I don't own OUAT. And for people who asked: if I get inspiration or someone gives me an idea or whatever, then I will continue older stories like Aphrodite Business ; )
So, it turns out being a swan is basically the worst. The other swans are assholes that attempt to attack Emma if she gets too close (accidentally, because she actually does value her life a little bit) , the only thing swans eat are apparently roots/ plants – all things that still taste horribly - and Emma definitely isn't a herbivore. In fact, she is almost starving before she finally starts watching the other swans to find out which food she can eat without accidentally poisoning herself.
Oddly enough, the only thing that makes it bearable is the Queen's visits.
Her visits are irregular, sometimes several times a day, sometimes not for days. Sometimes she shows up when it is starting to get dark and startles Emma by appearing near the water really suddenly. Sometimes it is really early, when the sun is ironically creating a halo behind the queen.
She throws bread and taunts and smiles with all her teeth. Sometimes, she summons a mirror and forces Emma to look – "I will hurt them if you don't, dear- at anything. It can be something mundane like people eating at Granny's , but it is her family far more often.
The queen delights in showing her Snow, Snow who is sending the dwarves on wild goose hunts and asking Belle whether she knows anything who could have done this and needs to be forced to go to sleep. She is still assuring everyone that they will find Emma, but it is obvious that she is hurting and afraid.
All of this should hurt Emma and it does. She hates seeing her family in pain and hates it being because of her even more. She gets angry and goes for the queen, mostly because she knows she won't really be able to hurt her anyways.
But sometimes it isn't that horrible.
Like the time that the other swans were bullying two birds building a nest and Emma had tried to protect the poor birds. So stupidly she had tried to chase the kind of evil (seriously these swans took far too much pleasure in ruining the nest over and over again) swans. The herd of swans had really not appreciated her ruining their funny game.
So she had to flee, clumsily slapping with her wings to get away from the furious swans and their demented honking had been awful . Then a fireball had flown past her and hissed as it hit the water. While the queen had thrown fireball after fireball to apparently protect Emma, she had taken the opportunity to rush to the shore.
And it had been stupid, because slaying dragons and being face-to-face with ogres was pretty much in her job description but she had reached for dry land a little bit desperately. She had pretty much just been making water splash everywhere in her slight panic and then-
Warm hands had grabbed her and hoisted her from the water. "Calm down, you idiot" the queen had said and she had sounded exactly like Regina so Emma had been able to blissfully relax (and throw the queen a glare, because she was certainly not an idiot)
And yes, moments like that had been far and few in between (also, the queen had dropped her in the water not long after that, which was basically like falling from a building) but still. They were a lot better than daydreaming about hamburgers and avoiding swans that were really getting too close to her.
There were a few moments the queen was sassy and dry but in an almost teasing and friendly way that made Emma unable to think about anything but Regina. It made her head hurt, because how much of the queen was Regina and how much of Regina was the queen?
Honestly, at certain moments she could almost forgot Regina and the queen weren't the same.
Right now, she forgot a little.
Among the many swans Emma loathed, there was one she loathed especially. The others were bullies that wouldn't leave other, small birds alone but this one was worse. It kept circling her, getting closer whenever she wasn't paying attention
Freaky sneaking bastard.
Even if she clumsily swam away from it, or even tried to hit it, it persisted. It would get closer and closer to her and then the freaking thing would do this weird move where it pulled its head underwater and then preening.
At first, it had been kind of funny. Now, after like weeks of this she was really getting tired of this weird swan that kept bothering her. Once again, it was doing its swimming-around-you-creepily thing, closing and closing in on her even if she swam away again and again.
She finally stopped and flapped her wings, hoping it would scare the swan like the other swans doing it scared her. It just lingered and kept closer. She swam away again, but she had still not really gotten the hang of that so-
There was a low chuckle. When Emma glanced to her right, the queen was standing by the shore with a really pretty- shut up brain- smile on her face. She seemed almost happy today. " Are you having fun with your little friend?".
Emma flapped her wings again when the swan in question approached her. How do I get this thing to leave me alone?
The queen actually laughs when the swan starts to do the head-dipping-preening thing again. She keeps laughing and Emma swims towards her to see what the Hell she is so amusing. She sits down next to the queen, who stares down at the muddy earth with distaste before summoning a blanket and sitting down gently.
She turns and twists the mirror in her hands and Emma looks almost longingly at the pond, because she really does not want to see her family hurt. Again. But she cannot stop herself from watching when the queen summons an image either.
It is Regina. She is in her vault, books scattered around them and empty flasks on the ground. There is also glass on the ground – Jesus, what if Regina cuts herself- which makes Emma think fondly of Regina's look when they were making that memory potion.
Regina herself has looks furious and frustrated as she throws a book down on a pile of them.
" Useless. All useless!"
There are bags under her eyes that the make-up cannot fully hide and Emma really wants to be there and like crack a joke about her vault being a mess. Anything to make her smile, because she looks like she hasn't in days.
Then are footsteps and a voice that makes Emma want to reach through the damn mirror even more. " Mom? "
And there is Henry and gods he is such a great kid, because he is carrying a take-out bag from Granny's that no doubt has Regina's favourite. Regina immediately relaxes a bit and smiles even as she scolds him.
" Henry. You know I do not want you to be in my vault".
" Yeah, I know. Dangerous magical artefacts and dead people".
He smiles at her and Emma feels horrible, because that is not his usually easy grin. He looks tired and kind of scared as well. Regina obviously also notices, because she rushes towards him and hugs him.
"We will find her Henry" she promises.
He pulls back after a while, takes a salad and a burger – that has Regina frown but keep silent- and walks towards the small table that is invisible beneath powders and flasks and pages and things that could be anything. He starts to clean a bit, after handing Regina her salad.
" I know we will. It is kind of our family's thing isn't it?" Emma cannot see his face anymore as he tries to make space on the table, but there is something funny about his voice. It sounds wrong somehow.
Regina seems to know more than she does (always better at being a mom and that thought makes it feel like she in a too-wild rollercoaster) because she just sighs knowingly. She waves her hand and there is suddenly another small table and two comfortable chairs.
Henry just stands there, not turning around or anything and Emma feels her feathers start to ruffle, feels a kind of fury she has not felt since she was a teenager in a system that was always messing her up. Her kid should not feel so obviously wrong. And she should not be so unable to help him!
Only a bit of that helpless fury leaves at Regina gently grabbing Henry's shoulders and turning him around. It all gets much worse when she realizes Henry is crying though.
The only thing that makes this even the slightest bit bearable is how right Regina reacts, how she just hugs Henry and rubs his back as he trembles. How she can obviously make him feel better.
He pulls back after a long time and Regina wipes at his tears. "I just don't understand " he says, biting at his lip. " It has been weeks. We have questioned everyone and searched everywhere and you've used all your spells- why can't we find her? "
" I don't know Henry. Perhaps- ".
" I know what you think! Perhaps someone is hiding her, or perhaps she has been taken out of the city. But I have been over this, again and again and- ". His voice breaks and he looks really indecisive for a moment. " the obvious conclusion would be she left".
Emma feels like that time the football star punched her into her gut after she called him names. Like she has internal bleeding after that one guy turned out to be a little more dangerous than she had thought.
Henry thinks I would leave him?
" Oh no, Henry she wouldn't. She would never leave you, darling" Regina insists and she sounds so sure. And of course she would be, because Regina loves Henry more than anything. She could never imagine anyone leaving him.
" Emma might have her flaws , but she would never leave u- her family" . Regina touches Henry's chin gently. " She has stayed in this town for you Henry".
" I guess she did".
"We will figure this out Henry".
" Thanks mom".
" You are welcome sweetheart. Are you feeling better now?".
" Yes, I think so. It is just weird that we have not found a sign of her. It almost seemed the only thing that made sense".
Henry and Regina both sit down. They eat in silence for a while and Emma wants to laugh at how Henry kind of has picked up all of Regina's eating habits, even when eating a greasy hamburger.
"You know, grandma- " Henry says and Emma wants to grin even more, because there is still a bit of hamburger in his mouth. Obviously he is not completely like Regina
" First chewing, then talking" Regina gently chides.
Henry rolls his eyes, but obeys. " Grandma is worried about you. You sleep even less than her".
" That is not-".
" I can hear you sneak downstairs mom, you really aren't as quiet as you would like".
" Henry- ".
" She is right. You really do sleep and eat too little, mom. You are constantly locking yourself here and if you're not here, you are in your office or searching around town or at town hall. I want to find Emma as badly as you do, but- ".
" Henry, I am fine. You really have no reason to be concerned".
" Mom! Stop lying".
Regina sighs, looks away. " Snow should not talk about these things with you".
" Well, you kind of left her no choice. I am pretty sure she has attempted everything apart from abducting you to get you away from this vault".
Regina snorts. " That is.. accurate actually. She has been pestering me a lot" and she obviously tries to be all disdainful and annoyed, but it really comes off more as exasperated fondness.
" So I have been sent instead".
" I cannot believe your grandmother is using you like this".
" I would have come to you with salad anyways" Henry grins. " Now I just have leverage".
Regina narrows her eyes at the look Henry throws her. " Henry…".
" Your choice mom: leave the vault with me or spend all afternoon here with Snow who wants to talk about selfcare".
The image vanishes when Regina reacts pretty dramatically and Henry starts laughing. Which leaves Emma chest light and glowing.
Both she and the queen are silent for a while and it are very different silences. Emma is calm, thinking about how relieved she is Henry is with Regina. And how proud she is of him. The queen, on the other hand, kind of snarls and clutches the mirror too tightly.
Then she suddenly smiles and it is the kind of smile that makes Emma's feathers flatten. The whole atmosphere seems far more stifling all of a sudden, so much that she wouldn't be surprised if thunder suddenly struck or some other weird horror movie thing.
" He treats her well, now that she seems like the hero he wants her to be. So she is happy". Her eyes harden and her voice freezes over. " but she does not deserve it".
And without saying another words, the evil queen vanishes in a puff of smoke and leaves-
Emma desperately attempting to escape the pond to warn Regina, tell her to watch out, protect her because she is sure it is more necessary than ever.
(but the enchantment holds and she cannot go anywhere)
Emma is still trying to get away from the pond, or at least get her usual form back when it happens. She hears their voices before she sees them and for a moment, she thinks she is just imagining things again. That she just wants it really badly.
But then she actually sees them.
Close together, Henry talking and Regina just listening and sometimes laughing softly. She still looks a little sad, but it is far more muted and Emma can see her hiding it whenever Henry looks at her. There is a bag of bread in Henry's hand and that's when Emma feels like she has won the lottery.
They are coming towards me, this is my chance.
She clumsily swims to the shore, wanting to be close closer as fast as possible. She forgets what she is for a moment and screams their names, then feels her heart drop into her stomach when all she hears is the horrid sound swans make.
It does get their attention though, so that is good?
Henry and Regina stop at the shore and Emma feels kind of insulted when Regina snorts- obviously because of how Emma manages to scramble into the patch of grass in front of the pond. I would like to see you move gracefully with these wings, your majesty
(Damn it, Regina probably would actually be graceful). Emma is so happy to see them that she sort of jumps – waggles, but she is never going to admit that- at them and deflates when Regina pulls Henry back suddenly.
" Mom, why-".
" Swans may be beautiful Henry, but they are also vicious".
Henry laughs and pushes her hand away. " It is not attempting to hurt me. It is probably just hungry".
Nah, 'it' is actually trying to make the 1000th wacko thing in this town not a complete disaster.
Henry carefully approaches her with Regina watching all momma-bear like (Emma even recognizes the thing she does with her hands seconds before she throws fireballs) as he opens the bag and holds a piece of bread in front of her.
Regina rushes forward " Henry, throw that on the ground and not- ".
She trails of when Emma takes the bread extremely carefully, bending her head slowly and making sure not to even touch Henry's hand.
"… like that".
Henry grins. " See? It is totally okay".
" I have never seen a swan behave like this. They usually do not approach unless they feel threatened and I don't think I have ever seen one come to the shore for bread".
Henry shrugs. "So? She is just different".
The way Regina studies her, makes Emma straighten a bit and puff her feathers before she notes what she is doing. Talk about embarrassing. " Special. She does seem special, yes" Regina ponders and Emma cannot control her feathers, damn it.
Regina allows Henry to admire Emma for a few moments, letting him give pieces of bread to Emma and talk to her and study her. She draws the line at touching however.
" Henry, you are not going to touch her. She could have parasites- ".
Hey! I do NOT.
".. or hurt you. They are dangerous birds, even without them being able to break arms"
" I am pretty sure she would let me ".
" I am not taking the risk, come here".
Henry looks a little chagrined, but straightens and walks over to Regina. They walk towards what had apparently been their original destination: the small group of ducks only a couple of metres further.
Emma quickly jumps in the pond and follows them again, makes her magic jump and jump and jump in an effort to at least get her voice back. It all feels kind of awful, but she needs to talk to Regina!
REGINA HENRY, IT IS ME.
She tries so hard that she can feel her strength fading rapidly, but she only manages those awful sounds. Henry looks back and pulls at his mother's sleeve. He points at Emma, who is circling in the water and screaming loudly and still trying to make her magic work (even if they probably cannot see that, but maybe Regina can feel it)
" is she hurt?".
" I don't think so. Perhaps she just wants more bread".
" No. Something is wrong". Henry sounds really worried as he starts to walk towards her and Emma quickly swims towards him. She widens her eyes, like he will see the green colour and immediately recognize her.
Come on kid, come on. Don't you recognize me?
Henry leans forward and scrunches, and her smart kid definitely looks suspicious and thoughtful. He even starts to reach for her and she lets him, thinking this is it and-
Regina pulls him back.
" Mom!"
"It is dangerous Henry".
" She is hurt".
" She does not have any injuries Henry".
" No, but- she sounded hurt" . Henry hesitates, looks at Emma again. " Can we not take her to the animal shelter or something? Let someone have a look at her".
Regina sighs. Emma bends her head, already sure she is going to refuse but then- Regina actually looks at her and looks thoughtful. Emma doesn't dare to move as she is scrutinized and there is not exactly recognition in Regina's eyes, but something close to it.
" I do agree it is peculiar, but I am not going to risk you hurting yourself. So your grandfather and I will take a look at her tomorrow. You can watch. From a distance".
" Okay. But – ".
" Tomorrow Henry".
Henry hesitates, but then nods. " Tomorrow".
He glances over his shoulder as Regina and he walk towards the duck. Emma has stopped screaming as furiously as before, too exhausted, but still follows them and lets out the occasional shout. She knows she cannot go with them or she would just follow them home.
She wants to follow them so badly. Wants to be close to them and protect them. Needs them to be safe. But she only shouts one last time, sad and almost quietly as they walk away.
It is only when she is nearly blacking out from the effort that she stops fighting the magic, or forcing her own. She searches for a semi-warm and semi-comfortable spot to rest, too tired. Her eyes slowly start to close.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow. To- .. mor- row.