Disclaimer: JK Rowling is the brilliant one, I just play along

1997 – February 4

Draco could hear his heart thundering in his chest, time seeming to move in slow motion. He stared at the table in front of him in an attempt not to let the Dark Lord see how terrified he was.

He hated these meetings. Everything about them made Draco feel a growing ache inside, a bubble of fear rising up every time he even looked at the room. The dark magic that had been used in the space seemed to cling to the walls and the furniture, making his skin tingle with dread. There was always some different horrifying aspect to the meetings, whether it be punishing the misdeed of a follower, torturing some unfortunate soul who dared stand against them, or simply planning the next attack. This meeting was different and Draco was doing everything in his power to keep his panic internal.

All eyes seemed to be on him, as though they all knew something that he didn't. They probably did considering he had been back at school for almost two months since the holidays were over. Draco hadn't been around as much to hear the regular Death Eater gossip, which he had been very relieved about until this moment. The moment when he was the subject of such rumors. He wondered what was going on. Why was he the center of attention? His stomach lurched over the thought that he would be given a task to complete. He didn't want to have to hurt someone again. The last time he had thrown up on the floor and been tortured himself for it, told that he needed to build up an enjoyment for torturing others or he would be punished.

Now, he shook with fear as the Dark Lord sat at the head of the table. Draco tried to tune out the words of excitement exchanged over the previous revel. He was glad that he had not yet been forced to participate in one, as even the description of what occurred made him nauseous. They talked with evil grins about the accomplishment of leaving behind no witnesses, chuckled over stories of how their victims begged, or how long they got them to scream before falling unconscious. It sickened Draco to know that he was associated with these people and that one day he was likely going to be asked to go along on a revel. Hopefully, that day wouldn't be today, but with everyone watching him, that hope was fading.

"And now, we come to our largest problem this evening," the Dark Lord announced. "It seems that young Draco here has a bit of a crush." There was a sneering laughter around him. "It appears as if he has developed a crush . . . on a mudblood."

How did they know about his feelings for Hermione? He looked over at Mr. Goyle. Had his 'friend' really told his father about his suspicions of Draco's attraction? Apparently he had let it slip and of course his father would rat him out to the Dark Lord.

"How shall we deal with this . . . problem?" the Dark Lord asked his followers.

"Punish him my lord! Teach him a lesson as to what his views are," someone cruelly suggested.

Draco gulped. This was not going to be good.

"Make him kill her! That would be the ultimate lesson and she could be his first murder!" His aunt suggested.

"Ah, I am interested in your proposition," the Dark Lord agreed.

This could not be happening. He could not be forced to kill Hermione; he couldn't do it!

There were other awful suggestions made but when the Dark Lord held up his hand, the room went silent.

"Draco," he said. "You have been such a disappointment. But, I will give you a chance to redeem yourself. Kill the girl by two weeks from today, and your little crush will be forgiven. Do not follow in your father's footsteps and disappoint me again. And know, if you do not kill the mudblood, someone else will."

"Yes, my lord," he managed. "Thank you."

He couldn't let this happen! He couldn't let Hermione die because of him! Draco needed to figure out a plan. In the next two weeks, he had to find a way to save Hermione.

He tried to block all thoughts of Hermione out of his mind. He could not be thinking about saving her in the event of the Dark Lord using legilimency against him. He would have to practice occlumency, master the skill well enough to stand up against the Dark Lord's probing. But for now, Draco couldn't allow any thought of Hermione to be seen by the terrifying man. It would be the end of them both.

1997 – March 8

Draco stood by the stove, cooking dinner the muggle way, mind wandering and analyzing everything that had happened in the past 24 hours.

Hermione had gotten him so flustered. Somehow she had figured out his deception, everything he had been attempting to hide from her, and forced it out into the open. She was right though; she did deserve an explanation. A true explanation, one he didn't want to have to tell her. Sometimes, Draco found it difficult to use his words, a challenge to admit the expanse of emotions he was feeling, terrified of what could result from their exposure.

He had kissed her.

Draco couldn't believe he would do something so impulsive! Their arguing had brought them so close together, and he just couldn't get the words out of his mouth, so his body seemed to take over apart from his brain. It seemed as though he was always able to hide his emotions, to be in control of his actions, except when it came to Hermione. It was as if every time he even looked at that frizzy haired beauty, his brain simply shut down and melted.

His kiss had been short, light, and unsure. He didn't want to scare her or force himself upon her, so he had held back, their lips barely brushing. As soon as he had done it, he thought he had made a horrible mistake. He had crossed a line and might never be able to step back across to the other side. What if she really didn't want that from him? He thought that he had just ruined the new friendship they had so recently built. But he was wrong.

When Hermione leaned over to kiss him again, it was as if he was in some sort of dream. Her kiss was tender and passionate, her fingers in his hair, her body pressed against his, it made him feel so alive. He had no idea that she could possibly have feelings for him as well. It felt amazing to have her in his arms after all this time of staying away from her.

Draco thought about this. Was he doing the right thing? Was having a date with Hermione a good idea? Was the possibility of a relationship with her going to hurt her more than benefit? Draco knew that she deserved much better than him. He could never give her anything but pain and misery. He was a Death Eater, even if he hadn't had any choice in the matter. He was still marked and would always be treated as a follower of the Dark Lord. Would Hermione be shunned by her friends and family? When he probably was either killed or sent to Askaban, would he break her heart? The answer to all of these questions were most likely yes.

Maybe they could still have one nice night together and he could bring these questions up later. But would she really care about those things? Hermione was known for her self sacrificing behavior. Was he the only one who could protect her from himself? Draco didn't know what to do.

He was in the middle of preparing for the date. Should he call it off? He didn't want to disappoint her either. One night. Maybe he could give them one night. Draco was busy rushing around the kitchen preparing a nice dinner for the two of them to share. Hermione was in her room, reading. He wanted it to be sort of a surprise for her when she came out, he wanted to be able to "pick her up" from her room like he would have for a date if they weren't in this mess, he wanted their first date to be more real than dinner at the same table they had eaten at for the past month.

As the dinner cooked, he went through the storage closet and brought out two tall candles and some sort of machine he was told could play music. He had bought it for Hermione, thinking she might like it. She would have to be the one to get it to play as he had absolutely no idea how the thing worked. He brought out with it some sort of designed plastic square things that were somehow needed to play the music. Hopefully Hermione would know what those were as well and didn't make him feel like a complete idiot.

As his first, and possibly last date with Hermione, Draco wanted it to be perfect. Keeping the dinner in their pots for a few more minutes he left to get changed into the nicest robes he had at the cabin before going back out to put the food on the table. He lit the candles with a flick of his wand and dimmed the lights.

With a deep breath, Draco turned and walked down the hallway toward Hermione's room, knocking on the door.

Why was he so nervous? His stomach felt like an acrobat flipping around inside of him and his hand was shaking slightly. He was finally getting the date that he had dreamed about for so long and he didn't want to mess it up.

The door opened and Hermione stood in front of him wearing the pastel blue dress robes he had bought for her in the very slim possibility of something like this happening. She had tamed her hair and put it up, allowing every inch of her gorgeous face to be seen.

"You look beautiful," he told her softly, offering his hand to her.

She took his hand, smiling rather awkwardly, as if she didn't get complimented often."You look rather handsome yourself," she replied.

Draco lead her into the kitchen and played the gentleman, pulling out her chair for her. She giggled quietly and he loved the sound, glad that he could at least make her smile.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I got this music machine thing and I have no idea how to get it to work," he told her, gesturing towards the counter.

"Bring it here," she said, a smile still plastered on her face.

He did as she told him and gave her the machine as well as the strange plastic squares. Hermione expertly popped the top part of the machine open and then picked up one of the plastic squares after looking at the decorations on the front of each on them. To Draco's surprise, she opened the plastic part and took out a shiny, flat, circular disk, putting it into the machine and closing the top before waving her wand over it. They had said something about the electric so maybe that was why she needed magic to get it to play.

Draco almost jumped when Hermione pressed one of the buttons on the machine and music actually came out of it. So it did work. A soft melody played on the piano filled the air and set a nice atmosphere. Draco hadn't been sure what she would like considering he knew nothing about muggle music, so he played it safe with the instrumental piano.

Hermione passed it back to him.

"Put it back on the counter," she told him. Draco just nodded and took it back. "Why do you have a stereo and CDs?" she asked.

Oh, so that was what the machine was called. He just shrugged.

Hermione smiled at his response. "You got it for me didn't you."

"Maybe," Draco replied, sitting down at the table.

A minute or two after they started eating, Hermione spoke again. "So, tell me. Who is the real Draco Malfoy?" she asked.

"The real Draco Malfoy? You mean the one other than the cruel bully and Death Eater?" he questioned back, putting another bite of food into his mouth.

"I mean the one who hides himself from the rest of the world," she clarified.

"What do you want to know?" he asked. It was a terrifyingly vulnerable question to ask, but he really did want her to know that he wasn't the boy who called her horrible names and beat her down at every chance he got.

"I don't know. What class do you like best in school? Do you like to drink pumpkin juice with breakfast? Who is your best friend? What sorts of things do you do just to relax?" she spouted.

"Whoa there! Let me answer first," he told her playfully. "My favorite class is potions, yes I like to drink pumpkin juice with breakfast. The other two, well, I don't really have anyone I would consider a friend. Just getting away from everyone was relaxing, but I always find solace in a good book." There was so much more he wanted to tell her, but knew he couldn't. Not right now anyway. He wanted to tell her that every moment of every day had been full of stress because he couldn't get her out of his head and that was a terrifying thought considering who he surrounded himself with and who they enjoyed bullying. Draco wanted to say that he only found some sort of relief when he had finally accepted his feelings but could never let her know, only to watch from afar, that his once terrifying thoughts became the one thing that kept him sane the year that the Dark Lord had returned.

"What do you mean you don't have any friends?" she asked.

Draco sighed. "I hung around with people of course, but while they were raging about how all the mudbloods should be put to death, I was questioning if muggle-borns were really any different from us other than the way we were brought up. I was terrified to share my thoughts with anyone." Hermione mumbled something Draco couldn't quite here. "What was that?" he asked.

"Oh, it's nothing. You don't want to hear it," she said, shaking her head and looking down at her plate.

"No, I want to hear," he replied genuinely. He didn't want to miss a word that she was saying to him. Every pleasant word from her mouth addressed to him was something he had long wished for.

"I just said that you and Harry could have been friends. Of course not Ron as he probably grew up being told to stay away from the Malfoys. No offense." She paused. "Harry wouldn't have really known what the name was connected with. You could have gotten along well and Harry is pretty good about hearing out opinions." She was rambling and he knew she felt awkward for bringing it up.

There was no way he and Potter could have ever been friends! Draco would have laughed if Hermione didn't look so sad. He guessed thinking about them like that brought to the surface how much she missed them. Draco wanted to know what that was like, to miss someone when they weren't around.

"What about you? What was it like coming to a wizard school when you had grown up a muggle?" he asked.

"It was amazing actually. I had no idea what to expect at first but I soon read every book I could get my hands on before I even came for first year." She looked down, smiling, a bit embarrassed. "I met Harry and Ron on the train on that first trip and it was the start of a friendship I really hadn't had before. Sure, I had friends in my muggle school, but no one understood me, and everyone, even my friends teased me about being strange. I loved learning that first year and soaked up every bit of information I could." Hermione chuckled a bit. "I understand I was a bit annoying for some professors, and some other students, but I just wanted to catch up on all the amazing things I had been missing out on."

Again, Draco felt the pang of guilt that came with the remembrance of the nickname know-it-all. All the negative thoughts about how she was constantly bragging about her brilliant mind were completely wrong. She hadn't just been a nerdy know-it-all, she had been a little girl exploring a new world for the first time and school had been the only way she'd known how.

Draco turned his attention toward his plate, pushing the final morsels of food around with his fork. Every time she talked about her experiences at Hogwarts, it reminded him of how terrible he had acted concerning her. It made him feel awful about everything he and the kids he hung around had put her through. He wished he could have seen the light sooner. If only he hadn't been so brainwashed.

"What are you thinking about?" Hermione asked.

He took a deep breath, contemplating what he could tell her. "Just how I wish that I could have started questioning the prejudice shite I was taught earlier. Then I could have been the one to show you the wonders of magic." Draco hadn't really meant to say that last part. Where the hell had his filter gone? It was like he had been holding all this in for so long that once it started to get out, he couldn't stop his mouth from spouting it.

Trying to act as if he hadn't just told her that, Draco cleared the now empty plates over to the counter and grabbed the dessert he had prepared, heading over to the fireplace where he had set up a fluffy blanket.

Hermione followed him.

"When did you start questioning your prejudices?" she asked, sitting down beside him.

Why did she always ask questions that he couldn't answer? He wanted to tell her the truth, that he had known something wasn't right about the prejudices he had been taught long ago, perhaps the day that she had hit him across the face. That feeling of something not being right grew into a deeper questioning, all stemming from the Yule ball. That was the first time he had truly been able to see Hermione as a girl, not a bookworm, not an annoying nuisance, but a girl, who was more beautiful than any of his previous girlfriends without even seeming to try. Draco knew if he told her this it would scare her. It would scare him if he found out someone had been watching him for years, secretly admiring him from a far. He didn't want to frighten her.

Draco shrugged. "It was a gradual thing," he said. The way Hermione looked at him made him think that she knew he wasn't telling her everything, but she wasn't going to push it.

She sighed. "Maybe one day you'll tell me."

One day. What did that mean? Draco questioned what her intentions were. Did that mean she thought this should happen again? No, she shouldn't mean that. He was nowhere close to being good enough for her.

All the thoughts that had come up while cooking dinner earlier flooded back into his mind. Hermione would get hurt. That was all that could come out of this. Draco couldn't let that happen. He had worked so hard to protect her and wasn't about to do something to hurt her like this now. It didn't matter that he wanted to be with her so badly even his bones ached with longing. It didn't matter that he had been waiting years for the moment when she would have any feelings for him other than hate. It didn't matter that he was finally getting his chance with Hermione Granger and was going to completely destroy it. Draco knew he couldn't let her do this to herself.

"We shouldn't do this again," he said decisively, standing up. Draco hated the look of hurt that flashed in Hermione's expression.

"I don't understand," she said quietly. "I thought we were having a nice time."

"Well, maybe you don't know everything." He immediately cringed at his words. He knew what it sounded like. It sounded like he hated the time he had just spent with her. It sounded as though each minute were forced and torturous.

He sighed, watching as she turned her face away toward the fire so he wouldn't see the embarrassment and pain he had just caused.

"I'm not who you are supposed to be with. You deserve better," he finally told her.

"That's ridiculous," she replied.

"No, it really isn't. You will get out of here, won't be forced to stay with me all the time, you'll move on. You'll find someone who will tell you the things that I won't, who will be able to take care of you like I can't, someone who can make your life better rather than dragging you down. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have suggested this." Draco turned to go back to the kitchen and start cleaning up.

"Wait!" Hermione called. "Draco. You're not going to even let us try? Because you have such low self esteem you are just going to toss away every good thing that ever comes to you?"

Draco sighed and stood still. Didn't she understand that there was no hope for them? That the only thing that was going to come out of this was heartbreak? Didn't she see that he was going to be gone and she was going to have to deal with the judgment of everyone from her side of this war? Draco cared about her too much to be the cause of her pain any more than he already was.

"It's not a self-esteem issue," he said darkly, without turning around. He flinched when a hand touched his shoulder and whipped his head around.

"Then what is it?" she asked.

"No good will come from this," he growled. "Any involvement with me will just make your life hell! Why don't you stay in your room and I can stay in mine? We'll make schedules for the other things-"

"Shut up!" she demanded, raising her voice. "Stop overreacting, stop thinking so much! It isn't your decision anyway, unless you don't like me. If you are talking about me being a victim here, I will not have it! It is my life and it is my choice." Hermione paused and dropped her voice again. "Let's just calm down. There is no need to do something so stupid, awkward and unnecessary like avoid each other when we are confined to the same house, so let's just take a deep breath here. We are here together anyway and I am not going to go out of my way to avoid you. Let me make this very clear. I want to try this. I want to try this. Now, if you truly don't, then that is another matter. But I was having a nice time and I still don't quite understand why you had to go and ruin it."

Hermione was right. It was her life and this was her choice. She was a strong, independent girl, she could have said no to all of this if she had wanted. A warm feeling filled him. She really wanted to try this with him. A part of himself was angry that he was trying to push her away like that. This girl, whom he had dreamed of being with for years, was actually wanting to be with him and he was trying to stop her. Was he insane? Draco just wanted what was best for her and he knew he wasn't it. But it wasn't his choice.

Draco took a breath. He really had ruined the night, hadn't he? He didn't know what to say to fix this. He looked into Hermione's questioning brown eyes, still containing a hint of hurt within them. Did she really think that he was going back on this date because he found he didn't really like her? That was ridiculous.

Draco knew he had messed up. Tomorrow. If they were still trapped in that cabin together, they could have another chance if she wanted to as well.

"I . . . I'm sorry." How many times would he have to apologize to her? Draco kept doing things that caused her pain, even when he didn't have to play the role of the bully. But seeing her standing in front of him, firm in her beliefs, confident in her decision, he couldn't lie to her. He couldn't make her believe he didn't want this. It isn't my choice what she puts her heart into, Draco reminded himself. If she wanted this to happen, he would let her, let her risk her heart, let her risk her friends and her life. As much as he wanted to believe he had the power to change her mind, this was Hermione Granger.

"I really did mess this up. I . . . I really do want to try this. I know that it will end badly but . . . you're right. It isn't my decision to make. Can we . . . can we start over and try again?" he asked. A small smile appeared on Hermione's face. "Tomorrow, maybe?"

"Alright," she agreed.

Author's Note:

Hey guys! I am so sorry I didn't update last week, things got pretty crazy! I went on vacation for a few days and my flight back ended up getting delayed for an entire day and when I got back I had so much work to do, I still ended up pulling an all nighter this week finishing a paper. I also only had an hour or so to edit this one so I hope it is alright. I really wanted to get this up for you so I decided I would post it even without very much editing.

A huge thanks to Sachiko Heiwajima, bennettfan84, SereniteRose, Amelina5, and pandabear1415 for your reviews!

I am going to need some more encouragement this week as I have two more papers, a midterm, and a quiz all this week and have barely started any of it! Please review and I will try as hard as I can to get another chapter up next Sunday. Your reviews really do motivate me and to be honest, this week again your reviews helped me to get this chapter up for you guys.

Thanks for reading, following/favoriting, and reviewing! Have an awesome week!