Lost
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews!
Chapter Three
Bella didn't have a chance to call Charlie again. Edward was with her constantly from morning until night. His attentions were becoming increasingly suffocating. The only freedom she had was when she took a shower, but as he remained in the next room she couldn't risk being overheard talking to Charlie on the phone. It was very frustrating and the waiting game was beginning to take its toll on Bella's already frazzled nerves. She was still struggling to eat. All kinds of food tasted like ashes in her mouth. It was awful. Edward would sit across from her scrutinising her every expression, taking note of every bite she made. Swallowing the damn food made her feel sick, but it was worth forcing the disgusting food down just to avoid another lecture from him.
It was late morning again. Bella had slept in as usual. She was always feeling overtired these days and lacked energy. She couldn't tell if it was from sheer boredom or her condition. It was probably both. She was in the kitchen with Esme. Carlisle's mate was making Bella some lunch. Bella didn't know why she was never allowed to make her own, but for some reason Carlisle had forbade her to exert herself. It had to do with another symptom of the mysterious malady that plagued her. Today she had insisted she would at least like to help Esme prepare the meal. It had been a hard won fight. Edward had finally relented after checking with Carlisle on the phone.
"Please, just don't over exert yourself, my love." He had begged her.
At least helping Esme meant she was away from Edward's stifling presence. He had retreated to the piano so he could play her lullaby for her while they cooked. Bella worked alongside Esme in silence for a few moments before she was convinced that Edward had become lost in his music. Once she was satisfied that he wasn't focusing his attention on her, Bella began to talk to Esme. She had always liked Carlisle's gentle mate, albeit the fact that Esme seemed so pliable. She adored Carlisle and was completely devoted to him as she was to all the family.
"Do you ever regret Carlisle changing you?" Bella dared to ask.
Esme appeared startled by this question. Her caramel coloured hair fell in fine waves around her lovely face. Esme always reminded Bella of a thirties film star with her soft curves and genteel manner. "I have never really thought about it."
"But if you had been given the choice?" Bella persisted.
"Well that point is moot, surely." Esme smiled serenely. "Carlisle wasn't able to alert me to what was happening. I was on the verge of death and unconscious at the time. He had to act quickly. It's different in your case of course. You were lucky enough to find your love." Esme touched Bella's cheek with gentle fingers. "Edward adores you so much, Bella. I thank my lucky stars that he found you. He had been alone for far too long."
Bella felt frustrated. This wasn't what she wanted to hear. Esme was avoiding the heart of the issue. "But you didn't choose this life. Just like Rosalie didn't. Or Edward. Carlisle made that decision without your consent."
Esme stopped what she was doing and gazed at Bella, perplexed. "The transition period is always difficult, Bella. Some of us struggled more than others. Rosalie and Edward in particular I suppose." Her expression softened again. "I know things have been extra difficult in your case but Carlisle is close to a cure. Once he returns from his medical conference I am sure he will have good news for you." She patted Bella's cheek before she resumed what she was doing.
Bella gave up. She wasn't going to get anything out of Esme. She was too close minded about the family she had built with Carlisle. She rarely questioned anything. Carlisle was like a god in her eyes and Edward wasn't too far behind. The piano playing had stopped. Bella noticed Edward hovering in the kitchen doorway. She wondered how much he had overheard. His expression was inscrutable.
"Lunch is nearly ready." Esme declared with a bright smile.
Bella felt her stomach churn at the thought of another hour spent with Edward watching every mouthful she ingested. A cold sweat broke out on her skin. Perspiration beaded on her forehead. She knew she was going to collapse. Before she went under she heard Edward call her name.
Jacob frowned as he pulled his cell out of his pocket. An unknown number flashed up. Who the hell could that be? He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Last night's date with Charlotte hadn't gone well. She had been pushing for him to meet her family. That was too much of a commitment for Jacob. He had been forced to end it. Charlotte hadn't taken the news well and caused quite a scene. She had sobbed all over him, begging for him to tell her what she had done wrong. He felt like a piece of shit. What the hell was he supposed to say? He mumbled the usual excuse that it was not you it's me; this seemed to upset her further. Jacob winced at the memory. Perhaps it was her father calling to tear a strip off of him. He aborted the call and it went straight to voice mail.
But seconds later the fucking phone rang again. He glared at it. Whoever was calling was desperate to speak to him. He aborted the call again and waited. Once again it immediately began to ring. Jacob's jaw flexed as he switched the darn thing off. But then the landline in the house began to ring. Whoever was calling was taking the piss. He heard the squeak of the tires on Billy's wheelchair against the hardwood floor as his father went to answer the call. It was too late now. He could always climb out of his bedroom window and escape but that wouldn't be fair to his father. If it was Charlotte's old man he was just going to have to deal.
"Jake, call for you." Billy hollered.
"Here goes." Jacob scowled as he marched out of his room and joined his father in the lounge. "Who is it?" He whispered.
"I don't know. It's some girl." Billy frowned. "Is she the reason you broke it off with Charlotte?"
"I don't know who it is." Jacob replied as he gave Billy an irritated glance. He put the phone to his ear. "What?" He said in a less then polite tone.
"Don't hang up." An unfamiliar female voice stated coldly.
"Who are you?" Jacob demanded.
"My name is Rosalie Cullen. I need you to meet me. I want to talk to you about Bella Swan."
Bella woke up with a raging migraine. She moaned in pain as she opened her weary eyes. She found Edward perched on the bed next to her. He was gazing at her mournfully. "You lost control, Bella." He said sadly.
"Lost control." She echoed him, confused. Her memories were fuzzy. "How?"
"You let your emotions run away again. When they get too heightened this happens. You have to stop doing this to yourself. It pains me to see this happen over and over again." Edward took her hand and held it to his cold cheek.
Bella was caked in a cold sweat. The pores of her skin were leaking perspiration as if her body was trying to expel something. Her clothes clung to her body. She longed for a shower. "I need to go to the bathroom."
"You need to rest." Edward chided her.
"I'm uncomfortable." Bella winced at the pounding in her head. She looked at Edward more closely. His eyes were dark, almost coal black. He hadn't hunted in days. "You need to hunt."
"I won't leave you alone." Edward vowed. "Once Carlisle comes back from his conference only then will I risk it."
"I am only going to have a shower then I will go straight back to bed." Bella said wearily. "Go Edward. Esme, Alice and Jasper are around. I will be fine."
"You need to eat." Edward insisted. He pointed toward some pancakes. "Esme made these for you."
Bella wanted to throw up. Even the smell of them made her nauseous. There was the same white powder scattered over them like sugar. "If I eat them in front of you right now, then will you go hunting?" She said tiredly. "Call it a compromise."
Edward gave in. It was obvious his thirst was great. He inhaled her sweet scent like a drug and finally nodded his head. "I won't leave until I've seen that you've eaten every last scrap."
Jacob wanted to crush the phone in his fist. But Billy was right there, looking at him curiously. Jacob didn't want to worry his father. So he swallowed his anger and curtly agreed to meet Rosalie Cullen in the Forks diner of all fucking places. He half wanted to tell the vamp to piss off but just the mention of Bella's name had sent his heart racing feverishly in his chest. God, he despised himself for his body's reaction. He ended the call, forcing himself not to slam the phone down in its cradle. Whether the blonde vamp wanted to speak about Bella or not, a Cullen was back in Forks and that had to be dealt with.
"Are you alright?" Billy asked cautiously. He had noticed Jacob's sudden tension. "Who is this girl?"
"No one important." Jacob said coolly. "I have to go out I've got some business to deal with."
"What business?" Billy questioned.
"Dad, I don't need an interrogation. I'm eighteen I don't have to explain my every move. I'll see you later." Jacob was barely holding it together. He needed to get out of the house before he wolfed out completely.
Once Edward had left Esme fussed over Bella like a mother hen once she had come out of the shower. She tucked Bella in like a child and then sat next to the bed, watching over her in case she needed anything. Bella was frustrated. This wasn't what she wanted. She had hoped that sending Edward hunting would mean she finally had room to breathe.
"You don't need to stay with me."
Esme smiled serenely. "It's no trouble. Edward didn't want you to feel alone."
"I'm fine. I'll just be sleeping anyway. You don't have to stay." Bella was getting desperate. She was saved suddenly by the sound of Esme's cell going off. It was Carlisle. To Bella's relief Esme decided to go to her room so she could speak to Carlisle in private. She told Bella to rest before she floated gracefully out of the room.
This was her chance. Bella waited impatiently for five minutes before she clambered out of bed and went to retrieve the little silver cell she had hidden under a tile in the bathroom. She immediately placed a call to Charlie, but there was no answer. She could have cried. She left a long rambling message on his answering machine. Her head was aching. She felt disorientated and knew she must sound drunk. This latest collapse had really affected her ability to function. The food she had eaten hadn't helped. Bella gave up. She was slurring her words now. She left her room, the silver cell shoved in the back pocket of her jeans. She was delirious and not sure what she was doing. She shook her head trying to clear it.
Bella wandered down the hallways, lurching from one side to the other. She didn't seem to be able to walk in a straight line. Her emotions were chaotic. She was scared, panicked, frightened all rolled into one. She stopped for a moment and held her hands in front of her face. She tried to focus her eyes. The skin on her palms was translucent, as it was all over her body. It was diaphanous. She felt so delicate, gossamer thin as if a light breeze could blow her away. She touched her face and felt the silky smoothness of her cheeks with the pads of her fingers. Bella pinched her cheeks turning them rosy, needing to feel the blood that ran sluggishly through her veins. Her heart fluttered like a bird inside her chest. Her head spun and she lurched forward again as she continued on her journey, going nowhere.
Jacob recognised the blonde bitch as soon as he saw her. He didn't need her disgusting smell to alert him to what she was. She stared at him arrogantly as she sat in one of the diner's booths. She wasn't alone either. Her burly mate, with muscles bulging under a tight t-shirt, sat next to her. He glared stonily at Jacob, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the shifters own potent odour.
"At least I don't smell like a funeral home." Jacob scowled as he sat down opposite the pair.
"Says the wet dog." Rosalie matched his scowl. She laid a hand on Emmet's arm to prevent him lunging across the table and grabbing Jacob by the throat.
"What do you want?" Jacob demanded in a low voice. He was having difficulty controlling his anger. Their smell was overpowering in such a small place. He was about to say more when suddenly a plate was dumped in front of him containing two large streaks. "I didn't order this." He snapped at the waitress making the poor woman jump.
"She ordered it." The waitress pointed toward Rosalie before fleeing.
Rosalie's scowl turned into a smirk. "I thought you might be hungry. As I recall you dogs have gargantuan appetites. Anyway it helps cover your revolting smell."
"Ditto." Jacob muttered. Damn it this vamp was good. The steaks smelt delicious. He began to help himself, chewing slowly as he stared at Rosalie and Emmet moodily. "You said you wanted to talk about Bella." He couldn't hide the emotion in his voice when he spoke Bella's name and he glowered.
Jacob's reactions were telling Rosalie all she needed to know. She dropped the sarcasm and became serious. "This is where she is." She passed Jacob a slip of paper.
"Why are you telling me this?" Jacob's eyes darkened as he looked at the slip of paper.
"I've done more than I should already." Rosalie said curtly.
"Bella made her choice." Jacob growled. "It's nothing to do with me."
"Go or don't go. It's up to you." Rosalie motioned to Emmet that they were leaving. "But if you do still care then call the number at the bottom of the address when you get there. They'll bring Bella to you."
Before Jacob could respond or demand more answers Rosalie and her mate swept out of the diner leaving Jacob to pick up the tab for the meal he never wanted.
Bella found herself outside Carlisle's study. She had only ever been inside a few times since they had all relocated to Alaska. It was a carbon copy of the one he had in Forks. She tried the door, already knowing it would be locked. She didn't know why he bothered. The house was filled with vamps, they could get in easily. Frustrated she rattled the door handle. It wouldn't budge. Damn it! She had a sudden urge to see what was inside. It was very rare for Carlisle and Edward to be out of the house. This was the perfect opportunity to nose around. Bella's head spun. She really should be in bed, but this opportunity was too good to miss. If only she could get in. Bella flexed her fingers and gripped the brass doorknob with both hands. She felt a surge of adrenaline run through her frail body, and like the time when she had managed to thrust Edward away from her, Bella broke the lock. The door swung open and she fell inside the room in a dead faint.
Even that small effort had cost her. Bella didn't know how long she had been out. It could have been seconds or hours. But the fact that she was still alone pointed to the former. She struggled to rise, her body shivering with fear. Once again her skin was caked in a cold sweat. Bella shut the door behind her. She peered blearily around Carlisle's study. The first thing that stood out was the enormous portrait of the Volturi castle. It was a painting that had once hung in the replica study in Forks. It showed the three Volturi leaders, Aro in the centre with Marcus and Caius flanking him, standing on a huge balcony overlooking their domain. Carlisle, dressed in the same flamboyant clothing of the period, stood alongside them.
"I forgot you were a kept boy once." Bella muttered under her breath. She tore her eyes away from the elaborate portrait and wandered around the room. Huge tomes filled the wooden bookshelves from floor to ceiling. With all the modern technology at his disposal Carlisle still liked to record his medical notes the old fashioned way. The bookshelves held centuries of research. The thought was mind boggling.
Bella's attention was drawn to a huge leather chair which was set in front of Carlisle's heavy oak desk. It was somehow familiar. There was a tall metal pole next to it, something that you could possibly hang a saline drip on. A memory pricked at the back of Bella's frazzled brain but she couldn't get it to materialise. She sighed heavily. There was nothing to see here. She was about to leave when she caught sight of a locked cabinet in the far corner of the room. A light was shining through the cracks and there was a faint humming coming from it like you would get from a freezer or something. Bella approached it curiously, hugging her arms across her chest. She inspected it closely. She could feel the chill emanating from it. Bella tried to prise the doors open but like the study it was locked. She rattled them in frustration.
"Damn." Bella hunted around for a key or something. She tried several of the drawers in Carlisle's desk but they were sealed as tight as a drum too. Bella cussed in irritation as she faced the cabinet. She could probably force the doors apart but it would cost her. If she collapsed in Carlisle's study and Edward found her there would be all sorts of questions. Anger welled up inside her and Bella did a scissor kick with her legs. Her boot slammed into the doors making the whole cabinet rattle alarmingly. She did it again and again. She let out all her frustration on the thing. She could feel her eyelids drooping. She was slipping away. She grunted in anger as she kicked out at the cabinet one last time. The doors finally flew open revealing what was inside.
There were dozens of vials lined up in neat rows filled with specimens. Bella fell against the cabinet. The vials rattled. She was going, her eyes were closing. She tried to see what was written on the tubes in Carlisle's neat writing. "Hold on, just hold on." She pleaded in her mind.
There were several vials of her blood with her name and the date they were taken recorded on the front. Her eyes travelled along the glass bottles. There were other names she didn't recognise. Some of the glass bottles were filled with strange coloured liquids that gave off an effervescent smell. Bella felt sick. She was going under. She grabbed onto the cabinet to hold herself upright. She forced her lids to stay open as she read other names on the other samples of blood. One she did recognise other than her own. She gasped as she fell onto the floor, her world spinning on its head. The study door opened on silent hinges and a small figure emerged. Bella's vision was swimming. Someone hovered over her.
"Alice?"
"I saw a vision of you coming in here." Alice whispered as she hunkered down beside Bella and touched her forehead. "You shouldn't have come in here." She said regretfully.
Bella tried to form words but she couldn't fight the darkness anymore. She closed her eyes and slipped into unconsciousness.
Jacob was so fucking angry. How dare the blonde bitch put him in this position? He had cut all ties with Bella as soon as she left to go on her honeymoon. How many nights had he spent grieving for her? As soon as she left he had to accept that she was dead to him. It hurt, it fucking hurt. He had been a mess for so long as he wallowed in darkness. Without his dad, without the pack he would have drowned in his sorrow. But eventually he managed to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and begin to live a semblance of a life. He had banished Bella from his mind. It was his only way of coping. It was an unspoken rule that none of the pack ever mentioned her name. Only Billy dared to upon occasion if he noticed Jacob struggling. Jacob avoided Charlie. It was just too hard to be around the guy. It was like a constant reminder of what he had lost. But now this….
Bella was a vampire wasn't she? That had been the intention when she left. His skin burned as he relived their last argument, the one where she had told him that she was going to delay the change and have a proper honeymoon with the leech. He had initially thought it was a sick joke, that she was taunting him, but it wasn't. He had been so damn angry. He had tried to attack Edward but his brothers had hauled him away. He had never seen Bella again. It stuck in his craw that this was his last ever memory of her. Why would the blonde bitch do this? Jacob couldn't understand it. Her message had been cryptic. She had explained nothing at all.
Jacob wanted to ignore it. The vamps were gone now. He could just rip up the slip of paper and burn the pieces never to think of it again. But what if…what if…what if…
What if Bella had changed her mind and was crying out for his help?
Jacob was in torment. He couldn't handle it. She had made her choice. She had rejected him. If her happily ever after had turned sour it wasn't his problem. Why should he be forced to ride to her rescue? But the love was still there, beating like a drum underneath the hurt ripping his heart to shreds. He hated that even after all she had done to him he still fucking loved her so damn much.
Jacob slept on it overnight, or tried to anyway. It really meant he laid awake worrying and tormenting himself with what ifs. As the new day dawned he finally came to a decision. He couldn't handle this alone. He already knew what his brothers would say. He could hear Sam's lecturing voice telling him to leave well alone. He thought of his father. Billy would try to understand but in the end he would advise the same. Walk away, son. Just walk away. No, there was only one person who would relate to what he was going through and that was Charlie Swan. With this resolution in mind Jacob went to see Bella's father.
A/N-thanks for reading!