I don't own OUAT. I also don't own the Spanish lullaby, which is 'Arrorró mi niño' Translations of the Spanish in this chapter is at the end of the chapter ( btw I don't actually speak Spanish so I use translators and such. If the Spanish isn't right, please tell me!) For anyone who reads this story and also reads one of my other stories, 'operation save mom', I am working on that as well. I don't know when I will have finished the next chapter however, I kind of don't have much time to write now.
Everything is in the background.
She knows Charming is pacing, that Snow has sunk into a chair, is sobbing hysterically. The bars are cold against her hand, where she pushes it through so Henry can hold it. His grip is a little too tight. But she all notes this in distant, absent-minded thoughts. The way it impacts her – how Snow's tears actually hurt her as well, how she loves Henry and is terrified for him- isn't even there.
She can't stop thinking about what she did. She already knows there will be new nightmares. Everything is distant, apart from those dreamcatcher images and the heart-breaking, terrifying knowledge that this was just a warm-up.
The queen might be out of her, but it doesn't change that Regina still knows. She knows how the queen thinks, what she wants. She remembers all that rage and pain -with interludes of nothing, a great bubble around her and nothing coming through, not even joy if Snow suffered. There's no limit to what the queen would do, she knows that too.
When you are that hurt or that empty and you think there's only one thing you want-
The queen isn't done. She doesn't know whether her two idiots, or her smart little prince, know but Regina doesn't doubt it one second. The pira- Hook was just a warm-up. Regina has at least three theories for why he would be first, but it doesn't even matter. It's a terrible thought, but it doesn't matter because it's too late for him and there's an entire town filled with people the queen wouldn't think twice about killing.
Regina shifts through all them, friend family acquaintances strangers. Thinking about why the queen would want to kill them, or won't pay much attention to them. She might even kill anyone who has ever been friendly to Snow-
(Storybrooke will turn into a ghost town, abandoned streets and corpses in the houses)
" Mami?" Henry whispers, slowly getting to her. She blinks twice, and stares at her hand. She suddenly realizes Henry is squeezing it very tightly, and he's so pale and his eyes are very wide.
"Mijo? " she says back, not whispering but voice low (and hoarse)
He swallows. " Emma isn't waking"
" Where is she?"
" Grandpa brought her home, like an hour ago. Grumpy is guarding her, with some others"
Regina nods. Her brain has never been this slow. " Bueno"
Henry stares at her, then slowly exhales shakily. " Mami?"
He licks his lips, stares at the floor before he looks at her again. "Do you think she is going to hurt Emma now?"
Is the queen capable of it ? Yes. But whether she would- that is a complicated question. She only considers lying for a second. "No sé " she says because Henry is so, so smart and he will already know that the queen is –
He leans his head against the bars, swallowing and blinking. "I don't want her to be hurt"
" I know, mijo. I do not want that either"
He looks at her, tears in his eyes but that familiar look he gets whenever he is convinced of something, her stubborn, sweet boy. " I don't want you hurt"
She thinks of how defeating the queen is actually so simple. How all she has to do, is find her own heart and squeeze it into dust. And lies. " I will not get hurt"
Henry nods. " La reina es la pieza más fuerte" he says, something she used to tell him when she taught him to play chess. And even though she isn't the queen anymore, just his mother, just Regina ( all she wants to be, despite him needing someone stronger), she answers
" La reina es fuerte, porque su principito la quiere"
He is just starting to reply when a hand grabs his shoulder, and gently pulls him away from Regina. He protests, but Charming just shakes his head and everything about him tells Henry that this isn't the time to protest. So he goes, but not without telling Regina 'ti amo' one more time. She watches him walk over to Snow, offering her comfort because he is so gentle and so good, and then focuses on Charming.
" David" she is too exhausted for talking
" I can't – I have to lock you up, and – " he shudders, and his eyes flit down to the cuff. Regina is well aware that as soon as this odd detachment stops, she won't react favourably to that thing. The last time she wore one-
" I understand" she says, trying very hard not to remember. Unfortunately, memories are stubborn, disobedient things.
He nods. "I know, from the whole thing with- we know someone else can easily have done this"
" It is procedure"
" You are the prime suspect, for now. After- " they never speak off her. She knows Snow is sorry, that there is so much regret and self-loathing there, but- they just do not speak off it. Charming isn't going to start now, even if he has all the subtlety of a solar eclipse.
"You will investigate more this time"
He looks almost relieved. "We will" he rests his hand on the bars. Regina knows he means it, that they will actually question other people this time. For a little while, at least, they will believe in her. (she also knows there is already doubt however, small enough now but it will grow and she cannot do anything)
He slowly leans back. " Can I get you anything?"
" I am not exactly famished "she says drily
He swallows. "I will get you something small then"
She nods. She doesn't want to talk anymore. She just wants to close her eyes, and wake up to a world wherein the evil queen is not even a possibility. She wants to wake to the smell of breakfast and walk downstairs, and see Henry be teased by Emma and Charming and Snow being disgustedly affectionate.
She wants-
All those pointless things she doesn't deserve.
Regina is allowed food, drinks and even her phone. Sometimes, Charming even talks to her like everything is okay, like she is still just part of their very odd family dynamic. Snow brings her the clothing she wants. She just doesn't have her freedom, can't sleep and there are people screaming outside sometimes.
Thank the gods that she can still text with Henry ( check on him really, even if he claims he is probably the safest in town)
The lions won't tell me much, but the wolf said they don't really have anything yet.
Lions?
Gryffindor.
They're not both in Gryffindor.
I decided to just give in. If they really want to be in Gryffindor, that's their choice( even though I still think the hat wouldn't agree with them) How are you?
Perfectly fine
Mom.
I might not have magic, but I do have spidey-senses for lies.
That is not how it works
I know you. What's going on?
I am still imprisoned, mijo.
We're working on it. Operation Butterfly is on
Henry, it is not safe
I don't think she would hurt me
Regina knows Henry the way he knows her. So just like him, she doesn't need to see anything to know something is going on. Has she been talking to you?
She hasn't visited since last time.
You have no idea what she is like. You do not know her motivations
I know my mom. And she was you for a long time, and you would never hurt me. She wouldn't like, kill me or anything
She might think she loves you, but she is not capable of it, cariño.
Why does she want me to leave with her then?
Because she knows you made me very happy, and she wants that as well. And it will destroy your grandmother, losing both her grandson and daughter.
We would find a way back though, we always have
Do not even consider it. Your safety and happiness are more important than anything
Class is starting again. Ti amo, mom
Ti amo, principito.
Regina curses – in her head, ladies never curse out loud, no one wants to marry someone like that- as soon as she sends the last text. Her son is scheming again, and it always ends with him getting hurt. And now it is worse than ever, because it isn't Cruella it isn't Zelena isn't Pan-
It is Regina's worst parts, torn painfully from her and hellbent on vengeance for a dead fiancé, a lost soulmate, a dead mother, attempts at murder- gods, there are so many things that th- woman can be angry about and Regina can do nothing. Her son is a target, her – Emma is imprisoned and the two idiots she loves could be killed any moment.
She paces and pushes at the bars and pulls at the leather cuff, but there is no solution, no key and no magic. All that happens, is that she ends up even more exhausted and leans against the bars for a moment, just a moment, she won't -
Silver, gleaming, perfect apart from the brown-red droplets sliding from it. A sharp pain in her chest, as though she has run several marathons. Hands erupting from the ground, fingers brushing her ankles as she pushes herself, pushes herself. Leaves falling, suddenly changing into blood that soaks her. Gliding on the blood that's everywhere, her hands chafing as they catch her. A hand in her hair, yanking her head up. Nails digging in the skin beneath her eyes, again and again until she opens them- they're in the trees, strung-up. Chests ripped open, blood and things she doesn't even want to think about going out of them. Daddy. The two idiots. Emma. Gods-
""HENRY" she screams it so loud that Charming comes running in two seconds later, gun in hand and looking completely terrified. She is on the floor, against the wall and hyperventilating slightly. Charming drops the keys three times( trembling hands) before he manages to open the cell and –
She doesn't understand why she is in his arms and why he is shushing her and why she can't just push him away until she realizes what the sounds are and why her cheeks feel like that. Weak her mother's voice whispers in her head, but she accepts the embrace.
She can do that now.
Henry can't stand how much his mom hurts, everyone knows that
( what everyone doesn't know: he has noticed his mom has changed, and he can't stand that either. It's all these tiny things that make his mom mom and he loves her so much but it's not right, somehow)
His mom has to be happy, because he loves her and now that he is older he understands she has been hurt really badly. Been hurt by his family, and that's a little hard to stomach sometimes. He wants to write her a million happy endings , but he know he can't. That isn't right, either, it would be kind of like abusing his author powers.
So instead, he is running away in the middle of the night again and trying to not feel guilty as he gets to their meeting place. Even if all the other things have changed, the handwriting is the same so he knows it's her he is running to.
The meeting place gives that away, too.
He mutters "Hola, abuelo" and briefly rests his hand on the stone before pushing it aside, and going downstairs. He carefully descends , hand resting on where he keeps his author's pen, and allows himself to take one last deep breath before stepping into the room.
It's different. The potions and the beating hearts and the slight creepiness- it's all there, but there's also a certain hominess to the room now, because of the large couch and the soft lightning as well as some art pieces. And sitting on the couch, with a glass in her hand and another on the table next to it, is she.
" Henry" she smiles
He clutches his backpack a little tighter. "I am here, like you asked in the note"
He doesn't move away or anything, just studies her carefully, when she stands up and walks over to him. The glass vanishes, and she lays her hand on his cheek. " Mijo " she says, still smiling.
He pulls away, and glares at her. "What do you want?"
" I just want us to be a family" she waves her hand, and the room suddenly fills with the smell of hot chocolate, and there's the special cookies she only makes for very special occasions – except he has never seen this many before. His stomach grumbles loudly, but he doesn't stop glaring or even moves.
"I have a family"
The queen's eyes harden, and there's a moment he's clutching his author's pen and she is staring at him, until she chuckles " I am offering you a better one"
Henry crosses his arms " My family is great"
"I disagree"
" I don't care" he takes a step closer to her. "I just came here because you're hurting them and – "
" Your grandparents are obsessed with 'goodness', purity to the point where they would ruin a little girl only to eradicate all evil from their daughter. Your other grandparent has attempted to hurt you, murdered and manipulated and ruined so many lives. Your mother- "
"They made mistakes, everyone does"
"You will not even call me mom"
" They haven't done anything bad in a while. You- " Henry's voice breaks, and he tries again. "You forced mom to kill him"
"Don't tell me you cared about the pirate"
"I didn't want him to die!"
Henry actually takes a step back at the look in her eyes. " He wanted you to die"
" He was the dark one" Henry whispers, even though he has wondered- Hook turned on them so suddenly and his mom- she choose him, even after he hurt Henry, like Henry didn't matt- but it wasn't like that.
" Emma was the dark one. And he was the dark one before he knew, and he was fine. But as soon as he knew- " she lets the words sink in for awful seconds, then adds "I did not want him around you, mijo"
She touches his chin , exactly like mom but also different. She's less gentle. " I do not want that germ-ridden, instable man around the thing I love most"
" You don't love"
"Did she tell you that?"
Henry doesn't bother lying. He has the idea that the queen can tells he is lying as easily as if she was just his mom, instead of the bad part ripped out of his mom. " She did"
" She was lying, mi corazón" she hesitates a moment, then says " We never stopped loving Daniel. And the moment they brought you in - "she is silent for a moment, looking like she's remembering something. He takes a step towards her without thinking, and she very slowly reaches for his hand. He doesn't move away.
"You were small, and so fragile. I remember being terrified that I would break you somehow " she slowly turns, and smiles at him. For some weird reason he is thinking to himself that there should be tears in her eyes. There aren't, but her smile is really soft and genuine. " I have wanted nothing as much as I wanted to hold you in my arms, and bring you home. So I did"
He has to keep reminding himself that she isn't his mom, that she is everything that made ten-year old him feel like his mom couldn't be his mom. It's just an act in the queen's case. Right? " My first memory is of your voice" he suddenly blurts out.
She stares at him. "What was I saying?"
He smiles at her, squeezes her hand. " Mi corazón"
"I started teaching you almost immediately"
" You used to read to me in Spanish" he remembers that as well. Asking her for another story, another por favor and her laugh. They made a game out of it, and she would ask him 'English or Spanish' and smile really brightly whenever he picked Spanish.
Her eyes crinkle like his mom's. " I used to sing to you in Spanish"
He laughs without thinking. " I remember that"
"Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi sol, arrorró pedazo, de mi corazón" she sings quietly. It sounds slightly off, her voice deeper and less- but it's still kind of like revisiting his childhood.
She's smiling so brightly that he forgets for a moment, and sings the next part. " Este niño lindo ya quiere dormir; háganle la cuna de rosa y yazmín"
" I discovered that one on the internet"
"Why didn't you use one of grandpa's ones?" he asks. Mom never talked much about her parents, but she has told him Spanish was her father's language, and he loved to sing. He even sang to the horses, and they sang for the apple tree together
" Mother never allowed him to sing me to sleep. She thought he was 'coddling' me, and that it would have some unfortunate effect"
"Oh " he really loved it when his mom sang for him. He missed it when it stopped, but he is really glad it was a thing in the first place. They're very good memories.
" Yes" they're both silent for a while, and he finally forces himself to stop being nice to her. He shouldn't be nice, and he shouldn't be talking about memories like that was her. She was the bad things, the lying and the fights and the mistakes. Right?
"Why did you want me to come?"
The queen lets him pull away from her, although she frowns briefly. " I want to know whether you have thought about my offer"
" Haven't been able to talk to Emma about it"
"It is your decision"
"It is our decision"
"I gave you time to discuss it"
" We were a little busy" he scowls
" Do not tell me you mourn that man. You never liked him"
" I actually did"
" You tolerated him, for Emma's sake" the glass appears in her hand again, and she sips it before vanishing it. " I have been there, too"
Henry stares at her " What do you mean?"
He tenses, clutching his pen, when the queen takes a step towards him. But she doesn't attack him, or try to take his pen or anything really. "Regina is weak. The part of me that I was ripped out off, is the gentle, bright girl that believes in true love more than magic"
" So she is who mom should've been, if - " he doesn't know how to phrase it. If Cora had been less ambitious, if the king hadn't married her, if Daniel hadn't died-
" Yes, she is what your mother would have been, had all that loss and pain not happened to her. If it had not nicely been translated into rage"
" Doesn't mean she is weak. My mom- my moms- are the strongest people I know"
"Regina is weak, because she wants something desperately but she will not fight for it"
" What are you talking about?" Henry really doesn't understand.
The queen smirks. " Your mother is desperately, hopelessly, stupidly in love with Emma Swan"
Henry's brain screeches to a halt. It's not that it is impossible, or weird, or even that he has never thought about it, it's just-
" For how long?"
The queen thinks for maybe a minute. "It is difficult to say, as it was this graduate change. Obviously, we were immediately attracted to her- "
"I really don't need to hear about that, thanks"
"I believe our feelings changed after the turnover accident "she looks at Henry. " She fought so hard for you. And she was nothing like her parents in that moment, as she would have sacrificed every person in this town for you"
" She's the saviour. She wouldn't "
The queen chuckles. " She might be willing to sacrifice herself for the town, but she would never risk you" all mirth vanishes suddenly" You were on the bed, pale and unbreathing and when she attacked me- " Henry is pretty sure that it is admiration that he sees, and it is one of the most terrifying things ever "I saw there were no limits to what she would do to save you"
" She went to Hell for Hook"
"Not the Hell. The Underworld" the queen corrects
" So? She still did that for him. And she took on the darkness for mom. It's what she is like. She is good, she is a hero"
" There is no good, and there is no evil. Regina might have wanted to protect you from this truth, but I don't "
Henry meets her eyes unflinchingly, even stares her down. "There are no heroes, mijo, and there are no villains. Just people who make selfish choices, and are judged for their humanity"
" My grandparents are heroes. My moms are- "
The queen grabs his hand when he tries to get his pen out. " And what would you do, Henry, if I had given you the choice that I gave Regina?"
He swallows. " I would not have squeezed the heart"
" You would still be a murderer"
" No, I- "
" And you are a liar" the queen chuckles. " A bad one. You would have never been able to allow Emma to die"
He glares at her, and she gives him a look. It's the look his mom usually reserves for when she thinks he is being particularly difficult. " So you see, mi cielo, you are like me. And I am like everyone else. And Regina might want to keep that difficult, painful truth from you and allow you to happily live in ignorance but I disagree"
He doesn't say anything, mostly because he guesses she is like his mom, and she hates it when he does that. He keeps it up for a long time, until he is starting to fidget slightly and the queen is starting to look less and less like his mom and more and more like the scary stranger in the storybook.
" So that's why I am here? So you can try to turn me into a monster as well?"
" You will not speak to me that way"
"You're trying to hurt my family!"
" I am your family" the queen says. " I was there your whole life, I raised you. And because I was not good enough, you decided to run away from home and bring back a new, improved model- "
The hatred is expected, but he is stunned by the rest. The queen makes the same face his mom does when she is hurt, and trying to hide it ( she has gotten worse at hiding it ) " I thought you said you loved Emma" he says. " If you love her, why do you sound like you hate her?"
The queen shakes her head. "I do not despise her"
" Does mom still love her?"
The queen makes a derisive sound. " I could burry your mother's heart somewhere on the North Pole, and the moron would still love Emma"
" You don't understand that"
The queen doesn't really answer. " Emma Swan is.. quite something" is all she says, like it all makes sense. It doesn't , because she isn't supposed to love anyone but she kind of seems like she loves Emma but she wouldn't hurt Emma like this if she loved her-
" Do you love her?"
The queen laughs. "I want to strangle her pretty neck" he is already reacting to the threat before she has finished, but he suddenly freezes. Literally. The queen has betrayed him again, and all his muscles suddenly burn slightly and stop doing what he wants them to do. " Tranquilízate, mijo. I am the part of your mother that does not love, si?"
He can still talk, thankfully. " You said you loved me"
" I do love you" the queen just says, even though Henry still doesn't understand. He wants to ask her why she is hurting them then, and whether she can love at all, and why mom said she couldn't, and how come she hurt anyone if she loves? But she doesn't let him ask the questions, she just keeps talking.
"I know exactly when we started to love you. You were carried into the room, and they put you in my arms. That was all it took for us to love you. And we never stopped"
" And Emma?" he asks, because he knows how much his mom loves him. He knows she has loved him for a long time, and there isn't anything that will stop it. But she hardly even admits she loves Emma as a friend.
" Emma was more complicated. As I told you, Regina's feelings started to change after she fought for you, and saved you. I do not think of either can pinpoint the exact moment"
" Is that why you want to take us? Because we matter to mom?"
" You matter to me as well"
She snaps her fingers, and Henry stumbles when he suddenly can move again. He stares at her in confusion. " What- "
His stomach jolts in a way he didn't even know it could and all the oxygen gets stuck or turns poisonous. The queen is holding two hearts, and he feels himself start to sweat, his heart beating in a way that hurts.
" No, you can't !" he tries to grab them, but both of them start to float and he can't get to them. The queen watches them with a small smile.
" We can test whether you are a liar"
"NO" he screams
" Or- " there's smoke and his hear clenches painfully as his mom appears, looking like he has never seen her before. She looks small he thinks for a moment, which is so wrong that he is relieved when she lifts her head and glares at the queen. She is struggling to stand, in the middle of a really foul curse, when her heart drops,
And lands in the queen's hand. " Do not move, and do not speak" she commands, and stares at Henry challenging.
She shows him the heart. "What will it be, Henry? Will you do it yourself, or will you help me break your mother? "
He shakes his head. " N-no" he stammers
The heart is warm, and not sticky at all. The queen's hand is on top of it, after placing it in his hand. She is still holding mom's, and he has never hated anything or anyone like this.
" The choice is yours. You leave with me, and I will only kill your grandparents. You stay, and I will do a lot more damage"
"Fine! Fine, I will leave " he blurts out, blinking rapidly. He tastes blood , and there are five seconds where the queen keeps the heart in his hand, and then she slowly pulls back. He is just sighing in relief when the heart vanishes again, and reappears in her hand.
"There is just one more thing" the queen says, looking at the heart. " I cannot kill Regina, because her death will mean I die as well. I haven't quite solved that conundrum yet"
Henry shakes his head. He can't even talk -not because of magic or his throat closing up, just because he can't. The queen smiles at him, and he almost pulls an Emma and punches her. He stares at her as she brings the heart to her lips, at the same time pushing the heart in Regina's hand.
"Squeeze it"
His mom shakes furiously, her hand trembling and there's spasm and tears and fear and he is screaming at the queen in the middle of it- and then his mom cries out and the heart is squeezed to dust. She mutters something, and she is really crying now.
Henry hugs her really tightly, and only lets go when there are vines bursting through the floor and pulling him back with a lot of force. Before he can even cry out, the queen is summoning and squeezing another heart and his mom is released and trying not to sob.
" For disobeying me " the queen says, wiping the dust from her fingers. Henry tries to pull free from the vines, and curses at her furiously. He throws every damn swear word he has ever heard a classmate say, anything his mom mutters under her breath when she thinks he doesn't hear her, everything Leroy has accidentally said around him.
The queen purses her lips and Regina shakes her head , crying " No, not Henry, leave him- " amidst sobs before she is gone and her heart is too. Henry's still fighting the vines but they're so strong and he can feel his muscles starting to protest. He can hardly see the queen approach.
She wipes away the tears "Do not cry" she commands
" I alr- I al- I already promised" he chokes out
"And I will only kill as many people as I need to have Regina lose everything she has built"
"No, you can't kill anyone , you can't "he cries, but she ignores him. And then it gets worse, it actually gets worse. Emma is there, in Snow's clothing and wrapped in a blanket. He screams again.
"You said you loved her!"
" I will not hurt her" the queen says, walking over to a cauldron Henry didn't notice ( how could he have missed it?) and dropping a small bottle in it. She grabs something else, something with hairs and long legs and many eyes-dozen of them.
" You are lying" Henry accuses, throwing his entire body against the vines, biting them, kicking, screaming, scratching, cursing. Pants, stops, and starts again. Repeat.
"No. Regina will hurt her"
" What? No, you don't hurt my mom more, you don't make her do that !" he yells.
" What is my specialty, Henry?"
" Lasagna? "he supplies, hopefully. It would be amazing if the queen suddenly was like 'I am making lasagna, and I never let you help because one of my secret ingredients is odd spider things'. Of course, that would mean he had been eating – yeah, he would still be jumping with joy if something like that was the answer
"Curses. Specifically, curses that allow me to change someone's memories"
" You're- but- you're going to change Emma's memories?"
" I am going to change memories, yes" she finishes adding things to the cauldron, and he finally stops fighting the vines when she turns to him. He presses back, heart hammering
"I just need one more ingredient"
I hope you enjoyed the chapter : )
No sé : I don't know
La reina es la pieza más fuerte: the queen is the strongest piece
" La reina es fuerte, porque su principito la quiere"; the queen is strong because her Little prince loves her
Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi sol, arrorró pedazo, de mi corazón: hush-a-bye my baby, hush-a-bye my sun, hush-a-bye oh piece of my heart
Este niño lindo ya quiere dormir; háganle la cuna de rosa y yazmín : this pretty child wants to sleep already , make him a cradle of rose and jasmine