Merry Christmas!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Unfortunate Encounter

Headache.

Naruto never knew a true headache until that moment. It was horrible - a fuzzy and simultaneous stabbing sensation as though someone were suffocating her brain with a kunai-lined pillow. All she wanted to do was sink back into the blissful darkness of sleep, but the more she tried to force herself to sleep, the more quickly she awakened. Naruto shifted and felt the grassy floor beneath her. Upon opening her eyes, the colors of Mount Myoboku blurred together in an swirling cacophony of awfulness.

Naruto moaned, and moments later, a large orange toad hopped into her field of vision. Never before had Naruto wished that orange weren't so bright, but at the moment, she was all set to wish the color out of existence.

"Wuh-ter," she whispered hoarsely. Moments later, the lip of a wooden cup was pressed to her mouth. Naruto sucked eagerly on the liquid, but her mouth was so dry she could barely swallow. She ended up choking and spitting out more water than she managed to drink.

Kami, this headache is awful. Fuzzball, why aren't you healing me? Kurama? When she received no response, Naruto entered her mindscape and found that her incorporeal body felt the effects of the alcohol much less strongly. She could even move without wanting to kill herself, and move she did. What was once a sewer-like basement was now a forest, and instead of having to slosh through water, Naruto trod on a grassy floor. She walked through the forest to the lake where the demon fox liked to sleep. Sure enough, there he was, curled into a ball with his head resting on his paws. Kurama?

One large red opened and tried to focus on Naruto. I'm going to kill you,he said shortly, but his words were somehow...muddled.

How come?

The Kyuubi tried to stand up to swipe an angry paw at Naruto, but the fox teetered on its legs and fell over. In resignation, Kurama closed his eyes and curled up miserably. Alcohol affects your chakra coils - and by extension, me - as well.

No way. You got trashed, too? Naruto would have laughed until her sides hurt, but even the thought of laughing made her head pound.

I was challenged and insulted in the same sentence. I refused to be beaten by an ill-mannered toad. Kurama said the last word as though it were a piece of scum stuck to his paw. And you were quite eager yourself, so eager that you starting pouring the drinks once Gamabunta became too unsteady. You, Naruto, are what they call a guzzler.

Geez. That bad, huh? Why didn't you tell me to stop?

I tried. Your response was 'Kuuuu-baka-rama no baka baka baaaaakaaaaaaaa. Don't be such a baka baby fox.' When you weren't yelling about your breasts or lack of other parts, your favorite words were 'baka,' 'snake shit,' and 'Uchiha fuckers.'

I've got a very dirty drunk mouth, don't I? Try as she might, Naruto couldn't remember anything after Gamabunta had toppled over.

Indeed, and now I've got this monstrous headache... I'm going back to sleep. When I awaken, I will teach you the consequences of pissing off the greatest of the nine bijuu.

Naruto pulled out of her mindscape before Kurama could come up with more creative threats. She was thankful that the demon fox would have to stop short of killing her, but if Kurama had as bad a headache as Naruto then she deserved whatever punishment the fox meted out.

"You all right, Naruto?" asked Gamakichi when he saw her eyes open again.

"I feel like crap."

"Yeah, I kinda expected you to sleep all day, but I guess you've got the fox to help out. Man, pop'll be ticked when he wakes up with you already up and gone."

"Heheh, he should know never to challenge a jinchuriki." The only, absolutely only, good thing about this morning was emerging from her first drinking bash victorious. She would brag about it once the world stopped spinning. "Can I have some more water?" she asked blearily.

Gamakichi lifted the same wooden cup to her lips. Strange. The water was refreshing but at the same time...wrong. It tasted weird. Well, her whole mouth felt funny, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that her sense of taste was off. As long as ramen stayed the same, everything else would be fine.

Glancing around to see just where she was lying, Naruto noticed a peculiar change in the landscape. Off to the right, there was a large patch of crushed giant mushrooms and broken leaves. "What happened over there?"

"You happened," Gamakichi replied shortly. "Fukasaku-oji-san is pissed but mostly at pops, not you."

"Serves him right," she said in an unforgiving mood. "He wouldn't stop pouring me drinks."

"Which you kept drinking."

Naruto massaged her brow in an attempt to stave off the headache. "Yeah, I had a lot on my mind. How does obaa-chan do this every day?"

Gamakichi snorted, "Even she could never drink as much as you did last night, and you outdid three of the great toads."

Naruto twisted her lips into a semblance of a grin. "Where is everybody?"

"They're sleeping. You kept every toad on the mountain awake with your god-awful singing. Erm, excuse me, serenading."

"Eh?"

"You kept insisting that you weren't singing, you were serenading us to sleep, and you wouldn't stop no matter how much we told you to shut up."

"What did I sing?" she asked, morbidly curious.

"Something about snake shit and Uchiha fuckers. Don't tell m'pop I repeated those words...once he could hop again, he'd have my froggy behind doing hopping jacks for the rest of my life."

"Your secret is safe with me," said Naruto, closing her eyes and wishing for the ever elusive world of dreams and oblivion.

"Erm," said Gamakichi, seeing that she was about to go back to sleep, "I'm supposed to take you back when you wake up, and you're awake, so -"

"That means I have to move," she groaned. Even lying still, it felt like the world was spinning, but she didn't protest when Gamakichi extended his long, pink tongue. Warm and moist, the tongue wrapped around Naruto firmly, lifted her off the ground, and drew her towards Gamakichi's open mouth. Bleh, she thought, grimacing, I thought I'd gotten used to this. It wasn't like the toad was slobbery or anything, but still, it made her feel a little queasy...oh wait, that was nausea from her hangover.

She was stored in the glorious darkness of Gamakichi's mouth when Naruto muttered, "M'stomach feels weird."

"Ip oo bomit in my bouf, I will bweak ow contwact." His voice sounded garbled since he was speaking with a human on his tongue.

While Naruto turned her thoughts away from the tightness in her stomach, the giant toad hopped with his passenger to the portal well connected to Konoha and roused one of the grumpy messenger toads. The much smaller green toad disappeared down the well while Naruto contemplated just how upset Gamakichi would be if she did, in fact, lose control of her stomach.

Thankfully, only a few minutes later, Naruto felt the familiar tug on her body - not an unpleasant pull, just a strange feeling around her navel - that signified she was pulled into a space-time jutsu. Then, Gamakichi's loud voice sounded in Naruto's ears. "Er, the Uchiha is here, and he looks angry."

Naruto groaned as Gamakichi opened his mouth and extended his tongue with her wrapped in it. Dreading the bright light that would hit her eyes and intensify her headache, Naruto waited several long moments before opening her eyes. When she did, they fell upon the dark-haired shinobi, and Naruto realized that Gamakichi was wrong.

Sasuke wasn't angry. Sasuke was livid.

"Where. Have. You. Been?" he hissed.

Naruto struggled to stand while she looked longingly at her apartment complex, imagining her bed inside of it. "Heh, teme, it seems pretty obvious -"

"Are you out of your mind?!"

"Could you not speak so loudly," whispered Naruto hoarsely, covering her ears as she leaned against Gamakichi for support.

"You have been missing for more than twenty hours!"

Sure enough the sun was high in the sky. It was afternoon in Konoha. "Geez, teme, were you so worried about me that -"

"Che," he scoffed derisively. "More like I didn't want to answer a bunch of stupid questions from the interrogation squad. I was the last to see you, you know. They suspected me of knocking you out and shipping you off to see Orochimaru."

Naruto paused. "Those would be stupid questions seeing as how there's no way in hell you could beat me."

Sasuke would have retorted angrily, but an ANBU wearing a bird mask appeared before them in a whirlwind of leaves. Biting his tongue to keep from shouting at the infuriating blonde, Sasuke turned to the ANBU and said, "Inform Hokage-sama that Uzumaki Naruto is safe."

"Very well. Hokage-sama will expect to see Naruto-sama in...an hour," Bird said, taking in Naruto's hungover appearance. "You should clean her up first."

The ANBU vanished before Sasuke could protest. Why was it his job?!

Gamakichi cleared his throat, "Erm, well then, I guess I'll leave you with the Uchiha. Bye-bye, Naruto." He disappeared in a poof, and with the sudden loss of support, Naruto fell to the ground, cursing every giant toad she had ever met.

Sasuke eyed the miserable blonde who lay where she'd fallen groaning and making no attempt to stand. "Get up," Sasuke ordered without pity.

"Can't," came the muffled response.

"The Hokage expects you in one hour."

"Wanna sleep." And drink water. Lots of water.

"No time." Sasuke nudged her with his foot. Naruto only groaned in irritation. Sasuke nudged harder to no avail. With a dear-god-why-me sigh, Sasuke bent down and pulled Naruto's face towards him. He would put the girl under a genjutsu, just a small one. Enough to make her forget that she was hungover. Enough to get her moving without resistance. When Naruto's face was directly in front of his, he waited for her eyes to open, and they did, slowly and miserably. So miserably, in fact, that she looked almost...sick. Her face was pinched tightly, and she was clutching her stomach as though she might -

Naruto belched. Loudly.

Sasuke's face contorted in disgust, which soon morphed into murderous fury.

"Oh," Naruto said in surprise, "that tightness in my stomach was just - ack!"

Sasuke grabbed the blonde by her orange jacket and, barely taking aim, threw her towards the open window of her apartment. She sailed through it and hit her bedroom wall with a thud. Following her trajectory, Sasuke leaped into Naruto's room and found the girl crumpled in a disoriented heap on the floor.

"Teme, I'm gonna kill you for that...once I can stand." But that would have to wait because Naruto was crawling slowly to her bed. Sleep. She must have sleep. And peace and quiet. And darkness. Kami, she wished it were nighttime. Naruto had only just made it to her bed when she felt herself lifted off the floor.

Sasuke was carrying her, not princess-style, but holding her away from his body as far as he could manage. Naruto knew it was pointless to fight him in her current state, so she gathered her hungover wits to get her revenge in a different way.

When Sasuke had grabbed her the first time, more than her jacket had been rearranged. "Urg," she said, tugging at the material on her chest and making an exaggerated show of it. "This stupid bra Sakura gave me itches, and it's too small. Heheh, when I told her that, her face twitched. I bet she would've punched me through a wall if she weren't worried about my health. I really can't help it, you know? It's not my fault that my boobs are so much bigger -"

In response to the blonde's jabbering, Sasuke dropped Naruto fully-clothed into the shower and turned on the icy cold water.

"Yikes! Damn you, teme!" Inwardly, she was laughing at the expression on Sasuke's face. It was a pale, pinched look as though he were trying to ignore her, be angry, and not blush all at once.

"It's your own damn fault." Sasuke slammed the bathroom door on his way out. He had every right to be angry. That burp was disgusting, and Sasuke had gotten a face full of it. Plus, he hadn't slept in more than forty eight hours, courtesy of an idiotic boy-turned-girl who disappeared for hours on end to get wasted with toads. Even worse was Sasuke's reaction to her disappearance. There wasn't a leaf in Konoha he hadn't overturned in his search for her, and when he'd alerted the Hokage, her eyes had mirrored Sasuke's fear - the fear that Orochimaru had spirited the young jinchuriki away. If he had the Rinnegan, it stood to reason he might seek to control the bijuu as Madara had done only two years before.

Tsunade had called for the best tracker ANBUs who pinpointed Naruto's last known location to her apartment. Then there was no trace of her. As it was highly unlikely that even Orochimaru could kidnap the jinchuriki so stealthily, the prevailing theory was that Naruto had, in fact, been reverse summoned by the toads, but when Tsunade tried to contact them, her message was never answered.

They were probably all dead drunk by that point, growled Sasuke inwardly.

Since they had no proof of foul play and no trail to follow, they chose to go with protocol and wait the requisite forty eight hours before declaring her missing. It had been a long and restless night for Sasuke, and the following morning was worse when there was still no sign of the blonde. Then, when he had seen the small, green toad hopping toward Naruto's apartment and when Naruto herself had appeared, the relief he had felt was overwhelming. So much so that he had masked his relief with anger. In many ways, it was a much easier emotion to deal with.

With these thoughts running through his mind, Sasuke threw some clothes in the bathroom. "Put these on once your done. I swear if you come out of there undressed, I will electrocute you." He might do it anyways.

Once she'd gotten over the shock of cold water, Naruto lay in the shower, letting the water spray down on her. When she opened her mouth, the water pooled in it and ran down the sides of her cheeks, soothing the stinging dryness. For some time, she marinated in the cool relief the water brought. She might have even fallen asleep, but far too quickly, a loud knock sounded on the bathroom door.

"You've been in there more than half an hour. Get out."

Stupid teme. She only wanted a few more minutes -

Sasuke banged on the door loudly, which did not help Naruto's headache.

"All right already," she complained, loud enough for Sasuke to hear. The banging ceased, and Naruto turned off the water. The sooner she saw Tsunade, the sooner she could come back here to sleep. Minutes later, Naruto stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed in a black shirt and baggy orange pants.

Something inside Sasuke lurched unexpectedly.

Her normally sunshine hair was dark and mussed from the shower. It hung wet at her sides, water droplets slipping off the long strands one by one. Her lids were heavy, but the startling blue of her eyes peaked out from under them. The too-large clothes made her appear smaller by comparison, and as she rubbed her sleepy eyes, a yawn broke from her mouth. Wet and sleepy as she was, something about Naruto was...unbearably cute.

With a start, Sasuke jerked himself from the inexplicable reverie. To distract himself, he snapped at the blonde, "Do something with all this hair!"

Instead Naruto walked to her bed and flopped on it. "Too tired. You do it."

She was pouting. Naruto was pouting. Did she purposefully poke out her lower lip, knowing that it made Sasuke want to -

What - what the hell?! he roared at himself, stopping that thought in its tracks. With a furious swipe of his hand, Sasuke grabbed trip cord from his weapons pouch on his pants. He moved towards Naruto with decisive steps, determined to banish whatever strange impulse had polluted his mind. After cutting a short length of the cord with a kunai, he reached for her hair and bundled it tightly in his fist. He wrapped the wire around her hair and tied it in an intricate knot that Naruto would find impossible to untie. He flipped her prone body and did the same to the other side.

There. He surveyed his work. They were crooked and messy, but they were ponytails. And he had no desire to continue stroking her hair. That was just some random, one-time phenomenon. He had proven it to himself. With a satisfied nod, he reached for the mattress of Naruto's bed and flipped it, throwing Naruto with a howl to the floor.

"Get up," Sasuke said brusquely. "It's time to see the Hokage."

... ... ...

Tsunade sucker punched the blonde, and Naruto flew backwards into the wall of the office - at the approval of Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi.

Naruto groaned, "That's twice in one day." What exactly made them want to throw the hungover girl into a wall? Did they enjoy seeing her in pain? Were they sadists?

"The next time you disappear," said Tsunade firmly, "I will sentence you to three months of D-rank missions."

Yep. Sadists.

"I was with the toads," protested Naruto weakly from the floor. Can't a girl get drunk with her summons without retribution?

"Yet you failed to mention that you, our jinchuriki and future Hokage, would be away for an extended period of time while a powerful enemy of Konoha was on the loose."

"Eh, gomenasai," said Naruto more humbly. "I thought I mentioned it once a while back." And then she had completely forgotten to tell anyone yesterday. In her defense, there had been plenty else to occupy her mind.

"Don't let it happen again." Once Tsunade was convinced that Naruto was properly castigated, she smirked. "So how was it? You look like hell."

"I beat Gamabunta. But he said I was cheating, what with Kyuubi and all speeding up my metabolism or whatever. I still beat him, though, and Gamaken who passed out 'ungracefully' first and Gamahiro who might've beat Bunta if Bunta hadn't whacked him over the head with his pipe. Seems me and Bunta got into a fight after that and, er, did some...remodeling."

"I don't whether to be horrified or proud of you. Either way, here's your birthday present from me." Tsunade reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a clear bottle of nasty looking green goop.

"Ah, what's that, obaa-chan?" she asked uneasily.

"This is my secret to success. It's the ultimate hangover remedy."

"Does it taste as awful as it looks?"

"Yes, but the bad taste goes away more quickly than your headache."

"Good point. Well," Naruto said, taking the vile concoction, "bottoms up." She gagged only once before swallowing the entire contents of the bottle. "Gah. Bleh! Geez, how do you make something this awful?"

"Your words are already less muddled. It's amazingly effective, isn't it?"

The room came into focus as her headache dimmed. Naruto suddenly realized that she had been leaning on the desk for support and straightened. "Wow, this stuff's amazing!"

"Of course it is. I made it," said Tsunade. "Sake and this remedy help me get through all the damn paperwork, and when I go out drinking with the council members, they never can figure out how I'm back to normal the next day. Oh, how I love seeing them with god-awful hangovers!"

While Tsunade laughed, the other shinobis eyed her uncertainly, and Naruto learned another effective method for dealing with the council. After Tsunade quieted, she said, "Maybe we can have a match next time, Naruto." Wouldn't that be something? To beat the Kyuubi would be quite the feather in her cap.

"As long as I get more of that stuff -" Naruto indicated the hangover remedy "- then you're on!"

Tsunade smiled in challenge. "I look forward to it."

"Ahem," coughed Sakura indiscreetly. "Shishou, didn't you have a reason for calling Naruto here?"

"Of course. Naruto," said Tsunade, suddenly business-like, "I went through your father's possessions in the Hovel last night and -" She picked up a book on her desk "- I found something that might interest you. It appears to be a journal."

Naruto's ready grin had slipped back into place as soon as she drank Tsunade's remedy. But now, the grin faltered as her attention riveted on the journal.

With a trembling hand, Naruto reached out and took the little book. The cover was a cool leather that was dyed dark green. A single leaf was etched into its spine, marking the journal as 'made in Konoha.' Naruto imagined that many such journals could be found in the market, but this one was special. She held the journal as though it were a sacred artifact. Her father's journal. Her father's thoughts and memories in her hands. A quivering thumb reached around the cover to open the -

The moment she applied pressure, inked lines appeared, seeming to draw themselves on the dark green leather. The lines connected and formed a defined figure. It was no ordinary picture. It was a seal.

Tsunade nodded at the journal, "I called Kakashi here to take a look at that seal, but he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. You'll have to take it to the Intelligence Division. Ask for the seal specialist named Hideki -"

Naruto barely listened to Tsunade's instructions. Her sole focus was the little book in her hands. Glowing a soft blue, the seal was made of four whirlpools, one in each corner, surrounding a central pentagram. Studying the seal carefully, Naruto traced the outline of the pentagram - a five-pointed star enclosed by a circle. Ordinarily, it would signify the five elements were used in the seal, so ordinarily, it would take the five elements to undo the seal. Her gaze moved to the whirlpools. They were her father's signature according to Geezer-Sage, but in this case...

Tsunade was still speaking. "- is one of the Yondaime's seals, of course, so it may be several days, even weeks, before it's cracked. Tell Hideki to make this a top priority."

"No need for that," Naruto murmured absentmindedly. She raised one finger, which lit with blue chakra, and placed it on the top right point of the star - the traditional location for wind. With a small smile, Naruto glanced again at the whirlpools. Clockwise, it would be. The points of the star rotated as Naruto dragged her finger around the circle. Grinning in triumph, she gave a final quick swipe of her finger.

The star kept spinning faster and faster until -

Click.

The seal unlocked.

Naruto barely noticed the Hokage's jaw dropping in surprise. Kakashi had managed to keep his mouth closed, but his eyes bugged.

Staring at the now-open journal, Kakashi stammered, "How - how did you do that?"

"Hm? Oh, the whirlpools each ended in a different place. See?" Naruto pointed to the four whirlpools. "That's kinda weird if the whirlpools were there as only a signature. But if you draw a straight line from the center of each whirlpool to its end and mentally extend the line across the cover, then the four lines intersect at the location on the pentagram for wind."

"So - so you put your elemental chakra into -"

"No, just normal chakra."

"What? The pentagram signifies elemental chakra -

"That was a feint. The first key was wind's position on the pentagram, but if I had used the wind element, I bet I would have triggered another seal as a defensive mechanism."

"How could know that?" Kakashi demanded. "And you knew that you had to spin it, as well. How?"

Naruto tilted her head in thought. "I guess it was more instinct than anything else. Usually, with a lock-and-key seal like this you base your seals off of something you know. Something you're familiar with, so you will never forget how to unlock them. My father's signature jutsu, the Rasengan, is the most advanced shape manipulation jutsu that exists, but he was never able to combine it with an element." Naruto shrugged, "So I didn't add elemental chakra. The second and final key was -" She mimicked the tracing of the circle - "rotation."

Tsunade studied the seal once more. "But," she protested, "the whirlpools spin counter-clockwise, and you definitely turned the pentagram clockwise so -"

"That was the second trick. Rasengan is created when multiple chakra currents are forced in opposing directions. So I spun the star in the opposite direction of the whirlpools." Naruto nodded in satisfaction. "Two keys and two feints, a four-layered seal. Not bad for the old man, but he was no match for an Uzumaki! Ha ha ha!" Naruto put her hands on her hips and laughed in triumph while the other shinobis watched her in amazement.

Contrary to popular belief, Naruto had never been an idiot. Sure, her Academy grades were horrendous, but she had had little help from her teachers back then. They even sabotaged her education here and there, when they could get away with it, but years later in battle, she had shown that she was more than just a chakra powerhouse. It was her mental prowess that defeated several of the Paths of Pain, and it was remarkably quick thinking that turned the Juubi's strength into its greatest weakness.

Still, she had never shown such a natural aptitude for anything in her life as she did for seal work. She might just become a master of fuinjutsu, Tsunade realized. The first in Konoha since Jiraiya had died. But even Jiraiya would have needed some time to analyze the seal whereas Naruto had simply acted on instinct. That could be considered reckless impulsiveness...or genius.

Naruto flipped through the journal. Her father's script was neat and well-formed, unlike Naruto's own chicken scratch. There weren't entries written everyday; sometimes there were gaps of several months between entries, sometimes several in a single week. Later, Naruto would read each of them. Later, when she was alone without distractions. But for now, she needed to know why her father had turned her into a boy. Naruto saw several mentions of the Third Shinobi War and flipped forward.

Many pages later, her blue eyes caught sight of one word that had her glued to the page - pregnant. Naruto began to read.

... ... ...

April 2, XXX

Kushina's pregnant! I can't believe it! We're having a baby! I'm going to be a father! A father! Me! Kushina was so happy when she told me, glowing and bouncing around in excitement (the bouncing may not be good for the baby - I'll have to ask). She couldn't stop smiling and laughing for hours, and when she finally did stop it was only because she was having trouble swallowing her food. I confess to having difficulty eating as well.

This baby really is a miracle, reminding me never to give up. We suffered such immense losses in the Third War that at times it has seemed impossible to continue. But now the war is over. We are rebuilding, and life moves forward. Our child gives me such hope for a peaceful future, free of the hatred and malice that scars this shinobi world. As the Hokage of Konoha and as a father, I will ensure that the next generation knows the value of peace. They will know that the Will of Fire means more than protecting your loved ones, that a stranger and sometimes even an opponent are just as deserving of their protection, and by extending the hand of peace even to our enemies, we may in time halt this cycle of hatred. My child's generation will know the true meaning of the Will of Fire. I make it my mission.

In other news, I made Kushina swear on every beautiful strand of her red hair that she would NOT tell Jiraiya-sensei and Kakashi that I squealed like a girl when she told me the news. I would never live it down.

... ... ...

April 28, XXX

Kushina has had another check up with a medic, and all looks well! Our baby seems healthy and happy! Well, I assume it's happy - not like there's much to be unhappy about in its cushy, warm environment. (Kushina disparages when I refer to our baby as 'it.' In my defense, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, and it's too much trouble to say and write 'he or she' each time.) My smile is fading a little now as I remember that Kushina and I have already had two arguments today. Do all new parents have such difficulties?

For instance, the color of the baby's room. I wanted a nice, pale shade of green, perfect for a boy or a girl, that would symbolize our new little leaf in the Hidden Leaf Village. Kushina wanted vibrant yellow because the child is the sunshine of our lives. Makes sense, I guess, except...it's yellow. Such a finicky color. One shade off and it's like the vomit from one of the Inuzuka clan's dogs. She was not happy when I told her that. Why haven't I learned to keep my mouth shut? Blue and pink were out for obvious reasons, so I suggested a simple red like the color of Kushina's beautiful hair. I should have known better. The Red Hot Habanero made an appearance, and only her concern for the baby kept her from strangling me. I will have to hide the bruises around my neck before going to work tomorrow. Speaking of bruises, the next color Kushina tossed out was purple. Purple. I'm not joking. P-U-R-P-L-E. I flat out told her 'no' and had to use Hiraishin no Jutsu to escape her temper. I think it will be at least a week before she speaks to me again.

I don't even want to think about what it will be like when we have to choose a name.

... ... ...

May 5, XXX

Orange. The nursery will be orange. Kami, I hope our child doesn't hate me for this. I will have to explain that I spent hours - literally, hours - in the store finding the perfect shade of orange that was bright enough to suit Kushina but gentle enough that it wouldn't burn our eyes when we walked in the room. I'm making Kakashi help with the painting. The boy trains endlessly when he's not on a mission, like one possessed. I know why, of course. I only wish Rin and Obito were here to help as well.

... ... ...

May 12, XXX

As I was reading over my past entries (grinning like a fool because, yes, I'm going to be a father and Kushina is such a headstrong, wonderful woman), a certain phrase jumped out at me, sparking a memory - 'never give up.' It bothered me all day until, arriving home, I glanced at my bookshelf.

Now, most of what my sensei writes is forbidden in this house. With Kushina around, to bring home a copy of 'Icha Icha Paradise' would be...ill-advised. (Jiraiya-sensei tried once, and only escaped by jumping into Bunta's mouth.) However, there is one book, his first book, that even Kushina loves: 'Tales of a Gutsy Ninja.' I grabbed it from the bookshelf and ran to Kushina in excitement. Her eyes widened and a smile played on her lips.

'Naruto,' she said. 'We'll name our baby Naruto.'

There was no question, no argument. The only flicker of doubt I had was that it may not be a feminine enough name for a girl, but my worries soon eased. This was Kushina's child, after all. If it was a girl, she would certainly be a tomboy.

I cannot wait to meet you. Naruto.

... ... ...

July 7, XXX

I'm panicked. I admit it. I, the Yondaime Hokage, Konoha's Yellow Flash, am panicked. Kushina and I just returned early from the annual Tanabata festival due to an unfortunate encounter which alerted me to a terrible threat.

We arrived at the festival in good time. Lights were strung from the roofs and lampposts. Colorful streamers adorned the streets and stands. The entire village was alive with gaiety and vigor. I was proud to be the leader of a merry Konoha. It was more than an hour later, after several sticks of dango, that I realized that sometimes 'gaiety' and 'vigor' can be found in excess and that the heady combination is more often than not found in the youth of Konoha. Kushina and I witnessed a number of young people slipping away from their parents to rendezvous with a member of the opposite sex. And speaking of sex, most of them weren't far from it. They found cozy corners in the alleys to snuggle up with their crush. Kushina giggled, thinking the atmosphere of romance sweet, and reminded me that we had done the same not so many years before. I mostly ignored her chattering about the past because my mind was otherwise occupied.

In that moment, the realization hit me more sharply than any kunai. For the first time, I really understood. I. Am. Going. To. Be. A. Father. I am going to raise a child from newborn to toddler to teenager. Teenager, I say. Teenager!

Honestly, before tonight, I didn't care whether we had a boy or a girl. I thought a boy would be nice because I could teach him jutsus and weaponry and pass on the Will of Fire. I imagined Kushina bringing him to my office so he could see how awesome his dad was. (Yes, I've indulged in many such fantasies. Is that so wrong?) But a girl, well, I could do essentially all the same things with her as with a boy, and furthermore, she might be just like a little Kushina. I could have two Kushinas! At that moment, I was ready to insist that the baby be a girl. I was on my way to track down my unborn baby and tell her so when it dawned on me... two Kushinas. I love my wife dearly, but...two Red Hot Habaneros in my little house... I quickly backtracked and reconsidered. A boy with milder temper than my dear wife wouldn't be so bad after all. Thus, I returned to the happy state of being satisfied with either.

My happy state is gone. Because I am well and truly panicked. The frightening scenes I saw tonight have awakened me to nightmares I hadn't dreamed of. Things I hadn't considered before. Things I would have preferred NEVER to think about.

If we have a boy, I would raise him to be kind, respectful, and considerate towards the opposite gender, not a pervert like his godfather. But what if we have a girl? She would be beautiful like her mother, intelligent like her father. A fine kunoichi in every sense of the word, and she would go on missions with her team. My daughter alone with three males. Unsupervised! Someone. Would. Try. To. Steal. Her. From. Me. Some dreadful, awful boy would influence her in her most tender years, and my little girl would find herself victim to his impure machinations.

An hour into the festival I had begun to glare at every male child under the age of five. None were safe from me because my daughter was not safe from them. Now that I am back home and can think rationally, I realize that I may have gone a tad overboard. Kushina says that is an understatement. After all, several of the boys I glared at ran to their mothers wailing. Perhaps I should feel guilty that I do not, in fact, feel guilty. Whatever.

Then we encountered the Uchihas - Fugaku and his wife. Mikoto-san was pregnant, as well. Very pregnant, and Kushina simply gushed to her about the babies. I was speaking with Fugaku, exchanging pleasantries and the like, when I heard Mikoto-san say that they had chosen to learn the gender of their baby. And it was a boy.

My head whipped around so fast I think it'll have a crick for a week. I looked at the Uchiha woman. I looked at her stomach. I GLARED. The brat would be two months older than my daughter. They would play on the same playground, go through the Academy together, maybe even be on the same team as genin. The Uchihas had always been an attractive family. Fugaku and I were rivals in the academy, and he had even more fangirls than I did. His son was sure to take after him, just as talented and eye-catching. It was the worst thing I could imagine.

I didn't realize my glare was causing some mild alarm until Fugaku stepped closer to his wife and Kushina slapped me on the head.

'What seems to be the problem, Namikaze?' asked Fugaku in warning.

I think I may have blushed a little in embarrassment, but I was not to be dissuaded. I pointed my finger at Mikoto's stomach. 'I don't want your son within an INCH of my daughter.'

Silence reigned over our little group, and several heads of nearby villagers turned our way.

'M-minato,' Kushina said, recovering first, 'We don't even know if we're having a girl.'

'Oh,' said Fugaku coldly (I did not catch the little quirk in the right corner of his mouth, though Kushina mentioned it later), 'you are suggesting that my son isn't good enough for your daughter?'

I had already realized my mistake. As Hokage, it would not do to insult the head of the Uchiha clan, but still...as a father, I had a duty to protect my daughter. 'That was not my intention, Uchiha. I was merely setting some ground rules for our children. Er, in order to promote a healthy atmosphere.'

'Ground rules,' Fugaku mused. 'You will be a harsh father then?'

'I will be a prudent father,' I distinguished. 'No male interaction until she is able to see through their deceit and flattery. A handsome face is nothing but trouble.'

'Are you suggesting that your daughter will be as fluttery-eyed and vapid as the fangirls in the Academy?'

'No!' I was enraged, Hokage-hood forgotten. 'I'm suggesting that your son will make a play for my daughter!'

'I daresay my son will be able to capture the attention of any girl he wishes.'

'Naruto is off-limits!'

'Naruto, eh? Well, I think my son can do better than a girl named after a fish cake.'

'Why you -!'

'Minato!' Kushina had run out of patience. 'Stop embarrassing me! We're going home. Excuse us, please, Fugaku-san, Mikoto. We look forward to meeting your son.'

My wife grabbed me by the ear and frog-marched me back home. I heard titters from the gathered crowd of civilians and shinobis that grew into a roar once we were out of sight. I do believe that even the stoic Fugaku was laughing at me. I can see now that he was baiting me, but that does not lessen my panic.

My wife is rarely the voice of reason. For her to tell me to calm down and be reasonable is a bad omen. The worst omen. That is why I am certain that I will soon be the proud father of a beautiful girl and that the little Uchiha brat will one day torment her mercilessly. I cannot and WILL NOT allow it. I will see to it that my child is protected from his vile intentions. Now there's yet another reason why I am glad to be the Hokage. Once the Uchiha brat is under my jurisdiction, I will ensure that his every waking moment is haunted by blue eyes and sudden flashes of yellow. He will quickly learn that there is no escape from me.

Naruto, I have written out the whole of the affair so that one day you will appreciate what I go through for you, and now I must spend some time contemplating the best tactic to save you from the clutches of the Uchiha clan.

... ... ...

Naruto closed the diary with a snap. There were many more entries that Naruto would peruse after she had recovered, but for now, all she could do was pass the book silently to Kakashi, an unreadable expression on her face.

Kakashi took the journal hesitantly.

"Just read the July 7 entry," said Naruto impassively. "Sasuke, you'll want to read it, too."

As Naruto watched them read, she figured that the play of emotions across their faces was identical to what her own had been minutes before. When they had finished, they passed the journal on to Sakura and Tsunade who dove into it with teeming curiosity. Minutes later, they closed the book in a stupor.

Sakura was the first to speak. "He said that he would protect you from Sasuke if it was the last thing he did," she said with wide eyes, "and then...it was the last thing he did. He turned you into a boy! And I thought my dad was overprotective."

"My dad was insane!"

"They do say that the best shinobis have a streak of insanity," nodded Kakashi, "though I always thought that sensei was the exception."

"After Tanabata, he must have researched this type of seal. It's not something you can come up with on the spot. He planned this."

"I would venture a guess that sensei didn't actually plan to turn you into a boy. He expected to be alive to torment Sasuke, after all. I bet he just got the idea and then became curious about it."

Tsunade cleared her throat, and the shinobis turned to look at her. "It may not have only been that he wanted protect you from, ah, romantic overtures. After the scene with the Uchihas, it must have spread like wildfire over the village that the Hokage was having a girl, and since the Yondaime himself said it, it was more than a rumor. His enemies would be looking for a female infant. By concealing you as a boy, he may have given you the greatest protection possible in the months after he died." A sudden light of comprehension flashed in her eyes. "In fact, there -" Then the Hokage stopped abruptly and glanced at Naruto.

"In fact, what?" demanded Naruto.

Tsunade rubbed her brow. "You will take this the wrong way, Naruto."

"Just tell me!"

Giving the blonde a hard look, she continued with a frown, "After I went to the Hovel and found the journal, I reread some documents dated just after the Kyuubi attack, looking for any clues I might have missed. Now, remember that other nations knew that Kushina was our jinchuriki, just as we had descriptions of Killer Bee and a few of the other jinchurikis, and as you know, a jinchuriki's seal weakens only during childbirth. So once the Kages learned of the Kyuubi attack, they knew that the Hokage's daughter had been born. Iwa in particular hated and feared the Yellow Flash who had devastated their armies, so I'm certain that they gave top priority to assassinating or kidnapping any child of his." Tsunade sighed, and Naruto clenched her teeth, knowing they were coming to worst part. Tsunade's voice was heavy as she said, "Records of that day indicate that another child was born on October 10. Another girl."

A lead weight settled in Naruto's stomach.

"Three days later, she was killed."

"No," Naruto whispered in horror.

The Hokage could only nod.

"But - but she had a family! Surely the shinobi could see that she was their -"

"The assassin was caught. He was an Iwa spy posing in Konoha as a merchant. The girl was the child of a civilian family that the Yondaime was unusually friendly with. In retrospect, hiding the daughter of the Hokage in a civilian family where no shinobi would expect her to be would not have been a bad plan for your concealment."

"No," she whispered again.

"That is another reason you were put into an orphanage, Naruto. The Sandaime hoped you would be camouflaged with the other infants. If he or Kakashi or Jiraiya were to adopt you, it would have been too suspicious, and I see now that it would have given away your greatest protection. The enemy would have learned that you were a boy - or disguised as one at least."

"Which civilian family was it?"

"I knew you would blame yourself."

"Which family?"

Tsunade sighed. "The Ichirakus."

... ... ...

Too many things had happened. It was all too much. Naruto sniffled. Keep it together, Naruto. Just a little farther.

Turning down a street, she ran to a familiar front door and knocked on it incessantly until she heard footsteps coming closer.

When the door finally opened, she threw herself forward and wailed, "Iruka-sensei!"

The stunned Iruka was flustered beyond belief when a young woman collapsed in his arms, shaking with sobs.

Review please! I quite liked this chapter, and I hope you did too!