Why do I hurt my favorite character so? I don't know, but I do and I do it well. ^_^ Sequel to 'Okay'

Warnings: Drug use. Violence.

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Cade's fingers drummed nervously on his knee as the cab slowly made its way to his brother's address. It had taken him longer than he liked to get down to New Orleans, but he was only a few blocks from seeing the younger man.

That thought normally filled him with some kind of joy. He loved his little brother with all his heart. The man was his best friend and his confidant. He was the one person that never made him feel like he was a disappoint.

With Chris he knew that he didn't have to pretend to be someone that he wasn't anymore. He did, of course, but he didn't have to. No matter what was going on he knew that his little brother had his back through it.

It hurt to think about all the times that the younger man he put himself on hold to take care of him. It wasn't an easy thing and he never should have been forced to do that. Actually he hadn't been asked. He just took the responsibility and ran with it.

That was the type of person that his brother was. As bad as it sounded when he had gotten the call from Pride he had thought that it was the call he had been dreading. The 'I'm sorry, but Chris is dead' call.

It wasn't that far of a stretch to think that that call was going to come some day. Chris wasn't just a cop he was a person that threw himself into every situation with an open heart and the knowledge that he wasn't going to stop until everyone was safe.

He knew his brother well enough to know that he'd be more than happy to get himself killed if it meant saving someone else. It was a terrifying truth, but he respected him for it. Right after he felt the need to smack him a few times.

That was the image that he had of his baby brother. The loyal, hardworking cop that took saved people. That image though was slowly being chipped away until he was left with a man that he couldn't say he even knew.

When he had first found out about the drug use he had been beyond shocked. It was such a human thing to do. He didn't know when he stopped seeing the man as a brother, but he had. He went from 'human' to 'superhero'.

He knew it was a little odd since the younger brother usually had the hero worship, but he couldn't help himself. Chris was just the type of person that he wanted to look up to whether he was older or younger than him.

Maybe that was when all of this started. He quit seeing the man as a human with feelings and fears. Between him and their mother they had turned him from a child into a parent and that wasn't fair to him.

That was part of why he left. He had wanted to get some space and think about everything that had happened. It might have been years ago that he had problems with drugs, but Cade hadn't wanted to mess anything up.

For the first time in a long time the man was actually opening up to him about something personal. Scratch that. He was finally opening up to someone about something personal. It had to be handled with care.

Chris was not the type of person to talk about his feelings. He had never been able to be that person. Always being so strong and in control. He had left so he could get some information on how to help his brother. That had backfired.

If he hadn't left than he would have been able to help the man. He would have been there for whatever it was that had made him fall. None of this would have happened if he had just stayed and been the big brother he was supposed to be!

The cab finally came to a stop and Cade jumped out practically throwing some money at the driver. His mother had taught him not to be that rude, but he had more important things on his mind than being nice.

As the cab pulled away though he felt himself slowing down and staring at the house. He had been in that house so many times it wasn't funny, but for the first time he felt himself hesitate. He was terrified to know what was behind those doors.

Before it was always him that was the messed up one. He knew that walking through those doors he was in a safe place. Chris would help him in any way that he needed. He never had to doubt that.

This time it was Chris that needed help and he was there to give it to him. At least he hoped. He hadn't really been on the other side of the equation before. As much as he wanted to help he wasn't sure that he could.

Even as he thought that though he knew that he couldn't turn back and run. His brother was there for him through everything and he wasn't going to let him down again. He was never going to let him down again.

Licking his lips he made his way to the front door and pushed it open. He didn't really know what he was expecting, but for some reason it wasn't his brother's boss sitting on the couch looking sadder and more frustrated than he thought possible.

It took a second to steel himself before he was walking further into the house. The older man's head slowly lifted before he was given a tired smile. Pride looked as if he hadn't slept in day. Which was probably true.

"P-Pride," Cade tried only to have his voice break.

"Cade," the older man greeted his back popping as he climbed to his feet, "It's good to see you. Even under these conditions."

"These conditions? I'm guessing it's what I thought then?"

"Yes. Prescription pain medication."

"Oh. I was hoping. That's better than last time right? Those will be easier to kick?"

"I don't… We haven't really gotten around to talking about the finer details. He's… He's not doing so well."

Nodding his head Cade kneaded his fingers into the back of his neck. He wanted to tell the older man everything, but at the same time it wasn't his story to tell. It wasn't as if he knew any real details either.

He was really starting to hate how secretive his brother was. He knew that he himself wasn't much of a people person and that he ran away a lot, but he did talk when he needed to. He didn't always take his meds, but he did talk.

It was something that, ironically, Chris had told him to do. He was okay with the fact that Cade hated his pills. Or he at least accepted it. He might bring up the pills every once in awhile, but it was the talking that he really pushed.

"I'm sorry, Cade," Pride said breaking through his thoughts, "I should have seen it."

"It's Chris," Cade shrugged not blaming the man, "If he didn't want you to see it then you weren't going to."

"He's part of my team. I should have known."

"He's my brother and I didn't. Not until a few months back and that wasn't even because he wanted to tell me."

"Then why did he?"

"Our Mama sent a box of things for him and he was throwing it all away. I saw a little box that he used to treasure when he was younger. So I grabbed it before he could. Found the baggies inside."

"Baggies? Of what?"

"Heroin."

"Heroin?"

"Yeah. That's what he was addicted to before."

"How'd he get clean?"

"I don't know. He didn't tell me that. Just said that he got clean and that it was in the past. You know how Chris is. If I had pushed he would have clamed up. I never would have gotten any answers. Ever."

"I know. It's hard talking with Chris about himself sometimes. He doesn't like thinking about himself at all."

"Tell me about it."

Both men fell silent once more. For as much as the both wanted to say without Chris there there was nothing to say. They could sit there and speculate until their last breath, but they wouldn't get the full story until he told them.

Cade wasn't sure that was ever going to happen though. Pride wasn't joking when he said that his brother didn't talk about himself. In all truth he would be content to never worry about himself at all.

It was only because he needed to be in top condition to do his job that he was. He was always much more focused on other people and they best way to help them. It was no wonder why he had joined law enforcement.

Looking down the hallway Cade's eyes locked on the mostly closed door of his brother's room. It was almost pitch black in there and if there were any sounds coming from the inside he was too far away to make out any of them out.

"Is he..." Cade started before stopping to sigh, "How is he?"

"Honestly? I don't know," Pride shook his head falling back to the couch himself, "He's not the Chris either of us know."

"How is he then?"

"Angry at everything. He's taken a few swings at me when I go try to help him. It's not that he doesn't know it's me, but he knows that I'm not bring the pills so I'm part of the problem. He's scared. He knows that he's not acting like himself. I think a part of him is afraid he's turning into your father. Mostly though he's in a lot of pain. His head is killing him so I had to block out the windows in his room so the sun and the bird songs couldn't get in. He's not eating well and when he does it comes right back up. He's just… He's not having a good time right now."

"Should I… Maybe I…"

Before Cade for finish his sentence the house was filled with the sound of someone falling to the floor and retching. Instantly both men were up and heading into Chris's room. Pride turned on the light in the hallway to help them see.

It wasn't a pretty sight. Chris was on his hands and knees dry heaves racking his body. He looked so much smaller than Cade had ever seen. He never would have thought that the man in front of him was his baby brother.

He watched for a moment as Pride knelt down and softly began to talk to him. From where he was Cade couldn't hear a word, but he watched as his brother jerked his head to the side before all but clasping onto the ground.

Not knowing what else to do Cade sat down and reached out for Chris's hand. The younger man jerked away from him instantly before his eyes looked up. Wild looking blue eyes locked on his own a sob falling from his lips.

"C-Cade?" the man stuttered out sounding hopeful enough that it broke his heart.

"Hey, baby brother," he whispered smiling softly, "I missed you."

A beat passed before the younger man was throwing himself at him. Chris buried his face in the older man's chest his arms wrapped tightly around him. Without hesitating he gathered his brother in his arms holding him just as tightly.

They hadn't done something like this since Chris was a toddler. He used to have nightmares so bad that he'd wake up screaming. Cade was the first one to him every single time. He remembered falling asleep on the floor holding his brother as he cried.

"Cade," Chris pleaded his voice muffled, "Hurts."

"I know, baby brother," he replied resting his head on the younger man's, "I know it does."

"Make it stop. Please. Make it stop."

"Shh. I got you, Chris. You're safe now. I'm not letting go."

"Promise?"

"I swear to you, Chris. I'm not letting go. I'm never letting you go."