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Chapter 6: Little Red Rosettes
"Iris wake up. Can you wake up?
She opened her eyes and for a confused moment she thought Barry was staring down at her a tender expression on his face as he stroked her hair from her brow. But only for a second, Malcolm and Barry didn't look that much alike. Confused she drew her hand from his.
"What happened?" She asked taking in the room Malcolm sat beside her on Barry's old bed. Cisco was sitting on the far end of the love seat and Caitlin was taping out a text message on her phone.
"You fainted," Caitlin Snow said voice soft and it all came back to her then.
"What are you still doing here?" She said coldly.
"I'm a doctor. You fainted, your pulse is a little slow. It's probably just exhaustion given the circumstances, but I'm not walking away from someone who just fainted no matter how angry they are."
"Iris I'm sure Cait was only trying to help," Malcolm spoke in a soft soothing voice that only served to irritate her.
"Well I don't want her help. " The rage she'd felt moments ago was gone, but that didn't mean she wanted to spend anymore time around Caitlin Snow than she had too.
Caitlin moved to stand beside the bed.
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
Iris looked away unwilling to say a word.
"Come on Iris. She's only trying to help."
"The sooner I make sure you're alright the sooner I'll leave."
"Fine," she said too tired to argue."One."
"Can you tell me what day it is?"
"Tuesday July 10th."
"Full name?"
"Iris Anne Russell West."
"Good. Have you been eating?" Caitlin's tone softened ever so slightly.
"Not really."
The other woman nodded.
"And your sleep?" Her tone softened further, expression sorrowful and Iris felt a subtle reluctant softening of her own anger.
"No."
"I know. I know how hard it is." The words were nearly an undetectable whisper.
Iris looked at the other woman, the haunted expression in her eyes. She looked as if she did know and Iris' brow furrowed curiosity piqued in spite of herself.
"Try to eat, try to sleep. Its okay to see a doctor and get prescription for your appetite-
There were voices in the hall just then. A moment later the room was filled with her family: Francine, Joe, Wally and Linda.
"What happened?" Joe asked.
"We heard yelling." Francine put in.
Caitlin straightened up.
"Iris fainted from exhaustion. She should probably eat and rest."
"Baby girl." Joe said making his way to her bedside in a few quick strides, Francine right behind him.
Malcolm moved away to make room for her parents. He flashed her quick smile before making his way out the door, along with Caitlin and Cisco.
"I'm gonna finish making your plate honey." Francine squeezed her arm before starting toward the door. "Linda and Wally, come on."
"So you want to tell me what all this yelling at Caitlin was about?"
Iris pursed her lips, the rage she'd felt for Caitlin before she'd fainted seemed remote, distant somehow. She didn't quite know what to say to her father. Should she tell Barry's secret, should she tell him about the drugs? She started to speak to tell her father a lie, that he hadn't heard that, that it was nothing, but the truth came out instead. Barry was the Flash, Caitlin and Cisco were helping him, Caitlin had drugged him. She said it was to help him with the pain, but Barry would be alive if it hadn't been for Caitlin.
"Dad, did you know about Barry?"
"I suspected."
"Barry never told me he was The Flash. I guessed. I don't understand why didn't he tell me?" The feelings that had seemed remote a moment ago surged. Not sweeping like the sudden anger she'd felt for Caitlin, but a sense of betrayal bleeding out to taint everything she'd ever believed about Barry or their relationship..
"I wish I had confronted him about it."
"Why didn't you?"
"I don't- I don't know. I meant to at one point, but at first I didn't really believe it. Then I wanted him to tell me on his own and then I think maybe I was afraid, afraid to confront what it meant about our relationship that he kept this from me."
"Sweetheart you know that Barry loved you. We all know."
"I know I just I don't understand it and now I'll never get to ask him." Iris fiddled with her engagement ring. "I'll never understand that part of who he was or why he kept it from me in the first place." She felt the all too familiar prickle of tears and surprise that there could be any left.
"Sweetheart it's not something you can get answer on, don't let it eat at you."
"But how can't I think about it dad? Did you do that with mom?"
Joe was quiet for a moment.
"Honey the people who love us the most are the ones that can hurt us the most, but alotta time when they keep secrets or hurt us it's not about how much they love us or what they even think about us and more about their own problems."
"You're thinking about mom's depression?"
Joe nodded.
"Barry wasn't depressed though."
"He wasn't, but he had insecurities, fears just like the rest of us."
Iris twisted her ring not at all comforted by her father's words.
"Dad can you do something for me?"
"Of course sweetheart."
"Can you pull the file on the fire?"
"It was the first thing I did there wasn't anything in the ME's report that was unusual baby girl."
"But dad the ME would have thought this was a normal person overcome by smoke in an accidental fire, not The Flash. Can you look again please?"
"I thought you said it was this medication Caitlin made."
"Maybe, I don't know. Just look please"
"Of course sweetheart."
"Thanks dad."
There was a knock on the door just then.
"It's Francine."
"Here I come." Joe got up and went to the door.
Francine came in carrying a lunch tray and Joe shut the door behind her.
"Got your lunch right here."
"Thanks mom."
Iris sat up or tried to, the room spun as if she'd been drinking and she fell back against the bed, trembling.
"Sit up slow honey," her dad was at her side.
She tried again easing into sitting position under her parents' anxious gaze and Joe tucked a pillow behind her back as soon as she was upright.
"I'm not an invalid dad."
"Well you just fainted baby girl so you're going to have to deal with your father and mother fussing over you. Your mother and I are gonna take care of you."
"I know dad."
Francine settled the tray across her lap and Iris looked at her parents sitting side-by-side like old friends and something that felt like envy crawled over Iris' skin. Joe and Francine's divorce was ancient history. They'd worked through the enemity, the anger, the reprisals years ago and settled into something a friendship.
"Eat," Francine said.
Iris looked down at her lunch tray and felt her lips quirk upward for a second, the first time she'd wanted to smile since Barry died. Her mom had made her a plate of fried fish, spaghetti, cabbage with carrots and a slice of her mom's chocolate ganache cake with little red rosettes.
It was a slice of chocolate cake, with ganache frosting and little red rosettes, just like the one she and Barry had sat eating at his mother's wake all those years ago. Just like the one, her mother had made to comfort him, and it was the first thing to make her smile since Barry died.
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