Hello people! It's a pleasure to write another chapter of this fanfiction! I hope you guys will like it ^^
The site is always messing up the text, so forgive me if it's not much readable ==" i tried everything but it seems like it was useless, it couldn't be helped.
So, Haru basically sneaked out of home without Ren and Rin, mattaku, that girl! Her character needs more development in the good way ^^" forgive her.
Guess that we can start with the new chapter now, enjoy your reading!
Make it to the the shrine had been easy.
As Rin and Ren said, it wasn't too far from home; just the time to make a quick run.
How lucky!
At first, i felt a bit guilty, sneaking out from the estate without saying anything to them.
They're gonna be angry at me, for sure, i thought.
But it couldn't be helped, I was feeling so loaded! It was like, my mother's words awakened something in me! A new light, a new hope, a new strenght!
I'v been tired of feeling weak and useless…
I needed those words, they enlightened my spirit, filling it with resolve.
On top of all, i was no kid anymore, i could have handled this on my own, just fine!
Rin and Ren were worrying too much. It was time for me to move.
I would have been the one to take care of myself!
Standing in front of a stony flight of steps, i was looking at the sign on the side.
Carved into the old wood, i could easily read the writing on it: Jumikoshi shrine
Never heard about it. Well, not that i ever cared about this things…
I fixed my posture, straightening the back on my feet, and returned to face the flight of steps.
Ahh, mendoukusai. How much do i have to walk?, I thought.
I guess i didn't have much choices left.
The sun was going doing and i didn't like the idea of walking home at full night.
I better hurry!
Just when i was about to lay a foot on one stone, something suddenly crashed onto me, like a meteorite!
I fell to the ground.
"Ouch! It hurts…!" i said as i was patting my back.
When i opened my eyes again, i could clearly see a black silouhette leaned towards me.
A black silouhette? Don't tell me…
As i was thinking the worst, i crawled back on the dirty ground, staring at the dark shape above me.
I was frightened. It was the same figure that i saw the first time, when everything started happening!
It laughed.
I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth, trying to look aggressive, while deep inside i was just a scaredy-cat. Why did it come to me? What did it want from me?
I already knew i didn't stand a choice against that shadow. I wasn't an exorcist, i had no power.
I'm screwed. I thought, this time i'm totally screwed!
My knees wouldn't stop shaking and the pounding of my heart was threatening to burst into my chest.
Even my breath was cut short. I was trying to gasp for air, but my lungs were like tied up in a knot!
I'd never been so scared in all my life.
"Oh my! I wasn't looking where i was going, are you alright?" a hand stretched towards me.
I was too scared to grab it. So it was human, after all?
"Mm? You look so pale! What's the problem?"
My body was like paralyzed. I couldn't move an inch even if i wanted to.
What was wrong with me? I kept on looking at the human shape in front of me, as i was visibly trembling.
"Oh, i'm sorry if i startled you! Guess, i look pretty scary in black at this hour."
I see, so is just a human.
I let out a breath of relief, then i grab the hand which was waiting for me and lifted my body.
Now that i was looking better, she was a woman. I very beutiful one, too!
Long black hair and sparkling eyes.
Beautiful.
After realizing that i didn't say a single word since our physical impact, i shook my shoulders and started stuttering a little…
"Eh….uhm….I…"
What was wrong with me now?! I didn't even know what to say.
The woman in black let out a small chuckle, "You seem a bit shocked, can i help you, somehow?"
Her hand was still wrapping around mine, with a confident grip. I gathered the only left glimpses of lucidity and put in order my thoughts.
"I-i'm fine, really!..." i said while bringing my fingers on a temple, "Don't need to worry!"
"Glad to hear this!"
She had a kind and warm smile, painted on her white skin. Her aura kinda reassured me.
Our hands untied. Suddenly, her face leaned over mine, "Oh, i didn't notice it earlier, but…."
Her eyes were shining with pure curiosity and wonder, "You're a very pretty young lady!"
Eh?
The unknown woman was truly charamed by my face. She kept staring into my icy eyes without hesitation.
I used to be complimented by a lot of people, mostly boys. It had never been a problem to me, i was happy to hear that i was beutiful, and charming, and pretty…!
But still, hearing these things from a woman….
I couldn't help myself, but feeling uncomfortable.
"Ah, Thanks…I can say the same thing of you, Onee-sama." It was true, that woman was beutiful.
She was poised, calm, and probably sweet, too. Just like my mother!
"Ahh, you're flattering me!" she said while caressing a rosy cheek with the palm of her hand. A pinch of embarrassement was spreading through her face, "But i'm more delighted, to be able to see such a beauty in front of me!" .
That woman was indeed nice, but something about her behaviour was troubling me.
I always knew i was a pretty girl, and i was often told too, but there were a lot of other chicks just like me out there! What was so special about me? She was weird.
Anyway, i tried putting on a friendly facade, smiling with kindness, "Thank you very much, I'm happy to make you feel this way."
She was just stranger, there was no need to rush goodbye, she would've probably went away soon.
"But….", before i could realize it, her fingers catched a strand of my hair, delicately lifting them a little, like they were precious threads of gold, "You should be careful. After all, you'll never know what may come after your sunshine."
Her eyes were different now. A shade was covering them.
Their shape changed too, looking more piercing and sharper. I thought i saw her grinning too…
A chill run down my spine as disquiet was arising in me again.
The more i was looking at her, the more i was feeling sick!
Everything was slowly turning darker and blurry, the ground beneath my feet felt so unstable, like it was about to break, and shivers didn't stop travelling over my body.
It was happening again, but why now?
The cold light of the street lamp was relentlessly flickering, as its light was growing dimmer.
I could feel it. The air was hard to breath , too.
Without even thinking about it, i quickly slapped her hand away, backing off.
With my hand pressed against my chest, i started panting. My heart was beating like crazy! The blood was running wilde into my veins, as i could feel my whole body being alarmed.
"Oh, forgive me, i didn't want to startle you!" the suspicious woman raised both hands in front of her.
Speaking was out of question. My body was rebelling against me.
Fear was all i could sense, wrapping me and tying my flesh.
What was happening? Why it was much stronger than the other times?
Probably, i reached the peak of malaise.
I wanted to run, run like i never did in my life! I needed to be purified as soon as possible.
I was going insane at every passing second! Voices were storming into my brain, again.
She was standing in front of me, calmly staring at a distressed me, with a peaceful smile.
I was sweating and trembling hard, as i was trying to hold inside the burning pain which was consuming me.
She couldn't notice that? No way. I wasn't delusional.
Something was harassing me, and i was pretty sure anyone could've noticed that!
"Seems like you are in some serious trouble, young lady."
I knew it! This thing is real!, i thought.
"Who…Who are you…?" i could barely speak, the pain was getting stronger.
The woman let out a small chuckle, "Nobody you should worry about. Just live your life like you always did, Haru Amawaka."
Not worrying? How could i not worryng about someone who knows my name without even telling her?!
That woman was related, as well!
As i was watching her walking away, wrapped in the blackness of her long coat, i could feel the pain slowly leaving my body along with her silouhette, which was vanishing into the landscape. Finally loosened up the grip on my shirt, i straightened my back, trying to fight the reminiscences of distress inside my bones, and regained a bit of self- composure. After taking a deep breath, the voice left my head as well.
Who was that woman, anyway? She knew my name.
Twilight was overwhelming the city, as every shape was turning black against the purple sky.
"Crap! I have to hurry." I whispered to myself as i was standing under the dim light.
The stony staircase was endless.
No matter how many steps i kept on taking, my body was still feeling heavy and my breath wasn't
enough. I was slowly making my way through the thick woods which were surrounding me. It was creepy, everything was engulfed with darkness and i couldn't see a thing.
I hope i won't run into some weird animal!, i thought, as i was keeping on climbing up.
At the end of the flight of steps, i could see it: a red torii, marking and outlining the holy ground of the shrine. When i finally reached the last step, i threw an eye behind my back.
"Woah, it was long!"
I didn't know how my body couldn handle doing all the way up 'till there. I wasn't trained at all!
But it didn't matter, just a few steps forward and i would've reached the Honden.
Therefore, i put a foot over the torii's marked line, but that was all that i could efford.
I was paralyzed, again. But this time was different.
I felt like every part of my body had been tied up with threads of steel! Moving even a muscle was impossibile.
"Wha-what is this now?!" I was stuck in that position. Only a half of me managed to cross the torii.
The more i was struggling, the more my body was getting heavier!
It was another crisis? Wait.
No.
I wasn't scared. Nothing was strange in the inside.
No voices, no trembling.
My breath was normal too.
Then, why was i blocked?!
"D-damn it…!"
Using my left strenght and pushing my body to the limit, somehow, i could move the other leg into
the holy territory. It felt like i was trying to lift a rock.
Sweat was running down my skin, as i was feeling unusually hot.
Suddenly my knees gave in and fell to the ground.
Now, a mysterious energy was pressing me from above, making my head bow down, like a strong gravity.
Probably, this is how a piece of paper felt after being crumpled up!
"Don't move, you filthy woman!" a sudden male voice broke into the silent dusk, ordering me to stay still.
"I couldn't even if i wanted to…" i answered as i was painstakingly trying to lift my forehead.
When my eyes met his's, i realized the seriousness of the situation.
A crowd of priests were holding any type of weapons and enchanted items in their hands, as they were intensely looking at me, like i was a dangerous beast.
What was going on, now?
Nobody ever told me about such a fierce welcoming committee!
Weren't shirines usually inhabited by peaceful old men and pretty priestess?
I guess i watched too many anime…
"What's the meaning of this?" i yelled with all the voice in my lungs.
As those words left my lips, i felt a much heavier burden falling on my shoulders.
They were using some kind of spell on me!
It was painful. If i wouldn't have tried to resist, my bones could've broken under the pressure!
I was at my limit.
"Listen, i'm here to-"
"Shut up, kegare onna!" an old priest screamed, cutting off my words.
Suddenly ,i found myself surrounded by a shiny barrier, which was enclosing me in. It was getting smaller and smaller, untill it reached my body.
I cried.
The spell barrier was burning around me! Squeezing me and flaming on my skin.
It felt like torture.
Why were they doing this to me? I wasn't a kegare! I did nothing wrong.
Breathing was getting hard, i was growing weaker at every passing second.
Were they trying to kill me?...
Even if they could have tried, i would have never gave up on my life!
Holding myself tight, i pushed one feet against the ground, trying to lift my knee.
Of course, the purity of the light was burning me hard, i was exhausted from everything that happened earlier, and i had no strenght left into my body, but i wouldn't have died in front a shrine.
Gradually, i started rising from the dirty ground. My muscles were trembling with strain, and thick drops of salty water were raining down my face.
But i was fighting.
"N-no way, she can move!"
Yes, who do you think you're trying to push down? Haru Amawaka is not a softie!
I grinned at myself as i was keep on lifting my back, "Don't….screw with me, you bossy chicken priests!"
The boy from earlier, suddenly pointed to me an enchanted talisman, stuck between his fingers, "Then…eat this!"
The spell was about to activate its power, when someone appeared from behind the huge crowd.
"Everybody stop, immediately!"
His loud voice silenced the fuss.
The spell barrier came undone, along with all the pain.
I was finally released from the grip of hell.
Dropping my weight on the ground, i started panting and coughing, as i was looking at the sweat dripping from the tip of my nose which was staining the dirt and my hand both widened on the land.
I couldn't even find the power to lift my gaze towards the sound of the incoming footsteps.
Someone was getting closer.
"Young girl." He called, as his feet stopped in front of me.
I rested my knees on the floor and raised my forehead, enough to meet his eyes.
He was huge! His height and impressive mass were scary, and the cerimonial clothes only made him look bigger. Yet, his gaze was tender.
A big hand stretched towards me, offering me help. I gladly took it and straightened my body, fixing my posture. His grip was kind.
He checked me out a little, focusing his glance on my face, "Wait. You are…"
"I'm sorry, for earlier, Haru-san. My disciples are always a bit hasty."
Apparently, the big man was the head priest of the shrine, and he also seemed to recognize me.
We entered a wide half-empy room in the Honden.
He made me sit down on my knees, at the center of the space, as he also did the same thing, placing himself in front of me.
I was driven by curiosity, my eyes didn't stop from wandering through every corner of the main hall.
We were surroundend by nothing but air.
On the walls, i could spot a pair of swords, leaned on supports. They were probably holy items.
There were some hand-decorated pots too, standing at the base of a small altar.
The rest it would be too hard to explain…
Everything was covered with a veil of austerity.
"So, what brings you here, Haru-san?" he asked me from the top of his majesty.
He was like a nice giant, but still a giant he was! He could've crushed me if he wanted to…
"Ehm…." with a fist laying on my thigh and the other hand pressed on my forehead, i started rubbing a temple with my tiny fingers. I was so confused!, "Excuse me, i think my brain is melting down."
It was true. It was incredibile how whenever i left my house, something strange happened to me!
Mysterious shadows chasing me, creepy women bumping into me, a crowd of crazy priests calling me filthy…I was totally fed up. Little did i know about myself, but it was time to face the truth.
This time i would've returned home with some proper answers!
The head priest let out a loud and cheerful laugh, "I'm sorry, maybe i should bring you some te-"
"No!" i raised my voice. He froze, "I mean…i'm fine, thank you."
"Oh.." he kneeled down again, "…i see!" he gave me a caring smile.
I lowered my eyes and started staring at the whiteness of my thighs. What was happening to me?
I was so energetic 'till a while ago, and now…
Fear was trapping me again. I felt like i was on the verge of crying!I already could feel the tears climbing up my eyes and watering them, preventing me from seeing anything clear.
Haru, big girls don't cry! I said to myself as i was trying to hold them back, squeezing my eyelids.
Yet, i was trying too hard.
I was starting to feel the weight of everything that happened to me, in the past days.
I thought i could've easily handled it, but i was wrong. The pressure was crushing and tearing me apart!
How foolish of me!
I felt like i was spinning on a mad carousel. No escape.
Weakness, confusion, powerlessness…they were my greatest enemies. Impurities were nothing!
I was probably the biggest hindrance of myself.
As i thought that, tears broke from my eyes.
Heavy drops of salty water began to fall down from the watery mirrors on my face, wetting my thighs with warmth. I clenched my fists until my nails didn't pierce the flesh, and bit my lip 'till it turned red.
I was so frustrated! Why was i acting so weak in front of someone else?! I hated it!
My mask came undone, again. Vulnerability has made its way inside my life, recently.
Yet, i couldn't help but being angry with myself!
I was known to be tough and proud, even into the most impossibile situations! So why…
Why i was feeling so hopeless, now?
The room was filled with my heavy sobbing, as i was pressing my hand against my mouth to not let them out, but my body was shaking, and i could hear my heart beating out of my chest.
I was overwhelmed with emotions.
They were out of control!
"Wh-what's wrong, Haru-san?! I should really bring you some tea, after all!", he was ready to leave his place again, but i quickly stopped him.
"It's okay!" i was loud, my voice was broken with feelings, "It's okay…" i repeated with more delicacy.
We let the silence restore the peace inside the holy building, as i was catching new air into my lungs.
"Before starting a conversation, i should introduce myself first. My name is Juichirou Jumikoshi, i'm the head priest of this shrine."
With my eyes still pointed to the floor i asked, "Why do you know my name?"
There was a small pause between us. Rushing a speech was unnecessary.
"You are the Amawaka's daughter, right?" i immediately lifted my forehead as i heard my family's name, " You used to come here often since you were just a little girl. No way i couldn't recognize you!" he smiled at me.
I was stunned. So it was true!
The right place in the wrong moment.
Without even thinking, i threw my back forward and leaned over, "So…So, you are the one who erased my memories!" anxiety already took control of my body. I was unconsciously moving.
My impulsivity didn't shocked him at all. He was cool and frozen in his place.
His head slightly bowed, as a faint shadow covered his gaze, "Yes, i'm the one who cast the mesmerizing spell on you, and also purified you from the impurities which were hunting you."
It was him, after all! He wasn't just a normal priest, then.
I was staring at his shape, with the irises trembling in my widened eyes and my parted lips.
I didn't know what to say, though, there was a lot to ask.
But my mind was like a blank sheet. Confusion totally ate up all my thoughts!
I fixed my posture, and returned poised where i used to sit.
I could feel blood slowly dripping from the palm of my hands. Damn!
"How much do you know about me?" i asked. I was afraid of his answer.
He grinned at me, with his eyes closed, then lifted his forehead and came to face me, "Everything."
After hearing that word, the blood in my veings stopped running.
I was standing in front of the truth. It was my chance!
But then why i was so frightened? I was literally shaking inside.
It felt like an icy blade cutted my breath short, too. My tongue? Paralyzed, just like a tasted poison.
I was hesitating , snapping my eyes from a corner of the room to one other.
C'mon Haru, talk! No matter how hard i was trying to push myself, words wouldn't have come.
And then, i realized it.
Of course i was scared…
Bringing the truth to light meant that i couldn't have escaped it, anymore.
Once i would've come to know it, fighting would've become a must, and i knew i wasn't strong enough.
I wasn't strong enough for the truth, i wasn't strong enought to face the consequences.
I was weak!
Then i remembered my mother's words.
I had light inside of me. I could've hold onto it whenever i wanted to!
It was the only thing i could rely on…
But was it enough?
I sighed, "I'm tired."
Slience arose again.
"I'm tired of being a coward, this is not like me at all!" the tone of my voice was rising at every spelled word. I was so pissed off!
Doubting myself wouldn't have helped at all.
I needed answers, i would've got them, no matter what!
"Please, S.g head priest, tell me everything you know about me!" i streatched down my back, resting my forearms on the cold wooden floor, carefully bowing without spilling the blood on the holy territory.
Fear could've rest in peace.
The reason i've come there was to know the truth. It was too late to turn back!
My body was still shaking with emotion, but i ignored it.
Deep inside of me, i was praying my courage to come alive, but it wasn't answering me.
"Raise your head, young girl." He spoke with a heavy voice, "I'll tell you what you have come here, for."
I nodded in respose, still hiding my stained hands.
He creared his voice while coughing, and looked at me with a firm gaze.
"Tell me, where do you want to start?"
Time was running out. The night was coming and i had to hurry.
"First of all, why your disciples suddenly attacked me? I thought you were peaceful people!" i asked while pointing out out of the small windows.
There wasn't much light there.
He tried to hold back a laughter, but his voice was too deep to not being heard…
"I apologize for them, but the rules are clear: Impure things or people are not allowed to step into the holy land."
Impure people? Was i impure?!
Undoubtedly, i was being chased by impurities, but they were never close to me. I never entered in contact with one, before!
"Of course…" he continued, "for 'impure' i mean also people who are chased by impurities, even from a long range."
He was clearly referring to me. So i was a living impurity, now?
"I understand, but if i couldn't enter the shrine, why did you let me in?"
If was that impure then, let me stepping into the holy land of a shrine should be forbidden.
I didn't know much about how those stuff worked but i was pretty sure about that!
"Seems like you absorbed a big quantity of impurity, you needed help. Don't worry about the pollution, we'll clean everything once you'll come back home." He finished the sentence with a big welcoming smile on his face.
Wasn't he a bit too carefree?
Well, at least i was thankful he stopped that fuss…but i was still worried.
Concern was easily readable on my expression. I was like a little bird in a cage.
Before i could notice, the man in front of the pulled out a white piece of paper and pointed it at me.
"This will help you for a short time."
He started reciting a strange mantra, as he was keeping his gaze lowered and two fingers in front of his mouth.
A sign appeared on the paper. It was an enchanted talisman.
After the spell was casted, a dim lightened aura came to me and caressing my skin, it was soaked up into my body. Suddenly i was feeling a bit better!
A part of the burden on my shoulders disappeared, and i felt cleaner too!
I wanted to thank him, but he didn't let me speak.
"This was just a partial purification enchantement. It won't last long." He said with a pinch of coldness.
I threw my eyes to my knees, again.
I wasn't allow to feel glad for anything! Anyway, i gathered the pieces of my spirit.
"S.g head priest, i have something important to ask you."
I stretched my back upwards, just like a thread was connecting my head to the ceiling, tightening my fists and squezing my thighs with nervousness. Every limb of my body was run by pure electricity.
I couldn't move as i wanted to. I was stressed.
"Yes, of course, though, i might already know your question." He said while crossing his arms, pressing them against his mighty chest.
He was like a sacred book without any seal. Peaking inside was unnecessary since i could've opened it and read it as much as i wanted. A book filled with words, with answers.
The answers i've been carving for!
Screw this knot in my throat, and screw this fear! I'll go for it.
"Why…" i whispered with a trembling voice, "Why, are these impurities targetting me?!" finally i asked, raising my head with a sudden outburst.
His serious and darkened eyes were directly staring into the watery but blazing mirror of mine, piercing my frail soul.
The light inside the room was growing weak. It was already dark outside.
Everything around me looked so gloomy and threatening.
Not much different from the nightmares i was already used to.
The mood was heavy.
"That's because…" he began to speak, "…You aren't a common human."
In the end, i wasn't so shocked.
Finally the tension in my muscles loosened up a little, my body was relaxing.
Suddenly, the truth felt so familiar.
Ahh, i see…
I figured that much. I always knew i was different from the others, somehow.
I just didn't want to admit it, because it sounded scary. But it was too late to runaway. wasn't it?
The shape of my eyes softened, as a vague feeling of resignation was spreading through my face.
What was that peace now? Warmth was wrapping my heart.
So that's what everybody meant, saying i was 'speacial'.
I guess it was rather visible. But what?
"Excuse me, what do you mean?" i asked further.
My ears were carefully listening to every single word he was spelling, ready to welcome and understand them.
He sighed, "It can't be helped. I guess nobody ever told you. Well, i'll be as clear as possible!"
I swallowed the knot in my throat, and focused all my attention on the priest.
My heart started beating like a drum, as i could feel adrenaline reaching every spot of my flesh.
I was so impatient and anxious!
What was i?
It was time to open the door and, find it out!
What could've been waiting for me behind it? A dazzling light, or true darkness?
Either way, i was there, now. I've already pushed the handle!
His lips were slowly parting, as he was breathing new air to voicing his words.
My eyes were watching everything. Every, single, detail.
When i last expected, he said it.
"You are the holder of the holy white flames of purity, the starfire."
He opened his eyes, and lifted his body, standing up. From the peak of his height he looked down on me.
"Haru Amawaka, you're a child of the heavenly star."
A/N:
Hoden: (本殿 main hall), also called shinden (神殿) or sometimes shōden (昇殿), as in Ise Shrine's case, is the most sacred building at a Shinto shrine, intended purely for the use of the enshrined kami, usually symbolized by a mirror or sometimes by a statue
Dan-daan-daaan! Oh my goodness, this story is slower than what i though, tehee!
Let me explain something.
I worked really hard to write this chapter, because i didn't feel well in the past days and i was about to throw away everything in the toilet, sad but true story.
I know, this chapter is not well-written as the previous one but i had to force myself to write it, otherwise i wouldn't have written anything forever. Forgive me, guys!
BUT! I'm really happy to know that people enjoyed the last chapter, since i received a lot positive feedback from the people that i know ^^ !
I hope you'll continue to read this fiction and, i don't know…maybe…leave a review? Ehehe.
That's all for today then, for updates stay tuned!