Author's Note: As several people have brought up the idea that Rapunzel could also be Elsa's cousin, and I had been tossing the idea around in my head for a while, I would like to officially confirm that they are not related in this universe, but I wrote an alternate joke ending where they are, which can be found here: s/12470858/1/The-Cousin
Elsa drove the first two hours back in silence. She hadn't even thought to turn on the radio. She felt empty. She had been expecting the trip to be a disaster, but nothing like this. "I was fucking my sister," she finally said, her words seeming to expand as they filled the silence. She blinked back the return of tears. Nothing made sense anymore. She thought she had finally found someone who was truly perfect for her, and instead she had re-exposed herself to the most painful thing that had ever happened to her. She lost her family again.
She continued driving for most of an hour before the next thought hit her. She didn't want to go home. She couldn't face that place. She couldn't see every reminder of Anna. She couldn't smell her sister's scent in their bed. That thought filled her with a new wave of shame and regret. She hated herself. It wasn't a new feeling, she had most of her life, she hated herself for what she'd done to Anna. Now she did again. All she was capable of doing was hurting her.
She grabbed at her phone, ignoring the 10 missed calls. After she pressed a few buttons without taking her eyes off the road, her phone started to ring.
"Hey, Else," Kristoff's familiar voice echoed in her ears.
Elsa only managed a sob in reply.
"What's wrong?" Kristoff sounded worried. He hadn't been expecting to hear from her much before she got back. Something had clearly gone wrong with the trip. "Is Anna okay?"
This was answered by another sob. "I'll be there in an hour," Elsa finally said, hanging up.
Elsa pulled into Kristoff's driveway. She cut the engine off, slammed the door, locked it, and trudged up to Kristoff's front door. The door opened before she could even reach her hand out, revealing a very concerned Kristoff clad in an undershirt and shorts. "Hey, Else, come on in," he led her to his couch, without her uttering a word. He resisted the urge to appreciate her advertisement for his now defunct band on her chest, instead offering "Want a beer?"
"Got anything harder?" Elsa asked, sinking into her spot on the couch.
"Yeah, just a minute. Straight vodka good? Just bought a bottle of Grey Goose." Elsa nodded, dropping her chin to her chest. He quickly returned with the bottle and two large shot glasses. Elsa grabbed the bottle and took a large swig, some spilling onto her chest. She set the bottle back down, nowhere near the coaster. Kristoff stared at her in shock.
"That bad?" he asked hesitantly, completely unsure of what to say. He'd never seen her like this. Even when Rapunzel had left her, she had still been herself. She hadn't abandoned her crazy neat-freak ways, she had still been able offer a witty retort.
She stared at the vodka, willing more of it to come to her mouth, but lacking the energy to reach for it. Kristoff poured her a shot and handed it to her. She took it, blankly, and dumped it into her mouth before dropping the shot glass. Kristoff stared at her, then picked up the glass and poured her another one, only for Elsa to repeat her actions.
"Can you talk yet?" Kristoff asked, pouring her another one and finally having one of his own.
"She's my sister," Elsa finally managed to choke out.
"What?" Kristoff stared at her, confused. Lacking context, that really didn't tell him much.
"Anna. My girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. She is my sister. Those were my parents," Elsa pronounced, not slurring a word.
"Called it! This is why you never date someone with your sister's name," Kristoff joked before he could stop himself.
Elsa sobbed.
"Wait, you're serious? That's," he hesitated. "That's the most horrifying thing I've ever heard. So you've been fucking your sister for the last three months?"
Elsa took another shot of vodka while sobbing heavily. "That's what I said," she coughed back, pouring another shot.
"And I take it this revelation did not go well?"
"I dumped her. I abandoned her at our parents house and drove off. I feel so broken. How could this have happened? Who the hell falls for their sister?," she screamed, tears streaming from her eyes, "What's wrong with me? My parents – our parents were right. I am a monster. A sick disgusting freak that corrupted my own sister. I should have never been allowed near her. She's not safe with me."
"Elsa, you had no idea," he offered, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Didn't I? She had her name, her red hair, her teal eyes, her freckles. She was the right age. If I'd bothered to learn her birthday that would have been the same too. I'm just sick. Maybe this is what I've wanted the whole time. Hell, that's probably why we were running away together to begin with! Little eight year old me probably just wanted to marry her sister too. I don't deserve to be on the same planet as her." Elsa slammed her fist into the table, knocking over the shot glasses.
Kristoff took a swig from the bottle in response. "Elsa..." he started, still at a loss for words.
"I don't need your pity. I'm a mad animal that needs to be put down. I should be quarantined so I can't corrupt anyone else."
"Else, she loved you too. This wasn't your doing. Hell, she practically seduced you. I saw how she looked at you, she would have done anything for you. I'm sure she still would. This isn't your fault."
"I'm her older sister," she spat. "She's my responsibility."
"You're not a monster, Else." Elsa only stared at the puddle of vodka on the coffee table. "You are my best friend. Hell, you're my sister." The word prompted another bout of sobs from the blonde. "You are a good person. You have never tried to hurt anyone. All you want to do is save people. Remember how you've devoted your life to that, huh? That whole being a doctor thing? Does that sound like a monster to you?"
"I guess I'm Herbert West then. I always have to go and create my own monster. I just so happen to be that monster."
"That's more Dr. Jekyll than Herbert West," Kristoff countered.
Elsa glared at him.
"Elsa, I don't know what to tell you. Clearly I can't just say everything will be fine. In fact, eventually you're going to have to talk to Anna, I can guarantee there's no way you'll be able to avoid her forever, but what I can offer, is that you can stay here for the rest of your break, you don't have to go back to your place, hell you probably still have your suitcase. I'll call out of work tomorrow, I already got my promotion, I don't have to be on my best behavior anymore. We can just drink this entire bottle of vodka and watch horror movies. Or if you think you're good enough at games now, I just found my Sega Genesis and Golden Axe." This prompted even more tears. "Shit, I didn't think that through. Okay, horror movies. Let's start our Christmas marathon early, okay? I've got them all on my laptop, it's already hooked to the TV. What do you wanna watch first?"
Elsa stared at him. With another swig from the bottle of vodka, she finally found the strength to hesitantly offer, "Treevenge?"
Kristoff nodded, "Okay, I'll start it up. Do you want popcorn?" Elsa just shook her head. "Chocolate?" More sobs. "Okay, just vodka then. Perfect."
The two watched Christmas trees kill people. Due to the mood they were in it was actually more disturbing than funny, but it was enjoyable none the less. By the time the movie was over the bottle of vodka had somehow managed to grow empty and be replaced by a bottle of rum.
As the credits rolled, Elsa turned to her friend. "I think I really hurt her," she was still not slurring her words at all. When had she gained this magical tolerance?
Kristoff stroked the blonde's hair. "I know," Kristoff managed to say, his tongue feeling thick. "You were hurt too. You had every right," he threw back another shot, "to be upset."
Elsa went over to the computer and started Jack Frost. If this couldn't make her smile, nothing could. Except Anna. She ignored the intruding thought as the movie started. She drank another swig straight from the bottle, put her feet up on the table, and reclined against her friend. Kristoff was increasingly convinced that Elsa had finally cracked. She was even still wearing shoes. He didn't mention it, if this was what she needed, that was fine, it wasn't like he was concerned about cleanliness.
Elsa's mood remained unchanged. Not even a killer snowman had any effect on her. She was lost to the world. "Wanna play that Golden thing?" Elsa asked, stirring the unconscious Kristoff from his slumber against her shoulder.
"Wha?" he asked blearily.
"That Golden Ox game or whatever it was."
"Golden Axe," he laughed, the words almost coming out unslurred. "If you're up for it, sure."
When the game was all set up, Elsa picked the redheaded amazon warrior, hating herself and choking back tears. She missed her so much already.
Kristoff, in his addled and excited state, didn't notice. He picked the old dwarven warrior, slaughtering enemies with his axe, as Elsa repeatedly accidentally rained fire down upon their enemies. "Stop wasting your magic potions!" he shouted after the fourth time.
"Fuck off," she replied, stealing an enemy's dragon. The two played for hours. They finally started to pass out at some point after they fought their way through a giant turtle floating in the sky.
They woke up seven hours later, with the title screen playing on a loop, taunting their fearsome hangovers. "Fuck!" Kristoff shouted, smashed the power button on the TV, replacing the light and sound with a blissful nothing. Elsa reached under the couch for the bottle of ibuprofen that somehow always ended up there. Finding it, she gave them both four pills, which they chased with another shot of rum.
"Do you have any bacon?" she asked, turning to the blond.
"Of course," he replied. "Still no oven though. That includes the stove."
"I'll pardon the sacrilege and use your microwave. We need greasy food." She left for the kitchen and returned shortly with a plate of bacon that lacked all of the appeal of her normal culinary feats.
Kristoff tasted a piece. It tasted like he might as well have made it. He was disappointed, but he still ate most of the plate. "Thanks."
"I bet we could beat that game today," she said, eating her own bacon, a small amount of grease on her face.
That was what she wanted to talk about? She still didn't seem like herself, but it was something. "Of course we can. You have me teaching you. I'm the best."
A forlorn look crossed Elsa's face, before falling into one of confidence. "Absolutely. Let's go kill those whatever-we-were-killing."
It was something, and Kristoff was willing to take it. She could recover in her own time. He would do whatever it took to see to that.