"Everything's gonna be alright," he said.
He placed an arm around her shoulders and held her close to his side while they both stood on top of the stairs and looked out on the woods. It never seized to amaze her how incredible warm his skin was and she always leaned into his touch, wanting more.
"You're always so sure of everything," she said.
"You see, everything's gonna turn out just the way it's supposed to," he said.
"And how is it supposed to be?" She asked.
She let out a loud sigh and he gently squeezed her shoulder.
"It's not fair, you know. She wasn't supposed to get sick. She isn't supposed to die already. I'm not supposed to deal with this shit already. I don't wanna be alone," she fought back the tears.
"You're not alone. You found me," he said.
"Are you even real?" She asked.
"I'm here. That's all that matters," he answered.
She pushed his arm away. For the first time she felt slightly angry at this strange man she had come to be so fond of. He had been her calm in her stormy life and yet he also felt like a crazy hurricane about to tear everything apart.
"Yes, it matters!" She sounded more angry than she meant to. "Am I losing my god damn mind here?"
"You won't lose me," he said just as calmly as he always spoke.
"You don't get it. It's been..." She quickly counted the days in her mind. "...nine days of me coming here, walking up a freaking staircase in the middle of the woods and everytime I go down again, it disappears. It fucking disappears! Where do you go to? Are you even here?"
He placed his hands on her cheeks, gently stroking them with his thumbs, calming her down instantly. He bowed down to get into eye level with her and she let out a little mewl, wanting nothing more than for him to kiss her right in that moment.
"I'm here. I was always here. You just weren't ready to see me before," he said.
"Where do you go everytime I walk away?" She whispered.
"Nowhere. I'm always here," he said and smiled. "I'll always be here for you."
She leaned forward slowly, hoping he would allow her the kiss she craved so bad. Instead he leaned back up, standing tall above her, still smiling down at her.
"Go now. Your mother needs you," he said.
Frustrated she turned around and walked down the stairs. He always did that. He drew her right in just to send her on her way again, leaving her wanting more. More of this, more of him.
"Phoenix!" A voice called out to her as she walked down the hallway towards her mother's room.
She turned around to see the familiar face of one of the many doctors. He strode fast towards her and gave her a comforting look that she didn't like seeing in that moment.
"Before you go in there," he started.
"Tell me," she demanded.
"She's taken a toll for the worse. She probably won't even notice you're in there," he said.
"How long does she have left?" She asked, trying to be brave.
"Not long. A few days maybe if you're lucky," he answered.
He placed a hand on her shoulder and she just stared at it. It wasn't warm like Roman's hand and right now she wanted to feel him more than ever.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Yeah, me too," she whispered.
He squeezed her shoulder and went away again. She sighed heavily before making her way into her mother's room. She couldn't fight the tears anymore as she saw her mother lying there with her eyes closed, asleep and drugged up on as much medicine as her body could take so she was kept as painfree as possible.
"Mom," she cried. "Don't leave me. Please, mom. I'm not ready to lose you."