I used two songs in this fic and I would recommend listening to them. You'll know just when while reading. ;)
The first one is "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake. I actually used the Oscar's version, when he does a mash up with "Lovely Day", but you can listen to the original just fine. You can easily find the Oscar performance on YT.
The other one is "When You Say Nothing At All" by Alison Krauss.
Title is also a line from "Can't Stop the Feeling".
English isn't my native language, so I apologize in advance for the mistakes you'll find.
It was past 8 pm on a Friday night, and Lena was home. Something that was extremely unusual for her until a couple months ago, when she wouldn't leave the office on a business day until she was ready to get home and collapse into her bed.
About nine weeks ago, when Kara had texted to alert her it was she who was coming up on the elevator, not wanting to alarm her friend given the late hour, Lena knew immediately something was wrong. When Kara entered the office and Lena looked at her, she was up from her place at the desk in no time, and her arms encircled Kara at their own volition, not even giving her mind time to catch up with what was the most natural response to the sight of her friend in distress with tears streaking down her face.
Kara told her minutes later when they were already seated on the couch, Lena's arms still around her, that she had broken up with her boyfriend.
Lena didn't say she was sorry. That would have been a lie. She saw the way he treated her friend, she recognized that. Lena herself had been in Kara's shoes once, so she did what she could, she made sure Kara knew she was there for her.
"I didn't expect to feel this hollow. I knew it was coming, but I feel like I failed myself," Kara said after a few minutes of silence between them, of Lena just holding her and whispering words of reassurance in her ear.
"You haven't failed yourself, Kara. What you did tonight, that's taking care of yourself," Lena said, gently caressing her friend's arm, and continued, "I know it might not feel like that yet, but you'll get there." Lena added, remembering that was something she wished someone had told her when she went through the same thing with a boyfriend a couple of years prior. When Kara introduced Mon-El, well Mike, to her, Lena saw the man she had dated in him and she felt sorrow for Kara because she knew her friend would end up feeling heartbroken and guilty in the end, when all she did was open her heart and try to see the best in someone who claimed to love her.
Ever since that night, they had started to spend more time together. Friday nights were their thing now where they would go to either of their apartments and eat an unhealthy amount of junkie food and then they would watch movies Lena had never heard of, which was something appalling according to Kara who claimed they had to fix that straight away.
But on this particular Friday night, Lena was sitting on her couch looking extremely unamused.
"I wasn't expecting you tonight," Lena said upon hearing the sliding door of the balcony opening.
"Oh," Kara said unsure if she was possibly intruding on something. "Did you have other plans? I can go."
"No," Lena said with earnestness in her tone, turning her body to look at Kara who was still stationed near the door.
"No. Don't be silly. You know the open door policy I have for you at L-Corp extends to here as well. It's just that you told me you had some… things…" Lena used the tone she adopted to refer to Supergirl business without actually saying it out loud. "…to take care of, so I assumed our weekly movie night would have to be postponed."
"No way, Lee," Kara said shaking her head and smiling. "I look forward to this all week. Plus, I would've told you if I had to cancel. I just got held back, so I was surprised when I flew over and saw the lights on, since I usually just stop by L-Corp and we go to my place or come back here from there." Kara explained.
"I had my scheduled cleared on Friday nights ever since we started to meet on a weekly basis," Lena admitted somehow shyly as if it's not something Kara wasn't already suspicious of. "So by the time you text me I am ready to leave whenever you get there."
"You didn't seem to be enjoying yourself just now," Kara said with amusement in her intonation.
Lena sighed, "I'm…not. I'm just so used to getting home and going straight into my nightly routine before bed, that when I got here with hours to spare until the time I usually go to sleep, I simply didn't know what to do with myself, honestly."
"I tried a book, but my mind was running too wild in order for me to concentrate on the plot. So I turned on the TV and tried watching that Nikita show you told me about, but I couldn't get past the first few minutes because, well, it felt wrong to watch it without you. Not to mention that watching it by myself would mean I wouldn't have the Kara Eexperience with you pausing every few minutes to comment on something related to the story or some trivia you always bring up." Lena said the last part quirking her eyebrows and with a smirk in place.
"The Kara experience, huh?" Kara wiggled her eyebrows and pursed her lips.
"Don't let it get to your head, Miss Danvers. But, yeah, my watching experience would be lacking without you here." Lena admitted.
"Agreed," Kara said with glinting mischievous eyes, and suddenly she found herself being attacked by the throw pillow Lena had pressed to her chest until just a few seconds ago.
"Go change, so we can put all of this knowledge you seem to have about cinematic and TV productions to good use," Lena said to Kara who was on her Super suit.
"Yes, milady," Kara said bowing dramatically before going in the direction of the bedroom.
"Have you had something to eat before coming here, or do you still need to eat?" Lena said a little bit louder from her place in couch, even though she knew she could've said in a normal volume and Kara would still have heard her question.
"Yes to both," Kara answered as she walked back into the living room, having probably, most definitely, used her super speed to change into the pajamas she had claimed as her own. Lena glared and rolled her eyes at her friend in amusement, and not at all surprised with the answer.
"I had some left overs at the DEO before heading here, so, for now, just some ice cream and popcorn to enhance our movie experience tonight," Kara said already going towards the kitchen area in order to pop some popcorn in the microwave and to grab the containers of ice cream Lena had come to store in her fridge for nights like this one.
"And what does the Kara Experience have selected for tonight?" Lena asked as Kara returned to the living room.
Kara was introducing Lena to all of her favorite movies, and these past few weeks they were going through the romantic comedies. In the week prior they had watched Funny Face; the week before it had been You've Got Mail, which had both her and Lena a bit teared up by the end; the week before that, it had been Notting Hill. Tonight it would be another one of Kara's favorites.
"13 going on 30!" Kara said as she handed Lena the DVD case she had just produced out of a bag Lena hadn't even noticed she had on her when she arrived.
Lena wasn't surprised with the fact Kara had that movie on DVD. Every movie they have watched so far Kara had it in her personal film library. If she didn't have it, Alex did, and Kara would borrow it for a couple of days so her and Lena would watch it. Even if the movie was available in an online platform because, according to Kara, "The physical copy improves the experience, Lena."
"It has an awesome soundtrack, and Alex and I watched it a bazillion times when I first got here. Looking back, I think Alex just had this huge crush on Jennifer Garner. I can't really blame her, though."
"Hear hear," Lena said looking at the DVD case.
"Oh, we should watch Alias after we are done with the rom coms. If you think she looks hot on the cover of this DVD case, you're in for a treat with that show. She's so badass," Kara added as she handed Lena the popcorn ball she had retrieved form the beeping microwave.
"This is a standard romantic comedy, really, but it never failed to make me feel content after watching it. And…" Kara paused before sharing the personal connection she has with the movie they're about to see. "…it's also kinda, it's silly really, but seeing Jenna trying to fit in and then suddenly having to navigate this new adult world when just the night before she was still a teen, I, somehow, in a slight way, could connect to that back then?"
"It's not silly, Kara," Lena reassured her friend before adding, "We usually connect with stories because they help us make sense of the world we're immersed in or because we can see something of ourselves in them; otherwise they wouldn't have any meaning to us, not a significant one at least. Don't diminish your appreciation for the film because it might seem trivial for someone else. You found meaning; you established a connection between yourself and the story or a character, so it matters. And, as an intelligent woman and a reporter, you already know all of that." Lena punctuated with a soft smile and her trade mark eyebrows raise.
"So, no need to justify yourself. If there's one thing I've learnt from you in the time since we've became friends is that I can be vulnerable with you, I can show you parts of myself no one else has been privy to. And, you know, I'm learning a lot about you in these movie sessions as well. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with me." Lena spoke in a gentle humble tone.
"Anytime," Kara said with a shy smile and soft voice that mimicked her friend's, denoting to Lena she was happy to be sharing these parts of herself with her as well.
"So? The movie?" Lena said wobbling the case in her hands and extending it to Kara so she could put the disc inside the player.
When the movie started, they were seating side by side on the couch. Ice cream tubs were exchanged every few minutes; their hands met more than once while they were reaching for popcorn at the same time, making quite a mess of it, with a big amount of the snack ending up on the floor. And by the time the movie ended, Lena had her head on Kara's shoulder, a position not unfamiliar to the two of them, but Lena was usually more relaxed by the time the ending credits rolled, which clearly wasn't the case today.
"You okay?" Kara almost whispered the question.
"Yeah." Lena answered in the same tone.
"Lee." Kara prodded tenderly with her voice, and Lena exhaled.
"It's just… I treasure these moments so much, you have no idea how much it means to me, Kara," Lena admitted, and Kara squeezed the shoulder she had her hand on, the shoulder through which she pressed Lena closer to her.
"But?" Kara encouraged her leaning her head atop of her friend's.
"It also makes me think of how I didn't have any of this. As a child, I didn't have sleepovers or birthday parties, with people I knew and cared for, or people who cared for me, for that matter. It was always some fancy event so my mother and father could show off and make business deals. It was the same when I was invited to birthday parties of kids at school; it was a means to an end, never about the children. I've never had the chance to learn choreographed dances like we just saw in the movie because I didn't have any friends, and because I wasn't allowed to listen to many songs with lyrics in them either. Classical music was the only music allowed at the house. It makes me wish I'd had those things, a normal childhood or at least some sense of normalcy. I'm getting to experience some of those things now, with you in my life, and I'm just really grateful." Lena said taking the hand Kara had resting on her leg and squeezing it.
"Wait here," Kara said after dropping a ghost of a kiss on Lena's forehead before extricated herself from her friend. "I'll be right back."
Ever since movie nights between the two of them became a regular thing, Kara made sure to keep work away from her schedule on those nights. So it was her night off, when she was only to be bothered if National City was crashing down and no else could do the job of saving it, or if Alex or anyone in the team was injured or in need of rescuing. Kara worried when she decided to really take a night off every week, if it was selfish of her. But Alex had none of that and told her she was being selfish with herself if she didn't take time off to take care of herself, a time where she could just enjoy whatever it was she was doing without the imminence of a phone call. So, on those nights, she didn't even bother to have her phone on her, if the DEO needed to contact her, they would do it, phone or not.
A few seconds later, Kara was back in the living room with her phone in hand. She fumbled with it for a few seconds and then she walked to the sounding system Lena owned and plugged it in. She took the remote control and pressed a few buttons and the speakers came to life filling the room with some beat Lena vaguely recognized.
"What are you doing?" Lena asked intrigued with her friend's actions.
"We're having a spontaneous dance party, Miss Luthor. In our pajamas. We're crossing off items on that list of things you never did as a child." Kara said with a gleam in her eyes and a smile so bright Lena would do anything she asked of her in that moment. And if Lena wasn't already in love with her best friend, she would from that instant on.
Kara started moving on the spot. First her right shoulder timidly moving to the beat of the song, then her right feet joined in the movement and with interchanging movements between the balls of her feet and her heels as she started to dance her way towards Lena, who was still sitting on the couch, shaking her head in amused disbelief at her friend's antics.
When Kara crossed the room and got back to where Lena was, Lena was shaking her head, "Kara, I don't dance. I don't even go to clubs because it's too crowded and I don't feel comfortable."
"I don't see anyone other them us here, and do you feel comfortable around me?" Kara questioned.
"Of course I'm comfortable around you," Lena answered promptly.
"Then come here," Kara said extending her hand so Lena could grasp it.
Lena sighed and with squinting eyes, she relented to Kara's requests.
Kara took her by the hand and started to move again, instigating Lena to move with her, to take her cues and just follow the beats. Lena was still very reluctant at first, not being used to let loose and to just feel, so her movements were very discrete and mechanical and she wasn't exactly moving.
"Close your eyes," Lena heard Kara say.
"What?" Lena reacted with an expression that could be read as seriously?
"Just close your eyes, and trust me, and keep them closed until I signal you to open them again," Kara reassured her. "Please," Kara added and Lena was sure her friend was ready to appeal to her secret weapon also known as her pout.
So Lena did.
Kara took both of her friend's hands in hers and directed them to her hips. Then Kara positioned her own hands on Lena's hips and started to move. Soon both women were moving to the beats of the song, their whole bodies in motion. Lena's movements were coming more naturally now, Kara could feel her more relaxed and loose. Kara then let go of Lena's hip with one of her hands and grabbed one of Lena's into her own twirling her friend in a surprise move for the woman who had her eyes closed, leading her to open them in a surprised squeal. From that point on, Lena was able to let go and hands were thrown in the air, hips bumped, twirls were executed again, hands clapped. They were even jumping together at some points while dancing around in circles. Laughs filled the room. Kara was singing to the lyrics and Lena joined her at the riffs, not needing much time to grab a hold of what was being sung since most of the lyrics were fairly easy to memorize.
And while she was dancing, Lena thought back to her childhood. She thought about how throughout that time and her teen years, from the moment she became a Luthor by name, Lena had always had everything planned out for her, every private lesson she would take, every meal she would consume, the clothes she would wear, the kind of music she would listen to, the very few games she would be allowed to play. Everything was decided for her, everything was part of a schedule she had no control over.
As she became older, Lena didn't have anyone or rather didn't allow anyone to tell her what to do or what not to do. She took action in her own life and she led it in the way she seemed fit. There was no one telling her what to have for dinner, or that she shouldn't read, watch, listen to this or that material because it wouldn't fit in the narrative of her surname.
However, despite having had claimed the control of aspects of her life that had been in the hands of her mother or nannies for her entire life, Lena still felt like she missed out on a lot, how those commands to be poised, that a Luthor didn't do this or that, they still whispered back at her in the back of her mind, often times preventing her from really letting them go. But this side of her she was never allowed to meet, this side of her which she was never allowed to cultivate or to express was coming out, layer by layer, and Lena couldn't remember the last time she felt so liberated, so free as she did right then, in the middle of her living room, as she danced to an upbeat song she had only heard in passing in a store or while walking on the street, a song that she wouldn't have dreamt of ever having it played on her sounding system, let alone that she'd give in to its rhythm, to getting lost in its beats, a song that would lead her to get in touch with a side of her personality that she didn't
But this side of herself she was never allowed to meet, this side of her which she was never allowed to cultivate or to express was coming out, layer by layer. Lena couldn't remember the last time she felt so liberated, so free as she did right then, in the middle of her living room, as she danced to an upbeat song she had only heard in passing in a store or while walking on the street, a song that she wouldn't have dreamt of ever having it played on her sounding system, let alone that she'd give in to its rhythm, to getting lost in its beats. A song that would lead her to get in touch with a side of her personality that she didn't know she had. She didn't remember the last time she had just followed the music and let it lead her body to whatever beat it was coming next.
And she knew that the song was just a vessel, that Kara was responsible for bringing new meanings and possibilities into her life. Since she's got to know Kara, she's gained a friend, but she has also gained new lenses which have allowed her to see the world and herself under a new perspective.
When she moved to National City, she was expecting to dive into business. Rescuing her company from the claws of her surname was her main and only purpose besides getting a new start in a new city. Not in a million years would Lena have thought that a new start would englobe a friendship like this. Kara was a surprise in every sense of the word. Gentle, sweet, loving, kind, warm, brave, loyal, stunning Kara who dedicated time in her busy double life to be with her, who saw the best in her, who challenged her to explore new things, to look at herself under a different light, to project herself to the world in an unexpected way. Kara who had been able to drive and push her towards new meanings, new sensations, new feelings, new possibilities, new discoveries, and Lena had never been more thankful.
When the song ended for the second time, both women were laughing and they just collapsed on the couch, their chests heaving and their cheeks flushed from the sweet and liberating exertions of dancing.
Kara extended her hand and grabbed Lena's, "So how was it?"
"Thank you, Kara," was all Lena said, pairing it with a squeeze of Kara's hand.
But in those three words, Kara saw everything her friend wanted to convey. She said it with her gaze, in how they reflected a beam she hadn't seen before in those striking green eyes. She said with her reddened cheeks that held up a smile that wouldn't leave her lips ever since they started moving. She said it with the glow in her skin. She said it with the rapid steady beats of her heart, that didn't hide the thrill running through her veins.
"Rao, you're beautiful," Kara said in lieu of saying what one usually says when someone expresses gratitude to them. She didn't mean to, but she wasn't surprised either by what had been her response. Lena didn't seem alarmed either. If anything, by the way her eyebrows lifted and the way her eyes squinted wrinkling the skin around them, she seemed flattered.
And with those three little words Kara said as a response, the air seemed to become rarefied between them. With that simple admission, on that particular night, in the way Kara said it, with a tone that resembled very much reverence, in the way her eyes reflected it, everything that has been simmering just below the surface of friendship and something more had been freed and it was impossible to ignore it any longer.
Without letting go of Lena's hand, Kara scooted herself to the other side of the couch so she could be reclined against the throw pillows on its arm. She pulled her friend with her in the process, bringing Lena closer, and without any resistance from her, they were now only a few centimeters away from each other. They held each other's gaze and suddenly Lena surged forward using her free hand to rest it around Kara's nape in order to bring her closer and when she felt Kara's breath hitch and her body going limp, she brought her lips to softly join her friend's, bumping their noses in the process. Kara closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly and nipped at Lena's upper lip while bringing Lena closer by the small of her back, inviting her to keep going and to heighten their connection. Lena promptly got the message by adjusting her head and opening her mouth a little more in order to suck Kara's bottom lip into her own, Kara's tongue sweeping between her parted lips tentatively making its way into Lena's mouth and eliciting a moan neither of them was sure whose mouth it had escaped from when their tongues finally met. Lena was leaning heavily into Kara, their lips moving, her hands on each side of Kara's face, her thumbs caressing the other woman's cheeks, while Kara had one arm secured around Lena's middle and the other behind her neck, into Lena's hair, keeping their faces as close as possible, and their lips connected for as long as they could manage.
After a few minutes, when chests were heaving for an entirely different reason than it was a few minutes before when they were dancing, and their cheeks had a deeper shade of red stamping them, both women disconnected their lips, bringing their foreheads together while they allowed their breaths and heart rates to go back to their normal pace.
Kara moved so she could lay both of her legs on the couch and Lena could rest her entire body on the top of hers. Lena readjusted herself and then rested her head on Kara's clavicle with her arms around her friend's torso, while Kara had both arms securing Lena to her, their legs tangled on the couch.
"So, was this rom com sessions just a ploy to get me to this particular position, Miss Danvers?" Lena's husky voice, an evidence of their recent endeavors, whispered on Kara's neck, breaking their silence.
"Oh you caught me, Miss Luthor," Kara retorted, and both women laughed.
"And I thought I was too hyped up to go to bed after our dancing session," Lena said with a chuckle.
Kara then adjusted herself a bit and directed Lena's head to the center of her torso, positioning her friend's head, was that title an appropriate one now after the activities they had just indulged themselves in Kara thought to herself, to the middle of her chest so Lena's ear could rest just above where Kara's heart was, so that Lena could listen to the frantic thumping behind her ribcages.
"I thought I would show it's not just yours. I can feel my heart beating in my ears. This was quite the first kiss," Kara said as she leaned down to kiss Lena's head.
"I have to say, Kara, you are quite an adept kisser." Lena softly kissed the spot above Kara's heart.
"I hate to break this spell we've put ourselves into, but I can also feel my bladder and that's not a pleasant feeling," Lena said extricating herself from Kara's arms after a few minutes of just enjoying themselves in each other's arms. "I'll be right back," Lena caressed Kara's cheek and started walking in the direction of the restroom.
A few minutes later, when Lena walked back to the living room, she found Kara near her music paraphernalia once again.
"Oh, there you are," Kara said as she sensed Lena re-entering the room.
"What are you doing there, plotting another dance party?" Lena asked teasingly.
"Yes, actually. But a different kind this time," Kara said with a grin that could move mountains, Lena thought. "I'm not ready to go to bed yet, and I think you're not either?" Kara asked with a tilt of her head and a tone that only left room for Lena to agree with a nod, because yeah, of course Kara would have known the answer already. There was no way they'd be able to fall asleep when their minds and bodies were that excited. They needed to soothe themselves first if they planned on getting any sleep that night.
Lena caught herself thinking of other ways to exhaust their bodies into a dreamless sleep, but she liked this unruffled pace they'd seemed to have set for themselves, one discovery at a time, no rush, no pressure.
"Yeah, what kind that would be this time?" Lena prompted Kara, approaching her from behind and wrapping her arms around Kara's waist and resting her cheek on the other woman's scapula.
"Oh, you already seem to be very well aware of what kind," Kara said bringing one arm behind her, resting her hand on Lena's nape.
Kara hit play on the remote she was holding, and then she deposited it back on the shelf and placed the hand that was previously occupied by the prop over Lena's as a soft melody filled the room. They stayed like that for a few seconds, until Lena changed her position so she could have her back pressed against Kara's front. Kara wrapped her arms around Lena and their hands intertwined by Lena's lower stomach. Kara's head rested on Lena's shoulder, her face close to the neck of the woman in her arms.
With their increasing touches, longer hugs, cuddles, platonic sleepovers, lingering looks and stolen glances over the past few months, they've known for a while in an unprofessed agreement where their relationship was headed. So in that moment, instants after their first kiss, there was no doubt this was something they were both ready to pursue.
After a few minutes of them swaying to the music, breaths and heart beats synced to one another's, Lena brought up what they hadn't said out loud, but had agreed upon unequivocally. Because while they were not ready to voice those wishes until now, their actions had been more eloquent than words could have ever been before they got to this point in this moment right now.
"Does this mean we're both there, Kara?" Lena asked without having to preamble, already knowing Kara was aware of what she was referring to. Because even though Lena knew they were ready, that Kara was ready, it needed to be said out loud after the events of this particular night.
"It means I have more than friendly feelings for you, if I hadn't made that clear yet," Kara said and it elicited a chuckle out of Lena. "And yeah I'm ready, beautiful," the term of endearment coming out as soft and loving as it had in the first time Kara let it slip unexpectedly a few weeks ago, and that every now and then appeared in their conversations face to face or over the phone or in the ever increasing texts. Or in that way earlier this evening, that new way in which it was impossible for them to not to take another step.
"Yes. You have made that perfectly clear. And are you sure?"
"And I'm pretty sure it's mutual, you know. I mean, I have this hunch," Kara accentuated the last word with a dramatic raise of her eyebrows she was sure Lena couldn't see, but the intonation of her voice conveyed the playful meaning she was attributing to what she had just said. Because of course she knew Lena was interested. Of course Lena shared the same feelings. Lena who had been so loving, kind, and understanding, letting Kara dictate the pace they would move forward with their relationship in these past few months they had become closer and ever since Kara broke things off with her Daxamite ex-boyfriend. "And yeah, I am if you're still interested."
"Your hunch happens to be correct, and yes I am very much still interested, as evidence shows."
"Mmm, that's good to hear," Kara said nuzzling Lena's neck.
"So now?" Lena asked.
"Now we delve into these feelings," Kara answered without a beat.
"Yeah? And what would that entail, Miss Danvers?" Lena questioned in a playful tone.
"Well, I think there will be a lot of this," Kara emphasized their swaying motion, "and this," Kara added as she turned around in order to softly join her lips to Lena's. "And a date tomorrow evening if you're free?"
"I'd love to," Lena answered connecting their lips again.
"And many," Kara interrupted her answer to peck Lena's lips, "many," and another kiss, "many," Kara pecked Lena's lips one final time before continuing, "more than friendly things in our future, if you'll have me."
"Always," Lena said and brought her lips to join Kara's as they continued to sway in each other's arms.
There was no surprise in the way they were all cuddled up on Lena's bed when the next morning found them, as that had become a regular occurrence every time they had a movie night. The novelty was in the fact that their clothes, usually on their bodies when the early sunlight found its way into Lena's bedroom, were scattered all over the floor. And if you asked the couple later on, they'd say that they had tried with every ounce of resistance in their bodies to keep things slow, but patience wasn't their stronger suit and now that they knew they were on the same page at the same time, there was no holding back anymore.
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