A\N: I am so sorry. I need to break my promise about how often I will update. The reason is far too simple- I am overhead busy. I am not home anymore so I don't have much time to write. Anyway, the story will be finished, sooner or later, I only ask for you patience. I will try to post, if not per week, then per two weeks. It won't take me THIS long, that is certain. However, pardon all of mine grammar\spelling mistakes and enjoy my story! :D
Guest: Here you are! Thank you very much, it means a lot to me, keep reading. :D
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Life started to flow through their veins like it used to. In Gondor or in the forest- it wasn't aware of the place. And it didn't really matter. At least Legolas thought so.
Another morning was born. Many days have passed. Maybe even months. The elf didn't know, he refused to count them. He couldn't see any serious difference in the woods except of some sere leaves that would fall here and there so he couldn't conclude how much has it been. Every single time when Aragorn tried to bring that subject up, it would end with a quiet fight where the elf would hiss for some time and then leave. It was slowly becoming frustrating.
But Aragorn couldn't forget his land so easily. He was counting days and hours. Sometimes, after another failed discussion with the elf, he would go and roam around the woods, going so far that he would even reach the borders. He would sleep there, alone, like he used to do long ago. His, at first short trips, became more frequent and longer. The autumn was slowly reaching its end. Winter was so close, he could even smell it in the air. Once when it starts, he knew he won't be able to return until the spring. It worried him greatly. Birds with letters were rather too rare and the spoken letters were everything but extensive. It didn't help. At all.
And now it was morning again. Aragorn was staring through the window, watching fruitful orchards that were glistening under the early sun. Legolas moved lazily across the room in search for his clothing.
"You are quiet."- the elf murmured when he jumped back into the bed and covered himself with a sheet, realizing that it was too early to actually start the day. He closed his eyes out of habit.
Aragorn was silent. Legolas frowned in his daze.
"What? Now you refuse to talk to me?"- he said bitterly but either way continued to slumber.
"Refuse? I refuse? You are the one that refuses to talk. All the time."- the man said quite indifferently which nerved the elf.
"Don't start now, Aragorn. Because of this we are barely capable of talking to each other. We can talk about everything but that."- he said and nuzzled against the pillow. He knew what the man had on his mind. Leaving.
His wish to stay here was just growing stronger, day by day. He became addicted to the looking of the household, to his father and his fragile sister. He loved the woods, the air, every single animal he would see. This was the right place for him.
"We need to talk about it, Legolas."- his voice was louder now and he glanced over his shoulder, only to see the elf's back turned on him.
Legolas blinked and clenched his teeth. Tiredly, he supported himself on his elbows and turned around to face the man who was sitting in a chair.
"Fine. Let's talk. "- he said in heavy tone. His eyes were glistening with something that reminded Aragorn of rage.
Silence. They were both staring at each other with different emotions in their eyes.
"Well? Tell me something I already know. You want to leave."- he said in somewhat angry tone although waves of panic started to take over him.
Aragorn watched silently the cold posture of the elf, wondering where have they made a mistake. He sighed and rubbed his eyelids.
"Forgive me. This is leading nowhere."- he breathed out and stood up. The man started to walk up and down the room, thinking about nothing in particular. He eventually stood above the bed and watched down and the elf's back that were laid before him.
Legolas was still, breathing deeply and staring at the floor. His sudden rage vanished and all that was left was something he wasn't eager to deal with- fear. At that moment, he felt easy fingertips moving up his spine. The elf sighed and lowered his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes as the man continued to caress him.
"When will you tell Thranduil?"- the man said as he sat down on the bed.
The elf frowned slightly.
"It's not that simply, Aragorn."- Legolas murmured and arched his back in the man's palms.
"We've been hiding for almost three months so far"- the hands moved up the smooth back and massaged the elf's shoulders. Legolas breathed out heavily.
"I don't like it either, but something is telling me that my father won't be... pleased."- he yawned and moved his body under the sheets.
Aragorn gave a sigh but his hands continued to roam over Legolas' smooth back.
"Yes, but you should explain our.. situation."- and Legolas blinked.
Suddenly, he lifted himself up qucikly and turned around to face the man who went pale for a second when he saw the elf's tensed face.
"What is.."- he started but Legolas shook his head and covered the man's mouth with his palm.
"Someone is coming."- Legolas whispered and both the man and the elf casted their eyes on the closed door. They sat in silence as Aragorn heard footsteps too. They were easy.
A soft knock on the door didn't move them- on the contrary. They seemed frozen on the bed, their conversation abruptly finished.
"Open the door, it's me."- Haldir spoke quietly and patiently waited while Legolas and Aragorn exchanged few curious and confused looks. At last, the man stood up and slowly went to the door.
Legolas jumped off the bed and dressed himself quickly, not fully aware of what he was doing.
"Finally."- Haldir snapped and stepped inside of the room, not even waiting to be invited. His gaze fell on the confused elf and he smiled.
"You both look terrified. Don't worry, no one knows."- he said and laughed quietly at the numb face. Aragorn shook his head.
"You should't be so bold, Haldir."- he closed the door and sat on a chair near the window. The man frowned slightly when he noticed a letter in Haldir's tightly pressed palm.
"Neither you two should be so obvious."- he said in return and joined the man.
"We are obvious only to you because you know."- Legolas said and rolled his eyes in relief but soon after it he became wary when he noticed Aragorn's serious face expression.
"I'll be quick. Someone might search for me. There is a letter for you, Aragorn."- he said almost bored and handed the creased paper to the man. Aragorn took it carefully, his frown deepening.
"A letter? Again? The last one was delivered to me only a week ago."- he said more to himself and studied the piece of dark paper.
"Wouldn't know. However, Bjarte assumed that it might be something important when he saw looking of the seal so he advised me to be quick with it."- Haldir said and stood up again.
"Legolas, your father should be done with his morning duties soon. I advise you to come to the main hall as soon as possible. There's something he want to discuss with you."- the blond elf smiled again and without word walked to the door.
Legolas blankly stared before himself.
"He's behaving strangely this morning, don't you agree?"- he asked the man but raised his eyebrows when he received no answer. Carefully, he turned around and eyed the man who seemed lost in his thoughts. The latter was unsealed.
"Aragorn?"- he called out but the man didn't even flinch. Legolas waited but again nothing. He frowned.
Aragorn was indeed lost. He was fully concentrated on the letter. Word by word, his face was just darker and darker. He clenched his teeth and failed to notice the elf's slim form behind his back, reading the letter over his shoulder.
Legolas had managed to read only few sentence before the paper was creased in the man's strong grip. The elf jumped at this sudden act of rage.
Aragorn hissed through his teeth and leaned over his knees.
"What is it? What does it say?"- Legolas asked and pointed on the letter that was thrown before Aragorn's legs. The man only shook his head and stood up. He started to walk up and down the room with his hands crossed behind his back.
Legolas raised his eyebrows. He knelt down and took the riven roll in his hands and started to read again but he blinked when the paper disappeared before his eyes. He looked up and glared at the man.
"Nothing good. Don't waste your time reading."- Aragorn replied and tucked the letter in his pocket. Legolas stood up and waited. Aragorn watched his cold expression for few minutes and then breathed out.
"News from Gondor."- the man said quietly and gazed through the window. Rage was quickly replaced with worry which softened the elf's heart that was everything but understanding lately.
Legolas forced a smile and gently rested his palms on the man's shoulder.
"It cannot be that bad, Aragorn. Tell me. Is there another problem within the army? Orcs? Your subjects? Anything?"- he asked softly and searched for the man's eyes. Aragorn did find this sudden change of mood odd, but he was too worried to come up with some comment so he only nodded his head.
"We can say so. It's from Borghild."- he said and inhaled the air sharply. Legolas only titled his head on side and curiously watched the man's face.
"Boromir is back."- Aragorn said simply and Legolas' confusion only became greater. He didn't even know who the man named Boromir was or why he seemed such a worry to ever so calm Elessar so he smiled a bit and squeezed the man's shoulders.
"I am afraid I do not understand you."- he whispered and searched for Aragorn's eyes that were lost somewhere out. At last, the man breathed out and looked at the elf.
"Boromir is Faramir's elder brother. Long ago, he was to me what Borghild is now. The man in charge of my personal guard. However, some things went wrong between him and Faramir so I was forced to make a decision. Even though I didn't want to do such thing, I have sent Boromir away. My council wanted so. The only man who was against it was Borghild himself. He hasn't told me his reasons to this very day. But, in the end, my decision was final so Boromir was forced to abandon Minas Tirith. Up to this day, we haven't heard anything from him. And now, all of sudden, he's back."- Elessar said in low tone and pressed his lips tightly.
Legolas was just looking at him quietly.
"What went wrong between him and Faramir?"- he asked aloud but Aragorn only shook his head.
"It doesn't matter, Legolas. It's a longer story and I don't have much time. I must prepare as soon as possible and leave."- he said in stern voice that left no space for any kind of discussion. This kind of tone was rarely used by Aragorn, especially in the elf's presence so it took some time for the elf to recover. His hands fell down.
"What are you saying? Leave? Now?"- Legolas whispered.
The man blinked as he realized their current situation and looked at the elf.
"I-I.. I'll be back. I am needed in Gondor. But we are not separating. As soon as I'm done with this, I shall return."- he added quickly when he noticed Legolas' eyes.
All of their fights seemed so unimportant now. They were standing in silence, looking at each other and fearing to say, to speak out. It was obvious- for the first time in ten years, they were about to split up. Aragorn swallowed dryly.
It was happening.
Legolas opened his mouth and closed them again. An odd, painful smile disorted his face. The man didn't like looking of it. At all.
"I.. want.. to stay."- it was a faint whisper. His eyes were sparkling and his lips were trembling but his voice was certain and strong. Aragorn was standing in shock although he knew that the elf would say it sooner or later, but he couldn't help but feel as if he was slapped across his face.
"I don't wish to go with you, Aragorn. This is my home. I cannot leave my father yet. You know that I love you."- he clumsily spoke as he noticed how much pain his words have caused. But he needed to say it.
"I'll wait for you here. It's just.. Please, understand me and don't make me choose."- he desperately continued to speak, but he bit his tongue so hard that he felt drops of blood as the man's face started to break.
"If I forced you to choose, Legolas..."- Aragorn started but he didn't finish. He didn't need to anyway. Legolas knew what the man meant.
"I am the prince of Eryn Lasgalen."- Legolas stubbornly spoke and swallowed his tears. Not knowing why, he started to hide his feelings from the man.
Lately, they've became too cold.
"And I'm the king of Gondor, but it didn't keep me from taking a lost elf with myself and making him a noble, did it?"- he smiled.
"But it did keep you from staying with him, didn't it?"- Legolas smiled too and clenched his palms.
Aragorn only nodded his head and looked down.
"You are in no position to judge me, Legolas."- he said quietly.
"Neither are you."- Legolas started to shiver. He wanted so bad to grab the man by his shoulders, scream out how badly he needed him, how much he hated this insane journey made only of woes that kept them apart. But he couldn't do any of it.
"Remember what was the only thing I've ever asked form you? To take me home. And you've said that you will do everything that is in your power to make that dream of mine come true. You cannot.."- Legolas started to speak in order to save anything that could be saved, but his good intention, it seemed, only did harm.
"You've asked from me to take you home with myself."- Aragorn corrected him which left a gap of unpleasant silence.
"We didn't know anything about my past back then."- Legolas whispered and sat down, defeated.
"I really do love you like no one else ever before, but I cannot make you choose between your family and me."- Aragorn sighed and looked at the poorly curled elf.
"But why are you doing exactly that right now, Aragorn? Why are you making me feel disgusted by myself? You say you do understand me, but then again you remind me of how much you did for me and how little I gave to you in return."- Legolas was shivering but this time the man couldn't make himself soothe him.
"You are forcing me to choose, my love."- the elf smiled bitterly and inhaled the air sharply.
"Same like you are forcing me to choose. Don't you see?"- Aragorn's dismay started slowly to turn into rage.
The elf shook his head.
"No. You are free to do as you like."- he bit his lip.
"And you are not?!"- Aragorn said louder than it was really needed and throw his hands in the air. Legolas only flinched.
"I haven't slept in weeks because of you. You think I don't fear your leaving? You think that I am just fine with your departure?"- Legolas shook his head and turned his back on the man.
"You act like you don't know me at all."- he said quietly as his eyes softened.
"Truth to be told, I am not certain if I do understand you this time, Legolas."- Aragorn said but his voice wasn't angry or hurted- it sounded reconciled, rational as if he only accepted something that he used to push away from him for a long time.
The elf closed his eyes for a moment, remembering everything he loved about the man, even about Minas Tirith. But then again, frames of his father and sister were formed before his eyes. He gave a painful sigh.
A rough palm was gently laid on his shoulder and he felt calm, warm breathing on his neck. Pleasant memories filled his mind and he smiled although it wasn't a happy smile. Aragorn rested his chin on the elf's shoulder and breathed out.
"Those were good years, Aragorn. Good indeed."- Legolas whispered as he ran his hand through the dark hair. There was a small nod in return.
"Let's not kill it now, melamin. Let it live."- the man spoke pleadingly and wrapped his hand around the elven neck.
Legolas' smile widened but his eyes started to glisten.
"Let it be. Don't leave. Act as if you never received any letter. Forget about Gondor and I shall do the same."- the blond elf suddenly spoke and turned around to face the confused man. He grabbed his hand.
Aragorn only narrowed his eyes, pure confusion and appall visible in his eyes.
But the blue eyes, on the contrary, were ablaze. Ardor and decision. Nothing else.
"What?"- Aragorn asked as he tried to pull his palm back but Legolas would't allowe such thing.
"Let's sail. Now. My father, I.. He can understand it. We would re-unite again in Valinor. Most of the Elves have already sailed, it wouldn't be strange if I do the same thing now. The only reason that my father remained to live on this land is me. He needed to find me. Now when I'm found, everyone are free to do as they like. Let's sail, Aragorn. We don't need anything, my love."- he was speaking feverishly, looking deeply in the man's steel eyes. His warm hands caressed the stubble chin and his erratic breathing was puffed all across Aragorn's face.
Aragorn started to feel dizzy, thinking about that new life they could have. Battle inside of him was in full rage but he couldn't shake the elf off himself.
Legolas rested his nose and forhead against the man's.
"Just think about it.. You and I. And nothing else that could dissever us. Ever, ever again. Valinor is a beautiful land where time doesn't exist. And you will be everlasting there. You should worry nothing, Aragorn, nothing.. Trust me this time and come with me."- he closed his eyes and pressed the man tighter, hoping against hope that Aragorn will accept to be reckless this one and only time.
The man shook his head flabbily, in order to send away this dangerous dream. It only made the elf to get closer to him, to touch him more and to speak more.
"Don't be Elessar now. Be Aragorn. And I'll be Legolas. You used to do as your people like for far too long. Do something because you want, not because you should."- the elf whispered in the man's ear.
"I.."- Aragorn started to speak and he grabbed the elf's forearms.
"Do it because of us."- and it was enough to send the man over the edge. He blinked, suddenly realizing where this was leading.
He gripped the elf's slim form too harshly which made Legolas' breathing hitch and pulled him. He gazed at the elated eyes. His heart jumped.
"I can't."- he said in hard tone but he would't let the elf go. Not even when he saw how the white face blanched even more.
Legolas' mouth went open. He blinked, not really understanding.
"Why?"- he swallowed and tried to take a step back.
"Because it's not the right time. I cannot leave my people in the dark. If I leave, they should know it. And of course I cannot leave them when they need me."- he pointed at the creased letter in his pocket.
"But you can leave me whenever you want to, it seems."- Legolas said and tried to look down, suddenly feeling dumb and childish.
Aragorn sighed and forced the elf's head up.
"I'm not leaving you. I'm only asking you to wait for me until I come back."- he whispered and tried to caress the smooth face. Legolas only turned his head on side.
"I'm tired of waiting, Aragorn. I've waited long enough. Almost a decade. You cannot leave your land in absolute peace, humans don't know for such thing. There will always be something that is not right with them."- Legolas said in plain tone, his previous infatuation left the same way it came- suddenly.
Aragorn shook his head.
"You've rejected me."- Legolas said in surprised tone which didn't match the looking of his face. This fact was like some kind of sickness that took over
The man touched Legolas' face and kissed his still lips gently. The elf showed no sign that he liked it or disliked it.
"I love you so much that it hurts. Don't do this now. When I come back, I promise, we shall sail."- Aragorn whispered soothingly and took the elf's face between his hands. Another loving kiss.
"When you come back.."- Legolas repeated when he got a chance to speak. His mouth were covered again.
Hands were wrapped around the slim waist and Legolas was pulled into a hug. He shook his head slowly when the mouth trailed down his neck. He didn't feel any of these now.
When Aragorn realized that the body wasn't reacting to any of his ministrations, he stopped and looked up.
"Tell me what's wrong?"- he asked carefully and ran his fingers through the long, silver hair.
"I will hurt you if I do that. I will hurt you the same way you've hurted me."- the elf warned softly and gazed at the man's eyes.
Aragorn sighed heavily and nodded his head in defeat.
"Say it."- he encouraged.
Legolas tried to keep his composure and not yield to the waves of pain that started to drown him. He was rejected for the first time in his life and it burned him deeply. Need to afflict, to return tenfold worse was becoming too strong for his likings. But Aragorn, it seemed, desperately wanted it.
"Say it, my love. I'll survive."- Aragorn was calm, prepared.
The elf was staring at him for a long time in silence. Was he capable of saying this? His cold, rational rage was screaming at him do this and not think of a damage that will come after this.
Was he really capable of hurting Aragorn, the man who saved him? His eyes burnt with decision.
And it was all gone before Legolas could stop himself.
"You don't have to return back, Aragorn. Ever. You'll be too late anyway. You will do this constantly. Especially now when I'm here. I'll have to share you with your land and I cannot do it. I was willing to leave my land and my family because of you but you won't do the same. Our promised life is nothing but a dream. It's time for both of us to wake up."- Legolas was saying this calmly, in quiet tone.
It was hard to tell what Aragorn felt in that moment. Everything he actually did was to let his arms fell down the elf's body.
"My love for you will forever burn but I'm not sure if I can say the same thing for you anymore. I offered you eternity, you chose to be bind to this mortal land."- Legolas looked now for, even now, he didn't have strenght to look in the man's eyes.
It was a mistake. It was a terrible mistake. Legolas knew it. He knew that this foolish act will cost him much, but for the first time he understood how it feels like to be rejected. He offered something on his opened and honest palm, at it was roughly thrown back at him like some worthless, dirty thing.
Legolas was standing in front of the man with closed eyes, waiting for the snowslip to begin. He expected some kind of a blow over his face, shouting which he really deserved but none came.
In slow, tired step, Aragorn moved back. The elf opened his eyes.
"And? Say something."- the elf dared him, eager to fight like never before, in order to suck out that venom that was in their blood since they've been here.
He waited and waited. Aragorn didn't utter a word.
"Say it."- Legolas gritted his teeth and clenched his palms.
The man only turned around and gave him a meek, pitful smile. It lashed the elf.
"Your words are not honest, Greenleaf. I don't believe you."- Aragorn sighed. His eyes were odd, glassy. It was obvious that he was fighting against something, that he was up to decide.
Legolas shook his head violently.
"You've promised me that we shall sail! You cannot break that promise, Aragorn!"- he answered but his body was shivering.
"You should leave now."- the man nodded knowingly and moved to the window. Just like that, he ignored the elf. There was far too much inside of his head.
The elf stood in silence and stared at Elessar's noble back in pure disbelief.
"Now you are throwing me out?"- he whispered.
"That's for your own good, my love. Leave."- he said in plain tone and after it he remained numb as if he was a statue.
Legolas slowly nodded, his body refused to move, but his mind acceppted.
"As you wish."- it was a mere breath.
The silver-haired elf touched the door handel and waited for a second more. He casted his eyes on the unmoving figure.
"We are so lost, Aragorn. The more we wait, the less we are free. Slowly, they will tie us up and force us to do as they like. I cannot let that happen. It's either your land or me. But just think about one thing when you decide.. Your land won't follow wherever you wish to roam and it won't lie in the same bed with you in the night. Think about what is more precious to you when you decide to leave one thing forever behind. It's not fair, it's not easy, but that's the way it is."- Legolas said quietly, his rage completely gone.
"I.. I can leave this land because of you. It won't be easy for me, but it's possible. With all of my heart I am ready to sail with you but nothing and no one can force me to leave Eryn Lasgalen and come back to Minas Tirith."- he added after a moment and gazed at Aragorn's calm form. His eyes fell down on the floor after it. With a sorrowful, remorseful nod, he left the room and quietly shut the door.
Aragorn only closed his eyes. He was left to drown in his sea made of despair completely alone.
The man blinked heavily and watched Legolas' lithe figure that moved down the yard and continued into the woods. And then he gazed at the small path that led to a totally different side- to the borders of the woods, to freedom. Aragorn turned his eyes again on the elf's moving back before he dissappeared behind brushwood.
"Alas, my love, we are indeed lost."- he whispered in deadly tone and moved back from the wide window.
The only thing Elessar actually took with himself was his cloak. Without a word to anyone from the household, he headed towards the stables and saddled his loyal horse.
Brego neighted in delight so the man caressed his long, shiny mane.
With a swift but somewhat unwilling jump, Aragorn sat on the unpatient horse and pulled the reins.
"To Minas Tirith, Brego."- he said and without looking back, not even once, he abandoned the Woodland Realm.
He abandoned it too soon and too unadvisedly, in the act of sorrow.
King Elessar didn't wait for another letter that was delivered the moment he left. The letter that carried completely different message. But that letter was on its way to the rightful person- to Legolas who was somewhere in the woods, waiting for the man that will never again come back to him.