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Hermione didn't know what hit her first – the sudden realization something very bad was about to happen or the large male palm across her face, the latter sending her a few steps to her left. Dumbfounded she put a hand over her flaming side and stared at Draco, who was now positively looking insane. Eyes as large as saucers and breath so fast she thought he might be hyperventilating, he was sitting on the chair paralyzed. With small, careful steps and both hands raised in an attempt to show him she meant no harm, Hermione moved towards him.
"Do not come an inch closer" he hissed.
She swallowed hard and mustered an encouraging smile in hope of calming him down.
"Okay– okay, I'm standing here, don't worry."
"You crazy– stay away from me! What do you want? I have nothing to give you anymore. I don't want to give you any more! I'll kill you–"
His face was an ugly mask of fear and anger, tears threatening to go down his pale cheeks. She took the chance when he went to grab his wand from his trousers and jumped with all her height and weight on top of him, forcing him to flop backwards, successfully hitting both his head on the handle and her forehead in his elbow.
He immediately started struggling against his restraint but she quickly took hold of his shoulders and pinned him down. The position was anything but comfortable and not only physically.
"Malfoy! Draco, stop this right now! If you swing at me one more time, I swear to God, I will not hesitate to castrate you, do you hear?"
He immediately stopped wrestling, only the pained look remaining on his features.
Hermione almost slapped herself this time.
"Who am I, Draco?"
"Aunt– Auntie Bella." he whispered in his most childishly terrified and muted down voice she never imagined he owned.
She let out an exaggerated puff and looked him straight in the eye, remembering how she handled Harry's similar fits whenever she sedated him before a treatment. Stupid, stupid Hermione. Of course wizards would react particularly to muggle chemistry. Of course Harry would almost Arvada her that first time he came with a gum infection after he said he fancied her a bit in Second Year. Of-merry-course.
"Draco Lucious Malfoy, I, Hermione Jean Granger am no other but myself and it would do you good to remember that. Would you kindly stop trying to murder me?"
It took him a few moments but the fog in his mind seemed to lift and he focused his eyes on her.
"Hermione?"
And then he did the second most unexpected thing that day and wrapped his arms around her body locking her in a tight embrace. She was forced to lean on his body fully, only her bum left in the air because she was definitely not sitting on his crotch. Hermione felt his sigh on the side of her neck and the palpable relaxation of his stiffened muscles. The position would have been comical if it weren't for her shock and the beginning of a cramp in her right leg.
"Malfoy. What are you doing?"
"I am so sorry."
"That's it, you're still intoxicated, let's get you a lavage–"
"I'm fine, Granger. Just sit still for a moment."
Well, her leg was already a lost cause anyway.
"Alright."
They laid like that for what seemed more than a couple of minutes until he finally sat up, arms still tight around her and face buried in the crook of her shoulder.
"I could sue you for malicious intent and an attempted, very successfully, intoxication." He muttered.
"I could sue you for privacy violation."
"You wouldn't."
"Then you shouldn't. Could you please let go."
His arms immediately fell off. She felt her back relax from the uncomfortable angle and her leg pulsating with irritation.
Draco's consciousness suddenly caught up with him – he had just slapped and then hugged the Hermione Granger, war heroine, tooth healer and the absolutely last person to slap and hug, not necessarily in the same order. He raised from his spot all of a sudden, whispered an apology and went straight for the door, grabbing his coat in the process.
"Wait, Malfoy– " she got to him before he could open and disappear. "You needn't worry, okay? We can– hell, I don't know, talk about this maybe? You're only the first pureblood to be treated with dental sedation, at least in my presence and the second non-muggleborn ever. If you could just– "
His jaw flexed with anger. He just shared, against his will, one of his most traumatizing memories from his dandy childhood with, coincidentally, his childhood nemesis' best friend and she wanted to turn him into a lab rat.
"And what, Granger, stay for a cup of tea and a casual dissection? If I were you I'd do my fair share of research before sticking questionable substances in my patients."
"Oh, don't be such a dramatical nuisance, I was going to ask you some questions! You were the one forcing me to comfort you a minute ago."
"Excuse me, I just saw my dead psychotic aunt crawl out of that big mouth of yours, how would you feel in my shoes, hm?"
She was getting pissed if the rapid blinking and enlarged nostrils were any sign. He wasn't really experiencing any regret having forced that out of her. If anything, it was a nice distraction from the porcelain face with glass eyes still burned in his mind.
"If you weren't such an incompetent potions brewer you wouldn't have had to come all the way here and mess with my schedule and personal space! You arrogant dolt! I was trying to help."
"You clearly need some instructions on how to give proper aid and how to not traumatize your patients."
"You sure don't seem that traumatized."
"I will be if I have to look a minute longer at that atrocious excuse for an outfit."
"It's work clothes! I could probably make a tent out of that coat. Did you intend to hide in it? You should have covered that streetlight of a hair you have."
"That was petty. What's a streetlight anyway?"
She took a deep breath and forced her temper down.
"How did you even get here alive?"
"I apparated, obviously. Yes, Granger, with the needed maneuvers considered beforehand, do not give me that Mcgonagall look."
She waved her hands between them as if to chase a fly away.
"Look, as much as I enjoy a throwback to those lovely years of torture in school, I'd really appreciate if we could maybe leave it for a more comfortable time and place?"
His initial confused expression stretched into a confident smirk.
"Are you asking me out on a date, Granger? I must admit, I never knew you were that straightforward about those types of things. You know, there was this nickname you had among our classmates that went along the lines of Granger-danger if I remember correctly."
The sound of her teeth gritting was blissful music to his ears.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Malfoy. I need to examine your reaction properly and maybe connect some dots. Of course, it's my treat since I know you wouldn't comply if there isn't something in it for you. And for your information, the nickname started from Ronald and Harry.
"I'm reserving my right to ask about the origin of it when I can embarrass you publicly. I'm also definitely not letting you pick the place because I don't trust your aesthetic judgement."
"Have it your way but I'm not feeding your silver-spoon-up-the-arse pretenses. Choose something relatively affordable."
They started at each other daringly for a few moments until her lips trembled with pent-up laughter and soon broke into a giggle, the sound ringing off the walls and making it sound like a symphony. He found himself smiling at her, half because she looked absolutely ridiculous shaking like that and partly because it was contagious, her carelessness.
The phone rang cutting them off and she went to pick it up.
"Doc, Igor is here and he said he'll take his own tooth out if he has to wait a minute more." There was a brief pause and a background voice. "He also said he wants to know who you've replaced him with." Another pause. "And if he's more handsome."
Hermione rubbed her temple and chuckled.
"Tell him he's irreplaceable and he can come in as soon as my patient goes out."
But Draco was already closing the door behind him shouting "8pm, Tuesday!" from the corridor.
She closed the phone and rolled her eyes impressively high for no one to see.
"Ambiguous git."