Lost
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story. I need to make an apology guys. I know some of you are frustrated that I seem to be bouncing from one story to the next. I'm sorry for that. My muse isn't co-operating with me and when an idea nags at me I just have to write it down or it is lost forever. I can only ask you to be patient with me; I promise I haven't abandoned the other unfinished stories. They will be completed; it just might take a little longer than normal.
Thanks,
Nikki
Chapter Two
"She never called me back." Charlie couldn't hide his frustration as he paced back and forth in front of Billy. "I don't know what to do."
"So, she said she was in Alaska." Billy mused, frowning. He wondered why the Cullen family had relocated there. It wasn't a place he could imagine them choosing. But then again they were vampires, what did he know. They might act civilised but underneath they were still blood drinkers. He was thankful that Jacob wasn't at home. The last thing his son needed was to hear about Bella. "You'll just have to be patient, Chief. I am sure she will call again."
"That is not an option." Charlie put his hands on his hips. "I'm going to head down there and see if I can find her."
"It will be like looking for a needle in a haystack." Billy tried to make his friend see reason. "Just wait. I am sure she will be in touch soon."
"No, you didn't hear her. Bella was desperate, Billy. She was pleading to come home. I thought she was attending college all this time, and maybe too busy studying to come and visit her old man. But that was a lie. She's in Alaska." He shook his head in disbelief. "Why there?"
"I don't know." Billy wished there was some way he could help his friend. He hated seeing Charlie so upset, especially since he knew what Bella had intended to happen all along. It was heart breaking, but it hadn't been without considerable effort on all their parts to get Bella to change her mind. But she had remained stubbornly devoted to her bloodsucker, not even Jacob risking his own heart had made any difference. "There is nothing you can do, Chief. I expect she may have had a silly row with her new husband. You know what it's like being a newlywed, you're still trying to find your feet and get used to each other's little quirks." Billy tried to make light of the situation to make his friend feel better, but deep down he was angry at Bella for doing this to Charlie in the first place. Would her selfishness never end?
"You didn't hear her, Billy. Something is really wrong I can tell." Charlie began to pace again. "I've tried her old cell number but that was disconnected and I couldn't trace the number of the phone she used to call me."
Billy didn't know what else to say to comfort his oldest friend. Bella had chosen her fate and now she had to live with the consequences. She couldn't expect her father to bail her out. Billy wondered what had really happened to prompt this desperate phone call to her father. Whatever it was it couldn't be good. He was determined about one thing; he didn't want his son to hear about it. Bella Swan was out of his son's life for good and Billy wanted it to remain that way.
Bella woke up caked in a cold sweat. She sat upright pushing her damp hair out of her face. Her thin pyjama's clung to her skin. She shivered, feeling disorientated.
"Morning, my love." The heavy drapes were suddenly swept back and the room was bathed with bright light. Edward strode over to the four poster bed in one graceful movement, perching on the edge beside her. His cold fingers caressed her cheek. "You've been asleep for hours. Do you feel better?" He ducked his head down and peered into her face.
"I…I need a shower." Bella pushed his hand away. His touch was only adding to her chills. She saw his smile fade as she rejected his advances. She was too worn out to deal with his dejection. She climbed off the bed and stumbled toward the bathroom. As usual Edward was one step behind her. Bella turned, nearly colliding with his hard body. "I said I'm taking a shower."
"I was just making sure you didn't trip." Edward said, aggrieved. "I'm just trying to keep you safe."
Bella clamped her mouth shut as she forced herself to swallow her irritation. He had such a fragile ego. It was exhausting keeping him happy all the time. How had she managed to do it before? "I'll be out soon." She mumbled as she shut the door in his face. She leaned against it, her eyes closing in despair.
"I'll make you some breakfast then." Edward said through the closed door. "I love you, Bella." A moment passed as Bella failed to respond. "I said I love you, darling." He knocked lightly on the door.
Bella gritted her teeth. He wasn't going to go until she said it back to him. "I love you, too." She replied with difficulty.
"That's my Bella." Edward was placated now. He left humming to himself as he headed to the kitchen.
Bella stayed in the shower for a long time. She leaned against the shower wall, her eyes closed as the warm rivulets of water ran down her body. It washed away the sweat. She soaped herself down, trying to ignore the translucency of her skin tone. She missed its former creaminess. Tears began to leak out of her eyes, it mixed with the water as it dripped down her cheeks. Eventually she was forced to get out as the water turned cold. The sudden change in temperature was just another reminder of the life she had chosen.
"I have made you cereal, toast or a cooked breakfast." Edward said with false cheer as he presented the three choices to her with a flourish.
Bella wrinkled her nose. They all smelt bad, each and every one of them. She felt nausea well in her throat. She wasn't hungry. "I don't feel like eating right now." She pushed herself away from the kitchen counter.
"Darling, you have to eat. Your body isn't getting enough nutrients." Edward replied anxiously. He gripped her around the waist and steered her toward the bar stool. "Come on, I am sure one of these will be to your liking." He smiled charmingly at her. "I did go to a lot of trouble to make this for you."
Was he trying to make her feel guilty? Bella hid her scowl as she turned away from him and stared at the food. Her throat tightened at the thought of eating any of it. She pushed the cooked breakfast away. The smell of bacon and fried egg was only adding to her misery. She decided to stick with the toast. "What is this white stuff sprinkled all over everything?" She asked, puzzled.
"Vitamin powder." Edward replied easily. "Carlisle suggested it. You won't taste it I promise. Because you are not eating a balanced diet he thought it would be a good idea."
Bella rubbed her forehead as she picked up a slice of toast. She held it in front of her mouth, trying to summon up the will to eat it. She bit into it but it tasted like ashes in her mouth. She gagged. Edward quickly passed her some water. The same white powder was floating in that too. Bella coughed, staring at it suspiciously. "I don't want it."
"Bella, you have to…"
"I said I don't want it." Bella pushed the glass away with surprising strength. It flew across the room and shattered on the tiled floor. Her cheeks flushed as she saw Edward's face fall. "I need a shower." She slipped off of the stool.
"Bella, you've just had one." Edward reminded her. His expression was troubled.
"Well I need another one." Bella retreated from the kitchen, doing her best to hold herself together.
"Rosalie." Bella called out softly. She had descended down to the underground garage. Rows of expensive cars blocked her path. Bella wound her way through them as she hunted for the statuesque blonde. But she didn't find her. There was no sign. Frustrated Bella retraced her steps. On her way out she came across Jasper who was heading toward the garage. As soon as he saw her he flew to the other end of the hallway. His eyes became dark and he literally held his breath in a vain attempt not to smell her.
"I'm sorry, Bella. Your smell….it's particularly intoxicating today." Jasper drawled painfully. "You need to move on."
Bella swallowed thickly. Jasper always had limited control. It was rare these days that they encountered each other. He preferred to stay out of her way in order not to be put to the test. "Have you seen, Rose?" She dared to ask him.
"Rosalie and Emmet left late last night. There was some kind of altercation between Rosalie and Edward so Carlisle suggested they leave for a while to give each other some space." Jasper pressed his back against the wall. "You need to move on, Bella." His voice was strained.
Bella quickly did as he asked. She hurried in the opposite direction, her heart hammering in her chest. She felt suddenly bereft. This had to do with the phone Rosalie had given her. Carlisle had banished the blonde for going behind his back and allowing her communication with the outside world. She wasn't allowed to be around any human in case her immune system was compromised. As Carlisle kept saying she was too delicate and fragile right now. Her position was precarious. Bella's stomach churned as she ran for the bathroom. She only just made it as she threw up in the sink.
Charlie left Billy's still in an agitated state. He didn't know what course of action to take next. He knew his friend was right. Searching for his daughter in Alaska would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. He needed more to go on. He felt so frustrated and helpless. He would have to wait for her to call again. As he strode to his cruiser he passed the Black's garage. He noticed light streaming out from under the closed doors. Jacob must be inside. Charlie paused, toying with the idea whether to ask Billy's son whether he had heard from Bella. It was unlikely. Even though Jacob had been a close friend of Bella's, Charlie knew that they had parted on less then friendly terms. Bella had rejected Jacob and the boy was still nursing a broken heart. He hadn't seen Jacob much lately; he tended to avoid the house when Charlie visited. Charlie couldn't blame him. He supposed looking at his face stirred up feelings he would rather forget.
But Charlie was desperate. If Jacob had talked to Bella, then he could provide a clue to her whereabouts. It was a long shot but Charlie felt like he had no choice but to try. He marched over to the garage and opened one of the doors. Music blared out from a small radio stacked on an upturned crate. There was a pile of old tires heaped up in one corner and the concrete floor was littered with engine parts. In the furthest corner Charlie found Jacob. The kid had his back to him, minus a shirt as always. He really wasn't a kid anymore. The boy was eighteen and big with it. His muscles bunched as he leaned over the hood of an old Camaro he was working on. As he heard Charlie approach he stiffened, before turning around slowly and facing the older man. Charlie always got a shock every time he encountered Jacob these days. The friendly, open demeanour he was so used to seeing was long gone. Jacob's handsome face was always serious these days. He obviously hadn't shaved in a while. His hair, which he used to keep closely cropped to his head, had grown out. The black strands were unkempt and fell almost to his shoulders.
"Hey, Charlie." Jacob greeted him warily. He grabbed an oily rag and began to clean his fingers.
"Hey, kid. Long time, no see." Charlie replied with a tired smile. "What have you been up to?"
"Same old." Jacob shrugged nonchalantly. "What can I do for you?"
Charlie scratched his chin, feeling suddenly awkward and a bit guilty. This was a bad idea. But it was too late to back out now and he was desperate for information about his daughter's location. "Um…this is kinda difficult for me to ask, son."
"Best just to be blunt." Jacob advised.
God, he sounded like his old man. Charlie sighed heavily. It was now or never. "I'm sorry to ask you this but I need to know whether you've heard from Bella?"
The change in Jacob was instantaneous. Charlie watched as his eyes became bleak. Jacob turned away, his body tense, breathing ragged. "No, I haven't. I'm the last person she would contact." He ground out.
Charlie felt a fool for asking. He should have left well alone. All he had done was dredge up painful memories for the boy. "I'm sorry, Jake. It was a long shot. I shouldn't have asked." He got ready to leave.
"Why did you?" Jacob said suddenly. "Ask I mean?"
Charlie halted mid stride as he glanced over his shoulder at Billy's son. He didn't want to involve Jacob further. He had done enough damage. "It was nothing kid, just an old man missing his daughter." He shrugged hopelessly before resuming his way out of the garage.
It was lunchtime. Bella sat on the bar stool and stared at small salad that Edward had made for her. It looked tasteless and unappetising. He sat across from her, his chin propped on his hands as he leaned on the countertop. He was studying her carefully, taking note of each change in expression, each breath that she took. Bella felt like she was under a microscope.
"I'm not hungry."
Edward watched as she pushed the plate away from her. "You have to eat."
"I can't eat that." Bella wrinkled her nose in disgust. The salad leaves smelt vile.
"I'll make you something else." Edward suggested desperately. "You name it I'll make it."
Bella tried to rein in her irritation. She felt so tired. "I want to visit my dad."
Edward sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. This was an indicator that he was getting very annoyed with her. "We've had this conversation."
"I want to see him." Bella persisted as she began to get upset. Her hands curled into fists.
"You are not who you once were, my darling." Edward hurried to embrace his wife. He gently kissed the top of her luxuriant brown hair, inhaling her sweet scent as he did so. One cold hand slid down her back, tracing the curve of her spine as she leaned against his hard body. "I know this is hard for you. But you knew this would happen, that you would have to say goodbye to those you once cared for, including your family." He pressed his lips to her temple before grazing them down the side of her face until he reached her lips. He could feel her heart racing. It was beating too fast. It was like a tiny bird fluttering in a cage, desperate to escape to the outside world. "Let me love you, Bella." Edward became intoxicated by her. His mouth found hers and he began to kiss her, his fingers pressing into the small of her back.
Bella thrust Edward from her. He reeled away from her in shock. Her eyes were wide, breathing ragged. Her momentary show of strength was already costing her. "I am me. My heart still beats. I have blood running through my veins. I have a soul." She cried. "I want to go home, Edward. I want to go home."
"It's okay, my darling." Edward crooned once he had recovered his poise. Bella's eyelids were already drooping. He gathered her into his arms before she hit the floor in a dead faint. His face was determined as he carried her out of the kitchen and toward Carlisle's study. "I'll make this go away, Bella." He vowed quietly. "I'll make it go away."
It was hours later when Bella woke up. Her head felt heavy as if she was drunk. She had to force herself to sit up, her whole body ached. Again she was caked in a cold sweat. Perspiration beaded on her skin. She found Edward sitting beside her on their bed, his face a picture of misery.
"How are you feeling, my love?" He asked automatically.
"Awful." Bella coughed. Her throat felt so dry.
Edward handed her a glass of water. It was cloudy and there were remnants of the white powder floating on top. "It's only vitamins, Bella." Edward reminded her as he noticed her dubious expression. He sounded a little frustrated.
Bella was so thirsty that she caved in and drank the water. She chugged the cold liquid down quickly. Edward seemed happier now that she had taken a drink. "Do you feel calmer now, darling?" He enquired with a charming smile.
"A bit I guess." Bella admitted. In truth she felt woozy. "I need a shower." She mumbled as she clambered off the bed. As always Edward was hot on her heels. As she reached the en-suite she gave an exasperated sigh. "I said I'm having a shower, alone." She stated pointedly before shutting the door in his face.
They were talking about her, all four of them. Bella stood on top of the spiral staircase wrapped in a white fluffy robe. As soon as they detected her they stopped talking. Esme smiled in greeting as she floated gracefully up the stairs to meet Bella. Carlisle patted Edward on the shoulder in a fatherly fashion before he settled down on one of the expensive leather sofas. Edward waited at the bottom of the stairs for his wife to descend while Alice stood by his side. Jasper was nowhere to be seen. Bella had no choice but to accompany Esme down the stairs.
"Edward has written a new composition for you." Esme whispered to Bella in delight. She looked so proud of her adopted son. "He is going to play it for us after you've eaten some dinner. I made some pasta for you."
"I'm not really very hungry." Bella admitted.
"Come now." Esme scolded her like a mother hen. "A little bit of pasta won't hurt. You need to eat, Bella."
"She's right you know, love." Edward held out his arm for Bella to take so he could escort her to the kitchen.
Feeling hemmed in Bella followed Edward into the kitchen. The others stayed in the open plan lounge. Edward guided her to the bar stool and placed the bowl of pasta in front of her. Like everything else that the Cullens concocted it looked dry and tasteless. "Maybe I could eat better if you played that new composition for me." Bella encouraged Edward. She'd try anything to get him out of the kitchen so she could breathe.
A joyous smile lit up Edward's Adonis like features. He kissed Bella softly on the cheek before hurrying into the open plan lounge to settle himself at the grand piano. After flexing his fingers he began to play. Bella felt a rush of relief flow through her. The others were entranced with Edward's talent. They stood in a group around the piano making admiring noises and bolstering the golden boy's ego. At least for once she wasn't being closely monitored. Bella shoved the pasta in the trash can and began to hunt around for something else to eat. She found a packet of dry biscuits, they weren't very appetising but at least they weren't covered in the white powder. She crammed them into her mouth, one after the other. In the other room she heard the sound of applause. Esme was begging Edward to play something else. He obligingly complied.
Bella poured herself a glass of sparkling water from the tap and drank greedily. At least her thirst and hunger had been sated but her unhappiness still consumed her. She so badly wanted to go home. She wished Edward hadn't found Rosalie's phone. Now she had no contact….Bella couldn't believe her eyes. A small silver cell seemed to appear out of nowhere. It stood gleaming on the white countertop. That hadn't been there before. She would have spotted it right away. Bella glanced into the lounge. Edward was still playing, his eyes closed as he became immersed in the music. His family were still gathered around him. The only one who was missing of course was….
"Jasper." Bella said under her breath, incredulous. Whether it was him or not she didn't care she now had access to the outside world, but this time she was going to make damn sure that Edward or any of the others didn't find it.
"Charlie asked me about Bella." Jacob revealed as he made himself some sandwiches. He had his back to his father as Billy was sitting at the kitchen table, carving.
Billy felt drained. He should have anticipated this. He tried to sound nonchalant. "He's just missing his daughter, that's all." He continued to scrape at the wood in his hand with his tools.
"That's what he said." Jacob continued suspiciously as he studied his father's profile carefully. "But it's odd that he should mention her now, especially after all this time."
Billy's knife slipped on the wood. He cussed under his breath. He avoided his sons penetrating gaze. "Shouldn't you be getting washed up? Aren't you picking Charlotte up at eight?" He asked, changing the subject.
"I was thinking of bailing." Jacob said moodily. He chewed his sandwich slowly.
"Oh, come on. She's a nice girl." Billy chided him gently. "Have a shave and freshen up. It'll do you good." He smiled encouragingly even though he felt far from that inside.
"Is there something you're not telling me?" Jacob persisted darkly.
"No." Billy replied irritably. "There's nothing."
Bella turned the shower on full as well as the taps. They made quite a bit of noise. Edward was still downstairs with his family. Or at least she hoped so. She hunkered down in the corner of the bathroom and flipped open the silver cell. With shaking fingers she dialled her dad's home number. Charlie picked it up on the first ring.
"Bells?"
Tears welled in Bella's eyes at the sound of his voice. He sounded so concerned. "Dad, I'm…"
There was a gentle knock on the door. Bella flipped the cell shut and shoved it under a loose tile in the bathroom floor. "I'm in the shower." She called out.
"I have a nightcap for you, darling." Edward said through the closed door. "Don't be long."
"I won't." Bella promised through gritted teeth. Her window of opportunity to talk to Charlie had gone for the night but she still held onto hope that one day soon she would be able to try again.
A/N-thanks for reading!