A/N: This chapter is very, very dark and very messed up. This is what happens when I'm left alone while my husband goes night fishing and leaves me with a bottle of wine in the condo at the beach during a rainstorm. Note: Mentions of potential rape in this chapter, graphic.

Pandemonium

It had been over two days since she had received the phone call that had changed her family's life. Jonathan was gone, kidnapped during the middle of the day in the lobby of Queen Consolidated where everyone saw. Not only were SCPD involved but now the FBI was getting involved and also getting involved with the family business. Everyone was on pins and needles, especially her father. To say he was mad was an understatement, the man was unhinged and had snapped at everyone including her. Her mother was working non-stop trying to find any digital lead, the cans of energy drinks, the empty cups of coffee and the junk food were strewn across her desk. Hope herself was running on empty and had sat down on the couch in her father's office as he talked on the phone and felt herself nod off. 'Two minutes' she told herself. The sound of the door slamming open had her falling off the couch and the covers flying offer of her as her gun was aimed at the door, at her mom. She quickly adjusted herself and holstered her gun.

"I found him," she said, her voice thick with emotion.

"Where?" her father asked quickly walking over to her. Hope's cell phone rang. "Go ahead, I'll fill you in."

"Hello?" she said into the phone.

"Hey beautiful," it was him, it was the son-of-a-bitch who took her brother, she froze her back to her parents. "Don't make any moves to alert anyone, don't say anything out of the ordinary or your brother and your husband die. Do you understand?"

"Yes, okay."

"You need to come by yourself to the address I'm going to text you, no cell phone nothing out of the ordinary or they die. Understand?"

"Yes, perfectly."

"See you soon babe," he said the phone going dead.

"Bye," she said hanging up and turning around to her parents.

"Everything alright?" her father asked, his left eyebrow arched in concern.

"Fine, just results from some feelers out in the field. What did I miss?"

Soon she was filled in with the information and that her Uncles and aunt were on their way to the house now with teams to get Jonathan back. She excused herself and went up to her old bedroom and sat down on her old bed. She sighed, picking up a piece of paper she wrote the note to her parents and a note to Nick. She gave them the frequency to her tracker that couldn't be removed and apologized profusely but she would do anything to make sure both her husband and brother were safe. She signed it with "Love, H". She wiped the tear that fell from her eye as she placed her gun on the bed on top of the notes and her cell phone. She took off both her engagement and wedding band and placed it on top of the note for Nick.

She stood up straight and walked out the door and down the stairs and out the front door with no one really noticing. She got into her SUV and took off out the gates and towards the location he had given her via text message. She gripped the steering wheel a little tighter than she should've but she just wanted them to be safe.

Nick walked into Oliver's office noticing everyone was there, Sara walked passed him and sat down next to Roy. He looked but didn't see Hope anywhere, the warning bells in his chest were going off. He pulled his cellphone and noticed there were no missed calls or text messages from her. Oliver was pulling up the satellite imagery from where Felicity had found Jonathan.

"Where's Hope?" Nick asked.

"She's probably asleep in her old room," Felicity said.

"I'll be right back, she wouldn't want to miss this."

"You're right," she said smiling at him.

Up the stairs to her old bedroom he found the door closed, he frowned. Knocking and calling out her name didn't work so he just walked in. That was when he saw her gun on top of some pink paper and her wedding bands and her cell phone. He rushed over and grabbed the note that said 'Nick'. Opening it and reading it made his blood boil.

Nick,

I'm so sorry he has you and Jonathan this is all my fault if I do this you and my brother will be safe. I hope you find this if when you both get back home. Take care of my parents and my brother if by chance something happens to me, they'll need you. I wish we had more time together. I love you more than you will ever know. Live for me okay?

Love,

H

He was mad, somehow he was able to contact Hope somehow and make her believe that he was kidnapped and was going to kill him. She had left thinking she was trying to save him. He grabbed everything on the bed and rushed downstairs, Oliver froze and stopped speaking as soon as he saw what was in Nick's hands.

"Everyone out," Oliver said, well more like growled. Once it was just the close ones of the security team Oliver spoke up after reading his note. "How the hell did the guards not see her? Why didn't anyone stop her?"

"Nick, let me see her phone," Felicity spoke up. Nick did as asked as she hacked into her phone and read through the phone numbers and text messages. "Oliver," she said handing Oliver the phone.

"John, get a crew. We're getting them both back now," Oliver said.

"It's not your fault Nick," she said breaking him from his thoughts.

"I shouldn't have left her alone," he said his body vibrating with anger.

"You would've never known she was going to do this. You left her here. Just know she's thinking she's saving your life," Felicity said standing up.

"Felicity's right Nick, you would've never known. Now, suit up, she'll need your head in the game son," Oliver said. Nick nodded and stepped out of the room closing the door behind him he saw Oliver hug Felicity, kissing the top of her head. He couldn't wait to have his Hope back in his arm. He rushed to the artillery room and suited up alongside Slade, Sara, Roy, John and some men who were going with. As he laced his boots and said a silent prayer that all would be fine and they would get both back in one piece.

Hope pulled off the highway and followed the car's GPS to the address he had given her. Pulling down a dirt road she continued following the directions until the road stopped in front of a house that looked like it belonged in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. She pushed the ignition button and took a deep breath before getting out of the car and walking up the old path and up the steps she swore would buckle under her weight and up to the screen door. She opened it and the hinges creaked loudly sending a chill up her spine. Before she could knock the door opened and there he stood, Ian or Pavel, the man who haunted her dreams so long ago. He smiled at her almost like a Cheshire Cat sending goosebumps across her skin.

"Hello beautiful, why don't you join us?" he said motioning for her to come in. She took a step over the threshold and he quickly slammed the door behind him making the house shake as he got to setting the locks, not deadbolt locks but keyed locks. He was going to make sure she couldn't get out. Her stomach rolled as the nausea and the panic began to fill her. "Now, that's all taken care of, why don't you give me some sugar," he said getting close enough to her she could feel his hot breath on her skin.

"No, you release my husband and my brother then it's whatever."

"I did promise you that, didn't I," he said as he walked into a living room area where there handcuffed and duct taped to a chair was her brother battered, bloody and bruised.

"JONATHAN," she screamed as she rushed over to him. She got on her knees in front of him waking him up, his eyes were big and he was trying to say something to her through the duct tape over his mouth. She felt the prick and then the sting and didn't even get a chance to say anything before she fell to the ground unconscious. Jonathan tried against his restraints to no avail.

"Oh dear brother, don't worry, I'll take good care of her," Pavel said caressing her cheek. He picked her up and carried her out of the room leaving a screaming Jonathan behind him. All Pavel could do was laugh, he was finally getting what he always wanted. Down the hall he carried her into a room that had a mattress on the floor and fresh sheets. He had bought the pale blue sheets from the Goodwill in town, he thought it was perfect for their first time. The blue would also soak up her blood better and he could see his masterpiece better.

He placed her on the mattress and stared at her smiling, the twitch in his pants was reminding him of his carnal needs. He closed the door to the room and locked the heavy wood door. He took off his overshirt and then his t-shirt folded them and placed them on a chair. He then moved over to her. He took both of her hands and duct tape them together and placed them above her head and took a piece of rope to hold her hands up and tied it off to the classic radiator in the room. He took a piece of duct tape and kissed her lips violently before placing a piece of tape over her lips.

Walking over to the window he looked out through the iron grill and smiled. Today, all of his dreams would come true. She would be ruined after this and if she would've just done as he asked so many years ago they wouldn't be in the predicament. He took his shoes off and his pants and folded them and placed them in the pile. He reached down into a bag and pulled out some tools he would eventually use on her and placed them on the floor next to the mattress. He pulled out another syringe with an amber looking liquid. Again he walked over to her and methodically took her clothes off, sniffing each garment as they came off of her, leaving her completely naked and to his mercy. He slipped the needle into her arm knowing it would take a while for her to feel the effects.

He took her left foot and brought it up to his face and licked her toe and slowly sucked on it. He had many fantasies of doing this before but never got the opportunity to act it out. Her hot pink toenails did something to him making him grow hard, a small moan had him look down. She was coming out of her drugged stupor. Her eyes slowly opened and through her glasses he could see when she realized she was tied up and naked. She fought for a moment but froze when he picked up the rusty knife from the floor and pointed at her.

"Now be a good girl or this is going to hurt," he said menacing her with the knife placing the flat part by her eye so she could see the rust and smell it. "Now, years ago you teased me for months and I'm now going to take what I want from you and leave your body for someone else to use. Maybe I might sell you off to the highest buyer I can find so your little family can never find you again. Oh and before you even ask, I've already killed both your husband and brother. No one is coming to save you," he said laughing as she cried and screamed. "Now stop moving, I'm going to enjoy this."

His right hand traveled up her calf and gripped her thigh so hard she could feel the bruise already forming. He forced her legs open and positioned himself in between, she was panicking she was gasping for air as her vision became blurry. He leaned down so she could feel his erection on her lower stomach as he took his left hand and teased her breasts while his other hand continued roaming up her thighs and to her core. Taking her nipple in his mouth and sucked and bit so hard he drew blood, his right hand teased her outer lips and then he shoved two fingers into her wet heat making her head go back as she screamed.

He was relentless with his torture, his hand slid down from her core, wet and found her puckered hole and didn't even give her a chance to adjust as he thrust in. She screamed and screamed and cried to no have no one hear her. He was enjoying this, he was truly enjoying being able to touch her wherever he wanted without her being able to fight back.

"God you're so tight. I can't wait to have you completely," he said standing up. She watched him stand up and drop his boxers and then smelled his fingers. "Mmm."This was going to happen, her brother was dead, her husband dead and no way her parents had found the notes already. This was a mistake, a huge colossal mistake, she thought shaking her head no. She felt the mattress dip again and she was experiencing a full blown panic attack and could no longer breathe. The black spots welcomed her as she saw his figure position himself at her entrance.

Following the directions Felicity had given them they pulled up to see Hope's electric blue SUV sitting in front of an abandoned house. Within minutes they were all surrounding the house ready to storm it. That they did, they found Jonathan tied up in the living room and Oliver ripped the duct tape off of him.

"He has Hope in a bedroom, you have to get to her I couldn't save her I'm so sorry," he said through tears.

Nick took off down the hall and found one room with door closed, between him and John they used their shoulders and brought down the door. They found a naked Hope unconscious in bed, blood between her legs and a naked Pavel holding a gun to her head.

"She's mine now, I've had her. I've used her in all the ways you've never had her before," he said. "Now leave before she stays asleep permanently," he said as a scream escaped his lips. John had shot through the hand holding the gun leaving him writhing in pain on the floor, John kicked him in the face knocking him unconscious and kicked the gun away. Nick rushed to Hope, anger soared through his body, taking off his jacket he covered her nakedness.

"Hope come on babe, open those eyes for me, please," he said as he leaned down to feel for a pulse. It was there and fast, too fast, he saw a syringe on the floor and knew he had drugged her. "Her heart rate's there it's really fast John, we need a bus," he said looking up to the older man who was pissed. John pulled his cellphone out and called for a bus. Oliver walked into the room with a hurt Jonathan and with Slade behind him.

"Is she?" Oliver began to ask.

"Alive? Yes, we have a bus on the way," Nick answered stroking her face.

"Hope, I'm so sorry," Jonathan said looking down at his sister.

The bus arrived and soon was taking her to the hospital along with Nick and Jonathan. Slade, Oliver and John followed in their own vehicle. Sara and Roy went to pick up Felicity to bring her to the hospital. Everyone was somber knowing what happened to Hope. A small crew of trusted men stayed back with Pavel awaiting SCPD to arrive to take him into custody and get his hand looked at.

It had been four hours and thirty seven minutes, Nick noted looking down at his watch for the hundredth time. Felicity's right leg was bouncing up and down, her nerves clearly evident and Oliver sat staring into the abyss. The door opened and in walked a Doctor with a nurse on his heels. Everyone stood up knowing he was here to give them an update on Jonathan and Hope.

"Let me start with Jonathan, he's going to be fine. We're going to keep him overnight with IV fluids to flush out the drugs used on him and to rehydrate him. He has a few bruised ribs and a few cuts to his face but he'll be fine."

"Thank God," Felicity said letting out a deep sigh of relief. "Hope?"

"You all may want to sit down for this," he said to the group motioning to a group of chairs in the back of the room. They all sat down as he took the chart from the other nurse who was pale. "Mr. and Mrs. Queen, Mr. Leonhardt, I've worked at this hospital for over twenty years. This is the worst case I have ever seen. " Felicity gasped covering her mouth and Nick's head dropped as he fought tears that were forming in his eyes. "There was signs of violent sexual trauma to one area and not to the other, there were cuts made to her inner thigh and abdomen that were jagged, we've flushed them and stitched the cuts on her thighs. The wound her abdomen wasn't too deep so it will heal on its own. We've started her on a few treatments and would like to start on other treatments that we typically do for victims of sexual assault."

"Whatever it is do it," Oliver said his voice laden with emotion.

"First we will start her on an anti-pregnancy round to make sure she does not become pregnant. Her chart shows she has been on birth control for the last few years, is that still the case?"

"Yes," Nick responded.

"Okay, that's good. We will also start her on a course to make sure she does not receive any sexually transmitted diseases. The man who did this has already been tested but did not show positive for any of them according to the lab but I always like to be safe. Is that course of action okay with you Nick?"

"Yes, I just want my wife back Doctor," he replied his voice breaking.

"You will son, I have her OB coming after she delivers the baby on the maternity ward. I also have a call into a colleague of mine who specializes in women who have been sexually assaulted, who will be by tomorrow to help with the police to take her statement. Now, in most of these cases it takes time, she will be upset very easily. Smells, anything can trigger an episode. Things may get worse before they can get better."

"We know," Oliver and Felicity both said at the same staring at each other. The memory quickly making its way to the front of both of their minds, he had saved her before anything had occurred but the psychological effects lasted a greater part of a year.

"When can we see her?" Nick asked.

"I don't think all of you visiting tonight would be a great thing but if you three will follow me and Nurse Dana we will show you to their rooms. I hope you don't mind but we put them in rooms next to each other."

"That's perfect, thank you Doctor."

They followed the Doctor and nurse leaving the rest of the crew alone in the waiting room, down the hall the nurse showed them Jonathan's room and Hope's room. Jonathan was asleep but Hope was awake, her head turned to the left facing the wall. Her eyes were red and puffy and she had and IV line sticking out of her hand. Oliver and Felicity let Nick visit with her first, knowing they would need some time alone. He walked over to the bed and she looked at him. The look on her face was something he would always remember. It was a mixture of hurt, shame and love, before she could say anything he wrapped her in his arms as she cried. After a while she calmed down and he know there was a shift.

"Go," she said. "I'll give you a divorce," she said looking away, Nick froze and stood back.

"What? Why would you say that?" he asked the hurt evident in his voice.

"I'm not pure anymore, I'm not what you want. I'm used," she said her head bowing down, her voice breaking.

"Hey," he said a little louder than he needed. "Hope, look at me right now," he said making her look at him. "I don't care, I want you. I don't care about anything except you. You are my world, you are my life. Without that I am nothing. We can get through this together, understand?" he said leaning down cupping her face so she was forced to look him in the eye. "I love you, we can get through this together we're going to get through this okay? Through better and worse."

"You still want me?" she asked.

"Honey, I'll want when we're both ninety years old. No matter what, we're a team, we're partners."

"Okay. I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be. I love you."

"I love you too."

The door opened slightly and in walked Oliver and Felicity, Felicity couldn't hold it in anymore as she rushed the bed hugging her daughter tightly as they both cried. Nick took a step back as Oliver came on the other side to hug her and have what Nick has missed for a very long time. Family.

The road to recovery for Hope was a long one, there were plenty of times she was frustrated at herself not being able to defend herself from Pavel. But it had been six months. Nick and her were strong but they hadn't had sex in a long time and she was ready, she thought. Her blood work had come back clean and she was ready. Right now there were sitting in a private room inside the Starling City Prison. Pavel refused to talk to anyone only her. She was nervous, that morning when she dressed in jeans, a black baby doll top with a floral design and her black boots she had to take deep breaths.

"Hope, he's ready for you. He's handcuffed to the table okay?" Captain Lance said to her motioning for her to come. She looked back at her father, brother and her husband, she squeezed Nick's hand one more time before she went through the door as they stood behind the tinted glass listening to all he had to say. When she walked in that same Cheshire Cat smile was there her skin erupted in goosebumps. His piercing blue eyes following her as she sat down across from him, her now long blonde hair straight and pinned back into a ponytail.

"Hello love," he started.

"I am not your love. What the hell do you want from me?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"Where are you glasses? I missed the nerdy look on you."

"None of your damn business. What do you want from me Ian, I mean Pavel."

"I've missed you, so much. Have you missed me? Have you yearned for me yet?"

"You're a pig," she said standing up to leave.

"Don't leave," he pleaded.

"You're wasting my team. You're where you belong in prison, for life. If it were up to me you would be dead. I would've killed you my damn self."

"Don't be like that baby, you know I love you with all of me. Do you get the letters?" he asked. She froze, she hadn't read them just tossed them when they came in the mail.

"I have, why?"

"There's always a little bit of me in those letters for you."

"Pavel, I'm leaving. I hope you rot in hell," she said spitting at the floor.

"Don't you want to hear what happened to you?" She turned around and stared him down, she wanted to know. She had desperately wanted to know all these months what he truly did to her. "I know you do, if you're a good girl and have a seat, I'll tell you all about it." She sat back down and crossed her arms over her chest staring him down.

"Speak."

"When you got on your knees in front of your brother and were crying out his name I truly wanted to hear you cry out my name instead. I knew you had too much fight in you so when I saw you like that I just gave you the shot I usually gave your brother which didn't take too long to affect you, I only gave you a little bit of course. Then I carried you to our bedroom," she cringed when he said the word 'our'. "The sheets were nice right? I bought those at Goodwill, that had to do. I placed you on the bed and then sniffed all of you. You smell of roses and something else I couldn't put my finger on it. What is that?"

"I don't know. You'll never find out though. Now stop bullshitting me and tell me what you did to me."

"You were awake for a little bit and God when you cried through that duct tape it was the sweetest sound I have ever heard. Then the other drugs I gave you took hold and with you panicking and your blood rushing through your body faster than usual it didn't take long. I took my time tasting you of course, then I heard the loud noise and knew somehow they had followed you so I sliced you and told them I had all of you. But I wanted to, I should've and then I should've sliced your throat."

She let his words sit in her head for a moment, he didn't no he hadn't raped her. He didn't get the chance, they had gotten there in time. OH MY GOD. She stood up and paced the room.

"I should've fucked your cunt like the cunt that you are," he said laughing. She was on him like a praying mantis. She grabbed the back of his head and slammed his head into the table before he could realize what had happened. Shouting outside the door was something she tuned out as she continued to slam his head into the metal table. Two hands grabbed her and pulled her away from him, her boot kicking him in the side as he closed his eyes.

Outside the room Nick held her hands in front of her as the world came back to her, the voices, and the lights everything. Her tunnel vision was gone and she could hear Nick's voice telling her to come back to him.

"There's my girl, you're okay."

"Oh God Nick, I just," she said shaking her head.

"I know we all saw," he said kissing the top of her head.

"He'll live, you don't ever have to see him again sweetheart. Oh and we saw nothing, the cameras were shut off and the recording ended a minute or two before you went crazy ass on him. I'm proud of you kid," Lance said hugging her. "Now you guys get going, I have some trash to take care of."

Oliver just smiled, after arriving back at the Queen Mansion where there was a huge celebration and feast. Nick's heart soared hearing his wife giggle at something her father and brother were arguing about. Afterwards, Nick and Hope went back to their home, the smell of roses filled the air. She reached back taking his hand after he set the locks and set the alarm and led him upstairs to their bedroom.

She slowly undressed him, enjoying how her hands left goosebumps across his skin where they roamed. He reached down pulling her top of her head, leaving her in her bra and jeans. Within minutes the clothes went flying, leaving them naked. He reached over pulling her closer to him, his hand finding the glorious curve of her ass. In one move he picks her up, his lips never leaving her mouth as her legs wrap around his waist. He gently places her on the bed and puts his forehead against hers and sighs.

"I'm sorry but I won't last long," he says embarrassed.

"That's okay. I um," she said gulping. "I want you to make a baby with me," she blurted out.

"A baby?"

"Yeah, if that's okay?"

"It's more than okay," he said kissing her fiercely.

In one moment he's hilt deep within her, they both groan as the pressure and the pleasure and a hint of pain hits her as he stretches her completely. She grinds her hips against him and he takes the moment and just begins to thrust in and out until he feels her legs and can feel that tell-tale flutter inside of her. When her head goes back she moans leaving her neck open to him.

"Fuc-, oh God Nick. Oh God. I'm going to," she says breathless.

"That's right, come for me baby," he whispers in her ear breaking her from the moment as she shatters completely under him and he releases himself within her wet heat. For minutes, they stay like that, unmoving. When he finally does they fall asleep for a little bit. When she wakes up she goes to the bathroom cursing herself for sleeping like that. She sees the birth control packet on the counter and tosses it away and stares into the mirror. They're going to make a baby, she smiles imagining what she would look like. She gasps when she notices Nick watching her. That night they made love over and over and over again, barely coming up for air. Each time they did it felt like home.

A/N: Okay so vacation was crazy and is it bad I really want to go back? The first two days I couldn't focus and had a little case of writers block which sucks…majorly. So now, it's up to typing.

Now before the haters get involved let me explain something, when I was 15 I was raped by my then boyfriend because I wasn't ready (I wasn't ready when I got married). He raped me in the driveway of my parents' home while my mom and little sister were at a homeowners meeting for our neighborhood so were our neighbors. When he was done, he realized what he had done and stabbed me in the back leaving to bleed out in the driveway. My cousin who he and his now wife were coming back to the house (he was going to school at the time and did chores around the house to earn his keep) saved my life.

The week before he was fully sentenced my ex-boyfriend was raped himself in jail and then committed suicide. There's a lot more to the story but I survived. It was a journey and yes I did shove a lot of people away from me but I made it. For those who are struggling, it's okay to cry but let me tell you…pushing people away is not the way to do it.

Get up, get dressed and live. There's a lot of girls and guys who do get raped who decide to end it all. That's not the answer. It never is. If you ever need someone to talk to …who has been in your shoes let me know. I'll be there for you any day of the week.