It was raining hard. Hot, thick droplets ran down her skin and stung her eyes. Blight ran ahead, leading the group through the downpour. Maybe if they kept running, they would outrun the rain. Each heavy breath drew blood into her mouth and it was all she could do not to choke on it. Her foot slipped on a bit of loose ground and she stumbled, feeling Johanna grab her elbow to keep her from falling on her face. The entire jungle was covered in blood and suddenly an overwhelming sense of déjà vu came over her.
Blight was running headfirst into a wall of light, so bright that anyone could have seen it. Before she could cry out his name, he crashed into it and went flying backwards, his body smoking where it landed.
Rini blinked and his body was gone. In its place was a child, lying motionless. The rain ceased and the jungle faded around her as she approached him and fell to her knees. His head was covered in a mess of coppery curls and across the bridge of his nose was a smattering of freckles. Her heart was thumping hard against her chest; she knew she was supposed to recognize this child. Shaking, she put her hands to his motionless chest and began to press down. She pressed down again and again, harder and harder, and cried out in frustration when he didn't wake up. Blood bubbled from the boy's lips and trickled down his cheek towards his ear. His sternum cracked and she screamed when his chest caved in.
"Rini! Rini, wake up!" Leona's voice was suddenly there, along with her hand on Renata's shoulder. Her eyes were wide and full of concern. "You were moaning and you started to scream, are you okay?" She swallowed and looked to her sniffling children.
"I'm sorry," Rini whispered, her throat sore. She bit her lip and looked at the children all huddled together in one bed. "I'm alright, I'm so sorry I scared you." Her brow was covered in sweat and she sat up, pulling the sheet off of her. Her eyes widened when she saw a spot of red on the bedding. "Leona?"
The older woman pursed her lips and she stood up, disappearing from their apartment for a few moments. Rini nearly burst into tears by the time she returned with a sleep-ruffled looking stranger who had to have been their neighbor. With a few words of reassurance to her three children and plenty of kisses, Leona led Rini out of the apartment and to the elevator. "It's not uncommon to bleed a little during pregnancy," She whispered, holding her hand as the floors passed by. "Don't panic, it's more than likely nothing."
Leona had been right: a simple examination proved that.
Rini laid in the hospital bed, listening to the constant lub-dubb of the heart monitor. The sound gave her a strong sense of calm. "Maybe I should stay here," She whispered, turning her head to look at Leona. "I don't want to keep you from your children. Or sleep. I could move into an apartment with Mags, I'm so tired of causing you grief."
"You'd prefer to deprive an old woman of her sleep over us?" Leona asked with a tired smile. "You've gone through so much, Renata. I wasn't expecting you to escape and magically be okay. That's not realistic. Perhaps it was too soon for you to come out of the hospital. What happened to you isn't making your pregnancy any easier," She sighed and gently took hold of her hand, stroking the back of it. "We are your family. We will take care of you. Both of you." She fell quiet, the steady lub-dubb of the baby's heartbeat filling the silence.
Rini watched Leona with tears in her eyes. "Even with what happened to Cecil?"
"That wasn't your fault," she said softly. "I don't blame you for that, and you should stop blaming yourself. You aren't blaming yourself for Finnick getting taken, are you?" Her question was met with silence. "Rini…"
"Do you think he's dead?" She put her other hand on her small stomach, nothing more than a little bump under the sheet. "The other victors too?" She was getting visibly upset and she took her hand from Leona's to fidget with her fingers.
There was a silent pause. Lub-dubb. Lub-dubb."Have you thought of any names yet?" Leona asked, trying to take her mind away from such thoughts.
"What?"
"Your baby is going to need a name, isn't it?" She smiled.
Rini looked at her stomach and licked her lips. "I haven't really thought about that." Maybe that was unusual, but sometimes she forgot about the little being that was growing inside her. Her little stranger. "My mother's name was Irina. And my father-" she made a face. They hadn't been the closest. Her mother had died giving birth to her, so there was another bit of confusing emotion. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't want to make a decision without him."
The women were quiet again and it was as if they were the only people awake in the district.
"Finnick doesn't know about the baby," she whispered after a moment. She closed her eyes and she could see the look on Finnick's face that night in the arena. "When the arena started to fall, I-I thought I was going to lose the baby. He doesn't know that I'm still pregnant." Her eyes opened and found Leona, whose expression was unreadable. "I don't what I'll do if he doesn't come back. I don't think I can do this without him. I can't," she whimpered when Leona started to protest.
"Listen to me. If that does happen, if he dies in the Capitol, then you are going to want any part left of him with you. Especially this. I promise you. I told you that you won't be alone." She could see that her words weren't particularly reaching Rini, but she understood. After Cecil had passed, she had felt the same way. She stood up and put her hand to Rini's face. "I'll tell you what. Tomorrow we'll write to the leaders of the district and request that they arrange a rescue for the victors that were left behind. We'll write again and again and do whatever we can so that they'll listen. If enough people request it, they'll have to comply. For now, I want you to get some sleep. I'll come get you in the morning, alright?" She pulled her hand away from her face when Rini nodded and she sighed, listening to the heart monitor again for a moment. "Get some sleep, Rini."
"You look like you're about to fall asleep on your tray."
Rini blinked and she looked at the boy who had spoken to her, pursing her lips. He was very familiar but she could not place his name no matter how hard she racked her brain.
Seeing her blank expression, he made a quiet noise that had to be a laugh. "I helped you find your room, remember? The elevator?"
"That's it! Sorry, I don't think I ever got your name."
"Gale. And you're Renata?" He nodded in affirmation and looked over his shoulder before motioning to the spot beside her. "Is that saved for anyone?" He sat when she shook her head and pushed his food around his tray with his fork. "How are you?"
"I've been better," She shrugged and looked at her hands. The tips of her fingers were raw and peeling from her laundry work. "I never want to see a pair of dirty underwear ever again." She looked up when Katniss appeared on Gale's other side, giving her a small smile when their eyes met.
"Dirty underwear?" Katniss raised a brow.
Gale grinned. "Renata works in laundry."
"They're making a pregnant girl work?" She looked at Rini's hands, at the raw skin of her fingers. "Isn't it dangerous for you?"
She shrugged, spooning a bite of food into her mouth. "It keeps me busy. I suppose that's what matters the most." Immediately after she finished speaking she felt as if it had been the wrong thing. Wasn't her baby the most important? "I-I mean it's not as bad as some of the other jobs." She could feel both of their eyes on her and she kept her head down, her cheeks burning.
The dull murmur of conversation in the room stopped when the screens in the canteen suddenly came to life, Panem's fanfare sounding. Caesar Flickerman appeared, looking serious for once, and Rini furrowed her brow. What was this?
"There has been rapid speculation about what really happened in the Quarter Quell," he started, "and here to shed a little light on that subject is a very special guest."
Her heart was pounding faster. A special guest? Someone that had been in the arena? Everyone in the canteen was still and Rini could feel her palms were slick with sweat. Could it be Finnick?
"Please welcome Mr. Peeta Mellark."
Selfishly, her heart sank. She felt rather than saw Katniss rise from her seat and hid her face. What did this mean? Peeta looked to be in good health, was it possible that everyone else was alright?
"Peeta, a lot of people feel as though they are in the dark. So set the stage for us; talk us through what really happened on that final controversial night."
Renata held her head in her hands, feeling panic start to swell in her chest. Peeta's interview was a dull sound in her ears and she couldn't concentrate on the words. If the others were okay, why had they chosen Peeta to appear to them? It wasn't any accident that everyone was watching this. This had to be showing in every district. And suddenly, so obvious that she was ashamed, it dawned on her why Peeta was speaking. She lifted her head and found Katniss standing in front of one of the screens. It was all for her. To spur a response from the Mockingjay.
"I want everyone who is watching to stop and to think about what a civil war could mean. We almost went extinct once before and now our numbers are even fewer."
The people in the room started to murmur, unsettled by his direct address.
"Is this really what we want to do? Kill ourselves off? Killing is not the answer. Everyone needs to lay down their weapons immediately or else-"
"Traitor!" Someone yelled. The murmurs had grown louder and the anxiety in Renata's chest was bursting into full blown panic.
She got up from her seat and hurried out of the canteen, feeling her way along the wall. She needed to find an escape. Her feet carried her blindly down stairs, past the apartment levels and into places she'd never been before. Her breath came in quick gulps of air and finally she stopped, huddling in a dark corner. She clutched her chest and tried to calm herself, not able to feel anything but the panic.
A hand touched her shoulder and she shrugged it off, whimpering. "Leave me alone," she whispered.
"You look like you could use a drink, sweetheart," a gruff voice muttered behind her. She turned and she didn't remember him having such dark circles under his eyes before. He gave her a tight, pained grin. "Me too."
"This way," The guard nudged Finnick in the opposite direction of his normal path to his torture. "Not today."
Finnick pursed his lips and he limped a little, knowing better than to ask. He stepped into the elevator and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes for the short ride. When the doors opened he was led down a wide hallway and finally into a small room. The door closed behind him and he found himself all alone.
The door on the wall opposite him opened and a guard appeared only for a moment to deposit an unconscious Johanna on the floor.
His heart pounded faster and he waited until the guard had left before going to her, falling to his knees and putting his gnarled fingers to her neck. Her pulse thrummed beneath his fingers and he breathed a sigh of relief. "What have they done to you?" He whispered. His fingers gently touched her shaved head, moving over the purple and green bruises that covered her skin. He took off his dingy shirt and covered her with it, sniffling quietly.
The door behind him opened again and he looked over to see a guard walk in. He clutched a briefcase and brought it to a table, setting it down.
"What did you do to her?" Finnick asked, against his better judgement.
"Electroshock therapy. She's a tough one to crack. Like you," The man murmured, opening the briefcase. He pulled out a syringe filled with a brightly colored liquid and the sight of it alone made Finnick's heart race. "Take off your pants."
"Why?"
"You're going to have sex with her."
Finnick's nostrils flared and he set his jaw. "No."
"President Snow thought you might say that," the guard sighed, taking the cover off of the syringe. "So he offers you a choice. You can have sex with the girl, which shouldn't be a problem for you, or you take this shot. It's a pretty potent pain serum. We had to take it ourselves during our training and it was…" He trailed off and shook his head. "It was bad enough in a small dose."
He looked from the syringe to the unconscious girl in front of him. The guard was wrong; it would take all of him to do that to Johanna. He would never be able to take it back; he would never be able to forgive himself for doing that to her. Especially to save his own skin. "No. I won't do it. Give me the shot."
The man gave a heavy sigh, as if he really cared for Finnick's wellbeing. "Okay. You're in for a rough night." He stepped over to him and carefully administered the shot before packing up and leaving. "Try not to hurt yourself too bad. Remember, it's all in your head."
The door closed and locked, leaving Finnick and Johanna alone again. He stared at her face, how relaxed it was. He stroked her cheek and sighed, his heart pounding in his head. How fast would the poison work? Perhaps the guard was lying and trying to get in his head? However, he could already feel an odd tingling sensation in his fingertips. It moved up his hands and started in his feet when he pushed himself away from Johanna, increasing in its intensity. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead and he swallowed, resting his back against the cool wall. It didn't stay cool long as the burning moved up his torso, evoking a groan of pain. His heart beat seemed to beat impossibly fast and he clutched his chest as the burning enveloped it.
"Help," he rasped to no one in particular, clawing at his throat to try and keep it from being scorched. He was screaming before it reached his head, hands flying to hold it. The pain was blinding and was somehow getting worse with each passing moment. Finnick was only vaguely aware of his body as he rolled around on the floor, body contorting as the pain assaulted his body. He slammed his head against the wall, trying to get it out of his head. It was all in his head. It had to be in his head.
After what seemed like days, the pain started to lessen. He moaned softly and choked out a sob, laying drained in a puddle of his own sweat. His arms were numb and he hugged his chest, making no other attempts to stop his shivering.
"Finnick," a gentle voice said.
It was fuzzy in his ears and he couldn't lift his head, let alone open his eyes to look at the speaker. He flinched when a hand cupped his chin and he finally opened his eyes, blinking a few times.
"Rini," He croaked, opening his eyes and holding her gaze. "It hurts so bad. I can't take it anymore. It hurts." He was blubbering like a baby, but she didn't seem to care. She moved him so he was cradled in her arms, his head in the crook of her elbow. Her hands had always felt good on his skin, but it was even better as she touched him. Her fingers smoothed down his neck and across his brow. As much as he didn't want to take his eyes off of her, they fluttered closed. His aches and pains subsided at her touch and he moaned softly. Pain was all he knew and to feel this again, this gentle loving touch, was indescribable. Tears rolled down his face and he struggled to keep his crying silent. "You're not here," he moaned, his brows knit together.
"I am here," Renata whispered, her lips pressing into his throbbing temple. "Look at me."
He opened his eyes and suddenly it wasn't Rini holding him, but his mother. He favored his father mostly in his looks, but those green eyes were all his mother. "Mom," he whispered, tears blurring his vision. His arm was heavy but he lifted it to touch her cheek, her skin soft against his tingling fingers.
"What did you call me?" She asked, her voice belonging to another.
Finnick blinked and he was looking up at Johanna. She had him cradled in her arms and the two of them were still in the empty room. "Johanna?"
"What happened to you?" She asked, her voice shaking. He had never thought that being held by her would feel so good. "I woke up and you were hitting your head on the floor. I tried to stop you, but you couldn't see me. You couldn't hear me, you were gone."
"They wanted me to have sex with you. While you were unconscious," he said in a small voice.
The look in her eyes was the one he had expected to appear and she pursed her lips. "Oh?"
"Either that or take a pain poison."
Her eyes widened and he could see tears in her eyes. "Finnick," she whispered, shaking her head. "Why didn't you just do it?"
"You would have never been able to look at me without that look in your eye. I couldn't lose you, I couldn't do that to you." He swallowed and closed his eyes when she pressed her forehead to his.
They stayed together for a few quiet moments before Johanna sighed.
"Hopefully they'll give up and kill us soon."
Hey there, strangers. You know what sucks? Writer's block. This has been the most agonizing time for me, I've been so uninspired! Finally I was able to sit down and crank this out! I hope that you enjoyed it, I apologize if you were mentally screaming at me to update! Pray circle for all of us as Mockingjay part 2 approaches...I'm not ready.
Let me know what you thought, if any of you dear readers are still into this story!
-Kelsey x