacher, Oikawa-kun." She dragged her eyes to look at him, and could see the tick in his jaw. He looked angry, he was angry. It was in the way he stood, the way his lips sat in a straight line. "And you're a top student. The principle and your homeroom teacher are both considering to write you a recommendation letter for your future studies. You're even one of the best candidates for a scholarship, I don't want you lose that chance because of the rumors, Oikawa-kun."
"Then we can still go out after I get into college. You don't have to break it off just like that." He ignored the way she was trying to stay out of his reach, and walked towards her. She backed off until he had her back against the wall. The bag on his back fell off his shoulder with a loud thud as he shook it off. "I thought you said you loved me, didn't you? Why the hell would you back off now?" His voice was steady, albeit it being an octave lower. He wasn't liking the way things were working out and she knew that much. She pushed his chest to make some distance between them, and he stepped back about a few inches.
"I do, but I wasn't thinking straight at that time." She looked up into his face, and gently caressed his jawline with the back of her hand. "But you're still a teenager. You might like me now, but when you go out there, you're going to meet new people." When he had an inkling of what she was about to tell him, he held her hand in his and planted both palms on either side of her head, trapping her hand against the wall behind her. "Don't you dare say that." He was glaring at her, but she shook her head.
"You're going to meet new people every day, and you'll get to know a lot of people. You're going to realize that there are other girls, other women better than me." He shook his head, "No, you're not serious." It was hard, but she managed a smile. "Once you find that person, all I'll ever be was a crush. A phase, Oikawa-kun. So please, it's better if you give up on me."
"Then are you saying that you're giving up on me?"
"Yes, because that's what's best for both of us." She wouldn't tell him that he was the first person she felt so strongly for, he should never know that.
The third year setter finally stepped back, scoffing at her words. "Really, sensei? You get my hopes up and then you bring me down like this? I didn't peg you to be that kind of person. All this bullshit you're telling me…" Oikawa picked up his bag, and looked at her. She saw the corner of his lips turn up a little into a smirk, mocking her. "Do you do this to other men too? Luring them like you did me, and then crushing them like you just did?" His words stung her, and when she looked up at him, the tears gathering in her eyes nearly stopped him there in his tracks. But he swallowed that nonexistent lump in his throat and went on.
"Just because you're an adult, you guys think is that I'm not even capable of understanding my own self? Well, news flash, sensei." He walked to the door, and slipped on his shoes.
"I'm not some dumb kid who can't even figure out what I feel for you."
There was no going around it.
He felt like shit.
He had been so angry he had just said whatever came to mind. The sight of her glassy eyes that time nearly had him running back to her, but then the anger overpowered every other sensation that he went and said things that were probably eating her inside out. By the time he cooled down at home, he felt like he had just acted exactly like a kid. He didn't throw a fit, but with the way he had been acting at the gym, he might as well did.
"Oh, Yacchan-sensei's here!"
Oikawa honestly thought after what happened the day before, she would have not wanted to come. But then, she was the one who managed to get the team where they were, so of course she'd see to it herself. He looked up from putting on his knee pads, and could instantly see the toll his words had taken on her.
"Good morning, everyone." She greeted the team with that usual smile on hers, but he had been watching her for so long to know that she was probably putting up a brave front. He knew, since she was avoiding his eyes.
He had dated several girls before her, and he had never felt so bad about the things he said. Most of the time the girls would just up and leave with the excuse that he was too busy with volleyball, and he'd just brush it off. But when she had just told him that they should stop before things escalated, something in him just snapped. She was right, the way things were it was bound to put both of them in trouble, he even acknowledged that the day before she confessed. If he had just calmed down a little more, then he would have agreed with her.
What really got him angry was the fact that she treated his feelings for her as a phase. A freaking phase.
If she knew how torturous the days were when he could only look at her from afar and admire her exuberance, she wouldn't have said that. If only she knew how hard he had tried convincing himself that he wasn't interested at her, only to realize that the end of the day he couldn't get her out of his head, she wouldn't have ever even thought about breaking things off.
If she had decided to break it off with him and cry about it after, then why would she even bother to do that? Just because she was a little older than him that didn't entitle her to bear the burden alone, treating him as if he wouldn't even be able to shoulder half of it. What was he, chopped liver?
And what was with the opponents anyway? They had just played through two matches without him even noticing it. He did break a little sweat, but that was it. Mizoguchi ruffled his head just as he made it out of the court. "Alright, guys. We're gonna breeze through the prelims if you keep it up like this. Right, Yachi-sensei?"
She was busy high-fiving the other members, delighted that they won the first round. For a while Oikawa glimpsed her shining eyes and the big smile she had, and he felt his chest ache a little. What was he going to do with her? She just breezed into his life like it was nothing and then left him all shaken up.
Just as she heard Mizoguchi's voice, she quickly turned around with that smile still on her face. The moment she saw him though, he couldn't help but notice the falter in her smile. Her cheeks flushed a little when she was put on the spot, before she managed to pull herself together. "Um. You guys were really good out there!"
Oikawa fought the urge to pull her to him and keep her all to himself that moment.
The next few hours were a blur to him as they all cleaned up and returned to school for a little meeting for the next match. Their next two matches would be on Wednesday, and Sunday. All of the members thought that that was it, until Mizoguchi announced Yachi-sensei departure just before their match on the next Sunday. The boys protested but still they wished her luck, and the managers cried as they hugged her. They didn't forget to take pictures with her as a memento before everyone cleaned up and filed out of the school.
It didn't take long for Oikawa to catch up to Yachi-sensei when he stopped her just when she exited the convenience store. Her eyes widened, as if she hadn't expected to meet him there.
"Oikawa-kun?" He sighed when he took the plastic bag from her hand, this time noting that she hand binged on ice cream. She was probably going to wolf them down with her pet puppy. "Let me walk you home. You're not getting anywhere dragging this around." She tried to stop him, but his strides were longer and before long she gave up. The walk to her apartment was quiet, and he wondered if they were just going to continue like that until her last day on school.
"I can go from here, Oikawa-kun. Um, thank you." She politely bowed at him, and quickly turned to the entrance. Her journey was stopped short when he tugged onto her sleeve. "Y-Yes?" Her bright eyes looked back at him, her cheeks flushing probably due to the exertion of having to hold her ice cream cups, or probably due to him stopping her. He'd like to think it was because of him.
"When you're finished with your training I wanna ask you out." Her cheeks flushed deeper, and he couldn't help the grin on his face. Her flustered self never ceased to tire him out. If she was going to act like that just with him asking her out, then what was she thinking when she took it upon herself to break things off with him in the first place? "I-I told you that's not possible, Oikawa-kun. You're going to meet new people-"
"You can say whatever you want but I'm dead set about you. Even if I'm like this, I am partly adult, you know."
She looked down into her shoes, and he just loved it when she would nervously twiddle her thumbs. Everything about her just drove him mad. "I'm sorry, I can't do it." Her eyes looked up into his dark ones and he just knew she didn't mean that. She couldn't. Not when she had looked so earnest when she had confessed to him all those days ago.
"One of these days you're going to thank me for doing this, Oikawa-kun." And with that, she left him standing there, watching her hurriedly disappearing up into her home.
She could push him away all she wanted to, but he was not going to have any of that.
"Alright class, I guess this is where we say goodbye. Don't forget whatever I taught you, alright?" The collective 'yes' answered her, and just in time, the bell rang. Hitoka shoved a massive pile of quiz papers into her bag, half-heartedly smiling at the students who greeted her as they filed out. Most of them had taken pictures with her earlier in the morning, and she couldn't help but feel a little guilty for she would leave the volleyball club in the middle of their tournament after all that they have gone through together.
Her eyes swept over the class and she saw Oikawa taking his time cleaning his desk, his movements seeming to be deliberate, even. Maybe he was just tired, the club was having practices up until that morning. She was trying to fit her calculator into her stuffed pencil case when he walked up to her without his bag.
"I have a few questions, sensei." She paused her abuse on her pencil case, wide eyes looking up at him as he stopped in front of her desk.
She didn't know it, but he would have stood closer to her if the teacher's desk wasn't there. That and if there hadn't been others in the class. But she didn't need to know that.
After what had transpired the day before, she was kind of expecting him to be addressing her. He had always been the type that would try to make things difficult for her. But then she found his dark orbs fixed upon herself, and despite everything she said to him that day, she very nearly turned into a lake of goo. What did he want her for? What else was there to say?
"Me?" She asked. Her voice broke from the nervousness, so she cleared her throat and tried again. "A-About what?" She inwardly cringed when she noticed her stutter. Peeking behind him, she was relieved that the students who were still sticking around hadn't noticed.
"About Monday's quiz," he grinned easily at her, as if everything was normal. He was either trying to ease her nervousness, or he was probably teasing her again. Knowing the setter, it was probably the latter. "Was that why you left your quiz sheet empty?" She had to ask, just in case. But then he shrugged. "Probably."
One of his classmates called out to him, and he told them he'd be staying back to ask sensei a few questions, which was entire bull since she wouldn't be teaching them anymore and asking questions at that point was kind of silly. Hitoka was tempted to tell them to just drag him to wherever they were going when they left the class. He turned to her, his grin now replaced by a smile. "I have a lot of question so let's wait until everyone's gone home."
She sighed softly, resigning to whatever fate awaited her. The students bled away, one student after the other, and she almost begged them not to go. To be straight up, she had always been awful with straightforward guys. She was also bad around good-looking guys who played sports. It so happened that Oikawa was both of those. Granted, he was still a few years younger than her, but he was still taller than her, so all the bravado that she was supposed to have for being older dissipated the moment he placed both hands on the edges of the table to lean towards her.
"Okay, let's cut the crap," he smiled, a bright, welcoming thing that took over his entire face, a smile that betrayed his thoughts and his words. "What the hell really happened that day? You didn't think I'd believe you now would I? All that talk about not wanting to be with me after all that burst of confidence when you confessed to me."
"I believed you would understand. I don't know how else I should explain it to you. Even if I'm not your teacher anymore, I don't want to be the one holding you back from meeting the right person for you." He sighed then at her answer, a heavy, morose-sounding thing that she could almost feel. The length of his fingers disappeared into his dark brown tresses. For a moment she wondered how would it feel to be that close to him, feel the heat of his body filling the gaps between them.
She'd say pretty damn good. But she wouldn't know. She would never know. Not after she made her mind.
"I'm sorry, if I dragged you into this mess. But like I said before, it's probably best for the both of us to stop whatever it is there between us." He wasn't smiling anymore, he wasn't even trying to look okay. "Oikawa-kun, you're probably feeling these things about me, but trust me it's just a phase. I know, because I've been your age once."
She immediately regretted saying that, because he was already onto her. He tilted his head as he asked, "Really now? Who was that lucky teacher?" Hitoka blushed a faint pink and coughed into her fist. "N-None of your business, Oikawa-kun." That smile came back, a lazy up-tilt of his lips. He was jealous, she knew. She wondered how possible it was for him to look so disarming in spite of the emotions flitting in his eyes.
"Fair enough. But that doesn't change the fact that this here," He caught her off guard when he pulled her hand and laid her palm on his chest, just above his heart. Beating as fast as hers, numbingly fast. It was like feeling her own heartbeat whenever he as much as looked at her. "This is real. I've thought long and hard, and you can't say otherwise."
She tried pulling her hand away and that just caused him to walk around the desk. He smirked when she gave up. She sighed, "Why would you fall for me anyway?" The smirk mellowed down as he grinned softly at her, a little gleam trickling into his gaze. "Why wouldn't I?" At that moment Hitoka could feel her cheeks rising up in temperature all over again when he swept his gaze over her face, stopping a long moment at her lips before he spoke up, "It's hard not to."
"I-I um…" She turned her face away, in a useless effort to keep him from watching her cheeks get redder. He was probably enjoying it. "Why do you make things difficult for me? I'm trying to move on, Oikawa-kun. I can't do that if you keep doing things like this. It's…" She swallowed, "It's very hard for me."
"Then don't. You're probably thinking I can live without having to see you," the smile slipped from his face. All her willpower was needed to not fling herself to her knees, gather the pieces up from the floor, and reconstruct it back into place. "But the fact is I need you. Yes, fine, I might sound like a kid right now but I can't imagine not seeing you. Not knowing you. It's different this time. Give me a chance for me to prove myself, will ya?"
She guessed at that moment, everything just surged inside her, made her weightless long enough to rise to the tips of her toes and shove her lips to his. The things she had thought of every time she looked at him- how his mouth puckered when he thought, how his eyebrow ticked when he was a little annoyed, how his eyes widened just slightly if inspiration wriggled into his ear- for she knew it was love, it was love that pushed her towards him, suspended enough just to feel his lips against hers for a few seconds when she realized she made a huge mistake.
Her heels hit the ground and shocked her back into reality. It was impossible to articulate just how utterly mortified she was as she watched him blink rapidly, watched his brow collapse in confusion, watch the corners of his mouth pull down into a grimace. What was wrong with her? She was supposed to end this and yet just hearing his voice made her forget her purpose.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
She wasn't completely sure the heady sensation of him against her would've ever been enough to justify the horrified feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"Oh my God," She coughed, staggered backward. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I…Oh my God. I can't believe I just did that. I didn't mean to do that. I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry. I just… what in the world was I thinking, oh my God." She stalked past her desk, past her bag, left it abandoned near the blackboard.
There was no way she was stopping in her trek to get the hell out of the classroom. Her legs were ramen, quivering underneath her as though they'd had a nice long soak in a pot of boiling water. Her face felt like it had been in boiling water, it felt so hot and burning. How could she do that, how on earth could that have happened, what had possessed her to actually…kiss her student?! For the second time?! It was horrible, it was totally wrong of her.
Her fingers wrapped around the handle of the door, and she yanked it open a little.
Then, it stopped. It refused to open anymore, as a strong resistance was holding it in place, open about a foot. For a moment she wondered if that width was enough for her to squeeze out and save her ass. She didn't know, but damn, she was ready to try. She would slither out on her hands and knees if that meant salvation.
"Wait," a voice said softly. She turned around, and she was shaking. She was so preoccupied with the flame that was roaring inside her and baking her cheeks that she hadn't noticed, in her mad dash for the exit, that he'd followed her like a shadow, ghosted behind her without a sound.
His eyes were the first things she noticed. They were so liquid, so molten, that she thought they were going to drip out of his irises and puddle in her exposed collarbone. He was looking down at her with the most complex expression that she couldn't place a single emotion, for they flitted across his pupils too quickly for her to pick one out.
Her touch slipped off of the handle and trembled back into place at her side. There he was, his body mere inches from hers, his presence pinning her to the door. As she let her hold on it fall away, the door rushed shut, and he leaned against it, leaned down toward her.
"What was that, sensei," he whispered, and he felt his breath waft over her nose. Trembles snaked down her back, wound around her midsection like a copper wire charged with electricity. She couldn't breathe and she really thought she was going to die of suffocation. She was going to die, die there pinned to a door by her incredibly attractive student-
Wait…she supposed that wasn't a bad thing?
Suddenly, he was so close that she could feel his hair brushing against her forehead, dancing with her own bangs. The tip of his nose hissed just along the side of hers. If she could pluck up the courage to reach upward, she could have dragged her touch along his strong jaw line, could've felt the velvet skin there that she'd dreamed about kissing again and again.
"You say all those crap about this shitty phase and what not," he murmured airily, hardly making a sound. "And then you go and kiss me like that. What the hell, gimme a break."
"I-I made a mistake. B-but I meant what I said, you should forget about me," She breathed almost the instant he went quiet. She was really into him, it wasn't a simple crush anymore. She wanted him but she didn't want to be hurt in the future. He was all she ever wanted that she didn't know what she would do if one day he realized he didn't really love her after all and instead fall for someone else. She had tried to sound like an adult, saying it was for his own sake but in reality it was for her own sake. Hitoka wanted so badly to let him go, but she didn't want to. Her indecisiveness made her want to burst into a fit of laughter at how utterly pathetic she sounded. She wasn't fit to be a teacher if she was going to have feelings for a student just because he had given her some attention.
But instead, he chuckled softly, appraised her anxious face, and then laid his lips against hers. The touch was hardly there, barest minimum, and yet the fire she felt nearly knocked her to the ground. It lasted a few seconds at best, and she nearly started crying with the perfection of it.
And then slowly, deliberately, he pulled away.
"Shit," he muttered. "I should have done that way earlier if I knew I'd feel like this." Her eyes were glazed with oncoming tears and he felt like a jerk. But that didn't stop him from wanting her to know that he was serious about her just as much as she was about him. "…'I'm sorry, that was really stupid, that was so wrong'... did you want me to say that? Did you really mean it when you said you made a mistake?" She blinked, and a tear rolled off the corner of her eye. Slowly she shook her head. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to say all those things. I just… what if one day you find someone else and you decide you don't want me anymore? I-I don't want that." His hand came up between them to dry away the tears rolling her cheeks. "Why am I crying? Gosh…" She frowned, and he kissed the frown away.
Everything about him made her feel whole again. It felt safer in his arms. She wondered then, why would she even consider forgetting him when he gave her so much to live for. "I love you, Oikawa-kun." He sighed, relieved that they finally came to a close. Never in his life would he have been so patient with a woman. Now that she finally gave in, it felt as if he could do anything.
"So what now? You still gonna play this game with me again? Or are you gonna let me treat you to a date someday." Hitoka was still trying to wrap her head around things. "Huh? A date?" he nearly face-palmed if he hadn't been so near her. "Yep. A date. Like any other normal people do." She blinked a few times before her cheeks colored again when she realized what was happening. "I-I've never been to a d-date before. Um… Are you really okay with this?" She was worrying her bottom lip and he was tempted to bite her cheeks. "With what?" She peeked up at him through her eyelashes. "Well I mean… We can't really go out freely since we're… you know… because I'm… was your teacher and that'd be really weird for some people but um it's not like I don't want to go out with you it's just…"
He had removed his lips from hers, but his body still stayed in flawless proximity; her torso was nearly flush against his, he could practically feel her soft curves against the white inner wear of his gakuran. The only thing wrong with this position was the fact that her lips were busy with spewing uselessness when they could've been busy with something else. Like his.
A strip of brazen insistence made his arm swing downward, loop around her waist, and bring her attention back to him when he pulled her closer against him. He smirked when her words stopped at the closeness "It's not too bad, having my teacher as a girlfriend." The feeling of dating an older woman had that risqué vibe about it that he liked. Always a first for everything.
Hitoka just sort of looked at him, gazed at him, trying to decide whether or not he meant what he said or if he was just going to split right out the door. The indecision in her eyes, her beautiful, gorgeous eyes, was ever so clear like the crystalline of her irises. Helping her along wouldn't hurt, would it?
His fingers knotted lightly into her sun kissed tresses, and he guided her face towards his, wasted no time in placing his mouth completely against hers. It felt like silk, her lips responding tentatively with his, but it seemed that she couldn't stop herself. The hesitation was blatant in her movements, in how she uncertainly placed her hands on his shoulders, but the carelessness began to take over. Abandon, complete caution to the wind burst through her, and he could feel it as she pressed herself more to him, as if they weren't close enough. The hands left his shoulders, and instead her palms curled firmly against his chest, wrinkling his otherwise crisp shirt.
The utter sense of freedom they felt as she began to get into it raged like wildfire through every one of their senses. The light gasps that came from her which he swallowed, sweet anmitsu and her natural decadence on his tongue, her light blue cotton shirt and satin hair caressing his skin, the smell of his deodorant, it all drowned them both in absolute overload that they couldn't get enough of. Hitoka couldn't breathe, but this time it was okay, because he'd stolen her breath away but replaced it with his own. She couldn't care less if she was to die there. She couldn't think straight, but this time it was okay, too, because thinking straight would've ripped her out of her dream and tossed her back into reality where his strong embrace was seriously lacking and the heat of his body was replaced with the cool nothingness of the real world.
Her fingers danced along the collar of his shirt, she tugged at it lightly, played with it. Daringly, she let her tongue poke out, let it swipe along his lower lip, let their tongues dance together, let everything melt away into the recesses of her mind. Nothing existed. It was all gone. For once, she stopped beating herself up, because this one time that she took the risk, it came out right. Everything said it was wrong, it all screamed wrong, but she didn't care. This wasn't wrong. Not just "it couldn't be," or "it felt too right to be," but it just wasn't. It wasn't wrong. For once, she took the leap, and she scored.
He pulled away again, this time much softer, much slower than before. Their lips dared to linger for a breath, and as she had her eyes closed, he thought to himself if she really hadn't dated anyone before. Never had he felt so much from a kiss. For a moment he realized that she really was an adult if she could kiss like she did him just then.
She was afraid of opening her eyes, afraid that the warmth of his was a figment of her dream. Her eye lids slid open against her will. Well, she had to check.
There he was, in all his glory. The sunshine poured in from the window, illuminating a soft circle around his head like a golden halo, his lips parted slightly as a gentle pant slipped in and out of his lungs. She allowed her fingers to wander up to his cheeks, trace the defined bone beneath his skin, and feel the brief increase of warmth under her touch.
"Wow," She breathed, gulping. Did she just kiss him like that? Did she really? "Yeah," Oikawa gave a lopsided smile, still finding it hard to believe that such an innocent-looking person like her could kiss like that. "Wow is right." As his arms bound her tighter to him, she wound her arms around his neck, their foreheads was rested calmly against each other.
"We can't tell anyone, huh," he whispered to her, she could hear the heaviness in his heart as he spoke. "I don't want anyone else to know you can kiss like that." The playful smirk he had had washed away all the heaviness and for the first time since she confessed, she could feel herself smiling.
"Of course," She had to fight the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the young man- there she was worrying about the many ways their relationship would turn south if anybody knew, and there he was thinking of something entirely different- but the sincerity in his eyes, the eyes that had always made her stutter since god knows when, couldn't be missed. He could be smiling and grinning, but that didn't mean he was any less serious. He wasn't joking in the least.
"I'm still scared, but if it's with you then," She murmured as he cupped his palms around her face.
"I think we'll be alright."
"You're gonna say 'because it's Oikawa-kun', right?"
"Yep. Because I'm with Oikawa-kun."
A/N: What on earth was this montrous chapter? i didn't even plan for it to be like this.
Gakuran = Black school uniform
Anmitsu = red bean paste