A/N: I know it has been a month, sorry. I just needed some time to figure out how to end this. As you can see... this is not the ending. I still have a chapter or two to go, it just keeps coming, so please bare with me. We will make it through this thing together. Promise. As always, I live on comments! I need them to survive. So comment. Comment good. Comment bad. Anything. Love you all.

Chapter 6

And oh, OH! Morty would make him pay, alright. Rick could just hide and watch. And hide, and find out.

The muscles around the crystal shards embedded along the posterior side of his body twanged every time he bent to pick up the ones that weren't. Morty wasn't too upset about the hundreds of memories that he'd never get to view. Once a few years back he had unbeknownst to anyone, snuck into this room without permission from Rick...what did he find out? Some things were better left unseen.

'I'll do it, too. I'll get him.' Morty said out loud as if to convince himself that he could. 'He won't even know what h-hit, what even got him.'

Morty paused.

...But how?

Rick was literally the smartest being in the world. The galaxy. The multiverse! His grandfather would see right through any revenge ploy Morty could come up with.

Morty grabbed a broom and began sweeping up the smaller chunks of crystal.

He supposed he could just call Rick out...tell him that he knew the truth, and snarkily mention it every time he screwed up, but where was the fun in that?And what was to stop Rick from erasing that too? Morty just got the memory back, he didn't want to lose it again. No, the only way to defeat a Rick at anything, was a to make him think that he wanted to lose.

Morty thought and thought and thought some more. Then it hit him. He had it. The silver lining. The whole enchilada. And OH was Rick going to get it.

Morty would just have to seduce Rick.

A portal zapped into existence and Rick walked or rather stumbled, though.

"A-And that's the waaaaaaay the news goes!" Rick yelled." Wooo! Woah...wh-OUGH-at happened here? Nevermind that, O-oh man, Morty, you missed the greatest...the- the best party EVER!."

"A party, Rick? W-what about the gramflamites?"

"Oh yeah-yeah-yeah. So it turns out we didn't need to freeze them or shoot them at all, Morty. We just needed to get them really, really, drunk. Super shit-faced, Morty. I negotiated peace between our two species while we did shots of jager. We shouldn't have any more problems from them...they left to their own planet ages ago."

As Rick spoke Morty noticed he was surveying the room discreetly. Scouring it with a keen eye for all his hiding places. When he landed on the non-existent panel Morty had opened he gazed at it a fraction too long for Morty's comfort.

Was the jig up already? Damn...How did he always do that? Morty was sure he had left it perfect. Wiping his fingerprints off with his shirt and blowing a bit of dust on the edges.

"B-But I already pressed the button, Rick!" Morty said to keep the conversation going, not because it would distract Rick in the slightest, but because he had to act normal.

"Relax, It only re-OUGH-ally had an effect on your stupi- your dumb dog, Morty. Just don't let anyone pet him for l-like an hour. " Rick turned back to him.

"You're hurt."

"Yeah...that- your fucking robot of death almost got me this time Rick. I mean, Jesus, can't you make those things voice activated?"

"Or you could not mess with shit that doesn't bel-OUGH-ng to you."

"O-Or you can tell me exactly where time remotes are instead of making me dig through your creepy dangerous basement full of psychotic-"

"Okay, alright Morty. Damn, just let me take a look."

"N-no it's fine, I can-"

Rick spun him round and shoved him in the seat backward. "Yeah, Yeah, shut up and let grandpa take care of this."

For all of Rick's brash attitude and drunken escapades, Morty was always astonished by his steady, clinical, hands. He fished some tweezers out of one of the drawers, wiped some blue gunk off of them and on Morty's pants and began to pluck out the shards from his shoulder. When he finished with everything he could see, Rick burped out the order: "Strip."

Morty should have known to expect it, but still, he froze.

"Oh, don't be such a dipass, Morty. Just tr-OUGH-y, try not to get your rocks off you sick fuck." Rick said.

Morty forced himself to relax, dropping his shoulders. This was a test. Rick knew Morty would want to shout and holler and scream from the top of a very tall building that Rick wanted Morty too if he knew anything. Morty tried not to grimace at the fact that he was always so readable. So instead, Morty rolled his eyes instead and began peeling his clothes off. " Yeah, y-y-your a real one trick pony, Rick. Can't you come up with something better or is that the only thing you have to throw at me? That was ages ago, Rick, almost a full year. Besides, I am over all that, whatever you want to call it, a crisis or whatever."

"Over it, Morty?" Rick questioned, leaning in to help him carefully unstick some bloody cloth from his skin.

"Yeah, I have a real good thing going with M-Morgan. Or I did until you killed her. You're an ass, you know, a real grade A ass."

"Wh-What do you want, Morty, do you want an apology? Fine. I am sorry I was trying to make bounds in the zit cream field, Morty."

"And…?"

"And for killing your girlfriend."

Morty sighed.

Rick belched.

"Man, now everyone that knew me is dead...I'm a dweeb again."

"When did you stop being one?"

Despite the pain, Morty twisted to punch Rick's shoulder, his grandpa was smirking. Morty couldn't help doing the same. It wasn't a full-on reconcile, but it would have to do.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know, maybe online college?"

"Gross."

"Yeah, I know, but the nearest college is another three hours away from where my old one was."

Rick didn't respond, but he paused in his plucking.

"Morty, were you serious, a-about the whole 'over your crisis' thing?"

"Yeah, Rick, you- you don't even have to worry anymore. Everything can just be normal." Morty said.

Tink. Tink. Tink. Went the crystal's after a long moment's pause, falling to the floor as Rick began plucking them out again. "Right, normal...normal…."

'...Let the games begin….' Morty mused.

****One Month Later****

Morty slowly pushed open the garage door to find Rick switching a holographic version of his mom off and on and off again.

"He-OUGH-y, Hey Morty."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

"Oh, O-Ok then. Hey, Grandpa R-Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel if-if-I brought a friend with me on our next adventure, Saturday."

"Wh-what a new girlfriend alrea-OUGH-dy, M-morty?"

"Yeah, something like that…"

"It's kinda our th- kinda our thing, Morty."

"I know, but this one is special."

"Ugh, yeah sure whatever, bring your little...what was her name?"

"Jesse."

"Big surprise, yeah bring your little slut Jesse, t-then, but if, OUGH, if she gets killed, it's on you."

"Ah Jeez, you're not going to try and kill Jesse, are you?"

"Wh-OUGH-at what the fuck, Morty. No, Morty. I don't go killing the people you like for the hell of it, Morty."

"Coulda fooled me…"

"Stop, fuck, stop with your little ass-itude, or she can't come." Rick said.

"Fine." Morty said.

Morty closed the door to the garage almost immediately after the word left his lips, he had gotten what he had wanted, and things, while "normal" were still too recent for Morty to be convincing enough to not escape Rick's skeptical gaze. So, he grabbed a snack from the fridge as he passed it and continued out the front door of his parents house.

He had been having an itch to keep up with his health recently. Kind of a kick he had been on and off of for the past year, sometimes he'd hit the gym, sometimes he'd go running, and sometimes, like today, he just took a long slow walk to Jesse Hemirman's ranch, ten miles out of town.

The air was warm, but not sweltering, Morty could hardly believe that the seasons were changing again. He tried to be present, ya' know, mindful, as he walked. That was what all the websites said to do when you started to feel stressed out. And as he hit the last mile marker on the narrow dirt road before the ranch, Morty really started to feel warm under the collar so to speak. Morty noticed every grain of dirt and every pebble and every blade of grass and every cloud. It did nothing to ease his mind.

Today was an important day for him and Jesse, and he didn't want to fuck it up. Today was the day Jesse was going to pop his cherry.

Morty dallied on the driveway and hem-hawed at Jesse's truck and took his time with the steps to his door, which opened as he was thinking real hard about whether to ring the doorbell or knock.

"Morty, this is so painful to watch." Jesse said, making an odd figure as he leaned against the open doorframe, looking like a freaky lumberjack-scientist, with square glasses on his face and piercings all up his left ear, in wranglers and an open plaid shirt. In one hand he pinched a Camel Menthol cigarette and grasped a beaker full of some green liquid in the other. "You sure you want to do this? I ain't in no rush."

Morty could see his chest hair bulking out like the rest of his body, ready to move the wrong, or right way, depending on perspective, and shred all the fabric right off. He didn't know if that was supposed to be appalling or appealing.

"N-no, I, I, I want to do this. Ya, know? I, I, I'm good." Morty said.

"...Right…" Jesse said, unconvinced, but the look in his eye as he scanned Morty suggested that he was going to uphold his end, if that was what Morty wanted.

It wasn't, not really.

Jesse was a cool guy and all, but Morty was really only into this so he could be prepared when the inevitable happened between him and Rick. He had seen Rick's, you know, one-eye'd-trouser-snake and he wouldn't even let that thing near him flaccid without a little prep work first.

So Morty walked in at Jesse's gesture and took a seat on the couch. His boyfriend, Morty mentally cringed, slowly settled beside him, as if afraid any sudden movement would send him back toward the door.

'Who knows, it probably would.' Morty thought.

Over the last week Jesse had been instructing him with toys, it really wasn't all that bad. You couldn't call it pleasurable, but at least he knew it wasn't going to hurt. No, the thought that really had him riled up was doing the deed with another man. Morty wasn't gay, after all, Rick was just a special case. What if Morty got a burst of hormones and punched Jesse in the face or something? His plan would go to shit….

Jesse took a long drag and blew it out slowly, leaning forward to pour some whiskey into a glass and pass it over. Morty accepted and downed it, thought a moment, then grabbed the bottle and started slamming it back.

"Okay...Alright. Easy Morty, Damn it!" Jesse said, tearing the bottle away. " I don't know what you're expecting, but you can just relax, this isn't going to be difficult."

"Y-You're right, sorry. Just a little nervous."

"Well cowboy up, son."

"I'm not tough like you Jesse. I can't just, just,..."

"It's a joke. Man you are really scared outa your wits, huh?"

"I...I am not u-used to being on the bottom, ya' know?"

"I know, but I am not a topper, and you keep saying you need this."

"I do."

"Alright, well, come here. That's it. Sit on my lap, darlin'. We will take this nice and slow…"

***SATURDAY***

"Wh-OUGH-o, who the fuck is this Morty?" Rick said, opening his flask and taking a quick swig.

"Rick, meet Jesse. Jesse, this is my Grandpa Rick."

"Pleasure, Sir." Jesse said in his long drawl, holding out a hand. "I've heard so much about you."

"It's a-all lies, I OUGH I promise you." Rick said.

"No sir, I am just a big fan of your work. I am a scientist too ya' see." Jesse

"Really…" Rick hummed, leaving Jesse's hand dangling in the air, before turning to Morty, one half of his unibrow raised. "What the backward hillbilly shit is this, Morty? You gay now or something?"

"Rick!"

"What is that not the proper term now, Morty? Does fudge-packer work better? You a-a some kinda anal astronaut? A donut muncher? A backdoor bandit? A Jirp-slurper?-"

Morty put his face into his palms. Jesse slowly lowered his hand.

"-A fairy? A muscle mary? A pillow-biter? A turd-terminator? Take your pick, Morty. I-OUGH-I could go on forever."

"How very one-dimensional of you, Rick." Morty sighed, already tired.

"One dimensional? Fuck, Morty, that is low…th-that really hurt."

"Well, then can you try not to insult my boyfriend, Rick?"

"Wow, Boyfriend, now is it? Okay, Morty. Jesus, you're sensitive today, Morty. Need to tell that boyfriend of yours to pound some midol into your-"

"Rick, get in the damn spaceship!"

"Alright, but we had a little change of plans with the mission, Morty."

"Never woulda guessed…"

"Wh-OUGH-at?"

"Nothing."

"We have to go by dimension PRX-12780."

"Rick, what the f-fuck, y-you said we should never, said we shouldn't EVER go there!"

"I know, M-Morty, but listen, you gotta understand we gotta go there today. So if you feel better leaving your l-little boy-toy here..."

"Nice try Rick, Jesse's coming."

"I am?" Jesse asked. Morty realized that he had backed away from them a few paces.

"Yeah, sure. Nothing to worry about, d-doll."

That triggered him just like Morty knew it would. Jesse straightened his shoulders and looking every bit as bulky as Morty knew him to be, strode over to firmly latch a hand in Morty's curls. Jesse yanked his head back, not too tough, not too gentle. "What did I ask you to call me, Morty?"

"Ah...want to let go of my Grandson there, Wal-mart Wolverine?" Rick asked.

Morty heard a little knife in Rick's words and wished he could see his Grandpa's face. Jesse obviously didn't.

"D-do, Ah Jeez, do I have to right now? Ya' know. I-In front of my family?" Morty asked as submissively as he could.

Jesse gripped his hair tighter and really pulled back this time, Morty got a real good look at the demon in Jesse's face. Something about his uncle Joe or something. Morty let out a hiss that he tried to tweak into more of a moan.

"O-ow alright, okay. Want to come with us...B-big...daddy."

Jesse released his clutching at once and began to stroke him instead, his head, his neck, down his back, and further to squeeze the flesh beneath his jeans a moment. "You betcher sweet little ass I do darlin' "

"A-hem."

Both Jesse and Morty turned to find Rick unnervingly close. He had a more pleasant look on his face than what Morty thought was natural. Rick slung an arm around Jesse's shoulder and handed him his flask as he steered him to the spaceship. "You know, you look like a good guy. I think I am going to like you."

"Yeah?" Jesse asked,, kind of confused, but obviously pleased.

"Oh yeah. C-c-OUGH-ould could use some muscle like you on this mission here." Rick said.

"Rick…" Morty said.

"You see, there are these nasty bugs." Rick explained as they all pushed into the ship, Rick and Jesse in front, Morty in the back.

"Bugs?" Jesse said in a vibrato that made Morty nervous. He had never counted on Jesse wanting to impress Rick. He had just wanted to make Rick squirm a little…

"Oh yeah, nothing too terrible, a piece of cake for a large fella like you." Rick said. "We need a bit of a distraction. You know, a left hook here, a black eye there." Rick jabbed the air and then slapped Jesse on the back. "You're just the guy. Morty, h-he's too weak, you know, and I need to grab the essence of a specific type of shadow or my next project won't come through."

"Rick I-I don't think…"

"S-shut your trap, Morty. I said it was no big, Morty. This guy's big enough to take out the entire armada himself, Mo-OUGH-rty." Rick said.

Morty's gut twisted. Yeah this was going to end badly. He tried again. "Jesse you don't have to do this. The thing about Rick is he is usually-"

"Can-it, Morty. If your grandfather needs my help, shoot, I'd be happy too. I'll kick some bug behind, and then we can head home and I can put that lovely mouth of yours to some real work." Jesse said, twisting around to smash his lips warningly into Morty's.

Morty sat back into his seat to break the kiss off, but Jesse just followed, tongue exploring and demanding and harsh. Jesse was big enough to be comfortable stretching over the two rows of seats in the space ship, so Morty gave up and let him do as he pleased, rubbing Morty's face and arms and inner thigh as he whispered what he had in mind for later into his ear.

After a few moments, Morty found himself looking up toward the front, bored with Jesse's unyielding appetite and ministrations. His eyebrows rose. He didn't know weather to worry or celebrate over the look he saw on Rick's reflection as he lit….one of Jesse's cigarettes?

Not weed. Not cocaine. Not PCP. Not heroin. Not some space opiate…..a cigarette.

Morty's body tingled all over, as he watched Rick breathe deep. His unibrow was furrowed hard, his lips were drawn down. Outwardly he seemed pretty calm, but the glint in his eyes said otherwise.

Jesse leaned back up toward the front and Rick's expression changed immediately. Happy. Friendly. Personable. They talked about earth science and wrangling cattle. Rick laughed, he put on some country music, to Jesse's delight, and they got drunk up front. Morty didn't see the glint again the rest of the trip, but something was wrong. Very wrong. He kept silent in the back, whatever was going to happen, he needed his wits to keep them all from dying on this planet. Rick didn't exile planets out of his portal gun for no good reason and all Morty could think of as they pulled up to PRX-12780, and slowly lowered into the toxic grey atmosphere, was that Rick didn't smoke cigarettes.