Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, not mine, blah, blah, blah (except the plot, the plot is mine)

1997 – March 2

Silence filled the cabin. It wasn't the common quiet Hermione had faced those weeks Draco had spent at school, but an eerie, almost deathly silence that created a cold and dark atmosphere.

She knew Draco must be hurting, must be hating himself for what he did. That much, she had seen the previous night in the hours the two had spent together on that bathroom floor.

Hermione had woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of retching and sobbing. Knowing something absolutely horrible must have happened, she had gotten out of bed and headed towards the noise. Hermione hated that she could do nothing more than hold his quivering form as he wept, but in that moment, something shifted inside her.

The reason she couldn't feel the unquenchable anger she should have experienced, the reason she didn't turn away from him the second she was told of what he had done, it was because she felt something for him. Hermione didn't quite understand what this meant yet, but couldn't deny the wrench in her heart when she first saw him in his state of distress, when she first gathered his trembling body into her arms.

The thought was completely and utterly insane. It had been such a short amount of time since she had really even discovered the true Draco Malfoy. Had she known before? Had she suspected as much? Was that why, even at school, she argued with Harry about Draco's intentions? Had she subconsciously been decoding the riddle of Draco Malfoy long before she had consciously noticed his struggle?

None of that mattered. At least not at this moment. Draco's soul was broken. He had been forced to become a murderer, forced to become the spawn of his father instead of his own person. She knew that eventually the hole could be patched up, but it would never heal completely, he would always carry that night with him.

Hermione knew that it wasn't going to be easy for him to get over this, nor should it be, but he shouldn't be locking himself in his room all day. She knew that it wasn't a good idea for Draco to be alone right now, doing nothing but reliving that night.

It was now early evening and had been hours since Draco had hidden himself away that morning. She couldn't imagine what horrible thoughts, what vile images, must be going through his mind. Even after not sleeping all night, Hermione doubted he had slept at all during his time alone that day.

After not hearing anything from him since their time in the bathroom, she was worried. She had knocked on his door, demanded he open it, even tried using magic to unlock it, but it was obviously warded. He probably just wanted some time to himself. Probably. But that didn't stop Hermione from seeing worst case scenarios.

So, she had been sitting on the sofa, just outside his room, all day in case he decided he no longer needed to be alone. She read books on advanced charms, potions, transfigurations, history, but nothing would keep her mind from slipping back to the boy in the next room.

Draco hadn't eaten all day and even though she understood he probably didn't have much of an appetite right then, he still needed food. Would he turn her down if she made him something?

Hermione got up determinedly from the sofa and walked over to the kitchen where she moved from cupboard to cupboard finding ingredients to make him some food, deciding that she needed to at least try to get Draco to eat something. She got out a pan, turned on the stove and began making a cheese toasty. They were the comfort food her mother always used to make for her when she was upset as a child. Maybe it would help Draco now.

Hermione flipped the sandwich onto a plate and turned off the stove, then, finding a glass, she filled it with cold water from the tap and brought it over to Draco's room. While precariously balancing the glass in one hand and the plate on her forearm, she knocked on the door. She had learned to expect not to get an answer on the first knock, so she wasn't surprised when he didn't respond. She knocked again.

"Draco?" she called. Still, there was nothing. "Draco, please answer. I know you're hurting right now, but please open the door."

There was more silence, but Hermione was not about to leave until Draco opened that door. For whatever reason, she needed to know that he was alright. Just as she was about to knock again, the door slowly opened and a greatly disheveled looking Draco stood darkly on the other side.

"What?" he asked. It seemed as if he was trying to sound harsh and cold, but the look of pain in his eyes took the edge out of the pointed statement.

Hermione shifted the plate back into her right hand and his eyes glanced down to the food.

She took a deep breath. "I know you're probably not very hungry, but I made you a grilled cheese sandwich. I hope it's alright that I found the ingredients and such. You haven't eaten all day, and it always helped when I was little and I was upset and my mother made some for me." She was rambling now. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to, I just thought it might help some. I know you probably just want some space, that's what I would do as well, but it's not good to keep everything bottled up inside, or to just be sitting there with your thoughts." She paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, I'm talking talking to much." She shook her head and held out the plate and glass of water to Draco, hoping he would take Them.

"Thank you," he said simply, slowly taking the items from her hands and holding it in front of him. He looked at it.

"Maybe, I turned out this way because my mother never made me comfort food," he said.

"No, Draco. Don't say that. You're not a monster. Sure you've made some mistakes, but hasn't everyone? What happened was not your choice, it wasn't you. You are not a monster. You aren't like the others!" she insisted.

"You barely even know me," Draco commented quietly.

He looked to be about on the verge of tears again as he silently shut the door. Hermione sighed, still standing outside. Of course, he wouldn't listen to her. Couldn't he see the difference between the real Death Eaters who reveled at the pain of others, and the emotions he was now feeling?

Hermione decided he needed some more time. When he was ready, he would come out of hiding. Hearing her own stomach whining for food, she walked back to the kitchen to make another toasty for herself.

1997 – March 7

Draco was a mess.

It was Friday morning and he was completely exhausted. He hadn't gone to a single class all week and was probably going to be in a whole lot of trouble if he ever did go back.

Every time he closed his eyes, the image of the man he had killed flashed in the darkness, making even the thought of sleep impossible. The moment when the killing curse left his wand and drained the life from the nameless man begging in front of him kept replaying over and over in his mind.

He knew he shouldn't be doing this, letting himself sit and think about the evil things he had done, but he just couldn't help it. The concerned, empathetic gaze he saw from Hermione sent so much shame flooding through his system. He couldn't leave his room and face her. She didn't see him as an evil monster, even after everything he had done. But he was, and he hated that she was stuck there with him when her kindness made her overlook that fact.

He was thankful and slightly amazed that Hermione kept making food for him and checking in to make sure he was alright. Every time she showed up at his door, he had to work extremely hard to control his emotions. He wasn't sure why he kept hiding, especially after that night in the bathroom, but he didn't want to let Hermione see him like this.

Oh, how he had waited for this moment since that Yule ball. This was what he had dreamed about for years, to have Hermione actually care about him. But now, it was clouded by the darkness of his recent actions.

Draco sat down on his bed. He had missed classes on Monday because he just couldn't bear to go there and face people, constantly questioning whether they knew about what had happened in that muggle neighborhood or not, paranoid that they thought he had killed Hermione. He could imagine people calling him out as a murderer, which he now could not refute.

That first day, he had gotten an owl from Snape.

Draco,

You must make your decision quickly.

S.S.

To which Draco had been thoroughly confused and responded;

S.S.

What decision are you talking about?

Draco

To him, there really hadn't been a decision to make. He had to stay in the Dark Lord's good graces because the consequences for anything else were terrifying, for both Hermione and himself.

Now, Draco sat, staring at the parchment on which Snape's response was written. How was that even a choice? Both ways would lead to his and Hermione's destruction. How could Snape ask him to make this decision?

Draco

The choices are to keep Miss Granger alive and both

stay in hiding until this is over, or continue on the path

you are headed, following your master which

entails following through on his previous commands. You

have until the next time you are called to make the choice.

If you decide to follow through on the first option, I

strongly advise you to tell me or the Order where you

are so you can be protected in the event that your

location is discovered.

S.S.

Draco was furious with Snape. How could he let him go through that horrible night before giving him these options?

He was so confused. There was no way out of this mess. Snape had to know that. He had even advised him to have people from the Order protect him because he knew they would be found!

Draco ran his fingers through his hair, tugging in frustration. He had killed a man in order to stay in the Dark Lord's good graces, and now Snape was telling him that making the choice he had meant Hermione had to die anyway? Was there really no way he could save her? Draco knew that if he left the Dark Lord, he would do anything to kill him, and Hermione. He knew too much, and that meant there was a good possibility Hermione also knew too much.

Snape had to be pretty convinced that Draco's occlumency skills wouldn't hold up against the Dark Lord's legilimency. If he was correct, facing the evil man would be the most dangerous for them both. If he looked into Draco's mind, he would not only discover that Hermione was still alive, but also exactly where she was.

The choices were really to keep Hermione alive, or not.

If he couldn't kill Hermione before, now would be even more impossible. How could he ever choose to kill her after everything that had happened? Then again, she would probably be killed in any case. The Death Eaters would find them and they would both have horrible deaths. If he chose this path, he would have become a murderer for nothing. He would have tortured and killed a man for no reason and that was hard to swallow.

He hated himself for even weighing the options. He needed to stop being so selfish. This was no longer about his life. He was already too far gone to save. He should be sent to Askaban. He deserved to be. But he doubted even the Order could protect her.

How could he ever trust Snape again? Was he playing some sort of twisted game? Draco thought back to the letter telling him to participate in the revel. He had thought there were no other options, but had Snape thought he had been clear?

Staying in the Dark Lord's good graces.

Had Snape meant that he was supposed to have already chosen whether or not Hermione was more important than his status as a Death Eater? Draco clenched his teeth together, furious with himself, and the world.

Why was he put in this situation? Why did everything have to be this difficult? He had killed a man!

But you learned something. Draco had no idea where the thought had come from, but there it was. He admitted, he had learned something, something profound, something that he had never encountered before. In that moment, he hadn't cared about himself. He hadn't cared that his soul was about to be ripped in two, he didn't care that there was no saving him from Askaban if he was ever caught, he didn't care about anything but the safety of Hermione Granger.

Draco had told Hermione that he didn't want to go back, that he didn't want to be forced to do this any longer, but he had felt that there was no way out. Now, it didn't matter if it was his way out, or to his death, what mattered was that it was Hermione's way out.

His decision was made. There was no way he could kill Hermione. He realized that it didn't really matter what happened to him, as long as she was safe. Considering his inability to kill the girl he knew continued to sit on the sofa outside his door, his death was fairly inevitable. No one had ever changed their stance in the war and lived. Everyone who had fled or hid had been hunted down and killed.

Moving along to the next issue at hand, Draco considered how he was to get into contact with the Order. Did he want to get them involved? Would they help him? Would they assume the worst and take Hermione elsewhere and leave him to die? He thought about that for a moment. Yes, that would be horrible for him, but Hermione would be safer, wouldn't she?

Draco ran his hands across his face. Could he talk to Hermione about what he should do? Was he ready to face her? He had to be. He didn't have much time before his decision was discovered by the Dark Lord, and he needed to find a way to protect her. Slowly, heart pounding in his ears, he stood up from the bed, and walked to the door.

It was Friday morning and Hermione was exhausted. It was extremely difficult to sleep because her mind just would not turn off. She had grown very lonely and even more worried as the week had gone on.

Hermione lay in bed and stared blankly at the ceiling as her mind wandered.

She thought about her friends back at Hogwarts, how they were doing, what they must be thinking. She worried about them, the pain they must be going through believing that she was dead.

And Draco, her only contact in this isolation was not to be seen. Sure she brought him food a few times every day and tried to talk to him, but he shut her out. She missed that day they had spent together. She had felt happy for the first time in a while, and Draco had seemed happy.

Her heart clenched at the thought of him, of what he was experiencing. Why was it that all she wanted to do was take away his pain? She couldn't understand her own emotions. He had terrorized her and her friends in school, yet, she wanted to comfort him.

Hermione dismissed the thought. It was time for her to make breakfast for Draco and herself, so she got up, dressed, and headed out into the kitchen.

She was shocked to smell food already cooking and Draco standing at the stove. Hermione stood there, wondering how he was, what he was thinking.

He put the food on two plates and turned around to put them on the table when he saw her. He froze, plates still in his hands.

"Hi," he said sort of awkwardly.

"Good morning," she replied. Hermione walked over to the table and Draco seemed to remember that he was holding the plates and quickly set them down. "How are you?" she asked seriously.

"I'm fine," he answered, taking a bite.

"No you're not," she told him.

He looked at her and the dark circles that had formed under his eyes suggested that she was right. It seemed as though he had not had any sleep in the past few days and was wrestling through some very heavy things. It was completely expected given what had happened.

He cleared his throat. "Snape owled me," he said.

"What do you mean he owled you?"

"He knows what is going on. He figured it out. Said he wanted to help. I wouldn't tell him this location for anything but, he even covered for me that first time I was called."

She remembered that first time. So that was why he hadn't left to meet the other Death Eaters. Her eyes went wide. Did that mean Snape was a Death Eater? She was so confused. Why would he want to help if he figured out what had really happened to her?

"He's the one who told me I needed to go… that night…" he took a deep breath. "He owled me again a few days ago telling me to make a decision."

"What decision?" she asked.

"That's what I asked. He sent an owl back saying that it was a choice between…" he paused as if not wanting to say it out loud. "between staying where I am as a Death Eater, meaning," he cleared his throat again. "killing you, or becoming a deserter and keeping you alive."

Hermione was shocked. Professor Snape had given him the option of killing her? Wait, Professor Snape sent Draco on that revel then asked him to give up being a Death Eater? Something didn't seem right here. Why wouldn't he give Draco a way out before traumatizing him like that?

"Have you made a decision then?" she asked quietly.

"You think I would kill you?" he questioned, sounding hurt.

"Not really," she replied, though it didn't seem to squash the hurt in his eyes.

"I just don't know how to keep you safe. If I'm a deserter, they have ways of finding people. If I continued to work for the Dark Lord, he could discover everything; including where you are," he explained.

Now she felt horrible. How could she have said something like that? Especially after witnessing his breakdown after what he had been forced to do by the Death Eaters, how could she question his decision? Of course he wouldn't kill her! She didn't know why that came out of her mouth. He just wanted to keep her safe and there she was basically accusing him of wanting to kill her!

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have questioned you. I don't know why I did. I know that you wouldn't kill me to be a Death Eater-" he interrupted her.

"I am a Death Eater and there's no changing that fact. I'm marked and nobody can undo that. The only thing that is different are my actions and intentions." He looked down at his plate.

"No, Draco. You are not a Death Eater. The mark is just one part. The title Death Eater describes who you follow, it describes your views and prejudices. You may be marked, but you are not a Death Eater," Hermione insisted, but by the way he looked down at his plate and shook his head slightly, she could see that he didn't believe what she was saying.

He took a breath. "Snape wants me to tell either him or the Order of this location but I'm not sure what I should do. I don't even know how I would contact the Order."

"Tell Dumbledore," Hermione quickly advised. He would know what to do, he would be able to protect them. "Explain to him what happened, why you did what you did, and what you want moving forwards. One thing everyone knows about Dumbledore is that he loves to give second chances. It certainly helps that he is the leader of the Order of the Phoenix."

Draco seemed skeptical. She covered his hand with her own and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"Dumbledore will help us," she told him, eyes locked with his.

Silence stretched out between them. With her hand still clasped with his, she waited in anticipation for his reply.

Finally, he nodded his acceptance.

Author's Note:

Hey You!

Yes you, the one who just finished reading my new chapter and now is going to move on with their day without another thought. Let me ask you a question. If you are an author, do you like getting reviews? If you aren't an author, would you like to get reviews if you did write?

It seems as though only a few people actually enjoy reading my story and it is a bit disheartening.

Thanks to bennettfan84, FortyFandoms, and Elena for your thoughts.

To everyone else. If you answered 'yes' to the above questions, leave me a couple words of encouragement. It is going to be very difficult for me to update in the next few weeks due to school and I am going to need a lot of motivation if I am going to get my work done in time to update for Sunday.

Thanks and have a great week!