Panda Note: So its been ages and I am hoping to bring this one back and finish it once and for all. I apologize greatly for lack of…story. Yes that's it!

Chapter Six

Sam couldn't remember a time when she had really enjoyed what she was doing, it seemed so long ago. As she stood in the beautifully built kitchen, gripping her apron covered in her famous cheese sauce and watched with dismay as one of the senior chef's ran past, hat aflame, it all seemed to run in slow motion. Happiness didn't live here anymore, she thought.

She could feel the squishiness of the sauce run from her fist onto the tile floor and the rest in her hair and on her face. It was moments like this that she wished to quit and never return.

With the disaster commencing in her once glorious kitchen at work, she concluded that it was time to clock out an let others with more sanity attempt fixing the mess that a third party had created.

The drive home was filled with sounds from her opened windows, the rush of traffic, beeping, rubber against asphalt, droplets of rain hitting metal. It all seemed to be on a different wavelength to Sam as she found her car heading on the 99, headed north.

It wasn't until she was parked outside of Freddie's job that she snapped out of her haze. She hadn't intended to end up here at his place of work, midday, hours before he was due to get off work, yet there she was. Maybe it was her brains way of letting her know that she probably needed to see his face and hear his voice, just to make the day a little bright, though she wouldn't dare let him or anyone for that matter know of this.

It wasn't until she had passed security that she realized what a mess she was. She wasn't well known for putting too much stock in what anyone thought of her or her appearance, but at that moment as she stood in the hallway she felt nasty. Just as she was about to turn back and head home for a much needed shower Freddie's fluff of hair caught her eye.

He was leaning against someone's desk off to the left side of the set chatting rather animatedly with a cute red-head. Her hand would find its way on Freddie's shoulder, pushing it playfully—flirtatiously.

Old Sam would have walked right over and pushed the girl down and reclaimed what was hers, this Sam—older and deflated—just stood by, slumped over, dripping with cheese sauce and messy hair, watching as her boyfriend flirted right back with the overly attractive young woman. It should have caused something to spark inside of the blond to see him this way—actually being himself with someone else—someone who was not her. But all she felt at that moment was defeat.

With a heavy sigh she turned on her heal and sluggishly headed back to their apartment to shower and think.

The apartment felt even emptier than it had in months.

Sam stood in front of the closed door and looked around their apartment, taking in the memories that had been made there. Her eyes first land on a painting sitting off on the far wall near the kitchen. She chuckles bitterly as the memory of how it had received the holes in the bottom half.

They had just moved in, after living in Boston for school. This had been the first place to catch their eye once returning to Seattle. They didn't have too much to fill it, even from their old apartment in Boston, so Freddie had made it his personal mission to bring something home from work, they could do that apparently—to give their new home some character. The first thing that he had brought back was a painting of Meg Ryan that someone at the office had done during the filming of Sleepless In Seattle. For some reason they both had agreed to hang it in the kitchen.

At the time the two had thought it would be fun to play darts, using the painting as a target. That night not only was the painting ruined but Freddie had managed to get a dart stuck in his arm and they spent their first night back in Seattle in the ER.

The much older Sam sighed and ran her fingers over the punctured painting. Looking about the apartment only caused more sighing, more memories of their happy years together. She felt too old for someone so young.

Looking at all the pictures of them through the years only added to that old feeling. Seeing their smiling, youthful faces made her wonder for a moment if even then, did he want to remain with her forever or was it an act?

Shaking away those thoughts, she berated herself for allowing them to even come forth. Of course Freddie wanted to be with her, of course he loved her. She knew this without a doubt, but then what was causing suck strange changes with him.

Touching an old photo she couldn't help but wish for that moment. The two only the age of four sitting on the beach together with a bucket and a shovel and smiling. Though she faintly remembered the stories of that day, of her taking the shovel and pouring massive amounts of sand down the back of his pants. His mother was apparently not too pleased by this.

With a heavy heart she headed off to take a much needed shower.

During the night Sam gave up hope that Freddie was coming home and turned over towards his pillow. It was almost two in the morning and she couldn't help the images that were flowing. Freddie kissing that red-head, touching her, her touching him. It made her physically sick to think of anyone else touching him and him allowing it to happen.

It wasn't until three o'clock rolled around that she heard the key push through the lock. Part of Sam didn't want to see him then, after all the thoughts that had flown through her mind over the past few hours.

Twenty minutes later their bedroom door opens and Freddie creeps in silently, though not silently enough. She listens unmoving as he undresses, goes into the bathroom and then returns, to crawl into bed beside her and lay unmoving.

This time she refuses to move from her position on her side of the bed, doesn't break from her fake slumber. He knows she's faking it by the stiffness in her body and the way she's breathing, but he doesn't say anything.

They both lay on their own sides of the bed, as if there is an entire ocean between them.

Sam was the first to wake up the next morning, Freddie still fast asleep on his side of the bed. She stood there a moment and watched him and internally hoped that he hadn't done anything unfaithful the night before. Just thinking it made her sick and ashamed that she could think such things about him.

Shuffling out of their bedroom after a shower and getting dressed, she took Hammy, who had slept most of the day before due to his medication, over to the neighbors.

Their neighbor was a sweet woman and seemed to enjoy having Hammy crash at her place, to keep her Corgi company.

About a week later, across Seattle Spencer found his home occupied with a six year old girl named Kat. She eyed him much like she always did when she visited them, though this time she was really working something out in her mind. It wasn't until Lisa walked in with her bags that she snapped out of it and pulled at the hem of his t-shirt.

"Are you my uncle?"

Spencer looked up from the little girl to Lisa who seemed slightly amused by this question.

"I suppose I am, kiddo."

She seemed satisfied by this answer and headed to the kitchen to find a snack.

"That was interesting," Lisa commented pressing the overly pink briefcases into his lanky arms.

"Yeah…interesting."

He seemed to work in autopilot as he set up Carly's old room for Kat. The entire time the word seemed to fiddle around in his poor brain. It was an innocent question. Yet it felt as if it had awakened something else, something he hadn't even put thought to until this moment.

He should be her uncle, officially.

Here he was with an amazing woman like Lisa for god knows how long and he never once thought to marry her. It wasn't as though the thought scared him or that he wasn't the type to get hitched, really it wasn't that at all! But it seemed that even the notion had swam around upstairs for a moment. He'd always seen himself one lucky bastard but it never occurred to him that he might actually want it.

He wanted it more than he could realize, then.

It wasn't until Lisa appeared before him did he realize how long he had been sitting on Carly's old bed thinking.

"Hey there Spence, you okay?"

She sat down beside him and leaned her left shoulder into his right, he could feel all her warmth surround him.

"I'm better than okay actually, everything makes so much sense,"

Lisa couldn't help but be amused by her dear boyfriends look of clarity. Something had happened to him that seemed to have blown his mind out of the water, it was quite refreshing.

"Care to share?" she bobbed her head from side to side, much like Kat did when she was in a good mood or trying to get your attention.

The former MMA fighter wasn't sure what was coming, mainly because of Spencer's idea of serious consisted of running out of milk or finding an ingrown hair on his butt. Yet something about the way his eyes were looking into hers at that moment said it all. It was like he was looking at her for the first time and she was by far the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. It made her skin tickle and itch.

"Well," he started, bringing his hand up to brush at her cheek with the tips of his long fingers, "how is it that I never once asked you to marry me?"

That wasn't what she had expected at all.

To be honest she never gave it a single thought until now.

It just seemed that they were together in every sense, except for legally.

All these thoughts started to form then, what if something happened to either of them, she didn't really have a lot of family left, except for the small one she had gained with Spencer. Carly was like her little sister and Sam was like her daughter, though she wouldn't say that to anyone. Even the Bensons and Sam's dad were her family, as dysfunctional as they could be at times.

He kissed her then and every worry in the world flew out.

She would marry this man, it was decided.

"Oooow!" came a voice from the doorway, "You guys are sharing coodies!" laughed Kat as she giggled behind her little hands.

Since it was Friday and a general rule, the whole family got together for dinner after the taping of iCarly. The trio arrived at Spencer and .Lisa's at nine that evening and found a cute blond girl on the couch watching some horrible Dingo show. She looked up and squealed upon seeing them. Carly had met her twice before but only for a moment or two. From what Spencer had shared with Carly, Kat—Lisa's six year old niece—was a fan of their kids hour of iCarly that they did online.

"I'm Kat!" she yelled up at the three.

Freddie smiled, though he felt increasingly uncomfortable standing in front of her, having her look up at him. It wasn't as though he were responsible for the girl, yet he felt automatically in that position. Kids rarely liked him, so it was strange to have this little girl attached to his hip. She followed him around the house and on the couch, where she practically talked his ear off.

It was endearing to say the least.

It also gave him an excuse to not have to speak to anyone else, especially Carly who was lurking about. She had called him three days before and had given him an earful before hanging up. He knew that Sam had told Carly something that had upset her. The what he wasn't so sure about. He figured it was his attitude as of late, with Sam. It had to be that.

It was clear that Sam had, had enough of Freddie's nonsense and had left to stay with Roger for a few days until she could calm down enough to be in the same house as him. It didn't help that they had to film the show that night but even then she didn't speak with him unless she had to, but even then it was clipped and closed off.

Even though he knew quite clearly he was in the wrong, he just couldn't muster up the guts to just explain himself to her. It should be the simplest thing to do, to be honest with the woman he loves, to fix their relationship that he seemed to be ruining all on his own.

After dinner everyone gathered around the big screen TV that Spencer was so proud of and watched some movie about a good vampire who is misunderstood by people eat his school, Freddie didn't pay too much attention to it. Kat of course kept talking in his ear and he was surprised by how it didn't bother him. She even curled up beside him and disappeared under his arm.

With the movie ending and everyone saying their goodbyes, Freddie found himself with a sleeping child. Even Sam seemed to vanish from the apartment. Lisa came over to him then and lifted Kat to take her upstairs to bed.

This left Spencer and Freddie all alone.

"I think we need to have a talk Freddo," said Spencer, flopping down on the couch and throwing his arm around the younger man.

"Yeah?"

"Oh yes, its overdue."

Panda Note: So how was that? What's Spencer gonna say? Will Freddie get a grip? I sure hope so! I'll try to write more soon, yell at me if I take too long this time around.

REVIEW! Go!