Lost
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story!
Chapter Fourteen
"Are you okay, honey?" Jacob asked as he sat down on the bed next to Bella. She was looking really peaky despite Charlie and Billy saying she had slept all night without interruption. Bella didn't look rested at all.
"I just feel really tired this morning." She confessed. She rested her head against Jacob's shoulder as he shifted further on the bed and put his arm around her.
"I'm sorry I was gone so long." Jacob apologised. He played with the fingers of her left hand.
"You were out keeping me safe….again." Bella said with a ghost of a smile.
"It's what I do." Jacob assured her. "Don't worry about me. We just need to concentrate on getting you better."
Bella dropped her eyes to their joined hands. Jacob sounded so certain that she was somehow magically going to get better. He wouldn't consider the thought that this was it for her. That she had used up her nine lives. Look how many times she had come close to dying. The first had been Tyler's truck careering into her. The second had been those guys in Port Angeles with bad intentions. There was James, Victoria, the newborn battle. The list went on and on. Edward used to say she attracted trouble; he became obsessed with keeping her safe. But all these things had happened right here, in Forks. When she was living in Phoenix she'd had the odd accident or two but nothing like the catastrophe her life had become since returning to live with Charlie. It was all down to the supernatural. She wasn't meant to live in this world.
It was something Bella had been thinking about a lot lately. She had always thought that imprinting was a bad thing. It took away a person's choice. But now she wasn't so sure. You had to be a special type of person to live this life; you had to possess certain attributes like Emily and Kim. They completed Sam and Jared and gave them the unconditional support they needed to survive. But what had she ever brought Jacob, trouble that's what. She had been a burden then and she was a burden now. It was the reason she hadn't contacted him for help and called her dad instead. She hadn't wanted to drag him down again.
"What are you thinking about so hard?" Jacob asked as he watched the play of emotions cross her pretty face.
Bella raised her eyes to his. They were full of guilt. There was nothing like facing your mortality to force you to question everything you had done and to accept the harm you had caused. She knew that her selfish choices had caused a lot of pain to good people. The same people who were again risking their lives on her behalf. But the person she had hurt most of all was Jacob. Despite her past actions he was still her staunchest supporter. He saw something in her that was worth saving. Bella would be eternally grateful for that. She took his hand in both of hers and then placed his fingers over her heart. It beat sluggishly in her chest. All the time she saw him watching her with a curious expression, wondering what was going on in her head.
"I am so sorry, Jacob." Bella apologised with all the sincerity she could muster. She felt so damn tired. It was like her life was draining away bit by bit and that every second that passed took another piece with it.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Jacob replied earnestly.
"No, that's not true." Bella protested weakly. She kept her hand over his, pressing his fingers into her cold skin. "I have caused so much hurt and pain to so many people. You included." She gazed into his dark eyes as tears began to well in hers. "I am so ashamed of everything I've done, but I am so grateful that despite it all you still care about me."
Jacob felt a lump lodge in his throat. He raised his free hand and cupped her cheek. He watched as the blood flooded to her face, turning her cheeks rosy and reducing the translucency of her skin. She looked so beautiful in that moment but so fragile. His emotions were getting the better of him and he found it difficult to speak.
"I don't think you ever understood how much I love you, Bells." Jacob said thickly. He dipped his head breaking their intense stare as he tried to search for the right words to express himself.
"Jake…."
"No, let me talk now." Jacob raised his head again and met her glistening eyes. This time he allowed her to see the depths of his feelings for her. He had held back and kept them hidden since her return. He knew how much she was suffering and didn't want her put under any additional pressure. But something had shifted. Bella's heartfelt apology was like a balm to his soul. It soothed the hurt from her constant rejections in the past. They were beyond that now. This was a different life. They were different people. Jacob didn't want to hide how he felt anymore. "I promised you once that I would fight for you." He continued.
Bella's lips trembled as the memory came back to her for once with surprising clarity. She saw him as he had been then, lying on this same bed, badly injured, still doing his best to comfort her even as she bid him a painful goodbye. "I said until my heart stops beating." She whispered.
"Yeah." Jacob caressed her cheek with his thumb. The colour flooded to her skin wherever he touched it. "And I told you…maybe even then." A sad smile crossed his handsome face. "I meant it, Bells. I'll always love you. Even you if you were one of them I'd still love you…and if you needed me I would be there for you."
Bella gasped at the enormity of what he was confessing. Even if she had turned he would still choose to love her, he would sacrifice everything he believed in to be there for her if she needed him. He was offering his heart and soul to her, still. "My Jacob." Bella let the tears fall. She shifted awkwardly as she rose onto her knees. He was still holding her cheek. Bella smiled softly, reaching out to grab his shirt so she could tug him closer. His eyes never left hers the whole time. "I don't deserve you." She faltered. "I'll always need you…but most of all I love you."
Then she kissed him.
This was different from any other kisses they had shared. It lacked the intensity and desperation of the one they had shared on the mountain, it was much gentler, softer. It was a promise of better things to come. To Jacob it meant everything. This was Bella choosing to kiss him. Above everything, even after all the verbal apologies, nothing showed Jacob how much she really loved him than this. He cradled the back of her head as they continued to kiss, Bella was still kneeling in front of him, her hands resting on his shoulders as she leaned into his body. The taste of her, the feel of her mouth moving with his, Jacob was consumed with her. He became lost in the moment as his heart soared with hope mixed with happiness. He didn't want this feeling to stop.
But like everything in life all good things come to an end.
There was a gentle knock on the door. Jacob groaned as Bella jerked away from him. She fell back against the pillows, her body trembling with her exertions. The rosiness faded from her face as the blood drained away. Jacob sighed heavily, reluctantly getting up from the bed to open the door. He found Charlie waiting on the other side, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans and looking uncomfortable. Jacob wondered if the chief had guessed what had just happened between him and Bella. Normally Charlie would have knocked and walked straight in. This time he had hovered outside.
"Sorry to bother you, kid. Um…Old Quil's here. He wants to talk to you." Charlie smiled sheepishly. "I'll go and sit with Bells while you're gone." He patted Jacob on the shoulder as he passed.
Jacob frowned, wondering why the elder was back again. He hadn't been able to help before. Unless he had actually come up with something new. Before he left Jacob turned to look at Bella one last time. Her eyes were bright, lambent as she gazed back at him. She smiled shyly, giving him a slight wave. Charlie looked between them astutely. He scratched his chin, giving them both a knowing look as he watched Jacob leave the room.
"Let's go for a drive." Old Quil said without waiting for a response. He led the way out of the house.
Jacob followed behind, wondering where the elder was going to take him. "Where are we going?" He asked reluctantly as he climbed into Old Quil's truck.
"You'll see." The elder replied cryptically. He started the engine and pulled away down the dirt track. He then turned onto the road leading out of La Push. It wasn't until they were halfway to Forks that he spoke again. "I need your help, Jacob."
"With what?" Jacob asked dubiously. Quil had mentioned that he was worried about his grandfather. The elder had been acting oddly the past few days. Quil thought that his grandfather's age was finally catching up with him. This only made Jacob feel more wary.
Old Quil seemed to sense Jacob's ambivalence. He looked at him keenly before returning his attention to the road. They were now past Fork's small high street and following the main road right out of town. The forest encroached on either side of the road, the tall trees standing guard like silent sentinels. "This isn't my way. I have never interfered before. This is a new feeling for me."
Jacob had no idea what the old man was wittering on about. He was regretting coming along for the ride. "Interfering in what exactly?" He questioned the elder in concern.
"This body is weak." Old Quil continued as he glanced down at his slender frame. He then looked at Jacob again, taking in his broad shoulders and muscular physique. His expression was admiring. This made Jacob feel even more uncomfortable. "I was built like you once." The elder continued, chuckling.
Jacob frowned. In all the old photographs he had seen of Old Quil as a young man none of them showed him built like a bodybuilder. He had always leaned to the thin side. This conversation was confusing and Jacob began to believe that Quil was right to be worried about his grandfather.
The elder could read Jacob easily. He knew his young ancestor was questioning his sanity. Old Quil couldn't blame him. But after bonding with Bella and seeing her memories and watching how she had suffered. He knew he couldn't sit back anymore and let fate take its course. Carlisle Cullen had overstepped the mark. He was pure evil. It was time he was dealt with. But the elder knew he couldn't confront the coven leader in this weak old body. No, he needed a stronger one, one that contained the wolf. Jacob was his direct descendent. He was strong, both mentally and physically. His wolf was the strongest and biggest in the pack.
Jacob was unaware of the old man's thoughts. Old Quil had turned down a narrow lane. Jacob knew where this was heading. The Cullens mansion wasn't too far away. "Why are you taking us here?" He demanded.
The elder didn't answer right away. He drove down the lane for a few miles before he pulled the truck into the midst of a grove of trees. He switched the engine off. The resounding silence was deafening. It was now or never. Old Quil climbed out of the truck, knowing that Jacob would follow. He walked over to the tallest tree and stood beneath it. Jacob approached him slowly, his face wary. "I told you that I needed your help." Old Quil said again.
"Help with what?" Jacob glanced around the grove of trees as if expecting an ambush.
"I have never taken over a body while the soul still resides inside. It is forbidden. But these are desperate times and I have already broken with tradition." The elder began to circle Jacob, who was staring at him like he had gone mad. "I am sorry to do this to you but once we are joined you will see and understand everything."
"You're crazy." Jacob's nostrils flared as he stepped away from the old man. "Let me drive you back home." He offered as he tried to change tack and get the elder to show some rationality. "You're not well."
"I can assure you I am perfectly well." Old Quil replied grimly. He was in front of Jacob now. "Don't fight me, Jacob." The elder's voice began to deepen. Jacob stared at him, too stunned to move. He could finally sense the power lying beneath the elder's weak body. "You know who I am, Jacob." Old Quil intoned as he finally showed his true face. A faint glow began to emanate from the old man's body. He raised his eyes and hands in the air. "I AM TAHA AKI." His deep baritone boomed amongst the trees. "I AM THE FIRST, I WILL BE THE LAST." His tone softened as he dropped his gaze from the heavens and looked directly into Jacob's eyes. "And you my son are going to help me."
Jacob reverently slid Old Quil's lifeless body along the bench seat of the truck. The elder's skin was still warm but wouldn't remain so for long. He only had a short window of time before Old Quil's body began to deteriorate and would no longer be able to be used as a host. He shut the truck's door and locked it. Jacob looked around, revelling in the feel of his young body. He flexed his arms and began to limber up as if training for a fight. Yes, he could feel the adrenaline flowing through his veins. His muscles rippled under his tan skin as he bobbed and weaved against an invisible opponent. After a moment he became still and closed his eyes. He began to commune with his wolf, asking its permission to inhabit its body for a short time. The russet wolf submitted to its master, baying with excitement at the prospect of the fight ahead. Jacob's eyes opened again, they were dark, and the irises almost coal black. A faint yellow tinge circled the edges. Jacob and Taha Aki were of one mind.
It was time….
Jacob didn't hide. He strode right out into the open, demanding that Carlisle Cullen come out into the light. The huge mansion loomed in front of him as his bare feet made no sound on the gravel driveway. The tall panes of glass reflected his image hundreds of times as he approached. His anger was simmering at a low boil as he demanded for Carlisle to come out and face him. The vamp doctor was taking his time, showing himself up for the coward that he was.
"JUST YOU AND ME." Jacob roared. "GET OUT HERE."
A tense moment passed before there were signs of movement. The front door opened and three figures emerged. The sun was high in the sky. It was noon. The lead figure, his blonde hair ruffling in the wind, walked slowly down the steps leading to the drive. His golden brown eyes were hard, unforgiving. A scowl marred his handsome features. There was no sign of the charming doctor that so enthralled others. Edward Cullen and Esme hovered in the doorway. Carlisle had already ordered them to keep their distance. Although this was hard for Edward as he laid eyes on his hated rival.
"You are breaking the treaty, Jacob Black." Carlisle snarled as he stopped beneath the shadow of the tall mansion.
"STEP OUT INTO THE LIGHT, COWARD." Jacob commanded defiantly. "OR ARE YOU AFRAID YOU WILL BURN IN THE SUN?"
"You have no right to come here making demands. You are on shaky ground. You kidnapped my son's sick wife and we came back here to claim her." Carlisle retorted.
Jacob ignored Carlisle's posturing. His hands curled into fists and his eyes narrowed. "COME OUT INTO THE LIGHT BLOODSUCKER BEFORE YOU FORCE ME TO DRAG YOU OUT."
Carlisle licked his lips furtively. He glanced behind at his mate and adopted son. Esme was whimpering. She had a hand over her mouth. Edward rested his hand on Esme's shoulder, his keen gaze drinking everything in. He was trying to read Jacob's mind but he couldn't penetrate his thoughts. He didn't understand how Jacob was doing it. Something was off here. This wasn't the insolent young pup he remembered.
Jacob was sick of waiting. He darted forward, moving so fast that his body was blurred. He caught hold of Carlisle by the roots of his thick blonde hair and began to drag him forward. Carlisle snarled, grappling with Jacob's arm as he tried to stop him from pulling him out of the protection of the mansion's shadows. "You will regret this." He cursed. "I will make you pay."
Instead of coming to help his mentor Edward stayed rooted in place. His eyes flicked between Jacob and Carlisle. His adopted father didn't sound like himself. He was acting totally out of character. He kept his hand clamped on Esme's shoulder, stopping her from running to help her mate. Why was Carlisle so afraid to go out into the direct sun? There were no witnesses to be afraid of.
Jacob used all his physical and mental strength to haul Carlisle Cullen out into the centre of the driveway. The sun beamed down on them both, highlighting Jacob's smooth tan skin and making Carlisle's sparkle. The myriad diamonds shimmered on his face as Jacob forced the coven leader onto his knees with the strength borne of two spirit warriors. He tangled his fingers in Carlisle's hair and yanked his head back, exposing the vamp doctor's face to his scrutinising gaze.
It was then that he faltered. Jacob's arm shook as he stared down into the demon's eyes. A demon he recognised as the sun showed him what was hidden within. "Impossible." He whispered hoarsely.
Carlisle's lips drew back over his poisonous teeth as a vicious laugh bubbled in his throat. "You see me now, do you?"
"Utlapa." Jacob said in disbelief as he felt the power of his old enemy's soul vibrate underneath Carlisle Cullen's hardened skin. "You were dead. Banished forever and forbidden to take refuge in another human host."
Carlisle laughed maniacally. "You always were so tied to the old traditions and so set on the natural path. Back then it was to prove your undoing and will be so again." He suddenly rose to his feet, his cold fingers digging into Jacob's hot skin. "I am not inside a human host. This carcass died centuries ago, only the soul resides. But Carlisle Cullen was a weak fool. He believes in peace and tranquillity. He's a saviour, a healer. It was easy to take control of him. It meant that I still retained all his medical knowledge. I had access to things I would never have believed, allowing me to do things I could only ever dream of." His eyes hardened. "I knew you had come back, but you were well hidden in the human host you had chosen. We never crossed paths until now."
Jacob was losing control. Utlapa was gaining strength with each passing second. They grappled, both snarling, cursing until Utlapa/Carlisle managed to escape Jacob's hold on him. "It seems you've decided to break the rules yourself, old friend." He sneered. "It will make my vengeance all the sweeter."
"Why?" Jacob roared, his breathing ragged. "What do you hope to gain?"
"You mean the great Taha Aki hasn't figured it out yet?" Utlapa laughed again. "You've been searching for her spirit for years. She was right there, buried deep inside her. Two souls sharing one body, but there isn't enough room for two is there, Taha. Eventually one must win and one must die. Which one?" He taunted. "Bella Swan or Cassiopeia, your soul mate. Your third wife." His eyes sparked with mischief as he watched Jacob/Taha Aki stagger. "Yes, he's fighting you now isn't he, old friend. Your young ancestor will do anything to save the woman he loves, but then so will you. One soul lives to be reborn the other soul shrivels away and dies forever. The pendulum is swinging, Taha."
Jacob's body staggered back and fell as Jacob's soul fought with Taha Aki's for dominance. Bella was dying and he had to go and save her. He was no longer in tune with his ancient ancestor. He could feel Taha Aki's rage at his old enemy and his longing to save his soul mate, who was residing deep inside Bella, using her as a human host to hide from Utlapa. One would die and be gone forever and Jacob was damn sure it wouldn't be Bella.
A/N-thanks for reading! Confused! I'm not surprised, LOL ;) Read up about Utlapa on Twilight Saga Wiki if you need more info on who he was. Who will win this battle of the souls? Jacob or Taha, Bella or Cassiopeia (Taha Aki's third wife-I made up the name). What of Utlapa who is residing in Carlisle Cullen's body. Is the good doctor still inside? What will Edward do or Esme? Eeek….so many questions my dear readers. Until next time…