"Remind me why we're babysitting Loki's daughter?"
Pepper didn't pause reading her book. "Because she's also Jane's daughter and Jane is one of your best friends. And because I'm due in three months and both of us need to get used to having kids around."
"Can't we just watch videos like the other parents?" Tony grumbled, his arms crossed over his chest.
"We tried that and you fell asleep," Pepper replied.
"Not my fault they waste time with boring stuff like breathing and… breathing. I don't even remember what else. That's how dull it was. Like watching paint dry."
Pepper rolled her eyes as she marked her place in 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'. It was a quarter to one and according to the schedule Jane left, it was time for Christina to have lunch. Grilled cheese with the crusts on and celery sticks. A sure pleaser for the magically inclined toddler.
Getting up, she bumped into a doll flying through the air, guided by what Loki referred to as 'a basic levitation spell'. If this was what sorcerers considered basic, Pepper didn't want to know what the advanced stuff was like.
"Sorry Aunt Pepper!" Christina called out from across the room. She'd made herself a spot by the window. Crayons were everywhere and ten more dolls hovered in a circle over her head. Most were ponies, but a couple, like the one Pepper had just been introduced to, were human.
"That's okay, sweetheart. Be more careful next time."
She waddled to the kitchen, taking careful, calculated steps. The last time she saw her feet was Thanksgiving. Just part of having two babies to carry instead of one. Getting the bread and cheese, she stayed close to the living room, watching Christina play and Tony polish one of his helmets.
"Uncle Tony, when are the babies coming?" Christina asked.
"Soon," he said, throwing the dirty rag aside for someone else to pick up. "The doctors are thinking late March."
"I was born in June."
"I know."
"Like my mommy."
"I know."
"When were you born?"
"In May."
"When was Aunt Pepper born?"
"September."
"Do you know when daddy was born?"
"The Proterozoic Era."
Christina blinked a few times. She tilted her head to one side. "What's that?"
"It means your dad's been around a long time," Tony grinned, and he was lucky Loki wasn't here or he'd be bald for a month again. "A really really really really really really really long time."
"That's a lot of reallys."
"Damn right it is."
"Tony!" Pepper brought the freshly made sandwich and a few small stalks of celery out on a plate. "Language."
"You sound like Cap during his weird period," said Tony. "All I said was damn. Not like I called him a shi-"
"Okay, enough of that, time to eat." Pepper beckoned Christina to come sit on the couch, just in time for the phone to ring with Loki's number flashing on screen. Tony reached for it, but Christina was quicker.
"Hi Daddy. I'm having lots of fun with Aunt Pepper and Uncle Tony. Uncle Tony was just saying how you're really old, but he used more reallys."
Pepper shot Tony a 'now you're gonna get it' look, which he countered with a 'please what's the worst that could happen?' look. As if years of dealing with Loki's antics hadn't taught him this exact lesson twenty times over.
"Okay, bye Daddy. I love you!" Christina hung up, then turned to Tony with a confused expression. "Daddy said he's gonna show you what old is, but I don't know what that means."
A tiny pop like a lightbulb burning out followed. Christina's eyes bugged out and then she dissolved into laughter, her little body doubling over. Pepper hated to admit it, but she could relate.
"Oh my god," she gasped, pointing at Tony's head.
"What? What did he do?" Tony felt at his hair desperately, ensuring it was all still intact and where it belonged on his scalp. He grabbed the helmet, it's shiny surface reflecting back at him a head of snowy white hair. The helmet slid out between his sweaty fingers. "LOKI!"