*Author's Note: Part of this chapter does tip-toe the line between T and M. Personally, I think it's vague enough to keep an overall T rating for the fic as a whole, but I did put a chapter break (the "XXX" I generally use) when the chapter turns towards the more M-Rated content. You won't miss any relevant story if you want to skip it. Thanks, and enjoy. :)

In From The Cold

Chapter 8
Love Me Again

"You're staring," he whispered.

Beckett smirked. "Sorry, is it too creepy?"

"No, it's fine," he asserted with a twinkle in his eyes.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, her eyes roaming over his face as she tried to gauge his reaction to her retelling of the last three years.

Castle shifted on the bed, staring at her. "What's next?"

Beckett shrugged her shoulders, raking her fingers through her blonde hair. "Honestly, I don't know," she shifted closer to him, tentatively placing a hand on his arm. "I was hoping you'd help me figure that out."

He quirked up an eyebrow at that statement, sensing what she really wanted. It hadn't been lost on him that she'd been ready to seduce him as Nicole Brennon when he first arrived. He could still vividly recall the sight of her lounging on the bed in nothing but black lingerie that left very little to the imagination. Castle had never seen so much of Beckett's naked flesh, except for that one time her apartment blew up and he'd busted down the door, braving fire and falling debris to save her. He had caught a glimpse of her lithe body then, just enough to fuel his fantasies for several months.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked, brow furrowing.

"Of course," she inclined her head, withdrawing her hand from his arm. He instantly missed her touch.

"Would you have told me?" he inquired.

Beckett cocked her head and frowned.

"If I hadn't turned you down when I arrived," Castle elaborated, noticing her perplexed expression. "Would you have told me? Or would you have simply continued playing the part of Nicole Brennon as we… well, you know." He ended the sentence with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

"Yes, I'd have told you," she declared without needing to think it over. "I wouldn't have been ready for more if I hadn't planned on revealing my true identity. But I had hoped you would have figured it out before it got that far. I didn't like deceiving you."

He nodded, accepting her statement. "What about before?"

"When?"

"At the party," Castle said. "You introduced yourself as Nicole Brennon. I know what you said before, about the danger still out there, but why continue it when it was just you and me at the bar? Afraid I'd make a scene?"

"Honestly, a little, yes," Beckett answered, giving him a pointed look. "You're not exactly known for your subtlety, Castle."

He huffed defensively and adjusted his suit jacket. "I get it from my mother."

"I know," she said with a muted smile. "But it wasn't just that, Castle. I was being selfish."

"How so?"

"It had been three years, Castle," Beckett lowered her head, shamefaced at her selfishness. She pursed her lips and swallowed, before raising her eyes up to once again meet his gaze. "A lot can change in three years. I really shouldn't have expected anything, but still there was a part of me that was curious. You might have moved on. And if you had, and were happy, then I didn't want to mess that up. All I want is for you to be happy. And I didn't want to ruin that for you if you were." She paused and took a deep breath, averting her eyes. "I read the papers, Castle, and you popped up in the gossip section more than a few times, quite often with a bimbo on your arm."

Castle shifted on the bed, cocking his head as he looked at her. "I won't lie," he said firmly. "I didn't exactly take your death well. I fell back on some old behaviors, a coping mechanism I developed as a young man when everyone I loved seemed to leave me. I did it when Kyra left, and when Meredith cheated on me. So," he shrugged his shoulders, "I embraced the playboy role a little too much. Look, I'm not proud of how I acted. I want more than meaningless flings. But after your… well, I just couldn't allow myself to get attached, so it seemed the best alternative. It's not who I am, Kate. Not really. I've been trying to—"

Beckett placed a hand on his shoulder to shush him. "You don't need to explain anything me, Castle," she assured. "I don't blame you. And I certainly am not judging you."

He cast a skeptical look in her direction.

"Truly," she insisted, giving him a little reassuring smile. "I know, in the past, I did sort of judge you for that behavior."

"Sort of?" he snorted.

"All right," she sighed, holding up both hands in surrender. "I did judge you. But that was then. This is now. And now I am not judging you."

After a long pause, Castle inclined his head in acceptance. "Okay," he said. He licked his lips nervously as he stared at her. "So, um… what were you planning for tonight?"

"What do you mean?" she questioned, innocently.

Castle gestured to her, reminding her that all she was wearing was a bathrobe with nothing much else underneath. "When I walked in you were sprawled out on the bed, very alluring might I add," he waggled his eyebrows. Beckett bit her lower lip and blushed. "You can't tell me you hadn't planned, or at least hoped, for more than just this talk."

Beckett nodded, her cheeks an adorable shade of pink. "You got me, yes," she confirmed with an anxious laugh. "I was hoping to soften the blow by offering you my body."

He harrumphed at that. "Now be honest, Kate."

Her mirth seemed to disappear at the use of her first name. Beckett looked at him with large, luminous eyes. "The truth then?"

"That would be nice."

"I want you, Castle," she said, her voice filled with such firm conviction and sincerity that it amazed him. "After three years, the first thought that came to me when I was told I'd eventually be able to come home and return to my life was that I wanted you. I love you, Richard Castle. And… and I just want you."

Castle stared at her in complete awe. Kate Beckett loved him. It was the truth. There was no denying it. He could see it in her eyes, in the way her body seemed to lean towards him even now. He licked his lips anxiously and he noticed her eyes jerk down ever so slightly to observe the motion before returning to meet his gaze.

"This isn't a 'I just return from the dead and want to relish being alive' sort of thing, is it?" he asked, holding up a hand to stop anything before it could begin. He wanted to make things very clear before they did anything. "Because, Kate, if we do this, you have to know… I am all in. I love you, Kate. This—you—are it for me."

Beckett nodded. "Me too," she declared. "I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life. I want you. I love you, Castle. Always."

The use of that word—their word—was enough to convince him. This time it was Castle's turn to kiss her. He cupped her jaw in his palm and leaned in, slanting his lips over hers. She immediately responded with a little gasp, granting him access to the delicious warmth of her mouth. He kissed her hard, with all the passion and desire he'd carried with him for so long. Her hands came up to rest on his shoulders, fingers coiling tightly into the fabric of his jacket.

He pulled back, breathing heavily and looked at her.

"I'm still angry," he let her know. "And we still have a lot to discuss."

She nodded understandingly. "I know."

"But for now," he went on, and then smirked mischievously, his eyes twinkling with anticipation and excitement, "I think I'll just have to punish you."

"Naked punishing?" Beckett questioned, optimistically.

Castle bobbed his head. "Very naked punishing," he confirmed with a wolfish grin.

Beckett beamed, looking radiant and happy. He'd never seen her so happy. It made his heart swell to know it was because of him. Castle leaned in again to capture her mouth, kissing her deeply. It was still so surreal. Kate Beckett was alive, and he was kissing her. It was like a dream come true. She hummed into his mouth, clutching at his suit jacket, yanking at it. He leaned back long enough to shrug out of it before descending back down her on her delectable lips. Now that he'd tasted her, Castle couldn't get enough.

As they traded saliva, her fingers made quick work of the buttons on his shirt, nimbly unfastening each one with deft ease. When he broke away from her mouth, Beckett started to protest, but then stopped as he began nibbling soft kisses along her jaw and throat, coaxing these delightful little noises out of her. Castle worked his hand down her side to the sash around her waist. He tugged until it came free. The robe parted down the middle and Castle hurriedly slipped a curious hand inside.

Beckett let out a low moan when he sprawled his palm out across her flat stomach. Her flesh was warm and soft, eager for his touch. Slowly, he worked his mouth back up the column of her throat, nipping and teasing along the way. She turned to meet him, ramming her mouth back against his. Everything about their embrace was intense. Castle almost felt dizzy from it.

They pulled away for air, both breathing heavily. Castle grinned at her, kicking his shoes off and hastily undoing the cufflinks so he could work his arms out of the sleeves. Beckett sat up next to him and eagerly helped him remove his shirt, taking the opportunity to caress and squeezed his exposed biceps.

With his shirt tossed carelessly to the floor, Castle renewed his assault on Beckett's mouth. She responded in kind, kissing him frantically like she'd been wandering the desert, parched for thirst, and he was an ocean. Beckett wasted no time in divesting herself of the bathrobe, rewarding him with the glorious sight of her in nothing but lacy black lingerie. She clutched his shoulders and moved before he could stop her, swinging one leg over him until she was straddling his lap. She arched her back, descending down on him, sucking on his lower lip as her fingertips dragged down his bare chest.

Castle could feel his body responding. Beckett could feel it as well. She growled with lust and bucked her hips against him, making him groan. He grabbed her head in his large hands and distracted her with his tongue. After rendering her incoherent, Castle took command and flipped them around until he was hovering over her. Beckett wiggled her hips intoxicatingly beneath, mewling softly like a cat. He dropped his head to her neck, and sucked, leaving his mark.

Pulling back, supporting his weight with his arms, Castle gazed down at her. Beckett's hair was fanned out around her head against the mattress, giving her a golden halo. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips kiss-swollen. Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at him with undisguised want.

"What do you think of my blonde hair?" she asked breathlessly. "I can keep it this way, if you like."

"No," he shook his head, running his hand down her side, relishing the feel of her soft, pliable body under his fingertips. "I like your natural coloring."

"Good," she asserted with a decisive nod. "So do I."

Castle stared, mesmerized. He trailed a hand back up her side, pausing when he felt the raised scar there. Beckett froze, biting her lower lip, stricken with uncertainty and diffidence. Noticing her sudden lack of confidence, Castle moved his hand further up, teasing the underside of her lace-covered breast in an attempt to draw her mind away from such thoughts. He wanted her to know that he didn't care what scars she held. She would always be the most beautiful woman in the world, even when they were both old and gray.

His eyes, which had remained locked with hers, finally dropped, taking in the swell of her breasts as her chest heaved with each breath. That's when he noticed it. It was very faint, but still visible; a pucker mark, just between her breasts. His eyes flicked back to hers, and he saw all the worry and insecurity she held.

"I don't care," Castle spoke confidently. "It's you. I want all of you, scars and all." He placed both hands along her side, holding her steady as he bent down and pressed his lips to that spot on her chest.

Beckett let out a choking sob of relief and gratitude. Her fingers snagged in his hair, pulling him up for another deep kiss. When they broke apart, Beckett shifted restlessly and let out an uneasy laugh. "I don't know why I'm so nervous," she said, shaking her head.

He smiled. "You don't have to be, Kate, I'm here, and I love you," he assured, rubbing his hand up and down her side to soothe her.

She nodded, still squirming a little under him. "Just… I might be a little rusty," Beckett divulged. "It's been over three years since I've done this. I… I just… you've made it no secret you've been fantasizing about this for years. I don't want to disappoint you."

"Kate," Castle said, shaking his head. "You, as you are now, are better than any fantasy I could ever come up with." And then he silenced any more protestations she might have with a passionate kiss.

XXX

Beckett smiled up at him, shifting around so she could reach behind her back and unclasp her bra. Castle gently nudged the straps down her shoulders and pulled the lacy material from her body. He cupped her in his hand, teasing with his thumb as he kissed his way down the column of her throat. He nipped at her collarbones, coaxing more little noises from her that inflamed him. Beckett raked her fingers down his back and cupped his ass, squeezing. She moved her hands around to his front, working on his belt buckle while he worshiped her breasts, sucking and kissing her soft flesh.

After unfastening his belt, Beckett gently nudged Castle back until he was sitting up on his haunches. She arched up, following until she was sitting on the bed in front of him. Castle breathed heavily, staring down at her chest. Beckett grinned saucily as she popped the button and tugged the zipper down. She then hooked her fingers under the waistband of his slacks, pulling them down off his hips, taking his boxers with them. Beckett let out a low moan when she saw him.

He grinned cockily. "Told you."

"Shut up," she groused, silencing him with a gentle squeeze of her fingers. She leaned up and kissed him as she stroked him to full standing.

Firm and ready, Castle gently shoved her back down to the mattress, fully divesting himself of his slacks and boxers. She lay there watching with eager anticipation as he smoothed his hands up and down her long legs. Her skin was silky soft under his touch. She was everything he'd wanted and more. Castle bent over her, pressing a kiss to her stomach, before reaching for her panties. He curled his fingers around the lacy fabric and dragged them down her mile-long legs.

Beckett purred softly as he trailed his hands back up her legs. She rolled her hips, opening for him. He inhaled a quick breath, seeing her for the first time. He wanted to taste her, to bring her to ecstasy with nothing but his talented tongue. However, judging by her pleading eyes, that could wait for another time. Castle climbed back up her squirming body, touching and kissing all the exposed flesh. She was gorgeous, and he let her know that.

She wiggled under him, cradling his hips in her legs as he settled over her. Her hand reached between them to guide him to her. He groaned, feeling how wet and ready she was for him. Castle opened his eyes and gazed down at the beauty beneath him, lovingly combing his fingers through her luxurious golden locks, imagining how she'd look once she was restored to her natural coloring.

It was no secret Castle liked blondes. But with Kate, he preferred her as she was. Her brunette strands had been short and choppy when they first met, with a hint of red. It had been cute. But as their partnership grew, so had her hair. She'd been breathtaking. She still was. Always would be in his eyes.

"Castle," she cooed softly, caressing the side of his face as her whole body seemed to vibrate with anticipation underneath him. "Stop thinking, and make love to me."

He didn't need to be told twice. Adjusting his hips, he pushed forward. Beckett opened for him, warm and inviting. And without further preamble, Castle slid home.