Chapter 7
Gorman
Day 1
Dear Journal,
Bah! Today was an atrocious day for me, as well as the Gorman Troupe! It started with me and my group waking up at the Stock Pot Inn. Today was going to be a big day. I was supposed to speak with the Madame and finish the arrangements for our performance at the Carnival. Everything was going to plan until I entered the meeting itself. Siting there was not only the Madame, but also a quite chubby Zora. When I began my conversation with her, the Madame said our performance had been canceled. Trying to keep my cool in front of her, I asked when and why this had been done. She said that it had been dismissed just before I entered. The reason why, she said, could be explained be the Zora sitting next to her. He both turned towards him and he began talking. He said that his name was Toto, and that he is the manager of the Indigo-Go's. Already I knew he was important. After all, the Indigo-Go's are the most famous of any Zora band, and were my inspiration. He continued, saying that some incident caused the singer Lulu to lose her voice. We asked him to specify, but he denied, claiming it would take far too long to explain the details. To put it short, he said, they were not able to perform since their singer could not sing. The Madame carried his thought, telling me that as a result of them not being able to perform, my troupe would also be canceled. After this conversation I almost begged her to keep my performance going, but she said no. She also told me that I was annoying her. Full of anger, I walked out and headed to the Milk Bar. I spoke with the owner to ask if I could just sit and think, and he said that's fine. So I sat, and sat, and I sat some more. I spent hours and hours just contemplating and thinking, mainly on how I could tell the troupe about the event that had just occurred. After all, we had practiced our routine for weeks! More weeks than I can count on one hand! After all this time, how could I bear to tell them that it had all been for nothing? I still have not told them yet, despite how long I had been pondering the idea for. So I sat and sat, thought and thought until 10:00 at night, when the bar opened. And then I started drinking away my sorrows. Oh goddess, what was I thinking? I had been off milk for five years, and then I took that first gulp. Granted, it wasn't much, but it was still milk none the less! I'm so disgusted by myself! I think I've lost my will to write any further today.
Day 2
Dear Journal,
If yesterday was horrible, today was just as horrible, if not more so! After coming back to the Inn from the bar, I wrote the last entry and slept. And I continued to sleep until 6:00 at night! However, this was good for me, as needed to get over the previous night. As soon as I woke up, however, I walked downstairs to the lobby. Here I stood, and stood for three hours straight. And I was not just loitering, either. I was thinking once again about the fate and future of the troupe, though this time I was pondering something else as well. In my head, I was deciding whether or not I should return to the Milk Bar. Well, I wasn't deciding. The "thoughts" were just impulses egging me on to just do it. Foolishly, I let these impulses control me after a while, and so I went to the bar. I cannot even begin to describe the shame for the things I did in that bar. I sulked on my stool while holding a glass of either regular milk or the pint of Chateau Romani I bought for two hundred rupees. I told my entire life story to the bartender, someone I hardly knew. Everything, just about everything about how I got to that stool was rambled on about, including my relationship with my dear brothers. After I explained, I then stated how I now regretted even entering show business. Whether or not I agree with this drunken statement I have yet to decide. I just kept talking and sulking and drinking the whole night. After hours of this, I eventually left, still not feeling my best, and went back to the Inn. I finally told the crew that our show had been canceled. I also told them to pack their bags since we were leaving the next day. After that, I packed my belongings, and hastily wrote this entry. I think I need some sleep now, goodnight.
Day 3
Dear Journal,
While today was not as hard of a day as yesterday or the day before, it was a hard day none the less. Me and my troupe had to wake up early to check out and head off. We had not come up with a plan on where our next show would be, so we practically travelled around aimlessly. Since my brothers were nearby, I figured we might as well camp there for now. As we entered Milk Road, I started to feel a little nostalgic. After all, I had not even visited in years, at least since I left to join show business. When we arrived, my brothers had faces of shock and happiness. It was quite strange seeing this from the two that rarely smiled. They then ran over to me and bombarded me with questions, and also statements about how much they missed me and such. Again, a very rare thing to hear from my brothers. After a while, they calmed down and finally noticed my group. They asked who they were, and I gave a proper introduction, saying that they were my troupe. I then proceeded to explain everything that happened in the time since I left. At the end of it, I said how we didn't have anywhere to go, and that they happened to be nearby. I asked them then if we could camp here for a few days, until we could find another job. After hesitating for a second, they said that we could, and let us into the home. We put down our bags and we started to talk and chat for hours. We had conversations while they were working, while they were making dinner, and while we ate it. And the whole time we were smiling and having a good reunion. However, I wasn't as happy as I looked. You see, business will be hard for us to find for longer than a few days. People are not willing to be entertained now, since they are so paranoid about this damn moon. What's worse is that the tremors today wont help their nerves at all, and will further only further delay opportunity. At least I have my brothers. They might give us a job if we can't find one for long enough. Though, they know how terrible I am with farm work, and they might not trust my troupe. Also, they are rather well known for being stingy. Oh well, I have no need to dawdle on this for now. I don't think I have any more time for writing either. My brothers have just called me for a drink of milk to celebrate my return.