Lost

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-thank you for the kind reviews!

Chapter Nine

"You can't be serious." Jacob grabbed the notebook and began to flip through it. His keen eyes scanned the contents. The more he read the more he realised that he had been duped. His heart sank as he reached the end to find that the memory stick that had been taped to the back of the book was missing. "Son of a bitch." He roared as a white hot flash of anger surged through him. Jacob threw the notebook across the room.

"JACOB, CALM DOWN. NOW!" Sam ordered instantly when he saw Jacob beginning to shake. He was on the verge of phasing. Instinctively the others sitting at the table made space just in case Jacob did in fact lose control. Sam got in his face and confronted Jacob, getting ready to wrestle him to the ground if he failed to get a grip on his anger.

"Son, what is it?" Billy asked in alarm. He stared at his son. Jacob was taking deep shuddering breaths. He was still shaking. Sue had gone to retrieve the notebook but she still maintained her distance, eyeing Jacob warily.

"He tricked me." Jacob spat. He fell back into his chair and slammed both fists on the table. "The bastard was playing me all along."

"Who?" Sam pulled up a chair beside Jacob and frowned.

"Carlisle." Jacob said incredulously. His anger was now directed at himself. "All that stuff he fed me was bullshit just so he could distract me and get his hands on the real notebook." His fists clenched again as he tried to work out the exact second the vamp doctor had managed to steal it. Jacob recalled having it in his hand but when Charlie had come outside to tell him it was time to leave; Jacob had turned his back on Carlisle for a brief second. He had stuffed the notebook in the back pocket of his jeans. This had given Carlisle the perfect opportunity to take it. The bastard had used an old trick, sleight of hand to obtain it. The fake was very close to the original so unless you examined it closely you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. This was the first time Jacob had really looked at it since reaching La Push.

"You're saying the coven leader switched it." Billy checked as he returned to the table.

"Yes." Jacob replied in frustration. "And I gave him the perfect opportunity." He described to the others when he thought the switch had taken place.

"You couldn't have known." Billy said gently as he tried to reason with his son. He hated seeing Jacob blame himself.

"He's right." Sam agreed. "You were in a difficult situation. I saw through your thoughts the conversation you had with him. I wouldn't have seen that coming either."

Jacob loved that they were trying to support him, even Sam, surprisingly. But he still blamed himself. He had failed Bella already. He had failed everyone. He had taken his eye off the ball. He knew how sneaky the vamps were. That had been proven when he had found the evidence of his own blood from the shattered vials. He shouldn't have let his guard down. He was a fool to let Carlisle even see the notebook. Hindsight was a bitch. There was nothing he could do now. What tormented him the most was the loss of the memory stick. Now he would never know what was on it.

"There is little we can do about that now." Sue intervened, trying to be practical. "I think the best course of action is to let me see Bella and give her a check over. I can only do so much but maybe it'll help."

"Thanks Sue." Billy patted her hand. "We'd appreciate that."

"Yeah, thanks." Jacob echoed him.

"No time like the present." Sue said briskly as she stood up and went to fetch her coat.

So as not to make Charlie suspicious or put more pressure on Bella, Sam stayed outside with Paul and kept watch. As soon as they went inside Billy greeted Charlie. Bella's dad was relieved to see his friend. The two men went off into the kitchen and shared a beer, talking in low voices. Jacob and Sue headed to Jacob's room where Bella was resting. Charlie had told them the last time he had checked on his daughter that she was still asleep. But when Jacob knocked quietly on the door Bella answered.

Jacob went in first and Sue followed. "Hey, Bells." He smiled as he entered the room and hunkered down by the side of the bed. Bella was sitting up propped against the pillows. She still looked tired. The dark circles were more prominent than ever. She raised her hand and put it over Jacob's. The sleeve of her sweater fell back and Sue got a glimpse of how thin her arm was. She was shocked at how frail Charlie's daughter was but she hid it behind a smile. "Sue has offered to give you a free check-up. Do you feel up for that?"

"Hi, Bella." Sue said before Bella could respond. "It's good to see you."

"Hi." Bella smiled weakly. "It's good to see you too."

"Jake, why don't you make us both a hot drink?" Sue said as a way to get him to leave the room for a while. She thought it would be easier on Bella if it was just the two of them. Some of the questions she was going to ask were personal and with Jake being a guy, it might make her uncomfortable.

Jacob gazed at Bella. He was still holding her hand. He was reluctant to leave. "Are you thirsty, Bells?"

"I would like some coffee." Bella knew what Sue was trying to do. There was no way she could stomach anything, but it would take time for Jacob to make the hot drinks.

"Okay. I'll be back soon." Jacob squeezed her hand before he finally left.

Sue picked up her medical bag and began to unpack some of the things she needed. She put her professional face on. "First, I'd like to take your blood pressure. Are you alright with that?" She smiled kindly.

"That's fine." Bella returned her smile tremulously.

Sue picked up the blood pressure kit and carefully pushed the sleeve of Bella's sweater up her arm. God, the child was so thin. She was practically skin and bone. Bella's skin was snow white and had an odd translucent quality to it. As Sue arranged the blood pressure cuff around the top of Bella's left arm she glanced at her wrist. She paused, touching the faint red spots that she found just above the old scar from James' bite.

"Have you had a drip attached to you, Bella?" Sue asked. She made sure that her tone was nonchalant as if it was a standard question.

Bella's eyes travelled to her arm. Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember. In her dreams she had seen herself in Carlisle's study with an IV bag full of some kind of fluid being fed through a cannula. But she wasn't sure that it had ever really happened. Frustrated tears welled in her eyes. "I can't remember."

"That's okay." Sue noted Bella's distress. This was a very sick young woman. She finished with the cuff and then inflated it to take Bella's blood pressure. Sue remained silent as she checked the results. No, that had to be wrong. She hid her worry behind her professional mask as she told Bella she just needed to do it again.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, dear. It's fine." Sue did the procedure all over again. The results were the same. She swallowed thickly. This couldn't be right. She tried a third time just to make sure the equipment wasn't faulty. But it remained the same. Sue took a deep breath as she packed the blood pressure kit away. She felt Bella's eyes on her. She put on another bright smile. "That's done then."

"Was it normal?" Bella asked anxiously.

"Um….it's a little low." Sue revealed. Try practically non-existent, Sue thought to herself. No wonder the girl was passing out every five minutes. It explained her sluggishness. Sue was very worried. It was at such a low level that Bella had a high risk of heart failure. This girl needed to be in a hospital. "Now I need you to relax, Bella. I'm just going to take your temperature."

"Okay." Despite Sue's best efforts Bella was picking up on the older woman's anxiety. She felt her heart begin to race.

Sue put the temperature gage in Bella's ear to get a quick reading. When she saw the results she had to turn away to hide her distress from Bella, she took a few deep breaths before she plastered on another smile. "I'm just going to check the temperature again."

"Is something wrong?" Bella asked fearfully.

"Don't worry." Sue patted her hand. Jeez, Bella's skin was ice cold. Sue used her other ear to take another reading. The results were the same. "When was the last time you menstruated, Bella?"

Bella tried to remember. She racked her brain but nothing came to mind. Her memories were foggy and fragmented. She couldn't trust what she was seeing in her head. "I don't know. I'm sorry." She cried.

"No worries." Sue patted Bella's hand again. "Just keep nice and calm."

"What's wrong with me?" Bella pleaded. "I can see you're worried. Please tell me what's going on."

Sue looked at the broken girl in sympathy. Whatever the vamps had done it had sucked the life out of her. Bella was showing signs of anaemia, and severe dehydration. Sue was guessing she was anorexic or bulimic, maybe both. Her blood pressure was dangerously low. That explained the extreme tiredness and the look of her skin. The girl's temperature was a misnomer. Out of the two readings she had taken one had been so low that it showed hypothermia, the second had been so high that it rivalled Jacob's and his brothers. It had been 103 degrees.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Bella." Sue perched on the edge of the bed. "You are very unwell. You are dangerously underweight. Your blood pressure is low. I am guessing you're anaemic and dehydrated. Have you been eating properly?"

"I find it hard." Bella whispered. "Food is so tasteless, even water makes me want to heave." Tears welled in her eyes. "Carlisle prescribed this vitamin powder. It was on all my food and in my drink."

Sue froze. "Vitamin powder?"

"Yes."

"What did it look like?" Sue asked trying to sound casual.

"It was white, like sugar." Bella replied worriedly. "I didn't like taking it but Edward always insisted."

"Okay." Sue had trouble keeping her voice steady. This sounded more sinister with every passing second. "You rest, okay. I'll get Jacob to bring in that drink." She patted Bella's hand again before she left.

Jacob was on his way back with the drinks when he came across Sue in the hallway. The older woman was leaning with her back pressed against the wall. Her eyes were closed but Jacob noticed the tracks of her tears. His heart clinched in his chest at the sight of Sue's silent distress. The mugs of coffee wobbled in his hands and he was forced to put them down before the contents spilled all over the floor.

"What is it?" Jacob said in a low voice as he approached Sue.

Sue jumped at his sudden appearance. Her eyes flared open and she hurriedly tried to regain her composure. "I was just coming to get you."

"I'm here now." Jacob's dark eyes roamed her face. Sue's cheeks were flushed. "How's Bella?" His voice cracked as he asked.

"She's very sick, Jake." Sue whispered. She struggled to hide her distress. "She needs to be in hospital." She watched the colour drain from his face as she told him the results of her brief examination. "She needs blood tests. Those vamps were putting powder in her food. They said to her it was some type of vitamin, but…" She shook her head in disbelief.

"They were drugging her." Jacob said miserably. Sue had only read the fake notebook; she had never seen the original or read Carlisle's personal logs, if that's what they were. He hurriedly told Sue some of what he had read. He was glad he had a photographic memory. He watched the dawning horror on the older woman's face. "They pumped venom into her. Then they mixed it with my blood." His expression was tormented as he continued. "I know that's true because I found traces of my blood in a broken vial that Bella had with her when the seer dropped her off. So Carlisle Cullen definitely had samples. He took them without me knowing when I was injured after the newborn battle."

"Jake." Sue moaned. "How is Bella even alive?"

"According to his logs Bella's immune system was fighting back. The mixture of the venom and my blood were being ejected through the pores of her skin. That was the way her body was managing to expel the poisonous mixture."

"What the hell was he trying to achieve?" Sue was horrified. She put a hand over her mouth. "I feel sick."

"He kept telling Bella he was trying to find a fucking cure. Whatever that means." Jacob said helplessly. "I don't know what to do. I can't take her to the hospital because of what they might find…but you say she is so sick that she…" He couldn't complete the sentence. "Help me." He begged.

Sue racked her brains as she put a comforting hand on Jacobs's arm. There was little she could do. She was just a simple nurse. She wasn't even certain the most gifted medical practitioner could cure Bella's malady. She sighed sadly. "The most I can do is take some of her blood and get it checked. I have a contact who owes me a favour. It's a risk though." She chewed on her bottom lip. "Jake, I think it might be the time to start exploring other options to help in Bella's case. Maybe you should talk to Old Quil." Sue looked at Jacob's stricken face. "I'm sorry I can't do more." She apologised. "I'm going to have a quiet word with your father, then Sam when I leave. I'll let you and Billy decide what you are going to tell Charlie. You can't keep this from him for much longer."

"I know." Jacob said thickly. He was barely holding it together. He had just gotten Bella back and he could lose her. They were running out of options fast. "Thanks Sue."

"You're welcome." Sue smiled at him sadly as she got ready to leave. "She's in there waiting for you. Try and keep her stress levels down, she needs as much rest as she can. We don't want to put anymore strain on that heart of hers." She kept quiet about the strain on his. Sue patted his arm one last time before she left him alone to his thoughts.

"Hey, Bells." Jacob greeted her with his sunny smile. "One mug of steaming hot coffee coming right up."

Bella wasn't fooled by his false cheer but she kept her worries to herself as he handed her the coffee. Just the smell of it made her want to vomit. Coffee used to be one of her favourite drinks. The ever present tears welled in her eyes. Jacob sat beside her on the bed, holding his own drink in his hand. He tapped their mugs together before he raised his to his lips. Bella gulped as she did the same. She took a sip and nearly gagged as the warm liquid slithered down her throat. She tried to hide her distress behind a smile just like he did.

"You always used to say to me that you never felt awake in the morning until you'd had your coffee." Jacob reminded her.

"I said that did I." Bella tried to recall the memory but it eluded her.

"Yes." Jacob put his mug down and shifted on the bed so he was lying right beside her. He stretched his long legs out in front of him and crossed them at the ankle. Bella leaned her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her. "It was your morning ritual."

"Oh." Bella wished she could remember. It worried her that even little things she used to do before she got involved with the Cullens were fading. She kept her worries buried inside. "I was quite daft, wasn't I." She mumbled.

Jacob smiled wistfully. "No you were just Bells." He rubbed the top of her arm as she sighed softly. "I can still remember the first day we met. You were five. I was in the front yard at home and Charlie brought you over to play with my sisters. But you know Rach and Beck they never needed anybody but each other."

"Rach and Beck?" Bella echoed faintly. Who were Rach and Beck? She struggled to remember.

"You were so shy, but so darn cute too. You stood watching me, wondering what the hell I was doing in the mud." Jacob continued. He was back in the past. "I said did you want to help me make them and you shook your head no because you didn't want to get your shoes dirty."

Bella looked up at his profile. He was so handsome, so sweet and kind. She gripped her mug between her fingers, trying to stop her hands shaking. "Did I help you make….them?" She couldn't remember what them was.

"Eventually." Jacob grinned as he stroked her arm again with his warm fingers. "When Charlie came back for you I wasn't the only one covered in mud."

"It sounds like it was fun." Bella could have cried. Her heart was breaking. What else was she going to lose? Were her memories the next thing? Would she disappear piece by piece until there was nothing left?

"It was." Jacob came back into the moment. He gazed down at her and was surprised to see her looking so upset. "I'm sorry, Bells. I shouldn't keep rambling about the past."

"You are not rambling." Bella insisted. "Please talk some more. I like hearing you speak. It makes me happy reminiscing about our past. Please." And it may help me remember who I used to be, she thought desperately.

"Okay." Jacob was pleased that he was making her happy. He felt her nestle into his side as he began to talk.

A/N-thanks for reading!