Happy Misunderstanding
I'm sorry if this chapter feels super melodramatic. I TRIED!
And I'mma rant a little here, so skipped this paragraph if you no like rants. So I have clicked into other rochu stories and I saw reviews that is like reproaching authors with full warning and bans for using song lyrics or whatsoever and I recalled I got it once for a story I have since deleted. And to be very honest, even tho YAH WE ARE WRONG, I still kind of like feel (can't find a proper word for it but I guess it's closer to:) annoyed by it? Like, I don't know.. Am I wrong for feeling annoyed? And I felt bad for those authors, cause it's like, do you know how much love you have to have before you even wanna write a story from a song? Imagine seeing a review and be like, oh I'm so happy and BAM! So to be honest, looking at THAT review kind of turn me off from writing. And even worst there's this one review which is like oh you're story is good and then for the rest of a four lines long review it literally berated that author for using lyrics. And I'm like oh wow, first line to ease the fall? Okay I got it, worst come to worst, I'll just delete shit, okay.
Thank you anons for reviews. Greatly appreciated. I hope.. the reason for Yao's rejection is not too cheesy or whatsoever.
ps. I kinda add the translation by the side to those cha-neese characters because I figured it might be easier.
Yao continued to stand there, in the middle of his living room listening in silence to his mother's reproach. He held his face low because he can feel that his eyes is raw and pulsing, and he is afraid that looking at his mother will spill the bean about his emotions.
'耀，你老老实实跟妈妈说你是不是喜欢那个洋人？不要骗我了。'(Yao, tell your mother truthfully if you like that Caucasian man. Don't lie to me.) his mother asked with all seriousness.
'不喜欢。跟他不认识。'(I don't like him. I don't know him.) Yao insisted, a little agitatedly.
'不认识还会叫要伊万？不喜欢眼睛还会哭的又红又肿？耀，瞎子都看得出来了。妈妈求你不要再这样折磨自己了。'(You don't know him but called him Ivan? You don't like him but your eyes is red and swollen from crying? Yao, even the blind can see. I beg you not to torture yourself like this anymore.) his mother cried, gripping Yao's arms tightly, hoping that her words can be drilled into his head through her grip.
'我没事的。妈，妈。我告诉你，他是同性恋。我.. 我知道你不喜欢同性恋的，所以我就跟他绝交了啊。我没事的妈。我们..还早着呢..找燕后我们去吃早餐。'(I'm okay. Mom, mom. I'm telling you, that he's gay. I-I know that you don't like gays, so I stopped being friends with him. I'm okay, mom. We.. It's still early, let's find Yan and we can have breakfast together.) Yao looked up to his mother's worried features and smiled, and tried helping her to the door.
'耀！'(Yao) his mother shouted, smacking aside his hand, and held on to his sides, forcing him to face her. '你有事！你知道你有事！我不说，燕不说，不代表我们不知道。开花结果为家国， 我知道我说过。但是我跟爱自己的儿子。只要你能幸福我就开心了。'(You're not okay! You know you're not okay! I don't talk about it, Yan don't talk about it does not mean that we do not know. I know I said that getting married and having kids is what you're supposed to do for the family. But I love my son more, so if you can have the happiness you deserve, I will be more than happy.) his mother continued.
His mother's kind words, a catalyst to crumbling the brave front he have been holding, finally manage to send Yao breaking down in tears. Yao covered his face with his palm and started bawling, ugly tears came crashing down, smeared all over his cheeks.
'我很怕。我很怕历史重演。我不要伊万跟他们一样。'(I am scared. I am afraid that history will repeat itself. I don't want Ivan to end up like them.) Yao cried, voice breaking and hitched from weeping. 'I'm sorry Ivan.' he whispered as his knees finally gave way to his sorrow.
His mother's eye fell, holding onto her shawl, she knelt beside her sobbing child on the floor'傻孩子，那些事情哪可以怪你。'(Silly child, how could you blame yourself for the things that happened.) she comforted, wrapping her arms around trembling Yao.
'妈，我应该这么办？'(What should I do mom?)
'So.. What exactly happened to Yao?' Ivan finally broke the ice and asked Yan.
'It's a very long story to be honest.' Yan started.
'It's okay, I have all day. I just want to know.' Ivan replied.
'Our father died when we are young. He is a man with a fierce demeanor, with high expectations on all his children. So naturally, he never showed us much affection. It's like those stereotypical Asian parent you have heard so much about. Always expecting As, always wanting us to be better than everyone else.' Yan continued.
How does this have to do with me? Ivan wanted to ask, but he figured it would be rude to cut her off in the middle of the story. Besides.. he haven't heard much about Yao's family before, this might be a good chance.
'But he is especially harder on Yao because he is the eldest. And Yao always strive his absolute best to please father. You should have seen the look on his face when he first got his full marks in exam and earn father's grunt of approval. My father is not always nice, he do hit us from time to time for failure, in fact he shouted at his children much more than we ever seen him smile. We all hated him, except for Yao. Who kept trying and trying to earn his approval that became harder and harder to get.'
Ivan listened intently, he can finally understand where Yao got his habit of working till late from.
'And one fine day, my father decided to bring Yao on a fishing trip, but he drowned. His last words to Yao was how proud he was of him, and that he love him. Always.'
'That's.. ' Ivan started with a tone of doubt.
'Ridiculous, I know. But that's not all. That's just the start.' Yan cuts in.
'The second person who said 'I love you' to him was a girl. She was his classmate in math class, and Yao was the one who always tutored her. Sparks started flying but both was too shy to say anything. But one day, while he is sending the girl home, she suddenly ran ahead and from the front she shouted back to him the exact line 'I love you.' And the very next moment, the tree beside her snapped, and the whole trunk fell on top of her. She died on the spot.' Yan narrated, turning around this time to see Ivan knitting his brow.
She gave a smirk and said 'Sounds like something out of some badly written story isn't it? Life imitate art, even if it is a badly written one.'
Ivan is speechless.
'But this got Yao really bad. He started getting a little phobia when people casually throw the three letter words around. However, it only started eating him when the third person died, and that third person is sadly my youngest brother, Long. Long was a delinquent and quite a handful. It doesn't make it any better that he have temper just like my father. Yao still kind of blame himself for father's death so he tried to be a father for Long.' Yan gave a little smirk and shake her head a little before continuing 'But maybe he is too nice to be a father so Long always step all over his head, still.. Yao is very nice to him. Because he hopes that Long can change his ways.'
Ivan asked 'How did.. Long died then.'
Yan's eyes fell into the distant past and although the recollection doesn't seem to hurt her, she seems lost in it. Then she took a really deep and long breath, swinging her legs that didn't touch the floor before saying 'In a gang fight.'
Ivan waited.
After some time, she continued 'I was using the computer in the living room, and Yao was engrossed in the TV. Long suddenly came out from his room and said a bunch of stuff . He ended off with a 'I love you brother' really softly, but I guess Yao heard it too because I saw his smile when he turned towards Long's back. Long went out after shouting to Mother that he's buying some cigarettes. And that's the last we ever saw him. That stupid boy.' Yan said.
'Yao must be really sad then.' Ivan mumbled, unsure of which reaction would be appropriate, while feeling guilty that he knew absolutely nothing that befell his poor crush.
'Sad is an understatement.' Yan replied. 'Yao started having nightmares. Really bad nightmares. And I can tell that the guilt is constantly sending him on the edge. He fell out with lots of friends. He no longer smiles like he used to, and he no longer say more than a few words. He just... turned cold and tired all the time.'
Now it's Ivan's turn to stare at the crumbling well. Something still doesn't tally up, he thought. There's should be something more.
'Is.. there anything else?' he asked, turning back to look at Yan's face.
The distant church bell started tolling through the skies, dragging the moment between Ivan's question and Yan's response. The bell is serene, Ivan noted, as it call forth the faithful to come together and recite the Lord's prayer in peace. But how ironic it is that he is listening to a story so filled with misfortune.
'There is.' Yan replied quietly, after the ringing stopped. 'You see, the nightmares turned into insomnia and it started affecting his daily life. So I persuaded him to see a therapist for it and he did. The therapist taught him lots of way to cope with his guilt, to cope with his pain. And slowly but surely, Yao gradually improved. I slept next door and sometimes when he have nightmares he calls the therapist and the therapist was nice, he will talk to Yao for the whole night, making sure that he is okay.'
Ivan's face changed. He suddenly recalled the few times Yao called him in the middle of night simply talking about weird topics to keep Ivan on the line. And he recalled the few times he fell asleep and also that few times he didn't picked up.
What have I done, Ivan thought. Heart falling into the pits of his stomach, for a different reason this time.
'They got closer and closer without Yao realising. But the therapist is clever, he knew better than to say that three letter words to trigger Yao. And Yao was happy being the way they are. Yet, my mom, being a traditional women, started noticing this and began protesting it in her own way. Anyway, long story short, Yao said that they should stop meeting and hanging out like they do. Of course the therapist didn't believe Yao is that unlucky and so his last word for Yao was 'I love you.' And indeed it was his last because no matter how much Yao begged him to take it back, he refuses. The bus he was in crashed on the highway. Not everyone died, but he was sadly one of them.'
'What happened to Yao then?' Ivan asked, perturbed. He's still reeling from the shock of what he have done to poor Yao.
'Well.. He was, pardon me for saying this, a god damn mess.' Yan emphasized. 'He locked himself in the room, he lost his job and he barely eat or in fact do anything else. He didn't even cry. Mother literally kneeled in front of the door, begging for him to eat anything. Her hair turned whiter since then.
'And? What happened?' Ivan urged. He have to know what happened next.
'It took one whole year. One whole year for him to finally opened that door. He looked frail and his hair grew long. Those eyes, I'll never forget them. His eye bag was so heavy and his eyes so dead he's like a walking zombie.'
Ivan grimaced. The thought of how Yao was then hurts him literally, what started off as a ridiculous story, ended off .. like this.
'He announced that he have found a job in America and he will be living there for work. Mom told me to come over and look after him, I worked here for about half a year before Yao started low key chasing me home. So I figured that if he wants to start a new life over here, I should let him be. And that's the story of how he feels like a jinx to everyone that ever loved him.' Yan concluded.
Ivan sigh. He thought that if he knows the truth, he would know what to do. But that doesn't seem to be the case now, isn't it.
Ivan gritted his teeth, still at a loss. He looked up to the crumbling well again. He stood up and started heading towards it. Written over the words of 'WISHING WELL' is the words of warning of how dangerous this well is.
Ivan dug out a coin from his pocket and flipped it into the well. It fell all the way down for some time before a 'plop' sound is heard echoing.
'Did you wished for Yao to like you back?' Yan asked happily as she trot beside him.
Ivan shake his head with a little sad smile.
'But why?!' Yan ejaculated with disappointment.
'I don't want my magical coin wish to make his choices for him.' Ivan explained. 'Beside, that's pretty selfish, don't you think?'
'Okay..' Yan pouted. 'Then what did you wish for?'
Ivan breathe in deeply, and wished it out loud:
'I want Yao to be happy'.