I do not own OUAT. Once again, I am really honoured by your comments and I hope you continue to enjoy this story. You guys are superb, truly!

Ignorance is bliss is an expression for a reason. There are thousands of moments where knowing can destroy you, where a carefully build lie is everything that keeps you or your life from breaking, where the hurt is kept at bay only because you do not know the whole story.

The Swan-Mills family may be made of a stubborn boy who didn't hesitate once to eat a poisoned apple turnover, a woman who gave up her son and returned to fight a dragon to save him and a woman who was told 'love is weakness' until it became a part of herself and still choose to love her son –

Of strength and stubbornness and love-

But that doesn't mean they do not fear, and that they sometimes shy away from confrontations.

Right now, this family is huddled down on the bed and they all shy away from confrontation. It isn't just Regina, less sure and shaken-up after the latest confrontation, but Emma and Henry as well. Henry is next to Regina, clutching her hand and staring at her with wide eyes. Understandable, as he probably never has seen his mom so visibly shaken-up. They can hear her too-quick, shallow breaths and she keeps swallowing and shaking her head subtly. Both of them, Emma and Henry, know that Regina is probably still hiding the worst of it –

So how bad is it?

And mom – she used to do that all the time, so why – Henry Mills only wonders for a second, slightly nauseous as always at the thought of murder, a small storm in his stomach at the idea of callous murder, but then he understands. If mom destroyed her evil half , then maybe – he already has a dozen theories, a dozen ideas on why his mom is so shaken up right now but he's frustrated to know he doesn't really understand. He doesn't understand his mom, even though they've thought up secret languages together and mom has several ways of calling him 'mijo' and he's the only one who knows exactly what each one means and-

He doesn't know. His mom is obviously upset, but this time he doesn't know what to do about it. He has no idea how to calm her down, or what it is exactly that she is feeling – is she terrified, like him? – so he is left laying on bed and feeling useless and upset and his brain not shutting up about who the heart must've belonged to.

He looks down when he feels something nudge his arm, and manages a weak smile when he sees it is Emma. " Hey" he mutters, and she makes a sound that makes him snort besides everything, and then hide his smile when he sees how she is obviously annoyed.

She gives him an expression that's kind of hard to read- swans don't really have the ability to like look anything but vaguely scary or deceptively cuddly- but he decides it means 'do not laugh at me, you little shit'. He doesn't take it too serious, as Emma usually says something like that with a smile and very gently pushes him before giving him a one-armed hug.

She can't do that now of course, but she headbutts his arm in a way that says she would if she could. He smiles again at her, then yanks his head in mom's direction and mouths 'we have to help'. Emma just ruffles her feathers a little, kind of like she is shrugging and tilts her head. Then, apparently deeming he is all right, she returns to Regina's side but keeps her eyes on him.

He sighs, and looks at them. His mom seems to have regained most of her impressive control, but if you look closely enough, you can see little chinks in her usual unbreakable armour. His other mom – well, she is a swan right now so it is difficult to get any kind of expression from her, but there is something telling (and sweet, and safe) about the way she is at Regina's side, close enough that Regina knows someone is there for her, but not close enough that it would be stifling or uncomfortable. Emma doesn't have her gun or her sheriff's badge or even just the ability to stare at a person, but for some reason still manages to make it very clear she will fuck you up if you even think about upsetting Regina. She manages to make the area around the bed unapproachable, so that no one will have the foolish idea to even bother their family.

It makes Henry feels deceptively safe.

He slowly feels himself relax , although his thoughts won't shut up and he hasn't felt this ill since that time he was little and somehow got his hands on mom's apple cider and drank two glasses before she could get it away from him. He inches a little closer to his moms, grabbing Regina's hand and squeezing it.

They don't speak. They just lie there, silent but for the unnaturally loud sound of their breathing and their louder thoughts. He's sure his moms have them too, that they can't stop shifting through possibilities, feeling guilty whenever there is a possibility that hurts just a bit more than the others. He squeezes his eyes, tries to fight against awful non-heroic thoughts like it would hurt less if it was him and keeps repeating the mantra it's awful whoever it is. It's kind of obvious, and he really does believe it, but he can't help what he feels- what he fears and hopes and even prays.

( he knows a lot of gods, and he would do nothing for hours but pray if that would mean his family would be all right)

Eventually, everything must be faced. No one can deny reality forever, no one can run from destiny forever and even the women who moved the moon together cannot keep the harsh truth from being thrown in their faces.

Quite literally, as the newspaper is thrown at Regina. She just arches an eyebrow and calmly takes it, even though Henry feels like he has just stepped on a ship and only barely manages to glare at the man that is looking at his mom like she's –

" Henry, mijo, please leave us" Regina says, gently pushing him away from her. He immediately shakes his head and tries to copy the expression she used a lot when she was mayor, the one that made people stammer and blush and falter. Not to use on her of course, but the person who is still looking at his mom in this way that makes acid rise in his stomach.

" Henry, you can go to Granny's and order something for yourself" she says, throwing him her 'Henry Daniel Mills' look, which means he can't refuse. So he doesn't even try, knows better really, and just hugs her, tells her 'ti amo' before leaving with one last glance at the man staring at her. As soon as he is gone, Regina looks up and steps closer to the man.

She tries to summon some of that old rage, but all she has to fall back on is her mother's teachings that she can never quite get of her head. Right now, she is almost grateful as it was her mother who made acting like a queen an ingrained part of her : a queen is what she needs to be if she wishes to intimidate this man.

" You will never speak of something like this in front of my son again " she commands him, briefly wondering at the lack of gratification as the man obviously hesitates and swallows. Once, being able to intimidate people enough to be safe from them would have been a source of satisfaction.

" I wasn't speaking " he protests " the boy didn't- "

" You deliberately exposed my son to something that would harm him. I do not care whether you dislike me – " it is a lie, mostly. Especially now. " but I will destroy you if you ever carelessly do anything to hurt my son again" he doesn't seem to notice how empty her threat is, just nods and leaves. He stares at her with a quiet distrust and dislike, almost unnoticeable. She only takes a deep breath when he is gone, no longer used to disgust and hatred the way she once was. She wonders whether it was always so sharp, then forces herself to focus on the newspaper.

It feels like the tide slamming into her, honestly. It's front page news, big letters that jump into your face and a large picture that your eyes are pulled to again and again. It's –

" Hook" she whispers, staring at the picture. He's under a white sheet- but no one apparently noticed that his hook was still visible, part of it peeking out from the sheet. She quickly scans the articles, her stomach burning with acid when she reads 'mysterious causes ' , 'no injuries', 'heart attack', 'will be questioned' and realizes that most people will know what is going on here. There will only be a small amount of people who actually will believe it was a heart attack

And she has no idea what the people who will thi- know his heart was squeezed to dust will think. Will they immediately suspect her, come to her house screaming for her execution? She imagines it, all those people running towards her house and screaming in favour of her death. She doesn't really have to imagine, she knows what a mob looks like.

What if they hurt Henry? She imagines something far worse than that some idiot forgets her son is still a child , a smart and brave and wonderful one but also one that has already gone through too much and most definitely does not need more awful things happening to him. She almost longs for the queen again, who would rip a heart out so easily and wouldn't be-

Terrified. And unsure- she cannot just hurt someone, that's not right but her son needs her to be strong and – she exhales shakily, presses her hand to her stomach. Do not be foolish. The queen was the part of you that is like- that hurt people, that did horrible things. It is weak and wrong to want to be anything like that.

On the other hand, she also feels- she doesn't want to think about it, if she thinks about it she is going to acknowledge the way- she immediately grabs her phone and doesn't even look at the caller when it rings.

" Mayor Mills" she says, and the small bit of relief she felt is immediately replaced with an acute sense of falling and crashing when the other voice on the line – David's voice- says 'you have to come to the station'. Irrationally, she wants to blurt out an explanation and about a million sorry's. She thinks. Or maybe a part of her wants to point out how awful Hook was, but that part of her should be ripped out, should be dead, should be anywhere but causing the havoc they're having now.

Gods above, below and beyond, living in Storybrooke is such a headache.

She manages to hide she is affected at all, offering a curt "I will be there" before hanging up and placing the phone in her pocket again. Her legs feel sort of unstable, and about as trustworthy as her mother had been, but she still forces them to bring her to the police station and forces her uncooperative facial muscles to not crumble.

No one should know what she is thinking, and how guilty she is. If they imprison her, the queen can keep Emma as a swan forever. If she isn't there, she can tear Henry away from Regina and force him through Cora Mills parenting techniques. Snow and David will be killed – or worse. That's why she manages to force her expression into something approaching normalcy when she walks into the station, and sits down in the chair David points at.

She doesn't look at Snow, standing next to him with an expression Regina doesn't allow herself to look at for more than two seconds. Regina talks before any of her two idiots can. " Why did I have to come here?".

" Did you already read the newspaper?"

Regina threw the blasted paper away before she came here, so she could but she doesn't see the point. " I did"

" So you know- " Snow breaks off, gratefully squeezing David's hand when he offers it to her without looking her way. " Hook is dead" she finishes, sounding exhausted.

Regina nods. " I am aware" she tries to get rid of the image of Emma's pained grimace, and what little red Hook's heart had had pulsing frantically, like it was trying to get away before she had even known she would squeeze it.

She slowly blinks, and stares at the hand that is on hers. She flicks her eyes to David, who just smiles and pats her hand. He keeps it on top of hers , and she doesn't reprimand him but looks at Snow instead. "Do we have any idea what happened?"

Snow and David share a look, and Snow answers. " We have.. theories but it doesn't add up"

" Why? Surely the police department has enough resources to solve – "

" His heart was missing" Snow says

Regina opens her mouth, but Snow is faster than she is. " Blue told us" Snow says, and Regina presses her lips together in obvious distaste before she remembers herself and instead adopts a more neutral expression .

" I understand. Did the overgrown – did mother superior have any other information?"

Snow looks uncomfortable. " No, but she had some suggestions. She thought – " Snow makes a nervous gesture. " We just don't understand. There aren't many people in town who have the ability- and why would they? "

" Rumple has motive" Regina offers, although it makes her even more ill. Rumple might not be an innocent, but he is innocent in this case.

David and Snow share another look. "So thought we .. "David starts, then pauses so that Snow can finish by saying " but he has an alibi"

Before Regina can point out that that means very little, as Rumple has magic and thus could've used some trick to form an alibi, David sighs and stares right into her eyes. " We have to bring you to the interrogation room"

Snow hisses " Charming " next to him, but he grits his teeth and looks directly at Regina. His eyes are sympathetic and he looks exhausted- but also stubborn and resolved. She is suddenly hit with a wave of wistfulness, after she realizes how much he looks like Emma right now.

"Why would that be necessary?"

David doesn't look away from her, and lets Snow answer. " You were the last to speak with him" she says, voice wavering slightly.

And what?

She stares at the camera, where you can see her walk into the station. The time stamp says it happened around ten this morning. The clothing are the same that Snow and Charming saw her wear before they left the house. Her walk is the same. But Regina stares at the eyes, and wonders how anyone can think it is her.

" It was a witness who told us he saw you enter the station, which is when we checked the camera's"

" Why was he even here?" Regina says. She almost adds 'after his recent rediscovery of the joys of alcoholism and the budding relationships with Leroy, I would imagine he would attempt to avoid this place', but that would be in poor taste. And she doesn't really want to anyways, it is more a habit than anything , the way-

" He has been here almost every day, Regina "Snow says, staring at her

Regina scoffs. " As far as I knew, he spent most of these days drinking excessively and misbehaving in my town" When he should've been searching for Emma. Anger still feels the same without the queen, and she has to resist the urge to toss a fireball when she thinks of the times Hook failed Emma.

" He loves her "Snow says.

Regina presses her hand against her stomach. " I am aware, but he did not join any of the search efforts. And when I was attempting to regain my mayor duties, as well as search for Emma, I received numerous files on destruction of property and disorderly conduct"

Snow sighs. " Everyone reacts to something like this in their own way" she offers, but Regina doesn't think she sounds like she believes it.

She knows she shouldn't, and she does feel bad about it (about everything) but the rage on Emma's behalf is greater than that. " That may be, but I have been here several times when he was 'reacting'. He only commanded for you to find Emma, and insulted you when you admitted you could not"

She remembers his words – "why are you not trying harder" – and how he had been in Snow's face, Snow who had already been upset- " He should not have treated you like that" she more or less growls.

Snow and David share another glance. " Regina, are you aware- " this time Snow stops speaking so David can finish the sentence " you are making yourself appear guilty?"

She sighs. " Everyone knows we did not get along, but he is- was- Emma's boyfriend. And just like you, I tolerated him for Emma's sake" she swallows. " And I would never intentionally harm him, not when Emma cares for him "

Snow nods. " All right" David already removed his hand , so Snow can reach out and take Regina's hand, which she does and even combines with a smile. " We trust you, Regina"

Regina fights to smile back genuinely, pressing down so hard on her stomach it actually hurts, and reminds herself that they need her, that they can't know because she needs to protect them. She blinks away the tears , hopes that if they see they just think it is because she misses Emma.

Snow is still smiling, but now there are tears as well. " We will get through this "she promises

"Still employed by the hope commission I see " Regina forces out, and Snow laughs and cries. And then doesn't stop crying. David immediately gets up and Regina feels even more horrible, looking at them both crying in each other's arms. She almost comes up with some excuse, anything to get out of here, out of the room that suddenly feels too much like her mother's magic wrapped around her and squeezing.

Snow pulls back, although David's arms remain loosely around her. She looks at Regina, cheeks tear-stained and eyes pained. "What do we do?"

" We don't give up" is all Regina says. As though it would ever be that simple.

Regina has never been good at sleeping. When she was still young, there were always things to be afraid of. The sounds of all those taken hearts beating , or her mother walking past her room. When she had been the queen, the king didn't visit too often but he was in her dreams. And if he wasn't, she would wake in tears with Daniel's name on her lips. And then, finally, when Leopold was gone, she had countless new faces to bother her. Just because she felt vindicated, did not mean that the dead would leave her alone at night.

Now, it's her friends dying. It's Snow's heart ripped out and Charming collapsing with her. It's Ruby next to Granny's body with tears on her lashes and her entire body shaking. It's bodies lying everywhere, and more collapsing, and glimpses of recognizable faces – Belle, Leroy, Archie- before the focus is on another heart, and then on dust.

It is her own hand, her own face, her own laugh.

She wakes with her heart hammering, hair sticking to her head and crying quietly. She brushes the tears away and pushes herself out of bed, careful to not wake Henry – or stumble into his bed, which he got there not by allowing her to use magic but instead probably ruining her floor in his attempt to get it to her room.

She lets out a shaky breath when she manages to get out of the room without Henry waking, or stumbling into anything. She leans against the wall, then slowly walks downstairs. Water, she wants water. No she wants- alcohol, sleeping pills, anything that- water. On her way to the kitchen, she suddenly hears voice and stops. She noiselessly summons a fireball, but then realizes the voices belong to Snow and David.

She slowly extinguishes the fireball, and listens.

" David, you can't be serious"

" Snow- "

" No, she is our friend now" Regina leans against the wall, trying to breathe quietly and to not feel too –

" I know that. But Snow, I think she was lying- " Regina suddenly wonders whether David thinks he has a lie detector, just like Emma, and kind of feels like someone is stabbing her in the chest. It would be a lot kinder than what is actually happening to her.

" I know" Snow whispers, and Regina swallows. She digs her nails into the wall a little bit; Snow sounds so hurt. It's enough that a bit of her focus returns, and she swallows the bile and pushes away the thoughts.

"So what do we do?"

" We support her. And hopefully, she will tell us when the time is right"

Someone sighs. " Snow, I love her but you know- "

" She is our friend now" Snow's voice tells Regina that her friend is crying and she almost goes inside to comfort her. But Charming can do that.

" I know. I know how much you wanted that, and how much it means. And she's my friend too, the last thing I want – "

" We can't lose this. We have- Charming we have fought a war, we have been cursed, we have lost our daughter – "

" We have a good thing now"

Regina can't understand what Snow is saying, as it is soft and said in a strangled voice intermixed with a sort of hiccups, the kind you get when you're crying. It is enough to penetrate the numbness slightly, but it doesn't stop the nausea she has been feeling all day. She is just about to leave when something slams into the back of her legs, and she stumbles forward.

Snow and Charming immediately appear, both their faces wet with tears. This isn't exactly an unusual appearance - Emma has been missing for a while after all, and the Charmings moved to her house quite soon- so neither of them attempt to wipe away their tears.

As soon as she feels something against her leg, she looks down and arches her eyebrow at Emma. She has no idea what Emma is trying to communicate- she would guess the woman is just trying to check whether she is all right- but her tenaciousness is kind of sweet, the same way the Charming idiocy is. Usually.

"I think she wants you to hold her" Snow says

"She is a swan, not a teddy bear Snow"

" She is kind of cuddly though"

Emma very obviously bristles at that, and usually Regina would likely hide a smile after a comment like that. Now, she just bends down and takes Emma in her arms. The woman flaps her wings for a short moment, then slumps in Regina's arms and leans her head on Regina's shoulder. She looks very content.

Snow smiles, and pets Emma " She is very beautiful"

Regina doesn't have the energy to make a sarcastic remark about that, just makes some vague noise that could mean agreement and sits down. Snow smiles at her, then pats her shoulder and goes to the counter.

"Do you want hot chocolate as well?"

" I prefer other beverages"

"And yet you have been drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon almost exclusively these weeks "Snow says, with that annoying expression.

" It would be rude to refuse it, as you keep offering to make it" she merely comments.

David tries to make small talk, but then just gives up and sits next to her, sipping hot chocolate and randomly giving her exhausted smiles. Snow makes the hot chocolate and miraculously does not attempt to talk.

Regina decides to amuse herself by petting Emma. She even manages a small smirk when the little feathers puff up like usually and Emma tries to hide it. Emma immediately gives her a look that Regina knows is supposed to be a glare, and she pets her again. She pushes Emma's head away when she moves it towards Regina's neck.

And then she freezes

The air changes, like the oxygen is leaking away . There is a subtle heat against her skin, and her magic simmers. When she stares at Emma with wide eyes, it's confirmed what is happening- she is subtle growing, changing, unnoticeable to someone who doesn't feel the magic and for a glorious-terrible moment, Regina expects Emma to suddenly morph and end up naked on her lap.

There is a tug of war going on in her stomach, the nausea pushed to the background by anticipation and panic. She licks her lips, staring at Emma, already running though excuses and getting caught on the idea of Emma. Nude. On her lap. When the magic slowly starts to leak away.

She exhales shakily, not sure how she feels about that.

" What is wrong with it?" Snow exclaims, quickly putting Regina's hot chocolate in front of her, and coming closer to gently touch Emma's head. Snow's worry is understandable, as Emma has slumped against Regina and is hardly moving.

"I assume she has tired "Regina says.

Snow shakes her head. " I don't think it is tiredness, it seems like she is – "

Before Regina's sarcastic answer, or Snow's additional prying can happen, there is the sound of footsteps and Henry walks into the kitchen. Regina immediately turns towards him, considering and rejecting the idea of scolding him in a second.

"Hot chocolate?" Snow just asks.

Henry nods, and sits down next to his mother. He smiles at Emma, then kisses her head. " Hey " he mutters, then looks at Regina. " ¿está bien? "

"No te preocupes " Regina just answers, which makes Henry roll his eyes and give her a look. He turns to his grandma, smiling at her. " Hey grandma, is my swan okay?" he asks

" Regina seems to think so" Snow says with that infuriating expression again.

"She looks kind of bad" Henry offers, then pets Emma again. They remain like that for a while, sipping their hot chocolate and failing at small talk and failing even more at anything important. All miserable and worried and anxious, but finding support in the silence.

Regina never had a family like that. She is only more determined to fight to protect it.

I really wanted to write another scene about the next day – as the queen's deadline will be up and Emma will momentarily change into a human to make Snow and Charming more suspicious- but it just didn't work. So I guess that's one for next time, eh? I struggled a bit with this chapter, and I hope that it is good enough now. I am pretty content with it now, but maybe I will look at it again tomorrow, or when it is actually online instead of just a word document and change it.

I don't think so though (I am shit at editing after I already posted lol) , but if any of you think I could improve it, please tell me and I will!