Why do I hurt my favorite character so? I don't know, but I do and I do it well. ^_^ Sequel to 'Okay'
Warnings: Drug use. Violence.
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Shaking his head Dwayne closed the door to Chris's bedroom before slumping against the wall. The younger man had ended up falling asleep in his arms earlier and he had finally gotten him into his bed. Though, if he was honest, it was more passed out than asleep.
It wasn't the first time that he had put a passed out Chris to bed. That usually came after a night of partying or a hard case where the younger man drank too much. The man had done the same thing for him as well.
That was what happened when you had someone at your back. They took care of you when things took a turn. At least they did if they knew that something was wrong. He was never going to forgive himself for not noticing.
Dwayne had always taken care of people. It was a passion that had come from his mother. Feeding people that came into his home. Making sure that they knew he was there to talk to. It was the thing he truly loved doing.
It was the reason that he became a cop in the first place. He had a position where he was able to help people both dead and alive. He couldn't think of a better way to spend his life and he never wanted to give it up.
Everyone once in awhile though it was thrown in his face that he failed. He failed his people and he failed his town. As much as he hated to admit it he was human and he was bound to make mistakes sometimes.
He had never thought that his blindness would result in Christopher falling so hard. He was never going to be able to get the sound of him pleading for drugs or the sight of him shaking because withdraw set in out of his mind.
That went against everything that the younger man was. He was strong and sure of himself. He made sure that he never wavered in the face of danger. At the same time though he was soft enough to be a shoulder to cry on for the victims and their families.
Over the years he had watched the man grow into who he was now and he was beyond proud. The first time they met he knew that he could be more than he was. All he needed was a little push in the right direction.
Now though he wondered if he had pushed too hard. Was it possible that he had done something that had caused the man to fall into this? Could he have saved his friend if he had just paid a little more attention to him?
The questioned swirled in his mind as he pushed himself off the wall and walked into the living room. Everything was eerily quiet now that Christopher was passed out in his room. 'Chris' and 'quiet' really didn't belong in the same sentence.
Dwayne's eyes darted around surveying the damage done. It looked like a tornado had come through and ripped everything apart. He could hardly believe the man had been so angry and desperate that he caused the damage on his own.
Bending down he picked up a photo of Chris with Laurel. It was of her eighth tenth birthday party. Chris was carrying her on his back while swinging a fake sword at the camera as if he was a pirate.
She had loved that picture and kept it on her dresser since she had gotten it. When she left for college though she had a second on printed out for him. She had said that she wanted her big brother to have a copy too. He could still remember the tears in Chris's eyes as he pulled her into a hug.
The frame was broken now. The photo covered in drops of blood that he didn't want to question. He could just barely make out their faces as they laughed at the silliness with such honest, happy hearts.
With a shaky breath he placed the photo face down on the coffee table. He couldn't look at it right now. He already felt as if he was going to breakdown at any moment. Which was the last thing he could do right then.
No, right now he had to start cleaning the mess up. It wouldn't be long before the younger man woke up again and he'd rather not have shards of glass littering the floor when that happened. He hurt himself enough already.
Steeling himself Dwayne looked around the room taking note of everything that needed to be done. There were going to be a lot of patches in the wall and a lot of things would have to be replaced, but… He really couldn't come up with a positive in this.
Not being able to put it off anymore he started to walk around the room picking up the bigger objects that a broom wouldn't be able to handle. Books and the pages that had gotten torn out. Framed photos that were smashed beyond recognition.
With every item he picked up he felt his heart breaking a little more. Now that he knew what was going on it was easy to tell that the younger man had been abusing his pills. It wasn't just easy actually. It was a punch in the face. Literally.
As sad as it was he knew just how common this story was. A person gets hurt bad enough to take painkillers and the next thing they know they can't live without them. It happened every day and it would continue happening every day.
It was heartbreaking to see the results of that addiction and it wasn't the first time he'd seen it. Not even close to the first. One of the first thoughts that came into a cops mind when they got to a scene was if it was because of love, money, or drugs. It was almost always those three.
Even with that thought process though it wasn't the first thing Dwayne had thought when Chris went off on him. He just never equated the younger man with drugs of any kind. Cade had though. Very easily. Which meant that this wasn't the first time.
He couldn't figure out how he had not seen anything. Ten years of friendship and he had never thought that the man could have had anything to do with drugs. He wondered what else about him he had missed.
Okay, so they both had their fair share of secrets. Ones that they kept from everyone that came into their lives. It was just what humans did. The truly important ones, the ones that could come up in a case, though? Those ones they talked about.
From the fact that Dwayne's father was in prison for very illegal things to the fact that Chris's father had abused him. They knew about those and they kept an eye out when cases like that came across the team.
Drugs had never been brought up. In the cop part of his mind he couldn't blame the man for not being open about it. Having a past with drugs in their kind of work was not something you shared with anyone.
That didn't make it hurt any less. They weren't just cops anymore. They were family. Chris should have known that he wouldn't do anything but watch out for him. He should have known that he would be okay.
He hated thinking that if he had just done something different than the man wouldn't be suffering. If he had known that Chris had a past with substance abuse then he would have been able to help. They never would have even been in this situation if he had just told him.
Of course it sounded so easy to him. Just talk about it and everything would be fine. That wasn't the truth though. He might not have held it against his friend, but he didn't start as an NCIS agent. He was a cop. Not just a cop either. A narco cop.
He never would have gotten that position if they knew his past. It would have been too risky. If he was honest he knew that the man never would have been hired as a cop at all if anyone know about his past. No one would have trusted him. Which was the most important thing about being a cop.
Then there was the fact that the younger man was so damn prideful. He was so used to being the strong one. Whether it was because of his father's abuse or because of his brother's illness he was the one that everyone turned to.
He had taken than and run with it. Never admit that you were hurting in any way. It was a weakness and if anyone knew about your weakness than you could bet they were going to use it against you at some point in time.
Even when it was clear to everyone that he was hurt. He could be bleeding and broken and he would brush if off as it it was nothing. Because he had to make it be nothing. For the safety of his family and himself.
Him having a problem with drugs was something that could easily be exploited. If anyone was to ever find out than it would be the end of them all and he would never risk that. So he had decided to never say a thing about it.
The man was dragged out of his thoughts when he heard movement in the house. His heart leap into his throat knowing that he was going to have face Chris. He wasn't completely sure he was ready to see the man yet or not.
It wasn't as if he had a choice though. He had already failed him once. He wasn't going to do that again by doing something stupid and walking out. Chris needed him and he was going to be there no matter what.
Taking a deep breath he made his way back to the bedroom. He didn't bother to knock knowing that he probably wouldn't get an answer. Pushing the door open he slowly made his way to the bed and sat on the edge.
"Christopher," Dwayne greeted his voice the same as when he talked to a sick Laurel, "How you feeling?"
"H-Hurts," came the whispered reply.
Without thinking he reached out and ran a hand over the shaking man. He could just barely see the brown hair peaking out from under the blankets he had put over him earlier. He looked more like a child in that moment than Dwayne had ever seen him look before.
A strong hand came out from the blanket cocoon to grip his thigh almost painfully tight. Reaching down he linked their hands together letting the man hold on as the room was filled with muffled sobs.
His heart ached hearing the normally strong man. This wasn't the Chris that he knew and he hated it. He hated knowing that even though he wanted nothing more than to take the pain away there was nothing he could do.
"I'm so sorry, Chris," the older man replied squeezing his hand, "I'm sorry."
"Ma-Make it st-stop," he pleaded between cries.
"I… I can't, brother. I can't make it stop."
As soon as that come out of his mouth he felt the other man stop. His body was still shaking but it was as if everything else had frozen. Slowly he pulled his hand away and moved so he was no long under the blankets.
"Get out," he growled his blue eyes burning with anger, "Now."
"Chris..."
"Leave me the fuck alone!"
"No. You can get angry at me. You can yell and kick and anything else you can think of. I'm not going anywhere."
"I ain't your newest project, Pride. If I want you gone you go."
"And then what? What do you do after I leave? Go back to tearing up your home looking for those pills? They're not here and you know it. So what are you going to do if I leave? What's your big plan?"
For a second Dwayne was sure that the man was going to start swinging again. He knew that he was pushing more than he probably should. At the same time though he knew that he wouldn't listen unless he pushed.
Like a switch though the anger washed away and Chris was curling into a ball crying. It was a bit of an emotional whiplash and it killed him to hear the pain filled sobs. Not knowing what else to do he pulled his friend into a hug rocking them both gently.
"King," Chris cried his voice wrecked.
"I know," he attempted to soothe his eyes shut tightly to stop himself from crying, "I got you."
"Make it stop. Please. Make it stop."
"It's okay. Shh. It's okay. I'm not letting go."
"They have to be in the office. If we just go we can..."
"No. I'm not getting you the pills, Christopher. I won't get you the pills."
"Need them."
"No, you don't. You're going to be okay. I promise."
"I can't do this again."
"You're not alone this time. You're going to be okay. I'm right here. I'm not letting go."
"Please. Don't make me do this again."
"You're not alone, Chris. You're going to be okay. I promise. I promise you're going to be okay. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay."