Heehee, Iruka turned out like Minato... Both have overactive imaginations :)
Complications
Iruka had a problem.
The problem had a name.
The name was Naruto.
The previous evening, an abominably wretched Naruto had flung herself in tears at Iruka. Bewildered and having no clue who the girl was, Iruka had tried to detach her from his jacket but in vain. The blonde had an iron grip, and the villagers who watched their interaction had keen eyes and loose lips. Then, as though the girl's knees had given out, she collapsed into his arms. In his surprise at the sudden weight, Iruka overcorrected, and he fell backwards into his house with the girl landing soundly on top of him. The ever-observant villagers noted with interest the new development in Iruka's supposedly eternal bachelorhood, and out of options, Iruka had kicked the door with his foot and closed it in their faces. With a vague sense of dread, he prepared himself for the onslaught of rumors that would soon spread. But first, the girl.
He had nudged her uncertainly, asking her if she was all right, and she had looked into his eyes. Blue eyes lined with red from tears looked to him for comfort, and all Iruka could do was gasp, "N-n-naruto?" It took the better part of three hours and numerous cups of tea before Iruka fully understood what had happened, which was due less to his own powers of comprehension and more to Naruto's garbled and entirely disjointed explanation.
He had sent Naruto to bed with assurances that everything would be okay and that she would feel much better in the morning after a full night's rest. Simple words, really, but coming from someone as trusted as Iruka, they were enough for Naruto to slumber peacefully.
It wasn't until the next morning when Iruka was in the kitchen making a traditional breakfast instead of ramen for Naruto that he discovered his new problem, but when he did, it wasn't so much a realization as it was a smack to his face or a punch to his gut. What happened was that a sleepy Naruto with bed head and little clothing had walked into the kitchen, and Iruka had really understood -
Naruto was a girl.
Naruto was an attractive girl.
Naruto had little sense of modesty.
Naruto had little regard for personal boundaries.
Naruto had entirely too many male comrades.
Thus, Iruka had a problem. As soon as word got out that Naruto, the hero of the Fourth Shinobi War and the Namikaze heir, was a girl, a swarm of suitors would appear with words as sweet as honey but as dangerous as poison.
Naruto was in trouble.
Iruka shooed Naruto back into the bedroom with an order to put on every article of clothing she had worn the previous day. It was at that time that Iruka came to a conclusion. She needed someone to educate her in the ways of womanhood. Someone who could teach her proper boundaries between men and women and convince her that wearing all her clothes was a necessity. Someone who could guide her in the ways of a kunoichi without corrupting her. Naruto needed a role model.
But who to trust with such a task? Sakura and Ino? No, no, they had matured since the war, but they were still teenagers. Who knew what things they might tell his impressionable Naruto. Things like attracting men and flirting and who knew what else! Well Iruka wouldn't have it. No teenagers. Anko? She was a strong kunoichi with a mind of her own, but those fishnets were so formfitting that men couldn't help but stare at her "assets." Well, Anko was constantly going on missions and wouldn't have time for Naruto anyways. Kurenai would be perfect! She was kind and gentle. She had excellent manners and dressed appropriately. She...she was an unwed mother...
Iruka gave himself a mental slap, knowing it was wrong of him to be judgmental. Kurenai was a wonderful kunoichi and an even better mother, but this was Naruto. His little sister. His daughter. His family.
And there were far too many unattached males in her vicinity for his liking.
The previous night, Naruto had left herself unguarded with Iruka. That was fine, seeing as Iruka had her best interests at heart, but what if Naruto's heedlessness extended to other men? What if she, in her naivety, encouraged her comrades with her proximity and openness?
The Hyuuga prodigy, Neji... He and Naruto were close friends. Hyuuga Hiashi would not be against bringing the daughter of the Yondaime into the fold. In fact, from the way Hiashi had been overturning old rules, Iruka was certain that he would welcome the unconventional union of a Hyuuga to such a prominent outsider. Neji might take Naruto for a walk one moonlit night, then stop to whisper in her ear, 'Naruto, it was you who freed me from my eternal prison. It was you who shone as a beacon in my despair. It was you who taught me to take fate into my own hands, and now I hope to take your hand in matrimony.
Iruka could just barf.
Then there was Inuzuka Kiba... Not the brightest of the lot, but neither was Naruto. They got along well. In fact, the two had been prank-buddies in their Academy days. He and Naruto had similar senses of humor and a teasing relationship, with one regularly insulting the other. But what if the "insults" had a deeper meaning? What if teasing turned to flirting?
Iruka would have to remind Naruto that she would stink like a dog for the rest of her life.
Sabaku Gaara... Sure, he was the Kazekage, and it would be quite unusual - well, more like set the precedent for a marriage between two Kages. But that would be the pitch! That would be Gaara's method of winning Naruto. Convince her that it was best for both Konoha and Suna. A permanent, unbreakable alliance. Naruto would do anything for Konoha. Anything! And she already had a unique connection with Gaara as only he among her friends could understand the pain of being a jinchuriki.
Perhaps Iruka could mention to Naruto how rarely they would get to see each other if she were constantly running off to Suna to be with her husband?
Rock Lee... He was fiery and - no, not a problem, and Iruka didn't bother to even consider Shino since Naruto routinely forgot the boy even existed.
The way Iruka saw it, there were many problems out there but only one real threat.
Uchiha Sasuke.
It would be all too easy for him to imprison Naruto. All he had to do was play the I'm-leaving-Konoha-unless-you-give-me-a-reason-to-stay card, and Naruto would move heaven and earth to keep the Uchiha by her side. The Uchiha's only goal was to revive his clan. If he took a fancy to Naruto, he would try to impregnate her within the month, and Naruto, not understanding his intentions or the consequences, would find herself bound to the Uchiha as little more than a babymaker.
Iruka would face the Uchiha in combat before he let that happen.
"What plans do you have today, Naruto?" asked Iruka, not letting his inner turmoil show.
The blonde slumped a little in her chair. "Today's supposed to be my birthday party with, well, everybody," she said almost glumly. "I guess it's time to tell them, but before that, I have to find Sai. He's the only member of Team Seven that doesn't know."
"I'm sure Sai will understand why you couldn't tell him earlier."
"Yeah. I know he won't mind. I just wish that I didn't have anything to tell him." Meaning that she wished she wasn't a girl.
"Naruto," sighed Iruka, "I hardly know what to say. You've been dealt a hard life. Your parents' death, cruelty at the hands of Konoha, having teammate abandon you, Akatsuki, the war...seems like you never catch a break, huh?"
Naruto sniffed and wiped her nose.
"But no one - and I mean no one - would have the strength to go through all of that and come out smiling. But you did." Then Iruka smiled and Naruto almost unconsciously returned it. "Somehow, you've always smiled and you've always overcome the hardships that life threw at you, even when that bastard of a teammate tried to kill you. It's no different this time." Iruka clapped a hand on Naruto's shoulders. "I'm with you all the way, and I'm sure your friends will be, too."
"Thanks, Iruka-sensei," said Naruto gratefully, failing to catch the subtle slurs against Sasuke.
"That being said, you should talk to talk to the Ichirakus. Sooner rather than later."
Naruto visibly slumped. "Not yet," she said in a tremulous voice. "I know I have to, but not yet."
"It'll be harder the longer you wait." Naruto nodded, and Iruka decided to change the subject. "Your hair is messy. Want me to fix it?"
"Sure," she smiled, welcoming the distraction.
Moments later, Iruka was frowning at the trip wire and glaring at the monstrous knots that tied the two ends together. He spent a few minutes tugging on the wire and hoping the knots would give way but to no avail. "I'll have to get a kunai to cut through this wire," he finally said, wondering why Naruto had tied them so tightly.
Naruto's gaze darkened, and she muttered something under her breath that Iruka couldn't catch.
Returning with a comb, two ponytail holders, and a kunai, Iruka tackled the trip wire and tangled hair with zeal. When he stood back to review his work, he found the effect quite cute, which in a way was surprising. Since Naruto obviously didn't welcome her change in gender, Iruka would have thought that she would do all in her power not to look girlish. He half-expected her to chop off all her hair. So as Naruto stood to go, he asked, "Why pigtails? I like them, but what made you pick them?"
"Oh, I dunno," she shrugged. "Sasuke-teme fixed it like this yesterday, so I figured I keep it this way. So thanks, Iruka-sensei!" With that, the bundle of sunshine bounded out the door, completely missing the half-incredulous, half-horrified look on her sensei's face.
Aghast, Iruka watched her go, immediately determining that swift action must be taken to avoid a catastrophe.
... ... ...
A hour later, Naruto sat in the small apartment of the fifth member of her team, averting her gaze as she waited for a reaction.
"Ah," Sai said calmly from where he kneeled on the floor, "so you really are dickless, Dickless."
"Sai, you bastard!" Naruto cried in reflex, jumping to her feet in an aggressive pose.
"But since you are female, the nickname is even more -"
"That doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to like it!"
"But my book suggests that once a nickname is given, it cannot be easily -"
"It shouldn't have been given in the first place!"
"But I was trying to breach the gap -"
"No, back then you were just trying to insult me."
"Vagina."
Naruto lost her train of thought. Actually, it was more like that train crashed and exploded. "Eh?" she asked feebly.
"If I can no longer call you Dickless, then you need a new nickname. Vagina is -"
"Fine! Dickless is fine!"
Sai smiled.
Naruto fumed.
Sai stared at her for several long moments before Naruto, unable to maintain the silence, burst out, "What the hell do ya keep looking at me for?!"
"Naruto, you may be just the person I've been searching for."
"Eh, what's this all of the sudden?"
"I am faced with a problem that has no clear solution."
"Come again?"
Instead of explaining himself, Sai reached for a small, blue book that was lying open on his couch. He flipped through the book until he found a certain sentence on a certain page and pointed to show Naruto the sentence she should read.
~ When faced with a problem that has no clear solution, the best course of action is to confide in a trusted friend who can look at both sides of the issue and help you to determine your next step. ~
"So basically, I've just turned into a girl, and we're going to discuss your problem?"
"I am not in a position to understand what you are experiencing and can therefore offer little help. However, since you now have insight into the female mind, you are in a perfect position to give advice to me," he said simply.
"You know what, fine," she sighed, tugging on a pigtail. "Hit me with it. It'll be a nice break from all of my crap."
Sai nodded a little gratefully and began. "One month ago, I momentarily forgot that it is important to say the opposite of what you think to women, and I called Yamanaka-san 'ugly.'" Naruto groaned. "She reacted similarly to Sakura and attacked me with her mind jutsu."
"Not surprising," muttered Naruto.
"Yamanaka-san employed a pain-inducing jutsu - one of her newer techniques, I believe. She was quite ruthless, paralyzing my movements and causing me to feel the sensation of pain throughout my body. It was admirable. However, she seems to have left a piece of her consciousness in my head."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
He described the encounter as though it were a clinical problem. "In other words, I suddenly find myself thinking of her at inopportune times, and more often than not, she is unclothed. I am hesitant to tell her that her technique erred somehow, or perhaps this is a joke. I continue to have difficulties in understanding certain humor -"
"I don't think that's it," interrupted Naruto. She may have trouble picking up on subtle cues, but when smacked in the face with the obvious, even Naruto could put two and two together.
Sai asked hopefully, "Then you understand the problem?"
"Er, well, to start with - do you like Ino?"
Sai tilted his head questioningly. "As I said, I admired her technique. It was well-executed and effective. I imagine that few of the Yamanaka could do it."
"But what do you think about her and not her technique?"
"She is ugly," came the prompt response.
"Sai, do you think any girl is pretty?"
"No."
"Fine. Then say out of all the girls we know - so that means Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, and any girl you know in ANBU - which do you think is the least ugly?"
"Hm," he hummed with a pensive look on his face. "Probably Hinata."
"Damn. Why Hinata?"
"Because she is the least noticeable. Or should I say, she is the least likely to draw attention to herself. Thus, I am less inclined to notice her ugliness."
Groaning in exasperation, Naruto slapped a hand on her forehead. This was hopeless. As Naruto wracked her brains for an idea, her eyes fell on Sai's sketchpad. "Ahah! Sai, out of all the girls from before, who would you most prefer to draw?"
"Ino," he said instantly, not even realizing he had begun to call her by her first name.
Naruto could have fist pumped. There were finally getting somewhere! "Great! Why'd you pick her?"
Again, Sai looked pensive. "She is...very expressive. Very alive. And when she caught me in her mind jutsu, her eyes were gleaming with anger and aggression."
Naruto scratched her chin a trifle uncomfortably. "And that's, you know, attractive to you?"
"If by 'attractive' you mean interesting, then yes." Sai reached for the sketchpad that Naruto had noticed moments ago. "I enjoy studying the play of expressions across her face. I have learned much about the female population through watching her this past month."
Then he handed Naruto the sketchbook, and Naruto immediately began flipping through its pages. Picture after picture was sketches of Ino. Ino at the market, Ino at her team's favorite restaurant, Ino training with Shikamaru and Chouji. Then came portraits of her wearing various expressions. Sometimes she was smiling, sometimes laughing, sometimes angry. Sometimes her expressions didn't show any obvious emotion, but Sai could tell Naruto what those faces meant, too.
"Okay," said Naruto finally, closing the pad, "this is solid proof. Sai, you're in love with Yamanaka Ino, and you've been stalking her."
"In love?" Sai asked curiously, tilting his head. "That doesn't seem possible as I have experienced none of the usual symptoms. No weak knees. No sleepless nights. No butterflies in my stomach - though I've never understood how such a phenomenon could be possible for anyone. It is true that my heart was beating erratically when she put me under her jutsu, but I believe that was a response to being attacked."
"And yet," inserted Naruto, "you can't stop thinking about her. You've gone so far as to follow her around when you're not on a mission, and I know you don't have much free time being in ANBU and all. You know all of her expressions and quirks - which is, frankly, a little disturbing - and most importantly, when you were explaining what each of those expressions mean, you started smiling. A real smile, not one of your creepy ones."
"Perhaps you are right," said Sai slowly. "It is not outside the realm of possibility, I suppose."
"Look at it this way... Have you ever had as much interest in another person as you have in Ino?
Sai considered before answering, "Possibly."
"Who?"
"You."
"Eh?"
"And Sasuke-san, by association."
Sai rose from the floor and strode to a bookshelf. Once there, he thumbed through a stack of sketchpads and said, "You two were the first people I ever had any interest in. Remember when we found Orochimaru's hideout and you swore that you would never give up on bringing Sasuke home? At that time, your eyes were on fire. That's how it seemed to me anyways. Before that, I had thought you were simply loud, obnoxious, and stupid with an unusually small dick -"
Naruto's brow gave a little twitch.
"- but afterwards, I wanted to understand what could make you look like that. Bonds, you said. So I resolved to study your bond with Sasuke-san." Finally, Sai's hands found the sketchpad he was looking for, and without opening it, he handed it to Naruto.
The pages were filled with pictures of Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke's face and figure were drawn with harsh, dark lines that gave an impression of evil and even madness. Sometimes, he looked cold and broken; sometimes, his hatred was palpable. Those drawings were rather disturbing, so Naruto focused more on the pictures of herself - well, of himself. She was still a boy back then. Naruto was often surrounded by fire. There was power and a plea in his eyes, which were constantly turned toward the dark avenger.
"When I first met him," said Sai, "Sasuke-san's eyes looked cold and dead, but after the battle with Madara, when he turned on you, his eyes shone with a burning hatred. I've never seen such blatant, unbridled ferocity in anyone, before or since."
"Gee, thanks," muttered Naruto.
"After you tried to kill each other, I realized that what he truly hated was the spark of hope that he could never quench. By trying to kill you, he was trying to destroy that hope."
Naruto stared for a long moment at the pictures. "Sai, for being an emotionally retarded person yourself, you are really good at picking up on other people's emotions."
"Thank you," he said with a presumably-not-fake smile.
Then she flipped to the next page, and Naruto choked. "Why are we intertwined? And naked?!"
It was an abstract piece. Naruto and Sasuke faced each other, chests not quite touching, but while Naruto's firm gaze rested on his companion, Sasuke's eyes were closed and shadowed. Their arms reached for other, but their hands blurred into black vine-like coils that simultaneously clawed at and reached for the other. The point of contention for Naruto was the fact that their hips - well...merged, and their joined legs, like their arms, faded to black.
"This drawing represents your spirits as I once saw them. Unable to let go of the other, yet unable to cease their eternal battle. Yin and yang. Push and pull."
At that, Naruto muttered darkly, "It's usually the bastard doing the pushing."
"Sasuke-san closed his eyes to walk in darkness, but you were always moving forward with your eyes on your goal. In the end, as you lay dying, he finally understood that you weren't sacrificing yourself for Konoha...but for him."
"Kami-sama," breathed Naruto. "How the hell did you figure that out?"
"As I said, you were the first person to ever interest me, and I studied you meticulously." Sai shifted from his kneeling position to sit cross-legged on the floor. "Which is why I can see that you are upset, Naruto. If you like, I would be glad to listen to any of your troubles."
Ordinarily, she would never dream of talking to Sai about this, but by some odd twist of fate, the artist might just be the only person besides Naruto who had an inkling of what was going on behind the Uchiha's exterior. "Sasuke's been acting weird," she confessed.
"In what way?"
"Well, it's like it's been the same but not."
"I do not understand."
Naruto yanked on her hair. "I don't really either! He hasn't insulted me since I became a girl. I mean, he hasn't called me 'dobe' or 'usuratonkochi' since then. Not that I miss that, but - then, in a way, I do. Also, he's calm one minute and angry the next. Normally, that would be fine since I like to annoy him, but he's been making it way too easy! He blows up in my face, but then, he gets this tight, pinched look that I don't recognize. He's super tense all the time, even when he's not mad."
"I have never seen Sasuke-san when he wasn't tense."
"Yeah, well, that's probably because he doesn't like you," she said, knowing Sai wouldn't take offense. It was the truth, after all. "I mean, it's not like he's ever relaxed, but when it's just the two of us, he usually...less wound up."
"When it's just the two of you?"
"Yeah, but he's been on freakin' pins and needles the past couple of days! I mean, I disappeared for a few hours the other day - not like its the first time I've done that. Normally, when I'd return, he'd just look at me and say 'baka' like it was no big deal that I was gone. Sure his shoulders would relax, and I'd know that he'd been worried. But this time, Sai - this time he totally freaked out! He was livid. He even got Tsunade-obaa-chan involved! But the weirdest part came when I got out of the shower. For a minute, he just looked at me with the strangest expression on his face, like he didn't even know me. Even being hungover, I noticed it. Then he started yelling at me about my hair...that's just weird for Sasuke."
"Perhaps he is simply having greater difficulty accepting that you are female," suggested Sai.
"Well, yeah, but that's no excuse. I'm the one who actually changed genders, so I'm the one who should be all pissy and angry."
"Sasuke-san appears to be generally disinterested in women as a whole. So perhaps he simply needs some time to adjust to the idea of having a female friend."
"Some time," repeated Naruto blandly.
"Some time," agreed Sai.
"Whatever," sighed Naruto, running a hand through her hair. Stupid teme causing stupid problems.
Then Sai switched gears. "Naruto, I can accept that I might have feelings for Yamanaka-san, but I still don't understand why she is so often unclothed in my thoughts."
"Um, haven't you read any books on, you know, puberty?"
Sai looked at Naruto unblinkingly. "I did not think it necessary since I had already been through adolescence by the time I began researching emotions."
"Well, being in ROOT probably stunted your growth in certain areas." Geez, this was just her luck. He really had no idea about, well, anything, and Naruto so didn't want to be the one to enlighten him. "You know what, Sai? After this, why don't you go find Kakashi-sensei and ask him about puberty? I'm sure he'd be glad to explain it."
Haha, not! Kakashi-sensei would run for the hills, but Sai would likely follow him until he had an answer. Naruto hoped that she was there to see the look on her sensei's face.
The two sat in silence for a while, Naruto turning over the various complications in her life while Sai recalled a particular term from one of his books.
"Naruto," asked Sai, "would it be correct to call this a heart-to-heart? A time of mutual sharing and sympathizing?"
"Guess so," Naruto grunted.
"Ah." He nodded in satisfaction. "Then we have deepened our bond of friendship?"
"You know, I think we have. Funny."
"Though, I'm still not certain what conclusions to draw about Yamanaka-san."
"And Sasuke's such a stinker."
"But it is rather comforting to speak with someone about your innermost thoughts, just as my book suggested."
"You know what, Sai? I've got just the idea to make us both feel better," said Naruto, the beginnings of a grin causing her lips to twitch.
"What is that?"
"A good, old-fashioned prank."
... ... ...
Two hours later, Naruto bounded through Konoha, setting a blistering pace as she vaulted from rooftop to rooftop.
Damn the bastard's fast! When she wasn't in Sage or Kyubbi Mode, Naruto was about equal in speed to the bastard. Then Naruto spotted her salvation walking calmly down the streets of Konoha.
"Gaara! Sand!" she cried, leaping for the unsuspecting redhead.
The Kazekage faintly noted that the blonde flying through the air towards him was not, in fact, the blonde whose birthday he had come to celebrate. Nevertheless, he responded on instinct and formed a platform of sand for the girl-blonde, and just like he had done with Naruto months before, he added his own chakra to her jump, propelling her forward like a shot.
"What was that?" asked Temari in bewilderment. "Naruto?"
"There was no henge or genjutsu. My chakra-enhanced sand would have felt it." This girl-blonde, as Gaara referred to the female inwardly, could easily be Naruto's sister.
"Damn, if Naruto had a sister, that'd be her," said Kankuro, echoing Gaara's thoughts.
"That had to be Naruto, though," said Temari. "Who else would talk to Gaara like that?"
"I have a feeling we will find out at the party tonight."
Or they'd find out sooner.
"NAAARRRUUUUUTOOOOOOOOO!" a dark figure yelled, hot on the heels of the girl-blonde.
It was Uchiha Sasuke, but if it weren't for hearing his voice, the Sand siblings might never have known who he was. Dripping from head to toe with a black liquid that was either paint or ink, the Uchiha surged from roof to roof in his pursuit of the troublemaking blonde. He didn't acknowledge the shocked gasps and pointed giggles from the villagers on the street. No, he had a single-minded purpose, and that was to strangle and probably dismember a blonde, blue-eyed shinobi.
Temari watched the Uchiha until he disappeared from sight. "I wonder if he knows that there's a white stripe down his backside."
Kankuro chortled, and even Gaara smiled. Uchiha Sasuke, revered by the women of the Five Nations as the epitome of masculine beauty, distinctly resembled a skunk.
... ... ...
Did you see that?! roared Naruto angrily to Kurama in her mind. Did you see what he just did?!
Yes, he ran off with his tail between his legs. Sissy.
He ran off! Naruto repeated, enraged. What the hell is wrong with him?!
Perhaps it is like Sai said and the Uchiha doesn't know how to respond to you anymore.
But he did respond like always! Then he just...left. I don't get it! Sasuke had chased after her in a rage just like he was supposed to while Naruto led him into another trap. Feathers were going to rain down on him and stick to the chakra-based ink from Sai's stores, and Sasuke would have had to cross all of Konoha 'inked and feathered' back to his apartment to clean up. But instead when he had almost caught her, he had abruptly stopped and stared at her for a long moment, an inscrutable look on his face, before turning away.
It just wasn't normal.
Who can fathom the mind of an Uchiha? said Kurama bitingly. And who would want to?
I sure as hell want to! He's my stupid bastard of a best friend!
Perhaps he no longer wishes to be your friend.
Bullshit.
Maybe he thinks you're too breakable now and no longer wants to fight you. The Kyuubi's voice was full of scorn.
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Some men believe that women belong in the home. That they are to be coddled. I wouldn't have guessed it of the Uchiha, but who knows?
If that's the case then I'll just pester him until he's blue in the face! He'll have to attack me like usual!
Heh, said Kurama, women may tend to be weaker shinobis, but when it comes to pure, cussed stubbornness, they trounce men every time. It explains a lot about you.
Never let obaa-chan or Sakura say that women are weaker. In fact - Naruto darted forward and landed a punch on Kurama's nose before a tail whipped towards her, which she neatly dodged. I'm a girl now, so I'll make it my mission to beat the snot out of every boy in our age group! No. Every top-ranked shinobi male in the village! she cried, sounding a bit like Lee.
Without my power, of course.
That's right! Without - eh?!
It would hardly be fair to use my chakra to prove that women are superior.
Eh? Um, maybe you're right. Yeah! I'll trounce 'em with my own power! Though she would have to think carefully about how to beat Neji and the decidedly un-Gentle Fist style. Yosh! Time to hit the training grounds!
... ... ...
Little did Naruto know, the second half of her prank wouldn't have worked even if Sasuke had continue chasing the blonde. The reason was simple. As Sai prepared thousands of ink feathers for the grand finale of the prank, his ANBU tattoo had tingled. It was a summoning to Hokage Tower.
He arrived there two minutes later, his fox mask securely in place, and fell into the ANBU ranks.
Moments later, the Hokage arrived and wasted no time addressing them. "Intelligence detected a foreign chakra signature entering Konoha by the west wall. Two barrier teams are in pursuit, but the target has not been located. Rat, Bear, Falcon, Dog, begin the hunt." The four ANBU immediately launched themselves from the rooftop, barely visible blurs. "Snake, Monkey, tighten security at the main gate. Cat, alert the Inuzukas, Hyuugas, and Aburames. Have every available tracker scouring the village. Rabbit, inform the jounin commander. This is a level 2 alert." The remaining ANBU were sent to guard strategic points in Konoha, places where an enemy was likely to attack. "Fox, send out your rats and birds. Don't worry about alarming the villagers. This is not a time for caution."
Sai nodded and pulled out his scroll. Moments later, hundreds of small ink-animals sprung to life and scurried down the Hokage Tower or flew through the air, scouting the village for a foreign chakra.
"Fox," said the Hokage, "have you seen Naruto?" It was less of a question and more of a demand for information.
"Seven minutes ago, she was with Uchiha Sasuke near the main market."
Tsunade grit her teeth. It was either a very good thing or a very bad thing that Naruto was with the Uchiha.
"Can you confirm the location of the Uchiha for the whole of the morning?"
"Naruto can confirm that Sasuke-san was sleeping in his apartment for the past two hours, Hokage-sama."
"Was Naruto spying on him?"
"She sent a clone to be a lookout."
"A lookout for?"
"We played a prank on Sasuke-san. It should not be difficult to locate him if that is your wish. I'm certain that he is still dripping with ink."
Tsunade smirked. "Leave it to Naruto to unintentionally provide the Uchiha with an alibi."
Sai was quiet for a long moment. If this were Danzo-sama, he would never ask but instead accept only whatever information was given to him, but Tsunade was nothing like Danzo. "Hokage-sama," Sai asked, "it is him?"
Tsunade looked at the young ANBU. "It's not like Orochimaru to slither in without causing a ruckus. If it is him, I imagine we will know soon enough."
... ... ...
Soon, all of Konoha knew that something was amiss. A training exercise, the villagers were told when they asked why members of three clans were running through the streets wearing harried expressions and ink-mice scurried about the streets and rafters. Those who had lived through many such "exercises" were not fooled, but they chose to believe it so as not to alarm the younger, more naive generation.
Besides, their blonde-haired hero in his Oiroke no Jutsu form was just seen bounding through Konoha laughing. Nothing too terrible could be happening while Naruto was around.
However, said blonde shinobi was now wholeheartedly ensconced in her training, relearning her body and its new strengths and limitations. Naruto threw herself into the workout, determined to forget the confusion wrought by her best-friend-worst-enemy Uchiha Sasuke.
... ... ...
Hours later, Inuzuka Hana appeared in Tsunade's office where a small crowd of Konoha's top shinobis were gathered. "Hokage-sama, my mother and I found a trace of the intruder's scent outside the north wall. Mother is still tracking it."
"Fox," commanded the Hokage, not bothering to conceal her anger, "send word to the ANBU. The north wall and Inuzuka Tsume's tracks." No sooner had she finished speaking than several birds erupted from his scroll and flew off to alert the ANBU.
Tsunade breathed in deeply, hoping to calm herself. Not only had an enemy shinobi penetrated Konoha's barriers but he had managed to evade a full contingent of the finest ANBU and escape the walls with seeming ease.
"Hokage-sama," said Hana, "the scent was very faint and had no distinctive or distinguishing features. This was a shinobi who knew how to hide his scent."
"Of course. Anything else?"
"Hai. We found tracks...two pairs of tracks. The intruders didn't even bother to hide them once they were outside the village."
One person entered. Two left. "He has an accomplice," Tsunade noted, and if the accomplice had now left his post in Konoha, that would mean that he had achieved his objective, whatever that may be. "Shikaku," she called to the head of the Nara clan and the jounin commander, "conduct a census. I want to know the whereabouts of every single shinobi in Konoha."
"Hai, Hokage-sama."
Minutes later, a frog-masked ANBU bent down to address the Tsunade. "Hokage-sama, I made contact with Inuzuka Tsume. Two teams continued pursuit as I backtracked to discover the point of exit."
"And? How did they escape?"
"Through a secret passageway...in the Uchiha compound."