In the days leading up to the fourth of July, James Potter had the first real fight he and Lily had ever had.

"What do you mean you don't do the fourth? Everybody does the fourth," James said.

"I don't. I'll acknowledge that it happens and that sometimes it's a good time to meet up with family and friends but patriotism is toxic bullshit," Lily said, standing in front of the bed looking stern.

"But… fireworks? And hot dogs and burgers! It's not about… like whether we love what America is… it's about fun and just… celebrating the land of the free," James said.

"I'm surprised at you James. You've never seemed ignorant about oppression and privilege," Lily commented.

"I'm not. I've been dealing with racism my entire life. I'm not like… turning my back on Black Lives Matter by saying I love America," James countered.

"I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth," Lily replied sharply.

"Sorry," James frowned.

"America isn't great. It could be great, but it isn't. I'm not telling you what to do with your time and energy but for me, I don't say the pledge of allegiance or sing the national anthem or celebrate the fourth of July," Lily declared.

"I just… want you there. Everyone will be there, even Remus's family," James insisted.

"Mary won't be there," Lily pointed out.

James sighed.

"I just don't see why it's a big deal. It's not like the government is gonna notice that Lily Evans didn't come to watch fireworks,"

"Lily Evans will notice that Lily Evans didn't come to watch fireworks. It's not for the government. It's for me. I don't feel it," Lily replied.

"But… what about what you feel for all of us?" James pleaded.

"Just… let it go, James," Lily said.

"Are you just worrying Severus will be there?" James asked.

"I'm sure he will be. And no, I don't care about that. Do you take me for a liar?" Lily replied, an edge to her voice.

"No. I just… thought maybe it could be a factor," James admitted.

"Actually, no, I had managed to push Severus out of my mind, but now he's back again, so thanks, James," Lily said, sounding annoyed.

"Sorry. Look, I'll just go…" James said, standing up from the bed and grabbing his wallet.

"Do you usually runaway from arguments?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"We're not arguing. You're right and I'm wrong. I'm an asshole," James conceded.

Lily sighed.

"I'm sorry, James. I wish I didn't care. But I do. I grew up knowing the way this country uses, abuse and exploits Puerto Rico. And that isn't just the government's problem. Most people here, especially white people, don't give a fuck about Puerto Rico or even know that Puerto Ricans are US citizens," Lily said.

"I… didn't know. I mean, I know now. But when I met you and you said you were Puerto Rican… I knew it was a US territory… but I didn't know. I looked it up," James said, not turning around to face her.

"Typical. Disappointing but typical," Lily said.

"I'm sorry," James said.

Lily sighed again.

"It's OK. Look, I don't want to fight with you, James," Lily insisted.

"Me either," James said, turning around and facing her.

"I can't explain to you all of my complicated feelings about this country in the span of one day," Lily said.

"I just… can't stand being without you. I'm selfish in that way. If I'm doing something cool, I want you there. I'm sentimental. Being with the ones I love is what makes me feel alive. If you're not there… it won't be the same," James said with a frown.

Lily nodded.

"Let me think about it. We've still got two days until Saturday."

"All right," James said, trying to prevent himself from smiling.

"It's weird," Remus said.

"Sure. What is?" Sirius replied as they got ready to go over to Brattleboro for fireworks.

"I'm nervous," Remus admitted.

"You'll be fine. I'll be with you," Sirius said.

"I meant the cabin," Remus countered.

"Oh. Really?" Sirius said.

"Yeah. There's going to be a lot of us under one roof. And with you and I sharing a room… Let's just say that I haven't had much alone time recently and two weeks without it…" Remus trailed off, looking sad and exhausted.

"I mean… we don't have to share a room. I could sleep somewhere else," Sirius said.

"No. You're fine. I just… need some time to recharge at some point. Maybe some walks through the woods," Remus said.

Sirius frowned. He felt terrible for Remus. He wished he better understood what he was going through. Sirius got anxiety attacks sometimes but being around people was usually fine.

"What's it like? I usually find being around people gives me energy," Sirius said.

"I find the opposite. It's like I have a battery that's being slowly drained and that's on top of all the anxiety I feel," Remus said.

"Why aren't you nervous about the fireworks?" Sirius said.

"I am but… it's different. Most of those people will ignore me. But you guys… I'll be expected to be social and interact. It's exhausting and I'm already exhausted," Remus admitted.

"Is there anything I can do?" Sirius asked, walking around to Remus.

"No. Just… be there. Except when I need to be alone," Remus said.

"OK. I'll do that," Sirius said then gave Remus a kiss.

"I guess we should go," Remus said.

"Yeah. James is probably waiting," Sirius replied.

As people gathered in the park in Brattleboro where they were going to be lighting off fireworks, Lily wondered what she was doing there. She didn't like the feeling of betraying her own principles. After their fight, James later sat her down and said he had changed his mind. He thought she should stand up for her principles.

And that had been that for a day or so… but she woke up that morning… feeling like she needed to do it. She didn't want to stand for the America that disappointed her. She wanted to stand for the America that James loved. The one that held promise. She wasn't sure she believed in that America but she wanted to believe in it and perhaps for that evening that would be enough.

Everyone sat on towels, blankets and lawn chairs as they waited on a hill for the fireworks. There were people grilling burgers and hot dogs nearby. There were a few people already wearing Trump 2016 tee-shirts, making her clench her fists in silence.

Dorcas was sharing a blanket with Peter while Mary was by himself. Lily went and sat down next to him, while James was busy talking with Remus and Sirius.

"Hey," Lily said.

"Hey, babe," Mary said, leaning over to give Lily a kiss.

"I'm surprised you came," Lily said.

"Well, everyone is here," Mary replied.

"Everyone is always here," Lily countered

Mary laughed.

"No, babe. Everyone as in… all of us. Our group. This family or whatever," Mary said, gesturing at the four blankets they were all occupying.

"Oh. Right. But I mean… I only barely came," Lily admitted.

Mary's parents were Abenaki and Cherokee and that gave him his own perspective on America. Though Lily thought that his issues with America were more complicated than that.

"I guess I decided being here was important. I'm excited about the cabin. It's gonna be good to get away and… just be together… with people I love," Mary said, reaching over to hold Lily's hand.

Lily smiled and lifted his hand to her mouth, planting a small kiss on it. Sometimes Lily really thought she was in love with love. Head over heels with it, in fact.

"Hey," a familiar voice said in a presumptuous tone.

Lily sighed.

"Hey, Sev," she said flatly, turning behind her to see him standing there.

"Can we talk?" he said.

"I suppose," she said and stood up.

"Well?" she said, standing in front of him.

"Can we go somewhere more private?" Severus asked.

"Fine," she said and followed him towards the edge of the woods.

"You're looking good," Severus said as they stopped at the edge of the surrounding woods.

"Thanks," Lily said, refusing to return the compliment.

"Are you coming to the wedding?" he asked.

"I said I would. I keep my promises," Lily said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm surprised you'd want to come to my wedding," Severus observed.

"I don't. I want to go with my boyfriend to his ex-girlfriend's wedding," Lily replied.

Severus scowled.

"Isn't there… any part of you that still cares about me?" he asked.

Lily sighed.

"Of course, there is. But it's buried under a lot of hurt, resentment and anger. You really hurt me, Sev. And despite that I tried to be the bigger person and mend things with you. But you treated me like a terrible person just because I didn't feel the way about you that you wanted me to feel."

"That's not true. That's not true at all. I didn't have to want you to feel anything that I didn't believe you were feeling already," Sev said and Lily groaned.

"Get over it, dude. You were my friend. You were a damn good friend. I was as honest with you as I could have possibly been. I never lead you on or pretended something that wasn't true," Lily replied with frustration.

"No, no. It's OK. I understand now. I don't think you are a liar. You have some sort of block when it comes to me. Something that won't let you let go," Severus said.

Lily clenched a fist and sighed.

"Did you really want to bring me aside just to piss me off? I'm sorry, Sev, but I never felt anything for you. And you know the worst thing? It's that maybe someday I would have. Who knows? Not me. Not you. And we never will. Because you wanted exactly what you wanted when you wanted it," Lily said.

Severus looked down at his feet then back up again. It was something resembling regret.

"I'm sorry. Really. I am. I've grown up a lot these last two years. I'm in college now. I'm going to be an engineer. I'm getting married. Charity and I are going to have a child," Severus proclaimed proudly.

"Charity is pregnant?" Lily asked and Sev nodded.

"We aren't telling anyone but… I suppose I can tell you," Severus grinned.

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Lily asked.

"It's not my decision to make," Severus replied, not really answering the question, though Lily couldn't disagree with his statement.

Charity was older, perhaps that would offset Severus's youth. Or perhaps Lily was being too judgmental. She knew that were she to get pregnant she would want the child. But on the other hand, she would have a lot of support from other people. Charity and Severus would only have each other.

"Sev… I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest," Lily said.

"Ask anything," Severus said.

"Why were you trying to meet people in Oregon on OkCupid?" Lily asked.

Severus looked away, seeming nervous.

"I… It's not what it looks like," Severus insisted.

"You said you would be honest," Lily said.

"Fine. I'll be honest. I was curious. I was lonely. With you gone… Dammit, Lily, you were my only friend," Severus plead, his eyes shining with tears.

"I didn't end our friendship, Sev. You did. That's on you!"

Severus grunted and shook his head.

"Be that as it may… I wasn't in a good place. I had a moment of weakness. But… I saw Charity's profile. Maybe you won't believe me but… I was instantly attracted to her. So I messaged her. We got along. She's… almost perfect. We share the same values and worldview," Severus said.

"Did you know I was dating her ex-boyfriend?" Lily said.

"Not at first, obviously. I saw it on Facebook," Sev said, confirming something Lily strongly suspected.

Lily wanted to call him out for having some stalkerish tendencies but for now was pleased to be getting some honesty out of him.

"So you noticed he was friends with Charity?" Lily asked.

"Oh, she had told me all about her ex-boyfriend James. And showed me pictures. When I saw that you were dating him I knew exactly who he was. It's a small world, after all," Severus said.

The whole thing made Lily uncomfortable but she couldn't deny that she had looked people up online who she used to know. Though she had certainly never looked up the area any exes lived on a dating website. That was weird but at least he wasn't denying it.

"Well… I appreciate you being honest, Sev," Lily said.

"Will you forgive me?" Severus begged.

"Tell me what it is you think you need forgiveness for," Lily said, worried he still might not understand.

Severus looked down at the ground, seeming thoughtful as his black hair hung over his eyes.

"I am sorry for… Sleeping with you after your mother died. That was wrong. You were vulnerable. I know you initiated it but… I should've said no," Severus said.

That wasn't Lily's top concern but she still said, "Thank you."

"I'm sorry that when you reached out to me and try to preserve our friendship… I wish I would've tried to mend things," he said.

"I agree. Thank you," Lily said, still waiting for the big one.

"I'm sorry that we haven't spoken since then," Severus said.

"Anything else?" Lily said.

Severus pursed his lips, looking nervous.

"Seriously? Come on, dude," Lily said, starting to walk away.

"No, Lily, wait. I'm… I'm sorry I… I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I was hurt and said things I shouldn't have," he said.

"That's putting it mildly, Sev. As I recall, you shamed me for my life choices. You shamed me for my sex work, oh and if you are wondering, yes I still let strangers jack off to me on the internet. I welcome it in fact because it pays the bills," Lily declared.

Severus looked very uncomfortable and tried to speak but couldn't seem to produce any words.

"You judged me for everything that I am because fucking you hadn't made me fall in love with you. I was honest with you. You promised me that sleeping me with me wouldn't change anything. I'm sorry you were hurt but that's not my fault! You hurt me, Sev. You betrayed me," Lily said, her eyes feeling damp.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Severus said.

"Are you? Are you really? Or am I just making you uncomfortable? Dammit, Sev. You really disappointed me," Lily said.

Severus looked down at the ground. Lily thought he might be crying.

"I don't know if we can ever be friends again. I hate closing doors. For now… I think I'm still hurting. Maybe someday. I don't know," Lily said, and walked away, leaving him there looking at the grass.

"Remus!" Natalie said, running up to him and Sirius laying together on their blanket.

"Hey, Nat. What's up?" Remus said.

"Hey, Nat," Sirius said.

"Hey. Uh… Remus, could you come with me?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah. I'll be back, Sirius," Remus said, standing up to follow his sister.

"No worries. I'll keep the blanket warm for you," Sirius said.

"I found her. Mom's girlfriend or whatever," Natalie said.

"Really? How?" Remus said, following Natalie down to where people were grilling food.

"She's there," Natalie said, pointing to a blonde haired middle-aged woman who was standing arm in arm with a butch woman the same age.

"Did you literally just find a lesbian and decide that was her?" Remus asked.

"No. I… did some digging. Actually… God, I know this isn't cool but… I got on mom's computer and checked her Facebook. I figured she's probably been searching for her. She's the only local lesbian mom has been creeping on. Her name is Amelia Hayworth," Natalie said.

"Nat, that's not cool!" Remus screeched.

"Fuck, I know, dude. I'm sorry, Remus. But how else was I going to find her?" Natalie said.

"I don't know. Well, now what do we do?" Remus said.

"We lie. We go up to her and say our mom mentioned knowing her. She's a librarian. We say mom noticed her at the library and said that she used to know her," Natalie said.

"Were you stoned when you concocted this plan?" Remus asked.

"Dude, I'm stoned now. What's the worse that could happen?" Natalie said and casually started walking to the woman as Remus followed, terrified.

"Excuse me, Miss. Hayworth? Hi, I'm Natalie Lupin. This is my brother, Remus," Natalie said.

"Sylvia's kids? Oh, it's lovely to meet you!" Miss. Hayworth said, shaking their hands.

"Hi, I'm Barb," her partner said, also shaking their hands.

"Uh, yeah, our mom said she used to know you? You went to church together?" Natalie said.

Amelia frowned briefly but ultimately smiled.

"Yes, we did," Amelia said.

"We… we had some questions," Natalie said.

"Is Sylvia here?" Amelia said, looking around with worry.

"Yeah, but she's up on the hill with my father. She's not going to come down here," Natalie said.

"Yeah. All right. Barb, do you mind?" Amelia said.

"Go ahead. I'll be waiting here," Barb smiled.

Amelia Hayworth followed them over to a nearby tree, Remus unsure exactly what was about to happen.

"So… I don't mean to get personal, Miss. Hayworth, but-"

"Please, call me Amelia," she insisted.

"Oh. All right. Amelia, our mom… We were wondering how you knew her?" Natalie asked.

Amelia sighed.

"Your mom… She was a very nice girl. We went to church together. I thought she was cute. And that girl loved Jesus, let me tell you. And I was pretty in love with Jesus too. I've never been much of a Christian. The rest of the bible doesn't interest me. Just Jesus. I think we were drawn together, your mother and I," Amelia admitted.

"She said she invited you to dinner?" Natalie asked.

"Well, yes, but… it didn't really happen like that. We were good friends. I thought maybe she was attracted to me but since she said she was straight I wanted her to make the first move. But gosh by the time she invited me to stay the night with her… we'd been friends for months," Amelia said.

Remus's mouth fell open and he glanced at Natalie who was having a similar reaction.

"I'm guessing she told a different version. Ah. Well, this is the truth as the best I recall it. She'd been hinting around for weeks that we should hang out at her place. But I was afraid. I was falling in love with a straight woman. She finally directly asked and I said yes. We went there and sat on her sofa and gossiped about Jesus. She never talked about her boyfriend… your father. Only in passing. You'd think Jesus was the only man in her life."

Remus and Natalie both looked at each other in shared disbelief as she continued, "She kept scooting closer and closer to me. I was so nervous. I was young but not so young that I didn't know better than to kiss straight girls. But she asked if she could kiss me and I said yes. And the kiss kept going… you can… use your imaginations for what came next."

"She said you were the one who tried to kiss her," Remus said, astonished.

Amelia frowned.

"That's not true. It makes an easy story when you don't want to make yourself seem anything less than straight. But it's not true. In the morning, I woke up feeling nervous but excited. And also guilty for having participated in infidelity. But she… she was very upset. I tried to talk to her… tell her how I felt and what the night before had meant to me but… she just kept telling me how she was sorry and that she wasn't a lesbian. She loved her boyfriend. For the first time she really needed me to know how much she loved her boyfriend. She said it wasn't fair that I had seduced her, knowing that she was heterosexual. I was hurt and furious. I told her not to call me. I quit that church."

"She said the opposite but without all the drama," Natalie said.

Amelia sighed and shook her head.

"As far as I know she quit the church too after I had quit. I asked some other people. She had asked around about me you see. She called me once but I hung up as soon as I heard her voice on the other end."

"So do you think our mom is a lesbian?" Natalie said.

"I have no idea what's in your mother's heart. But I know she had feelings for me. There are things you can't fake. That night we spent together was real," Amelia said.

"We want to help her," Remus said.

"Don't. Leave her alone. God, I shouldn't even be telling you both these things," Amelia said, looking anxious.

"So you haven't spoken to her in all these years?" Natalie asked.

Amelia blinked and looked confused.

"I see her every week. We meet up for tea every Wednesday. We have for about twenty years. Maybe a little longer. We buried the hatchet years ago. Or I guess… I forgave her. I'm confused, she didn't tell you we were friends?" Amelia asked.

"No," Remus said.

Amelia sighed and looked sad.

"I bet she hasn't told your father either then," Amelia said, looking increasingly upset.

Remus felt sad. Their mother was even keeping their friendship a secret.

"I'm sorry," Remus said.

"No, no, it's fine. Just… disappointing. I… have to go. I need to talk to my wife," Amelia said, waving goodbye and quickly walking away.

"How could she do that?" Natalie asked.

"I don't know. But I think it's time for us to butt out of mom's personal life. Maybe we aren't helping. Maybe we are just making things worse. What if this was a good thing in their lives and we just ruined it?" Remus said.

"I don't know," Natalie said and looked at her phone.

Remus looked at his phone. It was almost time for the fireworks.

"Firework time," Natalie said.

"Yeah. Let's go," Remus said.

Remus was looking bummed when he came and sat back down on the blanket with Sirius.

"You OK?" Sirius asked as Remus sat down between Sirius's legs.

"I guess. Mom lied about her lesbian friend. Big time. It was more than she said it was and they are still friends," Remus said.

"Wow. That sucks. That she lied," Sirius said, kissing the back of Remus's golden-brown hair and wrapping his arms around him.

"Yeah. I guess… I wish she could grow up today. Things aren't perfect but… maybe she wouldn't be closeted," Remus said.

"She's not dead. Maybe things will turn around for her. She has a lot of life left to live. Give her time," Sirius said.

"You're probably right," Remus said as Sirius pressed his face into the side of Remus's.

The fireworks started shortly. Personally, Sirius didn't care about fireworks but for some reason they felt more romantic than ever before. Remus kept leaning around to kiss him. Sirius wasn't a fan of public affection but no one was watching them anyway. They were all watching the exploding colors in the sky.

It was true that they lived in an era where they could relax a little here and there and be queer together in non-queer spaces. That was nice, he thought. He hoped for Remus's sake that his mother would be able to come to terms with her sexuality, whatever it was.

One of them should be able to relate to their mother. Sirius would never be able to relate to his mother. He'd gotten the call from his cousin Andromeda yesterday. He hadn't found the energy to tell anyone yet, just like he hadn't found the energy to tell anyone about the job in Portland. He told himself he would tell everyone while they were at the cabin.

Remus was smiling so happily and looking so filled with life. Sirius kissed him again as shades of red and blue filled the sky. I can tell him my mother died later, Sirius thought and pushed it out of his mind.