Mid-October 2000
P-P-POP-P-P-POP-P-P-POP
Seamus tugged on his flannel pyjamas and plopped onto the living room couch, pulling the zebra print blanket off the back of it and draping it over his lap. The rain was pelting the windows, but he had put a charm on the windows so that it didn't make too much noise. However, he could not make the popcorn pop any quieter. But it would be worth it.
"Hurry, it'll be on any minute now!" Seamus called toward the kitchen as he picked up the remote and flicked the TV on. They had splurged a little bit on the telly, getting the kind that didn't even have knobs on the side but instead small little buttons just in case the remote got lost (which it did quite often). It was Seamus favorite electronic device. It was an RCA, 27" inch piece of wonder.
"I can't make it pop any faster." Dean reminded him. Seamus whined loudly in response. "Do you wanna make it then?" Dean asked just as he was taking the pot off the stove burner.
"Y'know I'd burn them." Seamus mumbled with a baby-like pout.
"Which is why I make it. So you'll quit complaining about how long it takes. It's better this way anyway, and you know it." Dean said as he headed into the living room with the giant bowl filled with tons of buttery popcorn. He pulled the blanket onto his lap as well and put the popcorn in between them as they snuggled up next to each other.
Just in time, Channel 4 lit up with the show, starting just on the hour. Dean and Seamus ate away at the popcorn as they watched the screen. They both furrowed their brows in confusion. This was certainly not the kind of opening scene the show had used the past couple weeks since they had started watching it. A friar ran to another with subtitles translating their French dialogue below. "What the bloody hell? Did they cancel the show already? What is this?" Seamus asked irritably as the friars discussed grapes. But they were both relieved when the familiar discordant tones of the theme song came through and the fuzzy images of their intro came onto screen. "Merlin's beard that was weird."
"I'm sure it'll have something to do with the plot later." Dean assured him.
"Shhh!" Seamus asconded as she shovelled popcorn into his mouth. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, but Seamus didn't notice. He always did that. He would gab about something in the show, but if Dean tried to reply it was constituted as interrupting. But Dean could look past it. They watched on in quiet, save for the repeated laughs that occurred at the gags in the show: the long haired man, the creepy cleaner from "Anall cleaners", and the crack about eating eggs with a comb in a shoe. Seamus had happened upon the show a few weeks ago and had just about died laughing over it. They managed to finish eating the popcorn by the first commercial break.
"Accio," Dean said patiently as he called the spare bowl of popcorn from the kitchen. He always made one bowl for the first half and another for after the commercial.
"D'you think that Bernard actually likes Fran? I know she's dating around and all, but I get that vibe." Seamus asked as he automatically reached for more of the popcorn. Dean swatted his hand. "Not until the show's back on. And yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. But they probably won't do anything with it."
"Y'think so?"
"Yeah. That's not the kind of show this is." Dean said as the adverts flicked by without either of them paying much attention to them.
"Y'reckon her date's gay?" Seamus said casually.
"Definitely. I'm assuming that's going to be the joke." Dean said with a little smile. "But, go ahead, spoil it."
"I'm not spoiling, I'm just guessing." Seamus said plainly, again reaching for the popcorn and getting his hands swatted. The show popped back on. "Ah, I see. That's why they had the introduction. The grapes became this wine. This … really expensive … really old wine that these wankers are drinking." He cracked up into a fit of giggles. Dean couldn't help but laugh with him. He loved this show. Most of the comedies they watched together were only okay. He could watch them and be amused, but they didn't necessarily make him laugh. This one had him bursting out loud with laughter pretty easily.
"Oh he's definitely gay. But nobody is that obvious about it really." Seamus laughed, "Bit predictable really. I don't bloody say 'fabulous' and neither do you."
Dean just laughed instead of replying, not wanting to "interrupt". He went to grab a handful of popcorn and realized it was already a third empty again. Seamus could eat popcorn by the barrell full, Dean was convinced.
The show ended and the two briefly discussed it, but Seamus was still hung up on the gay character. "So gay men like bad music and say words like 'fabulous'?"
"So I've been told." Dean laughed, "I've also heard that we're supposed to talk in really annoyingly high pitched voices." Dean said, adding a stereotypical twang to his words. Seamus giggled fitfully beside him. "I might have to kill you if you always talked like that." He admitted. It was rather annoying. "What else are we 'supposed' to be like?" Seamus asked curiously.
"Effeminate."
"Bless you,"
"No," Dean laughed loudly, "It means we act like girls."
Seamus laughed, "How ridiculous. I mean, you can be girly from time to time with those long eyelashes of yours and your tendency to cook and clean like a little housewife."
"Oh can it, I'm not even as gay as you are!" Dean teased, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and kissing his cheek.
Seamus shrugged, "I suppose this is true. I mean, I've actually dated another man before and you haven't. Do you actually like women too?" He asked as if he was asking how long it would keep on raining.
Dean hummed in thought. He had been interested in Ginny when they started dating late fifth year. He was not against the idea of physical intimacy with women, the same way he had no issues of thinking of physical intimacy with men. "I suppose I do. Yeah." He decided.
"Huh, odd."
"Why? I suppose you don't?"
"Oh, no, not at all." Seamus said with a bit of a shudder. He moved so that he wasn't under Dean's chin, and turned to face him. "The thought of a va — no, no, gross." He couldn't even spit out the word 'vagina' without getting grossed out at the mental image. Dean couldn't help but laugh, "You're such a baby. It's not like saying Voldemort. You can say vagina without dying. Go ahead, try and say it."
Seamus stuttered over it, "V-v-v-v-"
"Shay, c'mon."
Seamus coughed loudly and mumbled under his breath, "Vagina."
Dean laughed again, going into a fit of giggles. "You're ridiculous."
"No, you're ridiculous. How can vaginas not gross you out?"
"I don't know, they just don't. It's just a body part. Did you know women actually have better orgasms than men?" He may have gotten stuck in a dentist's clinic over the summer and been unable to find anything more interesting than a copy of the Cosmopolitan. There had been a whole article on facts about vaginas. Dean truly wasn't bothered by body parts. He had sketched enough nude images in his life to know that it really was all anatomy. Sure, bits and pieces were for sexual arousal, but what of it?
But Seamus seemed utterly shocked by this statement. "W-what?"
"Yeah, I know. Surprising, isn't it?"
"I — d-did you and Ginny…?"
Dean looked at him with a puzzled expression, trying to understand how it was that Seamus had come upon such a question. And then it dawned on him that his random fact might have sounded like it came from experience. "Oh! Christ, no."
"Who's Christ?" Seamus asked, sounding more offended.
Dean tried really hard not to laugh, "Uh, long story. I just said it as a curse. Sorry. I don't know anyone named Christ." Again, it took a good amount of control to not laugh.
"But you didn't — ?"
"No, I promise you." Dean assured him. He wasn't about to say that he had wanted to at the time, but had not pressed on the matter. Which was all for the better.
Seamus breathed a small sigh of relief. But his cheeks were turning a bit red, "So — I never asked, but — was I your first?"
Dean smiled warmly, leaning forward and kissing Seamus lovingly for a few moments before pulling back long enough to tell him, "Yes. And I wouldn't change that for the world."
Seamus returned the kiss and when he looked back up at Dean he had a familiar expression on his face. But before they could continue in their play Dean just had to ask, "And what about you? Your first?" Dean assumed he knew the answer, but wanted to ask it anyway.
Seamus blush deepened, "Um, well — it wasn't you, unfortunately."
"You act like that should surprise me." Dean said with a small smile. "I kind of just assumed that first night that you had some experience."
Seamus was a bit relieved that Dean was not upset with him. "Well, you assumed correctly. But you might still be mad at me for who it was with."
"Boot?"
"How'd you know?"
"Process of elimination. You dated Lavender briefly, but you're gay. The only boy you dated was Terry. Makes sense to me." Dean said reasonably.
"Fair enough. Add in that I was madly jealous that you were off with Ginny all of the time and I did really stupid things. Dating and … lying with Terry was one of them."
"Was he that bad?"
Seamus made a face of mild disgust, setting Dean into a fit of laughter. "Trust me, you're leagues ahead of Terry Boot." This made Dean beam a little bit. He knew that he was fine, but it was rewarding to know that he was far better than Seamus' last. "Now, can we stop talking about it and just …" Seamus started to say, leaving Dean to add, "Do it?" Seamus nodded and they both leaned in at the same time to kiss each other.
A/N: This kind of evolved into an odd discussion between our boys that had little to do with television, but frankly I enjoyed the conversation too much to cut it. Also, brownie points for anyone that knows what TV show they were watching (without googling it). :)