The next morning Reese woke up on the couch. She sat up and realized that Jasper never came back. She looked down at the floor wondering if there was some way to bring her back. She felt heartbroken that she never came back. Reese ran her fingers through her hair and got up to take a shower.

Even if Jasper never liked me… being her friend would've been better than nothing. I wish I went back to that cliff the next day and did what I wanted. I wouldn't be hurting now.

She just sat on the shower floor letting the water hit her.

"I hate myself."

X

X

Jasper was back at the ocean but in a different part of the shoreline.

She made sure no one had followed her and that she could finally be alone. Jasper didn't want to return to the barn or to Reese's apartment. The wind started to blow and it was getting colder. Jasper didn't know why it would but it was. She remembered something about seasons and that there was four of them but she only half listened to Reese about that.

Jasper barely heard someone calling her name over the sound of the waves. She was so upset at Lapis Lazuli for attacking her. It was then when she realized she would never change and she will always be that soldier that everyone hated. It never mattered and now she was going to be alone. She wondered if Peridot could fix the ship?

"Jasper!"

Jasper lifted her head to see Steven and Peridot running at her. She glared at them menacingly but it didn't deter them.

"What are you doing? Are you ok?" Steven asked.

"It doesn't concern you human."

"Well it does."

Jasper glared at Peridot.

"You know that Reese loves you right?" the little green said looking annoyed by Jasper's attitude.

"No one can love me."

"You're stupid, aren't you?"

Jasper stood up.

"Who do you think you are-

"You aren't the same asshole that was on that spaceship months ago. You love that human girl and you're being stupid!"

Steven finally covered his ears since Peridot started cussing.

"You know nothing about how anyone feels-

"I DON'T NEED TO KNOW! NO ONE HAS TO TELL ME- I'VE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN EYES!" Peridot yelled.

Jasper clenched her fists.

"Jasper calm down and Peridot quit yelling. Please?"

Jasper crossed her arms and pouted like a child.

"She does care about you a lot, "Steven said sitting beside of her, "You should talk to her."

"She wouldn't want to see me anyways."

"If you both care about each other enough then she'll forgive you."

"Let's go Peridot. Pearl said we only had thirty minutes."

Peridot rolled her eyes.

"I don't care what she has to say," she muttered and they started walking away.

"Bye Jasper!" Steven called, but she just ignored him.

X

X

Night finally fell, but it didn't stop the empty feeling Reese had inside her heart. Maybe I just got attached too fast for my own good. Because I had no friends, I gained one and went back to none. Reese covered her face fighting off the tears trying to keep control of herself.

"If she doesn't come back soon... I'll just go away. Doesn't matter anymore."

Reese fell asleep holding the pillow Jasper used.

X

The next day Steven went back but couldn't find Jasper anywhere and now Lapis was missing. He sighed. Sometimes adults were more complicated and stubborn but he didn't understand why. He was only 14 after all.

He just wanted everyone to get along. He wanted the planet to be saved and not have to worry about Homeworld anymore. Steven kicked at the sand staring into the water wondering if Jasper and Lapis had decided to refuse again and go back to the ocean. He knew that Lapis couldn't get Jasper out of her head because she was afraid.

"Come home Lapis. Jasper."

X

Reese sat at her kitchen bar staring at the coffee and cake she had made. She didn't want any but she kind of hoped the smell would reach Jasper but it wasn't likely, she was just torturing herself mentally. Why did anything ever matter after she had already given up some time ago? She glanced out the kitchen window seeing the sun sinking lower in the sky. It was about five now.

She hopped out of the chair and headed back to her room. Reese felt no need to write a letter or say any last words to anyone. She sat on her bed to think and make sure this was it for her. It honestly was, Jasper only delayed it some and that was it. If not now it would be later.

After all… She was only human. Jasper could live forever while she would die of old age or sickness.

She smiled sadly. What a waste of life.

After a few hours, Reese left the apartment and locked it. She slipped the key under the mat and walked away. It felt like her legs were made of lead, she knew she had decided to throw herself off the cliff but sadness filled her heart. She didn't want it to end this way- not when she didn't do anything wrong.

Soon, the cliff came into view and her heart started to pound fiercely. This was it. Reese kicked her sandals off and broke off into a sprint. The cold wind blowing through her hair and nipped at her face. Her left hit the edge and she jumped into the air.

Reese started falling fast, she could feel the ocean spraying water on her face. She smiled but someone grabbed her arms. Her head whipped upward to see Lapis Lazuli hovering above her holding on her. Her water wings flapping as she held her a foot from the sharp rock below.

"What are you doing?!" Reese yelled, "Haven't you done enough?!"

"I know I'm sorry."

"Let me go!"

"I can't do that!"

Reese struggled against her the ocean gem's grip but it did no good. Lapis flew upward and sat her down on the grass. Reese fell to her knees angry and confused. Why was this happening now? Why was she being stopped a second time?

"I'm sorry for what I did. Amethyst talked to me sometime after. I had no idea Jasper had changed. I didn't know you were just like Steven... I am really sorry it's just I'm having a hard time coping with everything and when I saw her I got angry."

Reese's eyes started to overflow with tears.

"Why?! I wanted to be done with life and here you are stopping me! Jasper stopped me the first time but she didn't even know me! You don't know me either! Why stop me?!"

Lapis looked ashamed.

"I didn't know Jasper had changed your life so much."

"She did but it doesn't matter! She can't love me with you harboring your hatred for her. She knows you hate her but she's afraid of you! She didn't even want to go to the barn but she did because she wanted to help you guys. We both knew what it was like to suffer by the hands of someone else."

"You don't know what she did-

"You're right! I don't but she changed!"

Lapis stayed quiet.

Reese covered her face and cried. Lapis stood there at a loss for words.

"I'm only human and I care so much for someone who can't die. I care and I hate myself for everything I allowed myself to be turned into but she was the only hope I had. The only person who connected with me and I no longer was lonely- only to have it stolen from me!"

"Then let's find Jasper."

Reese glared at her, "Where is she huh? She never came back!"

"I-I don't know but let's look together! I want to make this right!"

Reese looked down at the water crashing against the cliff.

"What were you trying to do?"

"End my life."

Lapis rubbed her arm uncomfortably.

"Humans hate theirs lives too."

Lapis held out her hand, "Come on. I'll fly you."

Reese stood up and the water wings on Lapis' back spread out. She grabbed the human girl's arms and lifted her into the air. Reese looked down at the ocean, it was black since it was night time. The moon was hiding behind the clouds tonight making it look eerie.

"You know... You're strange for a human being."

"Why is that?"

"You care more for someone else than yourself."

Reese looked up at her.

"It's my first time for caring."

Lapis looked down at her and smiled.

"I know what you mean. I only cared for Steven since he saved me from the mirror."

Maybe she isn't so bad after all.

"I wanted to save Steven from Jasper because she had kidnapped me and Steven with his other friends. I trapped her into a fusion and dragged her into the ocean. It was wrong but it's all I could do for him. In the end... They saved us. No one could find Jasper for the longest time until you started hanging out with her."

"Is that a good reason to tackle someone?"

"No, it wasn't. It was hard for me to believe that she would change like that but…"

"You know, she spent most her time in the ocean. She was always in the same spot…"

Lapis felt saddened she had affected Jasper that much she would just sit in the ocean.

"I guess if she never did stay there, she would've never stopped me that night. I guess I wouldn't be here right now."

"I think you being alive is a good thing. You changed someone who was mean and such a brute. I guess maybe it was from her war days a long time ago."

"She's a little loud and rough around the edges but she's the nicest person I ever met. I just wish she would come home."

X

X

Lapis checked in with Steven and the Crystal Gems but there was no sign of Jasper anywhere near the beach house or at the barn. The only good news they had was the drill for the Cluster was almost done. Reese didn't want to be around the rest of them as it made her heart hurt more. She wished she would just pop up out of the water and tell her she was sorry even though she had no reason to be. Reese knew what it was like to hurt.

She hurt all the time. Hating her own life. The way her father treated her. The way she missed her mom.

Reese waited on the stairs at Lapis dropped down beside of her.

"Anything?" Reese asked and Lapis shook her head.

It was already late the next day.

"You want to try the warp pad? We check gem places to widened our search."

"I guess if you want too."

The two of them walked along the beach until Steven's house came into view. Reese started running with Lapis behind her until they reached the stairs. There were no sounds coming from the house, meaning they were still at the barn. They walked through the door and looked around. There was someone in the refrigerator messing around.

Lapis slammed the screen door and Peridot jumped from the fridge.

"What the hell is your problem Lapis Lazuli?! Scaring me and everything!"

Reese made a face at her and Peridot glared back at her.

"What are you two doing here?" the little green gem asked.

"We are using the warp pad," Lapis answered as they walked forward.

"I don't know if the Crystal Gems would like that…"

"We don't care, we are looking for Jasper."

"That giant brute of a gem made it clear she didn't want to be seen a few days ago. Just leave her alone."

Peridot looked over at Reese's hurt expression and sighed.

"Look, I wanna help but I'm helping with the drill. Since she's scarred by Lapis' imprisonment so maybe she's out in the water somewhere. Why don't you go look there?"

Lapis walked onto the warp pad and Reese followed behind her.

"Bye Peridot."

They waved as they warped off someplace else.

"Whatever…" Peridot went back to the fridge and grabbed the items that Steven had requested.

The lights started blinking. The ground started to shake lightly enough for Peridot to notice.

"The Cluster!" she yelled throwing everything back in the fridge and running to the warp pad for the barn.