Requested AU where Ella fell off the train instead of Bucky. Hope you all enjoy this quick one!
…
Bucky would never forget that moment.
He could still vividly recall the biting of the harsh cold on his exposed flesh, the wind and snow stinging at his cheeks. He would never forget the roar of the train on the tracts as they sped along the mountain side. He would never forget the pounding of his heart against his ribcage as he tried to shield her from the rain of fire being set upon them.
He would never forget the weight of the shield in his hand, or the power of the blast that blew open the side of the train. He would never forget those first few moments of foolish, peaceful ignorance, not knowing where she was, only to hear her voice scream out his name.
Bucky would never forget how she looked clinging onto that piece of mangled metal, scraping into her palms and drawing bright blood. He would never forget how the cold caused her fair face to turn red, contorted in terror as her ripped skirt whipped around her thighs in the wind. He would never forget the look in her bright blue eyes as she looked up at him.
Bucky would never forget how he reached out to her, how her hand wrapped around his wrist and clung on desperately. He would never forget how his heart dropped when her first hand slipped, leaving her dangling by her left hand. He would never forget the slow, burning fear build in him as her grip began to loosen. He would never forget the sharp pain of her nails as she dug them into the skin of his wrist in a last attempt to hang on. He didn't notice the pain at the moment.
Bucky would never forget how the tips of her fingers curled around his, hanging onto him with only a few centimeters of contact as if it would save her.
He would never forget the hurt that went through him as her fingers slipped between his and she fell. He would never forget her face, or her scream, or how it cut through him sharper than a blade. He would never forget the feeling of screaming her name after her falling body.
"Ella!"
He couldn't remember the next few moments, which went back in a numb haze. He had turned to Steve, who stared in wide-eyed horror at the spot where his sister had just been.
Bucky would always remember how Steve broke. The first and only time ever he had ever done so. He had collapsed on his knees beside Bucky, ripping off his helmet and letting it clatter to the ground beside him. He would never forget the despair on his face as he shook his head in disbelief. His last family, gone just like that.
Bucky would never forget the immense wave of guilt that had washed over him. He was supposed to protect her, and he couldn't. He couldn't hold on to her, she fell right through his fingers. The girl he grew up with, the girl he had come to love… and now she was gone.
He would never forget the feeling of the first tear, how it felt scalding hot against his cold cheeks. He had picked up her locket, the chain had broken from her neck in the blast. His fingers closed around it, a reminder.
He would never forget attending her funeral, burying an empty casket. He would never forget how his sorrow morphed in burning fury, how he craved revenge for what happened more than anything. Something had to be done, both he and Steve agreed.
He remembered going with his best friend to fight the monsters who had taken away the girl that he loved. He remembered how he fought with everything in him as if it was the last thing he was going to do, which it could have been. Bucky remembered climbing onto that plane with his best friend and going down in it, the only comfort being that he was going to be with Ella again.
Only, that didn't work out.
He had woken up seventy years later, a serum like the one that ran through Steve's veins pumped through his own and kept him alive, frozen under ice. He didn't understand at first, why he could survive and Ella couldn't. It didn't seem fair.
Bucky didn't know how he managed through those years, trying to adjust to a new life in a new time. He was thankful he was with Steve and that he wasn't alone in his experiences. His best friend became a hero while he worked in the shadows, doing the things that Steve couldn't. He was an icon, Bucky wasn't. He had the same abilities as his friend, he just needed to learn how to use them.
Bucky would never forget those fateful few days when SHIELD turned on them, revealing that HYDRA was still in power. He remembered going on the run with Steve, fearing what the future would hold.
He would never forget the first glimpse of the figure donned in all black, standing sinisterly in the middle of the day on the street. He would never forget the lethal precision that they fought with, the strength they had, even for being as small as they were. Bucky would never forget the sight of a gleaming metal arm swinging at him.
Bucky would always remember the moment Steve threw them over his shoulder, how they stood and faced them. He had felt like cold water had been dumped on him as he stared at the figure, who must have been a ghost.
He remembered the blank, empty look in her blue eyes, the cool indifference she looked at them with, how her hair fell in limp, dull strands barely brushing her shoulders. He would never forget the shock he felt when he saw her as they made her.
"Ella?"
Her blank mask had cracked, lips parting and eyes narrowing slightly as if that name meant something to her. Bucky was disappointed when she didn't look thrilled to see them again, let along recognize them. How was it she didn't know them? It didn't make any sense.
Bucky remembered how Steve told him he had met her again on the helicarriers, how tortured she seemed that she couldn't remember them. Bucky wished he had seen her again, to try and talk to her. She had to remember him after what they shared. They had loved each other, certainly that wasn't something that could so easily be erased from one's memories.
Bucky remembered searching for her for so long, finding nothing. In the end, it was her who came to him.
She appeared at night, knocking on the door to the apartment he and Steve shared. He remembered the surprise at seeing her standing there, choppy hair tucked behind her ears, face hidden by a hat, wearing several layers of cheap clothes and a glove on her left hand. Bucky remembered being speechless until Steve came to his side, demanding to know who was at the door before he had the same reaction at seeing his lost sister.
"I need help." Had been her small plea. Bucky had committed the sound of those three words to memory, the first time he had heard any sound pass through her lips in seventy years.
Bucky remembered how she had made herself small on the couch, a strange sight after seeing what she was now capable of. He hated what HYDRA had made her, taking away her youth and beautiful innocence and molding her into a weapon, one that couldn't question orders. Bucky's hands had curled into fists as he thought about the pain they must have caused her, how long she probably waited for him or Steve to save her from the hell HYDRA had created, but they left her to suffer at their hands. Bucky felt familiar guilt bubble in his chest.
He remembered how long it had taken her to grow comfortable around the two of them, how she shied away at first like an abused animal. He remembered how his eyes were always drawn to the glistening metal appendage that they had made her, wondering how it worked.
He remembered waking up one night to the sounds of quiet sobs. He had crawled out of bed and went to the kitchen, finding her muffling her cries behind her right hand over the sink of the kitchen. Her shirt was sleeveless, giving him a glimpse of the puckered, pink scar tissue that rose up where metal met flesh. He remembered tentatively speaking up, drawing her attention. He remembered her red, swollen eyes, pained and tortured.
He remembered how she opened up to him that night for the first time about what she went through in their years apart. Bucky remembered the rawness in her voice as she explained what they made her do, how she had to kill others for them because they told her so. She didn't want to say a number, Bucky told her not to do that to herself.
She told him she had nightmares about the chair they would strap her in to make her forget, the pain that coursed through her body the moment she began to recall anything, including after seeing the two of them on the bridge. Bucky wanted to know how much she remembered, but didn't ask.
He remembered how she began to open up in the following weeks, small flashes of the girl he grew up with showed. From snarky comments at Steve, to a strange fussing she would make over them when they got back from a fight that she didn't even understand at first. She began to mention events from their pasts, which they would confirm and even add details, watching as her face grew brighter the more she recalled.
Bucky remembered being happy as well as glum, glad she was remembering for herself, but wishing she remembered about the two of them. Bucky had told Steve about the nature of their relationship not long after they got out of the ice, he noticed the sympathetic glances he would send at him from time to time.
Bucky remembered when she had knocked on his bedroom door late one night. He remembered how she licked her lips in nervousness as she walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed. He remembered hearing her quivering breath before she spoke.
"I remember what we were."
It had been months since she had come to them and he was finally hearing the words he craved to hear for so long, and now, he didn't know how to respond. Instead of speaking, he reached into the drawer by his bedside and pulled out her locket. It wasn't attached to a chain, so he simply dropped the pendant in her open palm.
She popped it open, a slow smile creeping onto her lips. "I thought I had lost this." Her eyes flickered to his. "I've remembered this all for a while now… I just didn't know how to say it."
"Don't worry about this," he said earnestly. "Worry about yourself first. Get better."
She didn't seem to hear it. Ella leaned forward, metal hand reaching out before pausing. She glared at her left hand, as if it was something she hated. Bucky noted this, softly taking her hand within his own and intertwining their fingers, letting her know it was okay. He wasn't scared of her.
Bucky remembered how loud his heart was beating as she inched closer, eyes heavily lidded. She was close enough that he could feel her breath on his lips, teasing him nearly. At last, her lips met his. His head exploded with emotion as he felt her melt into his arms just like she used to. She didn't pull away, allowing Bucky to wrap his arms around her for the first time in years. He savored every moment as he felt the warmth of her skin, fingertips trailing over her scars, learning her all over again, as different as she was the same.
He would never forget the joy that filled his body when they finally parted, seeing her look just as happy as he was. He fondly brushed a strand of hair out of her face, glad to see light in her eyes yet again.
"I'll never forget you again," she whisper, leaning against him.
Bucky knew it would be true.
...
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