Lost

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-thank you for the kind reviews!

Chapter Six

Jacob hesitated before he entered the room. He wouldn't admit it to himself but he was feeling anxious about seeing Bella again. The first time he had laid eyes on her she had been unconscious. But now she was awake. He could hear her talking quietly to Charlie. Occasionally she broke out into a choked sob. Charlie would console her and then she would calm down. But by the sound of it Bella Swan was utterly bereft. She kept apologising to Charlie over and over, occasionally rambling about things that made no sense. Jacob felt like an eavesdropper but he wanted to be fully in control when he saw Bella again. Their last meeting hadn't gone so well. He winced as he remembered their bitter argument on her wedding day. How he wished he had taken her away that day, even if he had to drag her away kicking and screaming. It was his biggest regret that he hadn't fought Sam's order hard enough and let his own hurt feelings get in the way of his better instincts.

Well he couldn't stand outside the room forever, the food would get cold. Jacob took a deep breath and opened the door. As soon as he stepped foot inside he saw the relief on Charlie's face. The older man stood up and hurried over to take the food from him. "Thanks kid."

"Be careful it's still hot." Jacob replied huskily. He braced himself before he dared to turn his head and look at Bella. He had heard her sharp intake of breath as soon as she saw him. It was like she wasn't expecting him to be there. Had Charlie told her nothing? "Hey Bells." He greeted her casually as if it was no big deal. He sounded nonchalant but he was far from it.

Bella burst into tears as soon as he spoke to her. Great racking sobs tore from her throat. Jacob exchanged an alarmed glance with Charlie. He hadn't expected this reaction. His heart was urging him to run to her and wrap her fragile body in his arms. But his pragmatic side won out and he stayed where he was while Charlie ditched the food and did the comforting. It was hard taking a step back and pretending that he wasn't affected by her tears. Their relationship used to be as easy as breathing once upon a time. In the old days he would have rushed to comfort her straight away. But things were different now. They were different. He didn't know where he stood with Bella now. Jacob was struggling with his own emotions. He watched Charlie covertly as he took over the food prep. Bella's father was clearly out of his comfort zone. Bella was sobbing on his shoulder and didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Jacob felt a lump lodge in his throat. He had to give himself a stern talking to in his head to stop himself rushing to Bella and taking over.

Eventually Bella's sobs lessened but only because she was exhausted. Charlie released her and plumped up the pillows behind her to make her more comfortable. "Is that better?"

Bella nodded weakly. Jacob glanced at her again and nearly came undone. Her complexion was so white. Her eyes were reddened from crying, the delicate skin underneath looked bruised. He hated seeing her so fragile. His jaw tightened as he thought about ripping Edward Cullen to shreds and burning the pieces. One day soon Cullen was going to pay. He wouldn't escape the next time. Jacob finished unwrapping the food and arranging it on the paper plates. Then he passed one to Charlie before approaching Bella cautiously. He held out the plate to her.

"I'm afraid this is all I could get." He said apologetically. Jacob could have rolled his eyes. He sounded so lame. Bella was distraught and all he was doing was rambling about the stupid food.

"Jake." Bella whispered brokenly. She blinked furiously as she tried to stop more tears from spilling out of her eyes. "I'm sorry I cried. It was just a shock seeing you."

She hadn't acknowledged the food. Jacob swallowed again. "A good shock I hope." He said eventually.

Bella smiled wanly. It didn't reach her eyes. "It was a very good shock."

"You must be hungry." Jacob held out the paper plate to her again. "I got you one of those cheese melt things you like…." He paused. "Well you used to like it anyway…." His voice tailed off.

Bella stared at the food dully. The smell was nauseating. She tried to hide her disgust and took the plate from him. "Thank you very much." She said politely.

"Okay then." Charlie cleared his throat. "Well then let's eat." He said over cheerfully as he tried to lessen the tension.

Jacob nodded as he pulled the only other chair in the room closer to Bella's bed and sat down. He automatically began to eat his food. Charlie picked at his too but Bella's plate remained on her lap untouched. "Are you not hungry, kiddo?" Charlie asked.

"Not really." Bella said faintly.

"You have to eat." Charlie replied in concern. "You're so thin, Bells. In fact I'm guessing you're anaemic. Your gran was the same. I know it's not gourmet food but just try and eat a bit just to ease your old man's worry, huh."

"Okay." Bella murmured. She stared at the food. It really smelt unappetising. A wave of sadness washed over her. Jacob was right she used to love the cheese melt things but now all food tasted abominable. Still, she had to try. She gingerly picked apart the cheese melt and used the plastic fork to raise it to her lips. She could tell that her father was trying not to watch her, or Jacob. Taking a deep breath she placed a small piece on her tongue and began to chew. It tasted like ashes in her mouth. Tears welled in her eyes but she was determined not to cry. She had made enough of a fool of herself in front of Jacob as it was by weeping like a crazy woman.

Bella wished she could explain her reaction to Jacob when she first laid eyes on him after so many months apart. She had been so overwhelmed with happiness. Hearing the familiar greeting Hey Bells fall so easily from his lips had sent her spiralling back into the past, to a time when she had felt happy, safe. As she tried to force the food down she studied Jacob discreetly. He had changed, not just physically but emotionally too. It saddened her to see how guarded he was around her. There was none of the easy familiarity that she used to enjoy. He was keeping his distance. In the old days he would have wrapped his arms around her as soon as she got upset. But he had held back, allowing Charlie to do the comforting himself. This hurt. Bella knew it was irrational. Why should he put himself out there? She had essentially handed his heart back on a platter after she had married Edward. What was she expecting? That he would forgive her easily and they would just be Jake and Bells again and act as if nothing had happened.

Bella forgot to eat as she gave up all pretence of being discreet. She stared at him, taking note of the changes in his physical appearance. Was it her imagination or was he more beautiful then she remembered. His hair was longer which surprised her. It hung almost to his shoulders at the back. The longer strands at the front kept getting in his eyes as he ate and he would sweep it back impatiently. His loose over shirt did nothing to hide the definition of his muscles as he sat casually in his chair with his long legs stretched out in front of him. Bella wished she could see his eyes but he kept his gaze fixated on his food.

"Bells, your food is getting cold." Charlie prompted her when he noticed that she had stopped eating. He followed the direction of her gaze and nodded in understanding. "You should use Jake as an example. He sure can put his food away."

"I remember." Bella said wistfully. Her heart was in her eyes as she stared at Jacob. When she spoke he raised his head and suddenly looked in her direction. For one second his guard dropped and a glimmer of a smile played about his lips. But just as quickly it was gone.

"I'm just going to get some air. I'll be back soon." Jacob said abruptly as he stood up. He strode out of the room quickly before anyone could question him.

Jacob knew he was being a coward but he couldn't help it. The longer he was around her the more his feelings began to resurface. He couldn't allow it to happen. He had to remain focused and in control. His love for Bella was ingrained deep in his soul but he couldn't just erase the past. She had really hurt him. When she had chosen the leech over him it had nearly been the end of him. It had taken a long time before he managed to pull himself together. He was in a good place mentally. If he allowed her back into his heart he would be vulnerable again. He didn't want to feel that way ever again. Jacob was determined to keep his distance. He would protect Bella with his life, but trusting her with his heart again wasn't going to happen.

He decided to take an early morning stroll. He was too wired to sleep even though he had been up all night. He wandered around aimlessly. Not many people were around. The air was frigid but the sky was a beautiful azure blue. Only a few clouds scudded across the sky to break up the intense colour. Jacob came across a small diner. The tantalising smell of cooked breakfast drew him inside. There were only a few other people inside. Hardy men, their faces heavily lined from working outside in all weathers, turned to look at him. A few raised their eyebrows at the size of him but they didn't intrude on his solitude as he sat in one of the booths. Even though he had only just eaten he always had room for more. He picked up the menu and studied it. A few minutes later a pretty waitress approached.

"Hello stranger." She smiled perkily. "What can I get you?" She pulled out a pencil from behind her ear ready to take down his order.

Jacob relaxed. "What do you suggest?" He smiled charmingly.

The waitress returned it with one of her own. "I could surprise you." She teased.

"I bet." Jacob's eyes sparkled. The waitress was already putty in his hands.

"My name is Judith by the way."

"Jacob."

"Nice name." Judith flirted. "I'll go and get you that surprise." She smirked, swinging her hips as she walked away.

Jacob's smile faded as soon as she was out of sight. They had only exchanged a few words but he was comparing her to Bella. Fuck it! What was he doing? He was desperate for a distraction but Bella kept intruding on his thoughts. Would he ever be able to move on?

When Judith returned with his order Jacob had already gone.

Charlie watched over his daughter as she slept. She hadn't eaten much, as soon as Jacob had left all her energy seemed to go with him. It saddened Charlie to see the two of them dancing around each other. He had seen the pain in Bella's face as she watched Jacob leave with barely a word. He couldn't blame the kid for having his guard up around his daughter. Bella had hurt Jacob badly. Charlie had seen how difficult it had been for his friend's son to piece his life back together. It hadn't been an easy ride. Billy had been despairing at one point that his son would never recover. It was a difficult situation. They say time healed all wounds and all he could do was hope that Bella and Jacob found their way back to each other.

Bella moaned in her sleep. Charlie saw her brow furrow. He sat next to her on the bed and stroked her hair back from her face. Her forehead was beaded with perspiration. Suddenly her body tensed. Charlie stroked her hair again hoping his touch would calm her down. This was too much like the nightmares she used to have when Cullen had first left her. Bella's fingers curled into fists as she jerked. Her head flopped to one side as a cold sweat broke out all over her body. Within seconds her clothes were soaked through. They clung to her body as she writhed again.

"Bells." Charlie was getting anxious again. "It's alright."

"Daddy." Bella mumbled. She sounded so young, so tormented.

Charlie felt helpless. He just wanted to get his little girl home somewhere safe. "I promise when we get you home that I'll make sure that nothing and no one ever hurts you again, kiddo." He vowed. "I'll get Edward Cullen for what he's put you through. I promise." His words seemed to comfort her as Bella's body finally relaxed.

Jacob was restless. He wandered around aimlessly. He was hyped up and wanted to phase so badly to run off his tension. It was broad daylight now and he couldn't risk it. So he tried to walk off his tension instead. But all it did was give him too much time to think. He sighed in aggravation as he found a place to rest and sat down. He really needed to get it together. They were all going to be in Anchorage for another two days yet. Jacob pulled out the notebook that he had found the night before. He had almost forgotten about it. He flipped it open. He might as well pass some time by reading what was inside. The memory stick was still taped to the back. He wished he had a lap top so he could see what was on it. It was all such a mystery. He began to read the first entry. It was dated four weeks ago. There was a lot of medical jargon that Jacob didn't understand. Right at the end of the first entry was a more personal log.

It irks me that Bella's condition is deteriorating even after all my efforts to adjust the dosage. I have to confess I am frustrated by the lack of progress. After every single treatment her body rejects Edward's venom. It spills out of the pores of her skin like water….

What the fuck? Jacob nearly crushed the notebook in his hands as he read the personal log. What the hell did they think they were doing? Bella wasn't some kind of science experiment. His hands shook as he forced himself to turn the page and read the next personal log.

It is getting difficult to control Bella during the treatments. She constantly tries to resist. She is getting stronger. Today she broke her restraints and it took both Edward and I to restrain her. He was very distraught which proved unfortunate. But he understands this was never going to be easy. Thankfully with the proper drug administration Bella doesn't remember what happens which is a blessing…

Jacob couldn't believe what he was reading. It was like something out of a horror film. What the hell was the vamp doctor trying to do to Bella? And Edward was in collusion with him. It was sick, fucking sick. He inhaled sharply before he continued reading the next personal log.

The shifter's ability to heal will always be a source of fascination to me. It was unfortunate that I was only able to obtain a single sample of Ephraim Black's blood. That single sample was not enough to help Alice of course. She was a huge failure. My experiments on her came to naught. But I was younger then, too eager. I have learned to be patient. Thankfully she has no memory of why she was turned or about my involvement. She seems appeased by the false story that was put in place in order to stop her investigations into her past…

Jacob had to take a moment. His anger was rising. He stood up, pacing back and forth as he tried to calm down. Carlisle Cullen had obtained a sample of his ancestor's blood. How was this even possible? Was it his plan to make a treaty with the last wolf pack just so he could get close to them? He thought of the little pixie. He had always mistrusted her but she had been a victim just like Bella. It was ghastly all of it. Carlisle was sick and twisted. Jacob didn't want to but he had to read more. The next few entries were about Bella and how the treatments were affecting her physically and emotionally. Her moods were worsening. Carlisle had been adjusting the dosage but her immune system continued to fight back. One entry was filled with his personal frustration at his lack of progress. Then the last but one entry…

I am on the verge of a breakthrough. I am so euphoric. I have to be careful, I do not have many samples of the shifter's blood left. I was only able to take a few from Jacob Black while he was recuperating from his injuries. The wolf pack was on constant guard. This new pack is more vigilant than their predecessors. I am rambling again. Getting straight to the point I decided to take a risk and be bold. I added two more droplets of the shifter's blood to the venom sample. I am euphoric. The changes in Bella's condition were immediate. She was healing from the inside out. Her skin tone was almost completely normal. I tested her heart rate, blood pressure and they are almost completely as they should be for a young woman of her age. It's a pity that the poor child is suffering so many side effects but if this trend continues then a cure is in sight…

Jacob was in agony. How Bella had suffered. He now knew how the vamp doctor had obtained his blood without his permission. He had taken it while he had been treating his injuries after the newborn battle. Carlisle hadn't been helping he had used the situation to his advantage so he could continue his sick experiments. Bella had just been another pawn in his search for this cure whatever it was. He wished he could understand some of the medical jargon. There were pages of it. Only Carlisle's personal log made any sense. There was only one more. He was almost afraid to read it.

I am beyond livid. Bella has frustrated me again. She expelled the venom but also the shifters blood as well. Her immune system is somehow fighting back. I cannot understand it. I have an inkling that it has to do with the fact that some of James' venom still resides inside her body. I need to run more tests. I was so close. I was on the verge. The side effects are worsening. I must be careful. She is very fragile now. I am not sure how much longer she will be able to cope. Edward is beginning to question the validity of my research but I reminded him once again why we are doing this. Bella still maintains some traits of both. She has strength, but only in short bursts. She tires easily. The drugs are having more of an effect. She sleeps for hours but it kills her appetite. I have to attend this medical conference but once I return I plan to up the dosage to the maximum level….

That was the last entry. There was no more. Sickened Jacob stashed the notebook in the back pocket of his jeans. He just wanted to get back to Bella and hold her in his arms. Fuck maintaining his distance. He didn't care anymore. She had been through hell while he had been busy nursing his broken heart. The two just didn't compare.

As he slipped silently into the room he noticed that Charlie was fast asleep. His exhaustion had caught up with him. He lay sprawled on the other bed snoring softly. Jacob's eyes travelled to Bella. She was asleep too. He was surprised to see that she had a change of clothes. She was dressed in one of Charlie's shirts. It came down to her knees. She was lying on top of the covers not underneath them like before. He wondered why. He walked over to her bed not making a sound. But despite this she seemed to know he was there. Slowly her eyes opened and she turned her head to look up at him. The tormented look on her face broke him.

"Bella." His voice cracked. He hunkered down beside the bed and took her cold hand in his. "I'm sorry."

"Can you hold me?" Bella whispered hoarsely. "Please."

Jacob nodded, now beyond words. He kicked his boots off and crawled onto the bed beside her. He did what he had wanted to do since they had been reunited. He put one arm underneath her and cradled her against his warm body. She was light, like a fragile bird. He could hear her heart fluttering in her chest. Bella's eyes closed again in exhaustion. As soon as her breathing was deep and even Jacob knew she was properly asleep. He rested his head next to hers but stayed awake to keep watch.

A/N-thanks for reading!