A/N: Your kind reviews have inspired me to continue this story, which makes it no longer a one-shot. Writing this chapter has lead to me to come up with 1 (possibly 2) more chapters for this story. Hope you all enjoy!
"Sister Bernadette!" exclaimed Sister Julienne
Sister Bernadette felt the heat rise in her cheeks mortified of what Sister Julienne just witnessed. She looked over to to see an expression that she had never seen before on his face, one of panic. She knew that she should say something, but words were beyond her in this moment.
"What is going on here?" Sister Julienne prompted
"I lost control of myself I am so sorry Sister" Dr. Turner said as he turned and faced Sister Bernadette
Again, she knew that she should say something back, but she had no idea what to say, still in shock of everything that had happened. So instead, she found herself starring at him.
"I would like for you to come with me to my office Sister" she told her
"Yes Sister" she replied
Dr. Turner grabbed the white towel on the outermost shelf and walked out. Sister Julienne opened the door wider and held her arm up to motion for Sister Bernadette to exit the closet. She walked out and Sister Julienne closed the closet door and followed behind her as they walked down the hall towards her office. Sister Bernadette feared what she was about to have to put to words. How could she confess that she liked the way his lips felt against hers and the high she felt when she was in his embrace. They walked through the chapel and into her office. Sister Julienne walked over to the chair behind her desk and sat down and Sister Bernadette sat in the chair across from her.
"Now that we are in private, I have to ask you, did Dr. Turner force you into the action that I just witnessed?" Sister Julienne asked
Sister Bernadette knew that she couldn't keep silent any longer, and she certainly did not want Dr. Turner to take all the blame for this or possibly be asked to leave Poplar. So fighting all the dread and fear that filled inside her, she said "No"
"Is that the first time it happened?" Sister Julienne said
"Yes" she replied
Silence filled the room and Sister Bernadette knew that she owed her fellow Sister and dear friend more than the short answers that she was currently giving her, so she continued "I know that I took a vow of chastity and I remind myself of this every time I think about him, but no matter how hard I try it doesn't change the way that I feel about him. I've been praying for God to take these feelings away but today I failed Him and my fellow Sisters miserably and I just don't know what to do" she added and began to cry.
Sister Julienne grabbed the handkerchief that was sitting on her desk, handed it to Sister Bernadette and said "My Dear Sister, we all make mistakes and God will forgive you for this if you ask Him to. You are more than welcome to stay in here and cry as long as you want to and when you are finished crying I want to help you work through this at your own pace" she told her.
After weeks of trying to keep her sadness in, she finally decided to let herself have a good cry. With each sob she felt relief from the huge burden inside of her. Sister Julienne took her chair from her desk and moved it over beside Sister Bernadette, took a seat and gave her a hug. The warmth of her embrace brought so much comfort as she cried into her shoulder. The urge to keep crying slowly left her, but she still felt the weight of the things unsaid resting on her soul. Sister Julienne released Sister Bernadette from her embrace when she felt her breathing steady itself.
They sat in silence for a few moments until Sister Julienne asked, "You can tell me anything"
Telling the truth scared her to death, but she couldn't bear the thought of keeping this to herself any longer. So with all of the bravery she could muster, she said "Timothy doesn't have a motherly figure in his life and I had noticed that he had been struggling like I did when my mother died, so I started making an effort to talk to him when I saw him and listening to whatever interesting story he had from school that day." She paused in an attempt to collect her thoughts.
"I've noticed that Timothy is very fond of you, I remember delivering you one of his drawings not too long ago" Sister Julienne replied
"And that lead to and I seeing each other a lot more than usual. Between the time spent with Timothy and the times that and I would work together, my fondness for him grew especially after he, Trixie and I delivered Mave Carter's twins. After that I started praying for these feelings to go away and avoiding him at all cost. But then we got locked in the linens closet and" she paused to think of a way to word the incident.
"And what happened in there confirmed that my feelings aren't one sided. I am so thankful for the time I have spent as a nun along with all the things I have learned and the friendships I have made while I have been here, but I can't help but wonder what if." she said
"There is more than one way to lead a godly life, but leaving the religious life is not an easy journey. You would have to be sure that it would be something that you really want, even if things didn't work out with ." Sister Julienne advised
"Even before all of this happened I have felt like something was missing from my life and I thought that it would pass, but it has only gotten stronger. I'm so tired of living in this fear and doubt and I am ready to make a change." Sister Bernadette replied
"The most important thing I have to ask is if do you love Jesus with all of your heart, soul and mind and desire to serve and honor him?" Sister Julienne asked
"Yes, that hasn't changed" Sister Bernadette answered
"Are you sure that this is something you want to pursue?" she said
"Yes" Sister Bernadette replied
"Well I will make an appointment for us to go over the final paperwork a week from today which gives you six days for you to reflect and so I can make the proper arrangements. You will still go about as business as usual but I think it would be wise to avoid Dr. Turner until you have officially renounced your vows. We will keep this between us until the day before we go over the final paperwork, which is when I will help you tell everyone at Nonnatus about your decision." Sister Julienne told her
"Yes Sister. Thank you so much for your help and your support" she said
"You're welcome" Sister Julienne replied as she gave her a hug.
They got up out of their chairs and Sister Julienne moved her chair back behind her desk. Sister Bernadette left her office first with Sister Julienne following behind. All she could think about was how glad she was that she opened up to Sister Julienne and the excitement that she had for the future.