From the diary of Elias the 3rd, 4/02/55

Another day of rioting and chaos.

I've been stuck in my apartment for a month ever since the first few Hylians came back to their homes and families. This display of power, on live television and on the internet, proved that Hylia wasn't some master hacker, or some child being used as a figurehead for a sinister organization that had technology thought impossible; she was a Goddess (To some people at the time)she had actual power in her tiny little body, and during that period of uncertainty all those years ago, no one had any idea what she wanted, what her purpose was fixing up random unfortunates across the world, or even where she even was! It left everyone to come to their own conclusion about this girl, and the religious fallout from her arrival and her display of power put the world in chaos.

And for me, my family life went to hell. My parents, hardcore Christains, nearly had a stroke because my sister, at 16 years of age and j came back to their house as a Hylian, on a dare from one of her friends. No one knew how she did it, security footage at the mall she was at showed that there was no possible way for her to have undergone any surgery whatsoever. Needless to say, she came to me in no time at all.

I mean it, she teleported, teleported, right to me while I was about to take a shower, crying her eyes out and bloodied with dozens of open wounds. And as I looked at her, crying and begging me for help, I felt an unnatural hatred stirring within me. I don't know what it was, or where it came from at the time, but for a few seconds I felt like my own baby sister was an abomination, something that should not have existed at all! But then, before I could grab the freshly used plunger and choke her with it's stench(As a side note, I had no idea why I wanted to do that) a golden glow enveloped her, and all of a sudden...

….I do not remember. To be quite frank, my memories of the next three days are nonexistent. I felt like..i was a different person! I woke up to my sister taking care of me while I laid in bed. I asked her what was wrong and she just giggled and gave me a mirror. My jaw dropped in shock; I was a Hylian! My skin tag under my chin was gone! In fact it was flawless and smooth, like I was a teenager again! In fact I was a teenager again, when I was thirty-three before! My teeth were a smooth shiny white, perfectly aligned and rooted into healthy pink gums. My hair was soft and long, and I could feel it resting beneath my butt. I stared in shock at my reflection, unable to move, or even speak, as my sister explained to me what had happened in a few short words...

"You've been reborn, bro." and it was here where I learned of the Church of Hylia, and where it was located shocked me even to this day. To this day I still can't believe those Scientology nuts had some basis in real facts.

-z-z-z-

The many warring parties of the Forest Realm portion of the Dark Lands had only two common foes that would warrant true cooperation between them. Sure, clans of the same species formed raiding parties on another species, like two different Blin clans working together to take out a Darknut outpost and share in the reward, in some cases backstabbing their partners, or if a Lynel came down from the icy mountains to the north. But there were two things that warranted actual cooperation without any backstabbing or trickery. The first was a Lynel Chieftan or General. They were larger than the average Lynel, blue or red in coloration and had the unique ability to transform their quadrupedal lower halves into two large, thick legs, allowing them to jump far and destroy hundreds of men within a single leap as they rained magic down upon them. The second was a more recent addition to not only the Dark Lands, but the world as well, her return to the mortal plane changing the very nature of the world itself. It was a name known and loathed by every clan in the Dark Lands and any attempt by this person to take over was met with an all out assault and heavy losses on both sides. This person was the False Goddess, Hylia.

She had come to this world centuries ago, back when the grass was green and the sky was blue, back when the Miniblins held what little territory they had in the days of the Hylian Royal family, and back when the Moblins and Darknuts of the Great Sea were on the verge of extinction. The Tower of the Gods, the structure that helped the hero of that era take down the mighty Ganondorf, was enveloped in a golden light and replaced by an even larger tower that looked seemingly endless. Over time, the Great Sea drained and became the Great Canyon, and the various Blin clans took advantage of this, selling and trading the technology used in their ships and tanks to the highest bidder to the surviving Hylians and other races that came to colonize the canyon after Hylia's arrival destroyed their homes and lives.

And when the Tower of the Goddess had finished growing, Hylia set her sights on New Hyrule whose armies were stretched thin and whose naval forces were borderline useless now.. She did not do to Hyrule what she did to the Tower of the Gods. No, she did not give the kingdom such mercy. Her appearance in the old kingdom was well documented thanks to the Miniblins of that era, who stole it from in their words 'some ugly freckled, big-nosed Hylian. The Impostor Goddess looked just as despicable and 'pure' as she did back in the days of Skyloft, only for some strange reason, she took the form of a mere child. The pictures of her arrival were only held by a few clan leaders, showing the end of a nation within five frames, and the power she displayed in those pictures, along with her familiar, yet now diminutive appearance, proved she was the impostor Goddess whose blasted champion fell the true god millenia ago.

The first frame showed her flying above what is now Crater three, scholars unable to decide if the village that formerly existed in that spot was called Aboda or Outset.

The second frame showed her from far away on a mountain. white dress fluttering in the wind as a hand was raised in the air.

The third showed a ball of light forming in her hand.

The fourth showed her throwing the ball in the direction of Hyrule Castle.

And the fifth... the fifth was the most horrifying. It showed the future sight of Lake 22, now a smoldering crater filled with lava. Hyrule Castle had been destroyed...and the rest of New Hyrule was next.

The Miniblin tribe recorded what happened next as Hylia sent out the one force that caused everyone in the Dark Lands to band together, her troopers, to wipe out the entirety of the Forest Realm within the span of three years. During this time, her castle began growing out of the crater Hyrule Castle formerly stood. The Miniblins that took advantage of the chaos, raiding and devouring what they saw, described the construction of Hylia's Castle as a pimple being formed. And like a pimple, it burst open to reveal the large, 10 story silver castle that was twice as large as the castle and the town that was there. It's appearance changed monthly, always in a cycle of predetermined designs depending on the whim of whoever was controlling it. The 'skin' that formed the castle hardened to form a shining, skin colored diamond. Once the Forest Realm was taken care of, the Snow Realm was next, the icy region turned uninhabitable to the point that the Anouki were killed by the cold. Now the mountains and peaks consisted mostly pink ice then it's natural rock formations, and very few habitable areas were known to exist; unfortunately, they were under the control of the Lynels, and unless you were in Hylia's army or knew the magic necessary to bind or contract a Lynel, and subsequently protect you from the intense cold, the Ice Realm would freeze you solid the second you got within 20 feet of it.

The Fire Realm was inaccessible to all but those that belonged to Hylia. A blue barrier surrounded the entire realm, vaporizing anyone not affiliated with Hylia's forces or any of her little colonists that managed to survive in the land.

The Ocean Realm was claimed by the Zoras, green, reptilian fish whose physical strength alone put them on par with the Lynels. If it wasn't for their bodies dependence on clean water, they would have overrun the Dark Lands ages ago. The once calm, peaceful waters had turned deadly as a result of the ancient magic used by the Zoras, making boat travel impossible. The skies became a stormy bright blue with soft white clouds that rained pink water and hail down to the earth. And just to further cement the fact that the Zoras didn't want any intruders, a large silver tornado raged endlessly in the very epicenter of the realm, an inhuman roar echoing out of it every few hours.

The fabled Sand Realm is said to be home to the last few native Hylians, but unless you could brave the Ocean Realm, there was no way to get there.

And throughout these lands was one consistent threat to those in the Forest Realm: Hylia's army, the Triforce Union. Dressed in bright, sleek golden armor, they were the reason no clan ever made a move to wipe the other's out and just stuck to petty murders, kidnappings, and other minor malevolent acts. The Union was named due to their golden armor resembling that of the Triforce itself, the helmets resembling the top point of the triangle, the left and right arms representing their respective points, and the thick blocky feet being the bottom of the triangle itself. Their bases around the forest portion of the Dark Lands were numerous, and their weaponry unmatched by anything the clans could put up. They came in a myriad of colors and sizes, and they all shared the same design aesthetic: sleek with no corners or edges, with parts that floated independently of the main units and seemingly had minds of their own. Few of the clans had these machines, but that was only because of the incompetence of the soldiers rather than clever strategy or misdirection. It was obvious that these warriors were greenhorns, making some wonder where the actual warriors were, and thanking Demise himself they were far away from the Forest Realm. But as they say, an imbecile with a gun can be just as deadly as a trained professional, and for the warring clans, their greatest enemies were powerful idiots.

..Such was not the case for the soldiers in the Ice Realm.

The roaring winds of the Ice Realm were drowned out by the sounds of laser fire, deep, bestial roars, and men and woman screaming, though if it was in fear or in rage you wouldn't be able to tell. A snowstorm raged throughout the area, though for both sides fighting against each other, it might as well be window decoration. Thousands of Lynels took on tens of thousands of Hylia's army, and were winning. They had used their magic to turn into bipeds, their back legs either turned into bulky arms to rip the arms off of the soldiers or wings to fly around and contend with the Impostor Goddess's aerial forces. They came in three different forms, all very angular shapes, and the ones doing the brunt of the fighting were red jets with tank treads on the bottom and, boar shaped noses and wings with thick claws at the end , and two thick clawed legs near their tails with the soles acting as the jets. The maw of the boar's head opened wide and shot out a smoke bomb as the pilot flew straight at the Lynel, using the confusion from the smoke to have the head chomp clean through the Lynel's torso. As the 'jet' flew out of the smoke, the head heated up to destroy the corpse's remains. "Enemy down!" The pilot, a human, said over his radio, it and the radar showing the enemy working perfectly fine despite the storm. "Sector 22 is now 33% clear!" He flew near a wall of ice, using the claws on the front of the jet to dig through the ice as it flew along. Each and every chunk was sucked through a tube in the claw and into a special chamber in the nose of the jet. "I have smoke bombs ready for deployment, engines running at 88%! Have we made contact with the Great Canyon or the Goddesses?!"

…..(Negative!) A female voice answered on the radio as the jet flew down where a Lynel was eating the remains of a group of soldiers. (We can't even break through this rock! And these centaur things keep throwing bombs! Like the ones you see in those old cartoons! And I-) The sound of explosiosn filled the comm as the pilot dropped a bomb onto the Lynel below. (I-I think these bombs are being grown!)

"What?!"

(Yeah! One of them's been reaching down to the same patch of grass and coming back up with a bomb! THEY HAVE BOMB PLANTS HERE!) The pilot's eyes widened under his helmet, the shock of such an amazingly stupid thing existing so unbelievable that he didn't notice his radar warning him of an incoming projectile until it was too late and his face was caved in by a Lynel's fist, head flying out of the cockpit window with a large hole in the side of it. (D-44, what was that?!) The woman on the other end asked as the plane went down, the Lynel holding onto it with one hand and the former pilot's brain in the other. (I heard you window breaking, what happened?!)

"Mayday mayday, I'm coming down!" 'Pilot D-44' said, his voice coming out of the Lynel's mouth as the creature's hand detached and reformed the head that was just knocked off. "Request immediate evac!" The Lynel chuckled as he flew off, limb growing back. He didn't know why these nuisances invaded, but the things they bought were quite welcome. He'd always wanted a Lizalfos arm so he wouldn't have to use a Whetstone, and thankfully the soldiers here had them in their ranks. And Gorons, and Deku and even those old Sea Zoras from the era of Queen Ruto. It was a calvacade of materials and knowledge! "Ohh, I can't wait until we absorb enough of their little brains.." the Lynel said as another jet passed by, the Lynel taking pursuit. "The Sage will be so happy once we can leave these lands without relying on magic contracts!"

-z- -z- -z-

While the one sided massacre happened above, below in the sub artic waters was a group of Union affiliated Zoras, wearing blue armor that produced a bubbly like barrier that conformed to their bodies and protected their bodies from freezing over. Four of them manned a large, undersea drill that tore through the rock, sitting inside at the computers while eight of them took the perimeter outside the machine, horrified by the ever increasing number on their screens.

"That's another one down." One of the Zoras said via his comm system as his HUD showed the four hundredth downed fighter in the past three hours. "By Hylia, they're massacring them up there!"

"Just be glad she chose a more primitive dimension, rookie." Said a Zora with bulkier armor and a visor in the shape of Nayru's emblem as the explosion of a jet lit up the pink waters. He was the leader of the group, the officer in charge of the actual reason the Triforce Union invaded the Ice Realm. "Last dimension's OSH got over 3000 of our men killed thanks to something called an 'Atomic Bomb!' this is pretty insignfigant compared to that failure!" He shook his head in dismay. "And after all that, no Triforce, and only three Hylians to show for it! Hylia wasn't very happy after that!"

"Four hundred and one.." Said another Zora listlessly. "I honestly don't know what lady Impa expects from us here. She made us bring the Lizalfos of all races! That's like asking us to go babysit their eggs in their biodome!"

"What'd you expect?" Said another Zora, who had decided to play an online game rather than keep watch. "She's smart and all that, but she's still a child...I think. I'm surprised she didn't nuke this frozen hellhole first instead of Hyrule, sure would've saved us the trouble of finding the Sage."

There was silence for a few minutes, all but one focusing on their guard duty and watching the lights that signalled the death of their comrades. "There's something wrong..." The leader muttered as he received new information on his screen.

"What do you mean? The boys above are doing what they're supposed to do, and they're doing it pretty well. We haven't had any interruptions down here and the centaurs haven't frozen the lake. And even if we did, a few thermal charges should clear up that problem."

"Not that.." The leader grumbled. "I just received word that one of the flying centaurs downed a plane. Only the plane windows were damaged and the pilot was perfectly fine."

"So?"

"Why would they leave one of our pilots alive when this battle and past intel showed them perfectly happy with ripping our soldiers and weaponry apart?"

(I don't know..) The eight Zora's turned to the machine in the horror at the unnaturally deep, growly voice on the comm. (I'd ask the fishes in this 'drill', but I just ate the last one.)

"I-Impossible!" All eight of them checked the drill's access logs, but to their horror, they found that there were no unauthorized entries. "How did you get in there?!"

(We Lynels, or centaurs as you like to call us,have magic that, according to these fishes, are in your realm of comprehension.) The Lynel chckled as the sound of a bone popping could be heard, the Zoras outside heading to the surface in a hurry. (Urghh..that was a tight fit. This is what you invaders get for underestimating our intelligence, and thanks to the magic of the Sage and the new ability she bestowed upon us, we're one step closer to-) The creature didn't get a chance to finish as the drill suddenly detonated, heating up the water enough to cause it t steam just as the last Zora jumped onto the icy ground above.

"I didn't expect that.." The leader grumbled, as his soldiers behind him lied on the ground panting in relief. He opened up a comm line. "This is unit leader Y-65. I have been forced to activate the self destruction protocol on drill number 55. the mission is a failure."

(I figured as much.) An emotionless voice said on the other end, one that filled Y-65 with relief. (This snowstorm interfered with my transmisson signal, but it's clearing up, for now. I'm teleporting in myself to fix this mess and find the moron who was in charge of gathering intelligence for this region.)

"He was killed in the explosion. He was one of the ones manning the drill."

(Well that makes my job easier. I just have one objective this time.) The call was cut and a bright light appeared in the middle of a dogfight in the west. When the light faded away, dozens of limbs and body parts fell from the sky, the parts looking as though they'd been cut clean through. Standing on the nose of one of the jets was a tall, tan Hylian woman in her 40s. Despite this she looked very fit for her age, though some men, and a few women, would say she was too 'fit' in certain areas. Her skin was a caramel color and her eyes were a sharp crimson, her waist length white hair flowing in the wind. She wore a black jumpsuit that had the image of a red eye with a tear going down it in the middle, and on her arms were two spiked gauntlets with gun barrels on the side. On her back was a large scabbard, as big as her body, colored black with the same symbol. Sticking out of it was a dragon shaped hilt, which the woman was gripping intensely. Lighting up her left gauntlet was a small, triangle-shaped marking, it's bright blue aura giving warmth and comfort to the losing army. With a mighty yell she unsheathed her blade, revealing it to be a giant great sword, as blue as the tattoo on her hand and completely transparent.

"Lady Impa.." Y-65 said in awe as she jumped off of one of the jets. "We might have a chance!"

As Impa fell through the air, she threw her sword in front of her and into the cluster of Lynels flying up to her. The creatures dropped down the second the sword began to glow, only five hit by the explosion of energy from the blade. The sword teleported back into Impa's scabbard as the woman teleported in front of the Zoras. "Alright, what happened?" She asked Y-65 angrily. "I had to take a leave of absence for this."

"W-we thought you were Nayru!" Y-65 nearly yelled, him and the Zoras bowing in respect. "Why were-"

"The Goddess was unable to penetrate the snowstorm with her current equipment." Impa said, her reasoning making Y-65 curious, though he didn't say anything. "And so she teleported me here in her stead. Now sit up and tell me why I'm here."

"Right." Y-65 and the Zoras rose up. "Approximately 40 hours ago, we received a mission from general Ralph to obtain the Sage of Light from the Ice Realm." He sighed. "It's...it's not going well, mam. We lost over 33% of our aerial forces and the centaur creatures seem to be able to contort themselves to get into our machinery. We had to destroy the drill we were using to break into their tunnel systems because one of them got in and killed our best scientists without any of us knowing!"

"..." Impa looked up at the chaos above and sighed. "So...there's only one way for them to break into that drill, or heck our technology."

"And that is?"

"They have a traitor working with them." The Lynels that managed to avoid the explosion of her sword landed around the group, surrounding them with bared fangs. "Let's see if I can wring the truth out of one of these chimeras."

-z- -z- -z-

The Restricted Zone, as the 'Subrosian' found, was a very small and circular area on a horizontal plane. It's true length, as he found out, lied in it's upward verticality. There were a lot of stairs he found, a lot. Like, he was sure he climbed up at least 144 flights before he asked for directions to the lava tunnels and realized he passed the entrance to it 40 floors below. And after trudging back down there, he found the right hallway and indeed there was the lava tunnel..glowing bright neon blue. 'How the heck did I miss it?!' He thought angrily as he walked down the hall. 'It's the only source of light in this godforsaken cave system!' There were nothing but Gorons in these caves, and being a Subrosian, he could see perfectly in ths darkness, which made going into the bright light incredibly painful. "Oughh my eyes.." He hissed as the light got brighter. 'Just have to disable this section of the transformation and..' He breathed a sigh of relief as his eyes adjusted. Thankfully the suit worked in tandem with the magic rings, meaning he could disable certain abilities and a weaknesses of those he transformed into.

The entrance to the lava tunnel was a large, circular room, the blue lava flowing slowly under a vent in the center. Beyond that was the entrance to the underground transport system for Gorons and Subrosians, the Lava Channel. Going all over the Great Canyon and underneath the tower itself, the Lava Channel was the quickest way to get around the Great Canyon...and the quickest way outside of using Hylia's teleport network to get to the Dark Lands. His suit had a complete map of the Lava Channel's tunnels, and since the legal way to travel these tunnels functioned like a rail network, he knew when and where the rock boats were going to be. 'All I have to do is get near one of these steam vents on the map and disappear.' He thought as he purchased a ticket and got in line for the boat, five Gorons waiting in front of him. 'This was easier than I thought.'

"Whew, I made it!" He turned around to see a blue robed Subrosian, a female one going by the voice, run to him panting heavily. "I thought I'd miss the boat!"

"No, it's still here." He told her, turning his attention back to the front of the line. "We have like a few minutes left before the boat arrives, so you're perfectly on time."

"WHEW! Thank goodness! My name's Graham!"

"I didn't ask for your-"

"What's your name?" She asked gleefully, getting way to close to his face for his liking.

"Stop that." He ordered, pushing her back. "I like my personal space.

"Wow, what a weird name!" Graham said cheerfully. "Nice to meetcha, Personal Space!"

"That's not funny." 'Personal Space' said as a Goron announcer came over the cave intercom, a hole in the ceiling where his voice echoed throughout the waiting room.

"What isn't funny?" Graham asked, getting into his face again. "You're weird."

"Thanks." Personal Space muttered, pushing her away with enough force to knock her on the floor as the line began to move. "Look, just leave me alone, ok?" 'I don't need anyone distracting me while I reactivate my suit.'

"Sorry, no can do!" Graham said cheerfully as her and Personal Space got into the boat shaped ferry. "The green robot lady said I had to look for a guy pretending to be a Subrosian."

It was a very lucky thing for 'Personal Space' that none of the creatures could understand the human curse words that flew out of his mouth.