Uchiha Yugi sighed as he read yet another police report. He'd gotten himself hired on as the Station's night Janitor for a reason, and part of that reason was that it was the antithesis to what he was doing now. Fugaku had asked him to take the position while he worked at the Academy though, and he couldn't refuse since the man was Clan Head and therefore could make his life hell if he refused. If he'd had his old position, he would be at home asleep right now rather than squinting in the light of that abomination called the sun and trying to read what one of his cousins had written about a homicide that had taken place in the middle of the night.
The station was uncharacteristically deserted at this hour because of the to-do in the compound. A to-do that he fortunately hadn't gotten caught up in because he didn't have any children. None that he knew of at least. Being what he currently was, he had to be on-duty despite the fact that the rest of the station was empty, and there would be nobody to relieve him. That, and he couldn't engage in his favorite downtime activity, which was to sit in his tiny office with his electric kettle and his stash of dirty magazines.
"Chief!" a KMPF officer who'd been on patrol because he didn't have any kids and therefore wasn't part of that whole "Child Welfare" check yelled as he slammed open the door to the big office that Yugi was forced to occupy for the time being.
"What!" he yelled back, not bothering to make an attempt to retrieve the pages of the illegible report that had gone flying.
"There's a big problem, and we need you down at the Market!" the teenager breathlessly yelled.
"Fine!" he snapped as he retrieved his vest and headed out to work.
Damn his stupid honesty and absolute lack of ambition.
Tenzo made a face as he took in the contents of the Uzumaki child's diaper. When he'd asked to be trusted with more work, this hadn't been what he'd had in mind. He had struggled with the reputation that he'd gotten ever since he'd been found, barely alive, in one of Orochimaru's labs. Many weren't willing to trust him because he'd been the experiment of a traitor, and therefore could've been a traitor himself even if he didn't know it. However, the Hokage had trusted him, and had been willing to take him on as an ANBU despite the fact that he could "snap at any minute".
While he should be honored that the Hokage had trusted him enough to let him look after the Jinchurriki, especially after that little shake-up that had stemmed from the Academy Incident, he didn't feel nearly as honored as he should be. Especially after Naruto's near-perfect aim had started to soak one of the eyeholes of his mask before he managed to duck out of the way.
Putting a fresh diaper on the Uzumaki in order to prepare him for his day proved to be a far more difficult task than he anticipated. It would appear that the boy had absorbed more of his ninja training than anyone had given him credit for, since he had managed to escape from him and had nearly reached the door before he had managed to catch the squirmy toddler who had struggled in his grip. After wrestling the Uzumaki back onto the changing table, he managed the disgusting task of cleaning the child's bottom, which was nearly as bad as cleaning up spilled entrails in order to hide a kill, and had even powdered the child's behind before the Uzumaki who had appeared to be cooperative until he'd let his guard down slightly had made another break for freedom. This time, the boy had made it into the hallway where he was stopped by Inu.
"You seem to have misplaced this." Inu said in a flat tone of voice that would seem absolutely emotionless to anyone but a fellow ANBU who would be able to see that, far from being emotionless, the boy who was a couple years older than him was trying to keep a great deal of emotion under control.
After securing the Uzumaki from Inu, who had walked off the instant he'd done so, he'd been forced to dress the boy who fought with him every step of the way.
If this was what babies were like, he was never going to have any children.
"No wonder the Uchiha are so messed up." the white-haired Branch House Hyuuga who served as the T&I department's Seal Master said as he adjusted the Prisoner Containment Seal behind which a spy from Iwa was held captive so the prisoner could be moved.
The Hokage, who had come to ask the T&I department's foremost seal expert about whether a Prisoner Containment Seal could be rendered harmless enough to contain a toddler as a second opinion to his own very considerable experience, winced as he watched the Iwa ninja slam himself against the side of the barrier behind which he was contained. He knew from personal experience which he'd gained during his youth exactly how much pain the twitching Iwa nin who was being held upright by the barrier was in. The worst part was that no matter how many times you slammed yourself against the barrier, you would never go mad or die from the ever-increasing pain that resulted. Unlike the Caged Bird Seal, from which there could be a release from suffering in the form of complete withdrawal from the world or merciful death.
There was good reason that the Uzumaki who had come up with this particular set of seals had been declared a war criminal in an era when brutality was considered a fact of life, and the Prisoner Containment Seals weren't even the worst of it.
Eventually, the Iwa nin was wrestled into an interrogation cell and left inside, allowing the elderly Hyuuga to turn his full attention to him.
"It might be possible to make the Prisoner Containment Seals safe, but nobody I know has done so before. Otherwise, everyone would be using them to corral their brats." the Hyuuga replied as he sealed the door of the interrogation room. "Odds are that the reason behind the unusually high pain tolerance of the Uchiha is those seals."
Having had the decision that he'd begun to think might've been a rash one as time distanced him from it confirmed as having been the right one, the Hokage left. The Uchiha may rant and rail against him over his "taking away their rights and traditions", but he was doing it for their own good. He would have abolished that thrice-damned Caged Bird Seal if he could. But, thanks to a number of documents one of his predecessors who had brought the Hyuuga to Konoha had signed, the village, which hadn't yet recovered from the Kyuubi attack, would be beggared by the severance settlement they would have to pay when the Hyuuga left. As he knew they would rather than give up their "rights".
The Uchiha, being one of the founding clans of the village, would be far less likely to leave than the Hyuuga. And, if they up and did, the village wouldn't owe them squat, since no agreements between them and the office of the Hokage nor the Village of Konoha itself had been made.
The worst things about being Hokage were the number of sacrifices he was forced to make on a daily basis, and the horrific things he was forced to consider for the sake of the village. It was understandable that his children had withdrawn from him, considering...
Fugaku watched coldly as one of his cousins was led away by the ANBU. Normally, he would've been furious at this overreach by the Hokage, but in this case...
An examination of the bastard's children had revealed that the bastard had been using the full set of Prisoner Containment Seals, rather than the modified version with a shiftable power level that a Uzumaki who had joined the clan back in the distant past had created. The modified version that his clan had been using to keep their children out of harm's way for generations. The modified version that every member of the clan had taken down and removed all evidence of during the night so the ANBU couldn't "prove" anything and take their children from them.
Shockingly, the bastard whose name was going to be on the list of the Expelled before the day was out wasn't the only one who'd been caught using the full, unadulterated set on full power.
As he watched another member of his clan be led away, he wished he was at the Academy rather than here learning exactly how cruel some of his kin could be to the future of their clan. Since he wasn't going to be able to come to work that day due to clan matters, he had sent Mikoto to take his place while he supervised the Hokage's "Child Welfare Inspection", which had unfortunately turned out to be necessary in some cases. As soon as the Hokage's lot were gone, he was going to be meting out clan justice to a number of individuals who had thought they could do what they liked with certain clan assets under his nose.
Considering the way things had gone so far, it was looking like he might have to implement an old pre-Konoha clan tradition which had freed up most of the adults for the battlefield, and communally pool the children together to be raised by carefully selected members of the clan. He would be unpopular for this decision but, if people were stupid enough to not be able to take care of their own children...
"Oh, aren't you the most adorable thing ever!" Mikoto shrieked the instant a dark-eyed ANBU with brown hair who didn't look much older than twelve or thirteen carried Naruto into the classroom.
The ANBU nervously backed away and moved for a weapon as Mikoto ran up and snatched Naruto out of his arms. Mikoto, who wasn't all that much out of practice despite the fact that she had spent her time since the Third War raising her children, easily dodged the ANBU and squeezed the little toddler he'd been carrying into a tight hug. Smiling happily, Kushina's son wrapped his tiny arms around her neck and hugged her back.
"You and my son are going to be such good friends!" Mikoto said as she carried Naruto to the playpen with a barred lid from which little Sasuke was trying to escape. "Now be a good boy and play with Sasuke while Auntie Mikoto teaches this class!"
Turning away from the two small toddlers who were getting acquainted with each-other and towards the class as the last of the students shuffled in, Mikoto's motherly expression vanished like dry ice on the surface of the sun.
"Now listen up you little Maggots! If I tell you to do something..." Mikoto started, beginning a class that made the students dearly wish that Fugaku was teaching instead before it was even half-way over.
Edited 9-5-16.