Chapter Seven: Our Time in Artemyra
A/N: There will be some [possible] mature content in this chapter just because it adds to the funniness. Don't read if you can't handle.
The group walked into the ravine, into Artemyra. "People! Birds! Buildings crowded into a ravine… this is… the Artemyra Kingdom," gasped both Sinbad and Tettia. Women riding on the backs of large birds smiled and waved at the boys, who successfully made it through the ravines — they knew that Tettia and Tora would do it, no problem. "A matrilineal society living on the cliffs of the ravine, Artemyra…" hummed Tettia, looking around.
Wrapping an arm around her, Sinbad smiled and said, "It's different from both Sasan and Imuchakk… a country with its own unique culture. There are many things we can only learn by seeing them in person."
"Yeah, like how to live here, they control those fucking massive birds to get around," spoke Tora.
Ja'far shook his head. "But, please, don't think we're here for sightseeing. Artemyra gave us permission to enter their country after extensive correspondence. I'd like to say let's head for the palace right now, but…" he trailed off and sighed, "UGH! We stink!"
Laughing, Tettia replied, "I suppose that's only natural for four guys and two girls who just spend the past day climbing up the side of a ravine. I suggest before we head to the palace, we get a room at an inn and take a bath."
"I call taking a bath with Tet!" exclaimed Sinbad.
Pinching his cheek, Tettia said quietly, "How about not announcing that out loud? We don't need this place disliking men more than they do because of your naughty statements you spout. Understand me?"
"Ow ow ow! Yes ma'am!" he whined.
Releasing his cheek, she smiled and answered, "Good Sin. Now to find some natives." Just as she said that, two women walked by. "Excuse me, ma'am?"
"Yes?" one blonde answered.
"Do you, by any chance, have an inn that my friends and myself could bathe and house in for the night?" Tettia asked.
The girl cupped her face and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Hm? An inn? No, I'm afraid we don't have anything like that. I'm really sorry, but our country rarely has visitors, so it's only natural," she answered.
Everyone's face fell. "N… no way…" Tora, Tettia and Sinbad said in unison.
"And moreover, you men seriously smell. Ew! This is why men are so filthy!" the two blondes exclaimed.
Tora sighed, "This is fucking troublesome for us, too, ya know!"
"Don't you have some kind of boarding house or at least place we could bathe?" asked Ja'far and Tettia asked.
"Sure, you can bathe in the rivers at the bottom of the ravine. Besides that, your only option is pretty much the red-light district."
"RED-LIGHT DISTRICT?!" Mystras, Sinbad and Tettia exclaimed, the redhead Fanalis almost choking on her own spit.
The blondes nodded and said, "The people of Artemyra are open-minded about sex, so the red-light district has really developed. If you go there, you can find a place to stay."
Sighing, the little killjoy spoke, "As expected of a red-light district… let's skip bathing."
"Ja'far…" began their captain. Tora sighed and braced for the worst. "To head to the royal palace without bathing would be incredibly rude… if there aren't any boarding houses, it can't be helped. Let's go to the red-light district," he said, looking at Tettia with a certain look in his eyes. Sinbad began to essentially undress her with his golden eyes. He looked her up and down, throughly enjoying what his mind was conjuring up what was under her clothes.
"I refuse," the killjoy simply refused.
Sinbad almost fell over comically, exclaiming, "JA'FAR! Are you saying that it's fine to smell like this?! I'm sure Tet is itching to bathe! Right, Tet?!"
Throwing her hands up in defense, Tettia said, "Hey, you leave me outta this, little boy. You're the one looking at me like you're already undressing me with those deviously gorgeous eyes of yours."
"Exactly! I won't tolerate you causing problems with women as soon as we step foot into a country! Please quit fucking around!" yelled the young white-haired boy.
Tora laughed hysterically, "Killjoy, I don't think he'd be causing troubles with women. He'd probably just disappear with Tet and we would only hear the sounds of her pleasure!"
"THAT IS EVEN WORSE!" shouted Ja'far. "WE DON'T NEED THEM FUCKING RIGHT NOW! WE ARE HERE FOR DIPLOMATIC BUSINESS!"
While those four were doing their thing, Mystras looked over at the hulking giant that was Hinahoho. "Hinahoho… is the red-light district a paradise that's full of women? I read that in a book… do they mean that red-light district?!" asked the young knight.
The older Imuchakk sweat-dropped as he answered, "Just what kind of book did you read that in…" he looked over his shoulder, away from the other five, who were watching Ja'far and Sinbad fight childishly. "… Well, let's go check it out. While I'm opposed to girls throwing around words like red-light district…" he said and looked around to see many blondes working diligently, "No matter where I look, the women are working energetically. They're all so lively… this is a good country."
"They probably are so lively because they have a fun time sexing it up whenever they aren't working. Women are happier when they have an orgasm, don't'cha know," Tora said with a devious smile.
Everyone's face, but Hinahoho and Sinbad, grew tomato red. "TORA!" yelled a furiously blushing Tettia. "I DON'T NEED SIN KNOWING THAT!"
Winking at Sinbad, Tora shrugged and said, "Oops, guess I couldn't keep my mouth shut. It just slipped out."
Tettia wanted to throttle her best friend, but found herself almost glued to Sinbad, as his grip on her waist was back and tighter than ever. He was grinning wolfishly at her, like he had a plan for her. "S-Sin…?" the half-Fanalis asked. The captain just looked at her with a predatory gaze, seemingly undressing her with his eyes once again. "S-stop looking at me like that…"
Everyone remained silent as Sinbad undressed Tettia with his eyes, his grin growing wider as he liked the mental image he got of himself making her happier. Tora slapped her hand over her mouth and held her shaking side, trying to hold back the hysteric laughter that was threatening to burst from within her. When she had said that little bit of information, Tora had not thought that Sinbad would immediately set a goal of making Tettia happier.
"I really want to form a cooperative alliance with this country, too," Ja'far's voice cut through the silence.
"Yeah…" Sinbad said in a drawn out manner, his eyes never leaving Tettia's figure.
Tora coughed, "… but for now, let's find a goddamn place to bathe."
Sinbad's grin grew impossibly wider. "I agree to that! The river's at the bottom of the ravine, right? I wonder if we can climb down there from here," he said. "Can't wait, can you, Tet?"
"I-…I can, actually!" she squeaked.
"Aww, c'mon Tet, let Captain Moron make you happy," laughed Tora.
Tettia glared at her best friend. "You bitch! Look what you've done to Sin! Now he's looking at me with predatory eyes! If I look incredibly happy later, you're the first one I kill when I snap outta it!" she growled.
"Oh, but you love me and you'll love it," Tora retorted.
"FUCK YOU!" exclaimed Tettia as Sinbad quickly ran to the river at the bottom of the ravine.
Ja'far grimaced, Mystras blushed as the duo ran off, Tora laughed hysterically, Hinahoho just shook his head. "I guess we should wait until they come back!" laughed the purplenette.
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" yelled Ja'far.
Well, Sinbad and Tettia were gone for a while (at least a good half hour or more) and when they came back — Tettia looked like she was in a daze, yet looked incredibly relaxed (and happy) and Sinbad had the smuggest grin on his face. "I… hate you… so much… Tora… TWICE in thirty minutes…" she said in an incredibly happy tone.
Tora walked by them and placed a hand on her best friend's shoulder and smiled widely. "No you don't. Was it nice? Looks like you had a really good time. Now, I'mma go bathe real quick," she said, bolting down the ravine.
She was not gone for more than ten minutes. "Okay! The rest of the guys can go now," she said and went they did.
Sinbad's arm had found its way around Tettia's waist once again. He was whispering into her ear things that had the half-Fanalis's face as red as her hair. One could tell he was still incredibly happy with himself, the smugness from earlier had not dissipated. "I can't wait to do that again," he said.
Tettia laughed, unable to be mad at that moment, "Shut up, you fucking twit."
"So, tell me what happened?" asked Tora.
"Well, he didn't get in, if that's what you mean," replied Tettia.
Smiling deviously, Tora said, "Oh! So, he's good with his hands, eh?"
"And mouth," added Tettia with a laugh.
"OOOH! Go Captain Moron!" Tora exclaimed, shoving his shoulder.
Sinbad shrugged and replied with a wink, "What can I say? She was constantly begging for more."
Tora gasped and looked at Tettia, looking for confirmation. "Well, when you're that good, how could I not beg for more?" the redhead answered.
"You two are fucking terrible!" laughed Tora.
Tettia shrugged. "It's your fault. You're the dumbass who said women are happier when they have an orgasm!"
"I don't regret anything!"
Once the bathing was content, the group went to the palace. A woman greeted them. "You admirably travelled here from a distant land. Her majesty is waiting. Please, come this way. However, don't try her majesty's patience… make sure you're sincere and don't be careless."
Sinbad held a serious look, as did everyone else. Tettia's seriousness was dulled because she was still almost deliriously happy. They walked into the throne room and bowed before the queen. "Your majesty the Queen. We of Sindria Trading Company are extremely honored that you granted us an audience. I'm the head of the company, Sinbad. I'm a trader based in Reim that travels the world," he said with the utmost respect, "I'd like to establish a new trade rout with Artemyra…"
The queen gave no answer. Tettia looked at her and thought, Strange… why isn't she answering Sinny?
"Your majesty…" began Tora, "Have we done something inappropriate? If we did something to offend you…"
The woman behind them began snickering and laughing hysterically at them. "AHAHA! This is entertaining!" She walked up to the queen, saying, "You're the first outside visitors we've had in a while. So I just had to play a little prank on you. This is just an ordinary doll." The woman sat down on the throne and put on her crown. "I am the queen of Artemyra: Mira Dianus Artemina. Visitors, entertain me!" Her red eyes pierced everyone.
"H-huh?!" questioned Tettia.
"Hahaha! I wanted to see those faces. It seems I surprised you. People from foreign countries usually look down on us because we're women. Doing this is my way of chastising them. You did well, didn't you? You didn't crack jokes in the hallway… and you made sure to say things that would make an impact as soon as you entered. And moreover, you have two lovely women as advisors. Which one of them is Rurumu?" asked the blonde, red wine-eyed beauty that was queen Mira.
Ja'far spoke up, "Act… actually, Rurumu is currently pregnant. These two are…"
"Let the ladies introduce themselves, boy," said Mira.
Tora bowed and introduced herself, "I am Tora. A pleasure to see such a powerful women as a queen."
Tettia bowed and introduced herself, "I am Tettia, but you may call me Tet if you please. And I must agree with Tor, it is such a pleasure to see such a powerful and beautiful woman as queen."
Mira smiled and laughed, "Why thank you, my kind ladies. It truly is sad that you are lead by a man. They are lazy, lack sincerity, and think of nothing else but profits. They only exist in my country as a means of us to have descendants."
Tettia laughed, "Right? Now, may we discuss opening up a new trade route with this wonderful country of yours, your majesty."
"But of course, let us begin," Mira said.
Tora and Tettia smiled. "Should we kick out the degenerates?" they asked with a devious smile.
"Yes! Men, get out while we conduct our business!" commanded Mira.
Ja'far wanted to stay, but agreed, "Yes, your highness." The men got up and left, they all hoping that their two female companions secure trade with Artemyra.
Several hours later, Tora and Tettia exited the throne room with the queen. Sinbad bounded up to Tettia, taking her hands in his, asking on bated breath, "How did it go? Did you two secure trade with the Kingdom?!"
"Yeah, we did, but… you won't like what you boys have to do before that happens," replied Tettia, averting her eyes.
"What did you two do?!" hissed Ja'far.
Tora scratched her cheek. "Welp, we told Mira here that you, Captain Moron and Mystras would survive being thrown into the deepest chasm they have in the kingdom. And that Hina could be used in some experimenting…" she said.
"WHAT?!" the men exclaimed.
"It was the only way I would agree to commence trade with a Trading Company headed by a man," said Mira as she had her guards surround them.
Tettia shrugged, "Sorry…" The men were taken away. Tettia, Tora and Mira all laughed.
They arrived at the chasm, the men were tied up. "Sinny looks good tied up," gushed Tettia.
"Tet! Be serious!" exclaimed Mira. "He's not that attractive anyways."
"That's a matter of opinion, Mira! Also, sorry, he just looks so good~" Tettia continued to gush. "I could use some rope later~!"
Tora laughed, "You're a fucking horn-ball, Tet!"
"Shut up!" retorted the redhead.
Sinbad looked over the chasm and said through gritted teeth, "What the…?! This chasm is…"
Mira smiled and said, "This chasm is the deepest in our country, the Valley of The Dead. We have no space to accommodate excess people, so it's our custom to throw criminals down there. No one thrown into the valley had ever returned alive. It's good that the starve down and rot down there. However, Tettia avidly protested that you three could survive and make it out of there."
"N-no way… I don't wanna die like this!" whimpered Mystras.
Hinahoho tried to help, but was pinned down by spears.
Sinbad clenched his fists and made his Djinn shine. He did not know that Mira was also a Djinn wielder, so her Metal Vessel also glowed. "Oh, that was something Tor and Tet never told me. You're a king candidate with the power of a Djinn, too. If you're a Metal Vessel user… then maybe you're not just another boor. However… I can't have you using that and cheating death. Hey! Take his Metal Vessel! Take everything off of them. Someone else could still be hiding something. Search them throughly. Tet, since you're so infatuated with Sinbad, why don't you strip-search him," Mira said with a smile.
"Gladly!" exclaimed Tettia as she walked towards Sinbad. "Don't worry, you'll be fine without this," she said, taking his sword, "Now I can finally undress you~" That she did, and everything seemed to go slowly as Sinbad watched with his breath caught in his throat. Soon he was completely de-robed and Tettia had retreated from his form, with a satisfied grin gracing her lips.
A woman flirted with Mystras before they all were pushed off the edge. "Bye bye!"
"Think they'll be fine?" whispered Tettia to Tora.
"Little late for that thought, isn't it? Plus, this is King Moron we're talking about, he'll be fine. They all will," the purplenette replied. When the best friends looked up from the edge of the chasm, they saw all the women drooling over Hinahoho and his muscular body. "Welp, apparently Hina's attractive to them."
"They've never seen a man as built as him, I'd be thirsty too if I had puny men from this kingdom. Most jobs are held by the woman, therefore, the men have no means to build up muscles. They're homebound," replied Tettia.
"True!"
Tettia sat down. "I'mma miss that idiot until he gets back!" she whined.
Tora sat down beside her best friend and patted her shoulder. "I know you will. I'mma miss Killjoy. He's fun to tease."
"He is! The look on his face when you said the orgasm thing was priceless!" laughed Tettia, leaning back onto the ground, looking up at the blue sky.