First of all, thanks for your support. You guys are great.
Secondly, this chapter ended up being a little more suggestive than I anticipated, so I've changed the rating to T.
Hat: Part 9
The next day Hanzo found himself wandering around the base in what could only be considered a stupor. Thankfully, the things he and McCree had talked about yesterday went back to being much more manageable after Hanzo had asked his question. He simply let the gunslinger ask all the questions.
So, McCree had indeed been with other men. The archer began to wonder when and who. But that was really none of his business. Even if he could summon the courage to ask the cowboy about the encounters, what good would it do? It was all in the past.
Unfortunately, Hanzo couldn't help being just a little bit curious about the man's past.
The bowman heard his name being called and he finally stopped in his tracks. It was McCree. Hanzo had unconsciously meandered over to where the cowboy's joking group gathered.
"Hey there. Care to join us?"
Hanzo froze. It had been a simple enough question. So why wasn't it simple to answer? Was it because he had other things on his mind? Was it simply because he hadn't expected to see the cowboy at that moment?
Hanzo knew that he was simply standing there staring at the man, yet he couldn't seem to formulate a response to the question.
"You okay?" McCree asked.
No. He wasn't okay. He was turning into an idiot.
He'd always had so much self control. Everything he did and said was calculated and then executed with the utmost grace and dignity. Well, almost everything.
What had become of him now? He was standing in a place he had no idea he'd gone to. He was standing wordlessly like a slackjawed numbskull in front of this guy that he'd told Symmetra he didn't like in that way.
Well, with the way he was behaving, he couldn't help thinking that maybe he did like him in that way.
The cowboy had even been saying something to him that he hadn't really heard.
"Well, ya just gonna stand there or are ya comin' over?"
Hanzo nodded, which wasn't really the type of answer that particular question required. Then again he could just use the excuse that he was answering his initial question. In that case his answer made a lot more sense.
Was he really trying to make excuses for his own idiocy? How pathetic.
The conversation was as lively as ever. They were all being silly and they were trying to get Hanzo to be silly with them. Unfortunately, he couldn't conjure the will to joke with them even if he knew any.
"Hey!" Oxton said to the bowman, waving a hand in front of his face. "If you're gonna be over here, you're not allowed to think."
It seemed that little outburst caused the whole group to focus their attention on him.
"She's right, ya know," McCree said. "The whole reason we're here is to put the worries of the world aside for a while and just relax."
"Don't let your past weigh on your shoulders every minute of the day," Lindholm added.
"Ugh! Just talking about thinking is giving me a headache," Oxton said. She went on to talking about some other random thing, probably something online.
Hanzo smiled to himself. These people really were concerned about his state of mind. It was nice.
And when he looked over at McCree, the gunslinger was watching him from beneath the brim of that hat.
After that increasingly animated discussion, Hanzo decided that he needed a little quiet time. Yet when he started walking away, McCree was following him.
"I think you should hang out with us more often," the gunman said.
Hanzo nodded. Maybe he should stop spending so much time alone with his thoughts.
"Mind if I ask where yer headed?"
"To my room."
"Mind if I walk ya there?"
Well, Hanzo didn't see the harm in it. He nodded again and he and McCree quietly made their way down the hall.
Hanzo could see him out of the corner of his eye. The hat was pulled down low, but he knew the cowboy was looking at him.
"Is something wrong?" Hanzo finally asked. The man had been looking at him all day, after all.
Out came a low chuckle and Hanzo was caught off guard by how...nice it sounded.
"Nothin's wrong. I just been thinkin' about how ya never really gave me any thoughts on how I feel about ya."
McCree had also said that he didn't want to pressure the archer. Though it had been quite a few days since that initial confession.
Hanzo opened his room door and expected a goodbye from the man, even though McCree was in the middle of a conversation.
"Mind if I come in? I just wanna talk to ya fer a minute."
Well, who was he to say no? He stepped aside and let the cowboy in before closing the door behind them.
"I also thought about that question ya asked me the other day. About whether I ever been with a man. And that really stood out in my mind fer a long time. I don't wanna put words in yer mouth, but it sounds to me like yer interested."
Again Hanzo's face warmed before he could try to put a stop to it. Is that what McCree had been thinking?
"I was curious," Hanzo said, avoiding the gunman's eye. He felt the cowboy drawing nearer and he took a step back on instinct.
"I always thought you were one of those loner types. But it looks like yer just shy."
Was McCree getting closer? Hanzo took another step back just in case. "I am not shy."
Without realizing it, McCree had gotten close enough to him to put his arms around him. A hug. A long, quiet hug. But why?
...
Hanzo frowned when he realized that he was unable to think straight. Wasn't he supposed to be saying something?
"So, what did ya think when I told ya I'd been with men before?" McCree asked.
Hanzo blushed again and frowned. This guy was still hugging him. Why wouldn't he let go?
What had Hanzo thought at that moment? He remembered thinking about his own past experiences.
"I thought about the fact that I had never been with a man before."
"And what did ya think about the fact that I had?"
Maybe McCree had no intention of letting go. It was awkward to say the least.
"Take yer time. I can stay like this all day."
Was that some kind of threat? He didn't really think much of the fact that McCree had been with men before. Well, the first thing he'd though about was sex, of course. But that was the purpose of the question, wasn't it? A question that he himself had asked. Oh, no! His mind had immediately gone to sex while he was talking to the cowboy.
Hanzo buried his face in McCree's shoulder, too embarrassed to look at him. "I was curious," he said again, his voice half muffled.
"Curious about what?" McCree whispered.
Well, for a guy who didn't want to put any pressure on him, the gunman sure was doing a good job of it now. Things were getting way too uncomfortable for Hanzo now. All these questions and this eternal hug. "Why are you still hugging me?" he finally asked.
"Cause I can't look at ya while I'm talkin' to ya about this stuff," McCree said with a chuckle.
Really? So, did that mean that this cowboy, even with his trusty hat, was the one who was shy? Hanzo couldn't help thinking that was somewhat cute.
"Now, you answer my question," McCree said.
Hanzo shuttered when the gunman's breath tickled the top of his ear. He didn't really have an answer for him. He wasn't really sure what he'd been curious about. Just that he was curious. So he remained quiet.
"Were ya wonderin' what I let those men do to me?" McCree asked quietly.
Okay, this had gone on long enough. Hanzo wriggled his way out of McCree's arms and immediately went to his room door so he could open it for the cowboy. "Please excuse yourself. I have work to do." His voice was much weaker and unsteady than he'd expected.
McCree tugged the brim of his hat down over his face, but not before Hanzo saw how red it was. "Yeah. Sorry. I should get goin'."
Hanzo was a little surprised that there was no argument. And as he watched McCree leave, he had to wonder what the gunslinger had let those men do to him.