Chapter Eight – (Im)Patience
A/N: Sorry for the super long delay on this one, everyone! I've lost the love of this one a little bit and it's sort of a struggle to keep on with it at the moment, but I am trying to power through! I'd love to have the next chapter up sooner than this one went up, but I can't say for sure.
This chapter begins from Hillevi's perspective and after the double page break, switches to Ilmr's perspective for the remainder of the chapter. Lyrics are from Lorde's "Glory and Gore".
We're slipping off the course that we prepared
But in all chaos, there is calculation
We gladiate but I guess we're really fighting ourselves
Roughing up our minds so we're ready when the kill time comes
Loki had been teaching Hillevi to hone her Elf-gift, exercising it like a muscle. Ilmr had been training her in the art of war.
And, Hillevi realized, Ilmr had been teaching her patience.
The first hour had not been particularly bothersome. She spent an hour or two each day in Vanaheim running for her own sake and to exercise whichever hound had not gone to war that day.
But the third hour, the fifth, the seventh: she was bored near tears.
Or, rather, she would have been, but she had been so focused it was only Loki's appearance that jerked her from her meditation on the cracked paint on the wall before her.
That was when she realized it had been seven hours already. That Stark was fiddling with something on his tablet and Doctor Banner was dozing lightly at the makeshift workstation. Ilmr, for her part, had stopped jogging at some point Hillevi could not remember and was moving slowly and steadily through a variety of forms.
The only response Hillevi gave to Loki's single, raised eyebrow was a slight twist of her lips before flicking her gaze back to the crack in the wall; focusing again on the beat of her heart in her ears, the steady sound of Ilmr's breathing.
It was several hours more before Hillevi drained the machines connected to her. Tony and Bruce took one look at the information gathered and claimed it would be several days before they had any real results.
Loki set his features in stone and spoke only to Ilmr or Hillevi. Ilmr, Hillevi could tell, was anxious to know what the Midgardians had found. She was sure of foot and purpose and voice. Were it not for the hand she smoothed over Hillevi's hair as they departed, she would not have known the extent of her mother's anxiety. Ilmr, for all of her attention and determined pushing since her arrival in Hillevi's life, was not tactile. Hillevi, for her part, was fair itching to know.
...
Ilmr had spent a good amount of her time teaching Hillevi the mechanics of battle and patience concurrently, though she suspected one was a much more unconscious education than the other. As such, she was nearly as frustrated with her own impatience as she was with how long Stark was taking to analyze what information they'd eeked out of their experiment the day before.
And so, on the second day of waiting, Ilmr had JARVIS contact the Black Widow, and met her in the gym several floors below. It would be enough to distract Hillevi for several hours. Ilmr did not think on how much good it would do her own mind.
Save for the three of them, the space was empty.
"Lady Romanoff." Ilmr inclined her head.
"Ilmr." She gave Hillevi a glance. "I heard it went well the other day."
Hillevi sat herself off to one side and nodded. "Though the Man of Iron talks too much."
A small smile quirked Natasha's lips. "You'll be very good when you're older."
"Would that I could trust you more, I would have her learn more of the art of espionage from you."
Natasha bowed her head, indicating that Ilmr should advance. "I think you're teaching her well enough."
Ilmr advanced with a cross jab and swift elbow combination. Natasha caught one and dodged the other, if only just, retaliating by sweeping Ilmr's legs out from under her. She was unable to set Ilmr off-balance by much; Ilmr hastened into a handspring and caught Natasha's next blow with her knees, landing a kick to the Black Widow's stomach while throwing herself upright again.
Both danced backwards, sizing the other up.
"Is Loki still a bag of cats?" Natasha smirked, stepping in closer with each circle they made of one another.
"Does Agent Barton still feel as though his mind were not his own?" Ilmr, too, stepped in closer each time.
Natasha's eyes narrowed before making a running leap and ending up, through a series of swift movements, on Ilmr's back and wrestling rather adroitly to close off her air supply with her thighs.
Ilmr allowed it, just long enough that Natasha thought she would gain the upper hand. Throwing herself into a somersault, Ilmr broke free and simultaneously sent Natasha tumbling. Hurrying after her and bearing down with a vicious axe kick, Ilmr barely missed the temple of Midgard's warrior woman.
With a quick nip-up, Natasha was on two feet again and advancing with a number of short, fast, kicks and punches; some of which Ilmr deflected, some of which she did not.
When they broke apart to reset themselves and circle one another, both were breathing light and sporting a myriad of small cuts. Some of Natasha's were bleeding. Thanks to Loki's ring, none of Ilmr's were anything more than drying blood on healed skin.
For an hour, they continued on in the same manner, one gaining ground where the other miscalculated. Finally, the Black Widow held up a hand. Ilmr gladly gave her a moment to rest, both of their chests heaving in an effort to breathe.
"Draw?" The Black Widow's voice was breathy.
Ilmr nodded. "Draw."
Natasha straightened, extending a hand. "I wish you were around more. I could use a good sparring partner more than you'd imagine."
Ilmr grinned. "I've seen Stark's hires. I can imagine."
With a bark of laughter, the Black Widow reached for her towel and carefully patted her face dry. "If I don't see you again, thanks."
"The pleasure was mine, Lady Romanoff. Since I fought alongside you in New York I have much wished to spar with you."
"Same." Natasha inclined her head.
With no more than a nod, Ilmr turned to Hillevi, and made her way towards the elevator.
Only when the doors closed did Ilmr speak. "Well?"
"She thinks as many steps ahead as you do. She relies more on her skill as a strategist than her physical strength."
"She is to Midgard what the Lady Sif is to Asgard, though they may not name her as such here."
"And what you are to Vanaheim?" Hillevi perked an eyebrow.
"And what you will be to Vanaheim."
Loki was not alone when they arrived back in their quarters. Both the Man of Iron and Doctor Banner were present. Ilmr was no longer in a hurry to bathe.
"What news?"
Hillevi sat herself against Fenrir, who in return curled himself around her with a sound like low thunder; he delighted in his small charge and anywhere he was allowed with her, he went.
"If those machines had been plugged into the wall like they're supposed to be, she could have kept running until she had to stop for food. They only stopped working when she finally drained them of their battery power. Any little bit of energy she needed, she took from the equipment." Tony wagged a finger at Hillevi in a way that was meant to be playful. "You're a real life Energizer Bunny."
Hillevi raised an eyebrow. Ilmr also did not understand the reference.
"What Tony means is that you should be careful, we know you can do this to electronics and to food."
Loki fixed his gaze Banner. "And?"
Bruce shrugged, and continued. "Given that living things also have electrical output and quantifiable energy, you should be careful you don't inadvertently take too much of someone else's from them when you need it."
Tony sighed. "This would be way easier if we could get Professor X down here. Seriously. He would have way more information and knowledge. Or, even better, Foster. Too bad someone wants to be super secretive."
"Stark, if you're implying that you are not the genius for the task, please be forthcoming." The smile on Loki's face was nothing sort of smug satisfaction.
Tony set his jaw, glared at Loki, and quieted.
"We will practice once we're home so that you can better control it."
That was, apparently, enough to goad Stark. "No. See, you –everything has a natural frequency. –I thought I explained this. Didn't I explain this? -Doesn't matter. She's able to tap into that frequency and damp it down to zero. So unless she's totally rested or has a full stomach or…whatever, she can take from anyone. Anything. You can't control it. It's—"
Hillevi was concentrating on an outward appearance of calm, eyes far too interested in the joint of the supporting wall and the breakfast bar. Loki's fingers twitched where he stood and Ilmr was sure he would crack a tooth any moment.
Ilmr gave Hillevi a reassuring glance Ilmr knew she didn't see and cut Stark off softly but firmly enough that he stopped speaking immediately. "—We will practice more once we're back in Vanaheim so that you are better able to sense the smallest changes."
Hillevi blinked but nodded, seemingly glad to have sensible counsel from both Banner and Ilmr, given that Loki and Stark were intent on trying to vex the other to perishing before the week was over.
Though they had just returned, Ilmr ushered Hillevi back into the elevator to the gym and forced her through three hours of practice before allowing her to leave. Though Hillevi was exhausted for it, Ilmr took pride in the fact that Hillevi was too exhausted to be fretful any longer.
By the time Hillevi had bathed and joined Ilmr in their living quarters to read, JARVIS announced Pepper Potts' imminent arrival.
She came bearing with her usual effortless grace, an invitation to the shops Ilmr recalled enjoying so much when she had last been in Midgard, and the promise of local fare.
Ilmr would never let it never be said Tony Stark did not know how to extend an olive branch.
Ilmr would also never let it be said that he possessed discretion, as he made no small amount of noise over the cost and ridiculousness of their purchases and the suspension of belief necessary to account for Hillevi's size versus the amount she was able to eat on their, to use Pepper's phrasing, Girls Day.
Loki had merely smiled, and declared that they were leaving at dawn.
When they returned to Vanaheim, it appeared that war had as well. Settling back into their quarters, Ilmr spent her time with Loki preparing for battle that evening and Hillevi's tutor was called after they took a midday meal together.
"When may I join you?" It was a question Hillevi asked with ever-increasing frequency.
"When you are ready." Loki dismissed; too busy pouring over the most recent, if lacking, reports.
"When will that be?" Hillevi poked sullenly at her meal.
"You have an important place in this war, Hillevi. Loki has told you as much. If you are to take your rightful place, you must be appropriately trained. This includes, among a number of other things, being able to bide one's time."
"It isn't a skill he seems as familiar with as he might be."
Ilmr had to admit, she appreciated Hillevi's willingness to push boundaries as much as her dedication to her training. It was fortunate Ilmr was so well-versed in wearing a stern mask.
Loki raised his head slowly from his papers and leaned forward towards Hillevi. "And it has cost me dearly. You will not make my mistakes." His mouth curled into a sly, sweet smile. "And Ilmr is far more familiar with disobedience and impatience than I."
Hillevi regarded Ilmr with a look of suspicion and disbelief. To Hilevi's credit, Ilmr was far more serious than she had been in years past. She wanted to blame much of it on her siblings but she could not deny the unease that had settled in her gut ever since Inghard had walked into the Tower and back into her life. Most of her solemnity came from the looming spectre of Mistress Death and her army.
"I had many opportunities in my father's court and abroad to stir up trouble and I did so with abandon."
Hillevi merely nodded, clearly not sure if it was true, but happy to accept it as truth until Ilmr felt it the appropriate time to correct the notion.
Ilmr could not deny that it had seemed much easier to return to the heat of battle from within the routine of Stark Tower, but she had nonetheless known what awaited her. She was no stranger to battle and she had endured more than most, in her time.
What she had not counted on were the unexpected and unwelcome memories of rent flesh and the stench of death and blood and ragged, raw screaming.
Ilmr suspected that Loki was reminded of his own, similar experiences. She did not mention her memories to Loki, just as she suspected he didn't share his own with her. It had been enough to live it and to see what remained of the other after it was over.
As they left Hillevi behind for the battlefield that evening, Ilmr wondered briefly how long the war would last this time before their adversaries disappeared into thin air again. How long it would be before one of them made a fatal error, and whether it would be before or after Hillevi was of age to raise a weapon alongside them.