Autism, Aerith had called it. The word had brought evocative images to Cloud's mind as he had watched Leon potter in her kitchen.
"Don't people like that live in homes and institutions?" He'd asked. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't equate what he thought he knew with the man who had taken him in. Sure Leon was odd, but no more than anyone else that had their quirks.
"It's a spectrum. Some are more affected than others. Leon gets by – in his own way – so long as he has routine and structure. Inviting you into his life was quite out of character. I hope you know that." Aerith had given him a knowing smile, and still Cloud was amazed that she had accepted him so willingly. Leon obviously hadn't told her about their little 'misunderstanding'.
One night had turned into two, which had turned into a week, and eventually, Cloud had become a permanent fixture on Leon's sofa. He'd tidy his makeshift bed away first thing, and like the individual cogs of a greater machine, they had slipped into a comfortable routine; Cloud's part in Leon's life like the unobtrusive accompaniment of background music. They cooked together and ate together, cleaned and tidied side by side, and watched each other from side-long glances as Leon worked on his papers; each day ending with the now familiar wish of a good night and the soft click of a bedroom door.
"It still makes me wonder why he did it. He doesn't make friends easily." Aerith had pondered, an elegant finger against her chin as she watched Leon bake. It was a weekly ritual – Saturdays were spent with his only friend – and Leon seemed to like this arrangement just fine. Never once expressing discontentment at the lack of people in his life. Cloud had asked Aerith about that too.
"That's... probably best left for Leon to explain." She told him cryptically, getting up from the sofa to put the coffee on.
So Cloud had tucked that question away for later, unsure if he wanted to ripple the relatively still waters of his new life. So Leon was autistic? So he didn't have any family and barely any friends? Cloud could live with all of that.
The new year had come and gone, and had brought the harder, colder snows with it. Glancing out of the fourth floor window of Leon's apartment, Cloud sat in the bay seat, thanking his lucky stars he wasn't out on the streets shivering in some door way. Leon could be as strange as he wanted, all he had to continue to be was patient as Cloud contemplated his future. He'd considered going back to the army more than once, but the echoes of battle and the shadows of nightmares those thoughts bought with them quickly changed his mind, and his musings always turned darker afterwards.
No. The army was well and truly behind him. There was no going back to what he had run from.
That left a regular day job. But even someone as basic in education as Cloud knew he was qualified for very little. Then there was the tiny matter of where he'd been and what he'd been doing for the last three years.
Glancing down onto the white, snow-blown streets, Cloud saw a familiar head of brown hair come walking up the path. Right on time, Leon was home from work, and Cloud rose from his seat by the window and he positioned himself in the kitchenette, ready and waiting for Leon to start cooking.
Leon offered a small hello and a friendly smile as he came through the door. Hanging his coat and bag up on the same hook, he toed his boots off and placed them in the same spot on the rack. Cloud began pulling out ingredients. Wednesday meant meatloaf, and with now practiced ease, he ordered the food in front of him, lining them up in order of which went in first, and waited for Leon to join him.
"Good day?" He asked casually, miming the apathetic shrug of Leon's shoulders as he replied predictably.
"It was alright."
"Learn much?" He passed Leon the onion and waited for him to chop it.
"Nothing new." Leon wrinkled his nose.
"Huh, guess nothing is new when you already understand the universe."
"I don't understand everything." Typical Leon couldn't take a joke.
"I find that hard to believe." Cloud was in a playful mood despite his earlier musings.
"No one understands everything, Cloud."
"Yeah, well, you seem like you have a pretty good handle on it from where I'm sitting." Cloud handed him the breadcrumbs.
"I know I don't understand people; they're not like physics." Leon continued to chop the onion, completely oblivious to the fact that he had Cloud's full attention. It wasn't often Leon was 'chatty', and Cloud intended to take every advantage of his pleasant mood. "I don't understand you." Leon's comment had Cloud pausing in his work, an odd sort of look falling across his face as he considered Leon's profile.
"What's not to understand? I'm a pretty simple guy when all's said and done."
"You're not like the others; they're confusing because there's too much..." Leon stopped, obviously finding it hard to think of the right words to explain his feelings, and eventually he gave up, shaking his head, making his silky hair sway back and forth in front of his eyes. "But you're quiet. Like there's nothing underneath. It's different; there's no noise."
"Other people are noisy?" Cloud was more than curious. Leon nodded.
"Their faces and bodies: they make noises. It's like they're saying stuff without opening their mouths, stuff I don't understand." Leon's brows creased in strained memory, a fleeting shadow of something unpleasant passing behind his eyes, before he shook it off and carried on working. "But with you there's nothing. It's like you're quiet inside. I like it."
Though Cloud was far from quiet inside, he appreciated the way Leon saw him. He had no idea what it meant, or why the older man saw him that way, but if it didn't bother Leon then it didn't bother Cloud.
"Think I'll take that as a compliment."
"Whatever," Leon shrugged.
"He needs routine, Cloud. Don't forget that." Aerith had warned him, a stern look in her eye that had left no room for argument. "It makes him feel safe. He doesn't do well when you force him to deviate. It throws his whole world out. Can you understand that?"
If there was one thing Cloud understood, it was having your whole life turned on its head. He couldn't imagine something as trivial as missing laundry day being the catalyst, but he'd take Aerith at her word. Leon seemed like a pretty reasonable guy after all. And he had adjusted to Cloud's presence in his life with relative ease. Perhaps the woman was simply being over protective? Either way, Cloud was enjoying the moderate comfort of a well organised life. It echoed military standards, and it was something he had been taught to appreciate.
"Don't worry, I got this, Aer." He'd told her.
Friday was food shopping day, and to save Leon the inconvenience of having to come home to go back out again, Cloud had started meeting him half way. On the corner of Traverse and Daybreak, there was a small mini market, and Cloud dutifully waited with his hands stuffed into his large overcoat, breathing condensation out into the winter afternoon. It would be dark within the hour, and Cloud was all too aware of Leon's aversion to being out after hours.
Cloud rubbed at his tired eyes and blinked them hard against the sting of the cold. He didn't mind admitting to himself that sleep had been illusive these past couple of weeks. Normally that would have been solved by a bottle of something strong and the sporadic clutches of half sleep he caught in between getting moved from pillar to post. But since moving in with Leon he'd cut back on the drink, and the provision of somewhere safe and warm to sleep had meant that when sleep was elusive, he had nothing to do but stare at the ceiling and contemplate his life. Not something he was predisposed to do. A similar sense of dark foreboding had been what had driven him from his army bunk in the first place. The night time shadows always were the hardest ones to evade, and Cloud had been dodging them for the longest time. He felt the telling scratch of a troubling itch that could not be satisfied, and he swallowed against the dryness in the back of his throat.
Leon was predictably on time.
"How was work?"
Leon shrugged, "It was alright."
"Learn anything new?"
"I'm helping the Hungarians research the development of a possible protophobic X boson." Leon picked up a basket and hooked it over his arm, holding the door open for Cloud to follow him in.
"Right, the Hungarians," Cloud nodded. "And the photogenic boson is…?"
"Protophobic X boson." Leon corrected him. "Its a theory, but it means there could potentially be a fifth force of nature. Other electromagnetic forces act on protons and electrons, this one only acts on electrons and neutrons, and only ever over short distances. If the theory is proven correct, it could change the way we look at the universe."
Cloud gave a low whistle as he picked up an apple and began to inspect it for bruising. Happy with his find, he began to fill a bag. "Sounds like serious stuff."
Leon nodded approvingly. "It is."
They shopped in silence for a few more minutes, before Leon cleared his throat by the dairy aisle and gave his companion a cautionary glance. "Cloud, can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Cloud selected the butter he knew Leon liked and put it into the basket.
"Why do you ask me about my work? I know you don't understand it."
It was a fair enough question and it made the corner of Cloud's mouth flicker into a tiny smile as he busied himself with perusing the cheeses.
"Because I like to hear you talk about it."
"But that doesn't make any sense."
Cloud picked a block of Edam and dropped it into the basket, sighing dramatically as he gave Leon an affectionate smile. "Yeah well, ain't that just life all over?" He replied, and Leon had to agree with him on that point.
Groceries and sundries successfully purchased, they left the mini market and started to head home, Leon's gait growing noticeably longer the darker the sky became. They would have made it home on time, had they not passed the bar just a few blocks from their apartment. It was the first time Cloud had been tempted, and he couldn't deny the urge was strong; stronger than it had ever been since being picked up off the street.
"Hey, Leon, just hold on a minute." Cloud said, slowing down as they walked by.
"What is it, we're gonna be late."
Cloud hesitated, making Leon shift from foot to foot with impatience.
"I just… I just wanna stop off here for a few minutes," He said, nodding towards the bar "Just for one drink."
"We can't, we're gonna be late."
"No we won't, we've got plenty of time." Cloud tried to reassure him, offering a small, encouraging smile. Leon looked through the window, taking in the crowded bar and the noise spilling out from the door that was stood ajar. He shook his head.
"I don't want to."
"Why not?" Cloud moved a little closer to the entrance. "It's only for one drink. It's Friday, its not like you have to be at work tomorrow."
"I just don't want to, okay?" Leon's tone had become irritable, an edge of nervousness affecting his shoulders as he inched away.
Cloud sighed, "Fine, then you go home, I'll follow you in a bit." He offered, reaching for the door handle and pulled it open.
"No, Cloud. we're supposed to go home together." Leon replied firmly.
"You'll be fine. Just go home, I'll catch you up." Cloud didn't even bother to wait for Leon to answer before he was inside. He was seated at the bar waiting to be served, unaware that Leon was still outside, torn between going on home ahead of his companion or following him inside. By the time Cloud had his drink in front of him and he was taking his first sip, Leon had reluctantly pulled the bar door open and was making his way towards him, obviously distressed.
"Cloud, we can't be here, we have to go home." He said above the noise, ducking his head low. He'd never been in the bar before, and the unfamiliarity of it was putting him on edge.
"So go home then." Cloud shot back over his shoulder, the first stirrings of irritation working their way into his voice.
"I can't, not without you. Its Friday," he reminded him, though his definition of Friday differed wildly from Cloud's. "Its lasagne."
"You know what, Leon? For one night, just forget about your damned routine, Okay? I don't want Lasagne, I want a drink. So either go home without me, or sit there and be quite. Either way, I don't care." Cloud felt guilty the moment he'd said it. But it was out now and the look on Leon's face told him it wouldn't matter if he tried to take it back. Besides, he still had his drink to finish.
Leon bit his bottom lip and scowled at his shoes. The bag of groceries was clutched in his left arm like a life preserver, and with a pained glance around the room, Leon slowly sat down on the stool next to Cloud.
"There, that's not so bad, is it?"
Leon refused to answer.
It took all of thirty minutes for Cloud's drink to go right through him, and he stood up, crushing Leon's expectant face with a casual reply as he headed to the bathroom:
"I'm gonna take a leak. Wait here." He ignored Leon's cry of protest, pretending it had been lost in the crowd as he pushed his way through to the toilet at the back. There was a line for the urinals, and as Cloud waited, he couldn't shake the guilt niggling at the back of his mind.
He was being an ass and he knew it. But was it really that big of a deal? It was just one drink. Plenty of people did it, and it wasn't that big of a change to their normal routine. If Leon could handle a homeless man coming to live with him then he could handle one lousy drink at their local bar. But what was it Aerith had said about structure? About how it made Leon feel safe?
Shit, Cloud though as he zipped himself back up, I gotta take him home.
It took him a few minutes to push his way back through the crowd and the moment he laid his eyes on where Leon was supposed to be sat, he began to understand why he wasn't supposed to take Leon out of his normal routine.
Leon had been crowded up against the wall by three men, all angry looking and threatening, and all of them wider than brick shit houses. With startling clarity, Cloud realised that Leon was in trouble. He was looking down at his shoes, holding the bag of groceries in front of him like a shield as one of the assholes poked a finger into his shoulder, nudging him backwards into the door frame.
"You got a problem with where I'm sitting I suggest you take it up with my fuckin' foot." Cloud heard one of them say, shoving Leon with more than just his finger this time, obviously annoyed at Leon's silence.
"Hey, knock it off." Cloud growled as he came up behind the three men, noticing for the first time how troubling tall they all were.
"What the fucks it got to do with you, princess?"
"Cloud, they sat in your seat and wouldn't get up." Leon informed him from behind his bag of shopping.
"And I told you I'll sit where I want. What are you a fucking retard or something?" The man shoved Leon's shoulder into the door frame again, and Cloud saw red. He reached up and gripped the man around his wrist, twisting it hard up behind his back and used the momentum to swing him round. It was a quick and violent action that scattered both bodies and stools as the man crashed to the floor, Cloud landing on top of him in a hurried heap of flailing limbs. He didn't waste any time in aiming the first blow, unaware that Leon had tried to jump in after him, only to be caught up by the other two and knocked sideways.
It was a short struggle between Cloud and his victim. He'd taken him by surprise and put him on his ass too quickly for him to get his bearings, and Cloud was on the verge of feeling good about his victory when he turned to find Leon and saw him being thrown against the wall; the fist that caught him around the jaw had split his lip and the impact had sent his bag of groceries tumbling to the floor.
Ice cold fear stole any sense of victory away from Cloud's guts. He charged forwards, crashing himself into the two men that had Leon pinned up against the wall and took them all down, himself included, and they landed with a sickening thud against the floor. A short scramble later and it was all over. Picked up by the bouncers, Cloud was thrown out onto the street, Leon a few moments after him.
Cloud got to his feet quickly, stumbling over to where Leon lay on his side, clutching his stomach, his head limp against the snow as his lip bled.
"Leon!" Cloud gasped as he knelt down next to him, a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently. Leon groaned and opened his eyes, staring up through his bangs with a bewildered sort of daze.
"Come on, can you stand?" Cloud asked, offering his hand out.
Leon shrugged his shoulder hard, shoving Cloud off him, and with a pained gasp he rocked himself onto his elbow.
"Get off me." He growled, clearly winded.
Cloud sat back on his heels as he watched Leon slowly climb to his feet, that guilt creeping back into the forefront now that the adrenaline was wearing off.
"Leon, I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"I told you we shouldn't have gone in there!" Leon cut him off, testing his cut lip with the tip of his fingers. "I told you we should have gone home!"
"I know, I'm sorry." Cloud was on his feet, following Leon as he staggered down the road, and when he tried again to put a comforting hand on his shoulder he was roughly shoved away. "Leon, I'm sorry." He called after him.
"Leave me alone, Cloud."
He watched Leon walk away, torn between following him and turning back around, and when Leon had finally disappeared from sight, and the cold had begun to eat through his clothes, Cloud shoved his bruise fists back into his pockets and slowly walked home.